K'yorl paced about his room, his arms, crossed and tucked into themselves as he focused on his breathing, his mind whirling. He gripped his shirt tightly and shook his head, gritting his teeth in anger as he hissed roughly. He had to learn to control himself better, he had to!

His own thoughts brought him back to what happened early in the morning. He tried so desperately to block it out, to ease the knots in his stomach and his heart.

It was nothing but a simple disagreement. There was no hostility between either of them, if anything the chef was friendly in his opinions. But...K'yorl's anger had flared at the poor chef's logical points. He recalled yelling at the poor male, towering over him even though the chef was taller. The knife...he didn't remember grabbing the knife. He didn't even recall seeing it. But there it was, in his hand, before he snapped back to reality and realized what he was doing.

K'yorl, in his horror, had locked himself in his room after that. He never wanted to hurt that poor chef, and he was glad that he stopped himself before he actually did.

A knock at the door snapped him from his spiraling thoughts, before the door opened. In walked his brother, a concerned look on his face.

"T-Tso..." K'yorl muttered, looking away as he slowly stopped his pacing.

"K'yorl? Are you alright?" He asked, his voice soft. K'yorl turned and didn't answer, forcing a shaky breath of air into his taut lungs. At the silence Tso'sun sighed as he walked all the way in, closing the door behind him quietly.

"I'm just like him Tso. I'm just like my father. The look on his face, the fear in his eyes- it's exactly how I felt when Father would get drunk. I'm just like him," K'yorl rambled as his eyes burned, his grip on his own arms tightening.

"No, you're not K'yorl. You're a good person at your center," Tso'sun said. K'yorl paused and looked over at him with pained red eyes, seeing his half brother sitting down on the bed.

"I can't be Tso. I keep doing these things and I can't- I can't stop myself. I try so hard, but I keep hurting people. I keep scaring people. I-If that had been you, or Jevan, or-" K'yorl started, gritting his teeth together again as he shook his head.

"Sit with me, K'yorl. You're working yourself up," Tso'sun said softly as he patted the bed. K'yorl looked at him for a long while before hesitantly going over and sitting next to the half drow runeweaver. With strained breaths he leaned his head onto Tso'sun's shoulder.

"You're a good person. You want to know why, K'yorl? Because you care. You care about those around you, you care about being better. You want the best for those that you love, even if you have to make a hard choice," Tso'sun said softly, wrapping an arm around his brother's slumped shoulders.

"Then...what's wrong with me Tso? Why do I keep hurting and scaring people? Why...why am I like this? What good person acts like this?"

"You just need help, K'yorl. The mental kind." At that K'yorl moved away from Tso'sun, shaking his head.

"No, I don't. I just...I just need to get myself under control. I'm letting my emotions get the better of me, like I always have," K'yorl hissed, going to stand up again. He was stopped by a hand to his shoulder.

"K'yorl, listen. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you need help. You've suffered with this for years now, and it breaks my heart to see you like this. Don't you think that getting some help...professional help, would be good for you?"

"No, I don't need help. I don't- Father always said-"

"Your father was a cruel man who abused you to be submissive to him, brother. You've been strong against everything he's drilled, hit, and yelled into you. But don't you think it's time to let yourself be weak for once? To open yourself up?"

K'yorl paused as he listened, his red eyes burning as he bowed his head. His hands balled into fists as his eyes watered. Before he could stop himself the tears freely rolled down his face, choked sobs escaping him. Again he felt himself losing control to his emotions as he sobbed, his body trembling as he felt Tso'sun pull him into a gentle hug.

"I don't...I don't want to be like this anymore Tso. I want to be okay again. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore," K'yorl sobbed out, leaning into his brother's embrace.

"And I don't want to see you live in fear of yourself anymore. We're all here for you, K'yorl," Tso'sun said, his voice soft.

"I-...you're right...I need help...I can't...I can't do this alone anymore..."

*** *** ***

K'yorl hummed as he filled a glass with water from the kitchens, a small pill in his large, rough hands. Months had passed since his last outburst at the poor chef, who had retired shortly after. K'yorl didn't blame him, honestly. Taking a quick mouthful of water from the glass he popped the medication into his mouth, before swallowing.

Apparently, the...psychiatrist? Therapist? (He could never remember which was which, though he was going to both) That Tso'sun had brought him to diagnosed him with both mania and bipolar syndrome and had started making him take a few pills every morning to help him stabilize. Honestly, it had worked wonders.

He continued to hum as he hopped up onto the counters of the kitchen, sitting down as he watched the kitchens around him. Only a few people were actually there, considering it was still early in the day.

Tso'sun walked into the kitchens with a yawn, smiling sleepily and waving at K'yorl. The emperor smiled as he returned the wave, watching as Tso'sun approached.

"How are you feeling K'yorl?" He asked. A question he got every morning now.

"I'm feeling great. Just took the last pill," K'yorl said with a smile.

"That's good to hear. Your mood swings are a lot more mild, you know," Tso'sun chuckled, leaning against the counter as well.

"I know, I can feel it. Who knew such tiny little things could work that much magic?"

"Well, I did. Er- could you move? You're blocking the fruit bowl," Tso'sun said, pointing behind the emperor. K'yorl snickered as he turned, grabbing the bowl and handing it to his half brother.

"Thank you, by the way. For helping me," K'yorl said. Tso'sun looked up at him with a soft smile.

"Of course. That's what family's for."

*** *** ***

All characters mentioned belong to me