CHAPTER THIRTEEN

INTER-HIGH school intramurals. One of the school events that I very much do not enjoy. AT ALL. I mean too many people, very overwhelming, somehow suffocating.

Makakita pa nga lang ako ng maraming estudyante na kalalabas lang ng school building para mag-lunch break, medyo nagpa-panic na kaluluwa ko, ito pa kayang may students from tatlo pang iba't-ibang schools. Draining.

But then, of course, I had to be here. Two days lang naman, plus if I recall, today rin ang volleyball competition, kaya naman gugustuhin kong i-cheer sa Jackie sa abot ng makakaya ko. I want to be there if she needs something like water, an energy drink, or a towel. Hindi ko man kayang magsisisigaw sa harap ng maraming tao, alalayan ko lang si Jackie sa gilid ay sapat na para sa akin. She's my best friend after all, and I would always be there for her.

I arrived at around 12:30 sa school. Ang alam ko kasi ay hapon pa naman ang volleyball game, plus at doon pa lang naman ako kakailanganin ni Jackie katulad ng nangyayari these past few years. Hindi ko na rin minessage si Jack at baka busy sa kaka-practice, alam ko na rin naman kung saan mangyayari ang laro nila, so no need to ask na rin.

Ipinalibot kong muli ang mga mata ko sa mataong lugar sa campus. Dito muna ako tumayo sa may hallway, kung saan hindi ganon dumaraan ang mga tao. Not that I dislike people, nor do I have social anxiety disorder, I just... I just don't feel like getting into a sea of people. Kaya nga ngayon lang din ako dumating eh. Meet halfway talaga ang setup lagi namin ni Jackie, especially with these kinds of social events. She knew I'd only stay here for a couple of hours, but that I'd also be here to support her all the way.

"Had!" agad akong napalingon sa boses ng lalakeng naglakas-loob na tawagin ako sa nickname ko. Nang makita ko si Clint ay agad akong umirap at nagmamadaling maglakad, hoping na mataguan siya. Unfortunately, nahabol niya ako saka ako hinarangan. "Oops! Ba't ka tatakas?" Maloko niya akong nginitian na dahan-dahan din nawala nang makita niyang seryoso akong nakatingin sa kaniya. Hinayaan ko siyang makita kung gaano ako naiinis sa kaniya, at mukhang kinabahan siya roon. "B-Bakit? G-Galit ka ba sa 'kin? Did I do something wrong?"

I raised an eyebrow. Mukha kaming ewan na nakatayo sa may gitna ng hallway. "You tell me. Akala mo ba natuwa ako sa nalaman ko?" I let out a pissed sigh. "I can't believe you did that."

Nakita ko ang panlalaki ng mga mata niya kasabay ng pagbalot ng takot at pagsisisi. He looked so scared and vulnerable that it somehow hurt me. "Hadlee, I can explain—"

"Chill, Clint. I'm just overreacting," agad kong sabi dahil para talaga siyang takot na takot. "I mean I get it, ako rin naman ang nagsabi sa 'yong game lang ako mag-try ng ibang genre, pero hindi ko talaga in-expect na horror 'yon. Pati ba naman kasi book cover, mukhang normal lang," pagre-reklamo ko.

Kaya lang mukhang hindi maka-move on kaagad si Clint sa nangyari dahil ilang beses pa siyang natulala at kumurap-kurap. He even let out a shaky laugh. "A-Ah, ganon ba?" He laughed awkwardly again. "Right, uhh... Hindi kita nabigyan ng heads up, s-sorry..."

Napakunot naman ang noo ko sa inaakto niya. Sweat was visible on his forehead, though I think that's a given since mainit-init nga rin naman ang panahon. But just to check, "Are you okay? Bakit parang bigla kang namutla? Hindi naman ako talagang magagalit eh. Nainis na nagulat lang, pero hindi naman malala." Para akong na-guilty sa naging reaction niya. I made him feel uncomfortable. "I'm sorry if you misunderstood me–"

"No, no, please," agad niyang pigil. He looked away, and took a deep breath in and out, before looking back at me. "I'm sorry. I want..." He let out a deep sigh — a shaky sigh. "I want to... tell you something."

"Hmm?" I tried to understand his expression. "Clint, if you don't feel comfortable about it, you can tell me some other time."

Para namang nakahinga nang maluwag si Clint saka ako nginitian. "Thanks, Had. I'll tell you about it, once I'm ready. I promise." Tinanguan ko lang naman siya saka nginitian.

It took a minute before we let loose of that heavy atmosphere. It was a comfortable silence, enveloping both of us as we stared into each other's eyes. And slowly, I get to accept that maybe... I'm starting to appreciate his existence — which, given the complexity of the situation I'm currently in, may actually be a good thing.

Clint once again, plastered his pretty — somehow annoying — smile. "Tara? Ikot muna tayo o gusto mong tumambay sa tahimik? Bilhan na lang kita ng inumin?"

Umiling naman ako. "It's fine." Let's try this, Had. "Pwede naman..." Huminga ako nang malalim bago ngumiti. "Pwede naman tayong mag-ikot muna."

Para bang na-gets ni Clint na medyo malaking — actually, malaki talaga — deal para sa akin na um-oo akong gumala sa lugar na maraming tao. After ilang seconds na gulat at nagtataka ang itsura niya, nginitian na niya ako. "Tara na?"

Ramdam ko ang bahagyang kaba, pero dahil gusto kong subukan 'to, then... "Tara."

FUN. I was seriously enjoying this. I never knew that there would be booths where you could buy books. Marami ring tindahan ng mga kape at ice cream. I thought it would only focus on sporty booths. Clint and I bought our own drinks and snacks but took turns in paying for the game booths.

May ilang booths na may napalanuhan kami, like small stuffed toys and candies, meron din namang pakiramdam namin eh dinaya lang kami pero hindi na lang kami nagreklamo sa may-ari. Instead, nagbulungan na lang kami saka nagreklamo sa isa't isa na nauuwi lang naman sa tawa.

I honestly never imagined this to happen. To spend a day in school during an intramural event, spend tons of money in booths, with someone, a guy to be specific, and still enjoy it.

"This is so good!" I exclaimed upon tasting the second coffee-based frappe that I had for the day. "Ang tamis niya, but not too matamis. Tapos may pait pero hindi ganon kapait. Like tama lang, gets mo ba?" tanong ko kay Clint.

Nang hindi siya sumagot ay saka ko siya nilingon. Huling-huli ko naman siyang nakatitig sa akin habang nakangiti. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba maaraw at mainit kaya medyo namumula-mula ang mga tenga at pisngi niya.

Ilang beses akong napakurap. "B-Ba't ka nakatingin nang ganyan?" Hindi ko malaman pero nakakaramdam ako ng masamang kaba — not bad in a way na parang may gagawin siyang masama kaya ako kinakabahan, but bad in a way na ganoon din kasi yung kabang nararamdaman ko kapag si Nexus ang kaharap ko.

Umiling naman siya saka mas ngumiti. "Masaya lang akong makitang nag-eenjoy ka," sinserong sabi niya.

Without a second thought, I let out a genuine smile. "Yeah..." Bumaba ang tingin ko sa hawak kong frappe. "I'm enjoying this." In a social event, without Jackie who happens to be my only friend, I sure am having fun. I looked at Clint once again. "Thank you."

Bumahid ang pagtataka sa kaniyang maamong mukha. "Ba't naman?"

"I get to enjoy this." Tumingin pa ako sa paligid. Maraming tao pero hindi ko nararamdaman ang normal na suffocating feeling na nararamdaman ko noon. "Ngayon lang ulit ako nag-enjoy sa ganito." May malungkot na ngiting kumawala sa aking mga labi. "Tapos last year na rin pala."

"Then let's enjoy this last year to the highest level," suggest ni Clint na siyang ikinangiti at ikinatango ko.

"I would like that very mu—" Hindi ko natapos ang sasabihin ko, ni hindi ako nakapagpaalam kay Clint. Bigla-bigla na lang kasing may humila sa braso ko patalikod kay Clint at papunta sa loob ng campus kung saan halos walang tao.

I was so confused with what was happening. It was like one minute, I was truly enjoying my social life with someone other than Jackie, then the next minute, I was being pulled by a girl who I soon figured out was Jackie.

I was about to ask her what was this all about when I got a glimpse of her face, and her expression, which then got me thinking, "Why does she look so mad?"

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