CHAPTER FIVE

WANTING to grab another snack, I went to the cafeteria and was so busy looking for coins in my purse that I did not notice Jackie blocking my path. Ang ending tuloy ay muntik pa akong bumangga sa kaniya. Buti na lang at pinigilan niya ako. "Sorry—"

"You really should be," sabi niya habang masama ang tingin sa akin at bahagya pang nakapamewang. Yayayain ko sana siyang pumunta sa cafeteria nang bigla na lang niya akong hatakin papunta sa kung saan. Muntik ko pa ngang mabitawan ang coin purse at cellphone ko dahil sa pagkakabigla at bilis ng pagkaladkad niya eh.

Hindi ko alam kung tama ang pakiramdam ko pero parang humihigpit ang pagkakahawak ni Jackie sa braso ko. "Jack, m-masakit." Nang marinig niya iyon ay tumigil kami sa paglalakad. Napansin ko namang nasa garden kami ng school, ang pinakatahimik na garden sa campus. "Ano bang meron—"

"Why were you with Nexus yesterday?" The tone of her voice sounded as if I was guilty of committing a crime. And I don't like that kind of tone.

"Jackie—"

"Don't Jackie Jackie me," she blurted out. Her face was as red as a tomato. "Explain, Hadlee!" How was I supposed to explain if she was cutting me off and acting as if she caught me red-handed? "Are you meeting with Nexus behind my back‽" What? "You know very well that I like him. How dare you do that to me—"

"Don't talk as if I did something wrong, Jackie." She was already starting to piss me off big time, but I can't just explode, at least not yet. "You don't even know the whole story." I kept calming myself down, avoiding a bigger conflict with my best friend. "Look, yesterday was a coincidence—"

Jackie crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Right, a coincidence."

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. "It really was. You know how much I enjoy spending my free time in the Winter Cafe. You know I would always be there whenever I'm not at home or at school."

"So, you asked Nexus to meet you there—"

"How was I supposed to do that when I don't even approach the person nor contact him in any way, Jackie? Are you seriously judging me with an incomplete picture? Hindi mo ba talaga naisip na baka nasaktuhan lang na pumunta si President sa cafe na normal ko namang tinatambayan?"

She still did not seem satisfied with my explanation. "Then why did he approach you? Why did you let him approach you?"

"Seriously?" Hindi ako makapaniwala sa pinagsasasabi niya.

"Yes, seriously. You know very much—"

That's just it. "Jackie. Are you seriously pushing that? Are you seriously telling me to be disrespectful to that person? Anong ine-expect mong gawin ko? Layasan siya paglapit niya? Wala naman siyang ginagawang masama sa akin ah—"

"But you know how much I like him—"

"And I have no plans to steal him, for Pete's sake, Jackie!" Pareho kaming natigilan nang dahil sa paglakas ng boses ko. Ito ang unang beses na sumabog ako sa harap ni Jackie, nang dahil kay Jackie, and for sure, she knew about it. But I have no plans to apologize for it. She was the one at fault this time, and she was being too much.

Natahimik naman na si Jackie. Kahit papaano ay kumalma naman siya pero hindi pa rin nawawala ang tingin niya sa aking may halong pagkainis, kaya hindi ko rin inalis ang tingin ko sa kaniyang iritado. Gusto kong makita niyang sumobra siya.

Ilang saglit din kaming nagtitigan lang at nanahimik, hanggang sa inabot na kami ng pagtunog ng bell. "Mauuna na ako sa classroom," ani ko sa kaniya saka siya tinalikuran.

Akala ko ay mananahimik na lang siya pero narinig ko siyang nagtanong bago pa ako humakbang paalis ng garden. "You're really not planning to steal him from me, right, Hadlee?"

Huminga muna ako nang malalim saka napapikit nang mariin bago dumilat at sumagot sa kaniya. "He's all yours, Jackie," after that, I made my way towards our classroom.

Dama ko pa rin ang bigat ng epekto ng sagutan namin ni Jackie, at dama ko pa rin ang sakit ng mga binitawan kong salita. Kasi kung magpapakatotoo ako? Nang dahil sa simpleng interaction namin ni Nexus kahapon — nang dahil sa chocolates na ibinigay niya sa akin all of a sudden, hindi ko lalo mapigilan ang sarili kong mahulog sa kaniya.

I know it's wrong. Kahit sabihin pa nating hindi pa rin naman magkarelasyon sina Jackie at Nexus, kahit na mukhang wala namang progress si Jackie sa pagpapaalam at pagpaparamdam kay Nexus na may gusto siya rito, sinigurado na sa akin ni Jackie na kaniya si Nexus.

Pagkakaroon lang naman ng feelings ang usapan, Had. Technically, mas lamang ka pa nga dahil mas una mo siyang nagustuhan eh. I removed those thoughts out of my head. Hindi pwedeng ganon ang mindset na meron ako. Simula nang sabihin ni Jackie na gusto niya si Nexus ay alam ko nang wala na akong laban.

Whether they become a couple or not, as long as Jackie likes him, I have no right to like him too. That is Jackie's rule.

I took a deep breath as I composed myself before I entered the classroom. Hindi pwedeng distracted na naman ako sa klase, masyadong importante ang week na ito at ang mga susunod na week. Hindi ko pwedeng pabayaan ang studies ko nang dahil sa personal kong buhay.

When I entered the room, our teacher still hadn't arrived yet. Si President ay wala sa upuan niya, balita ko ay busy siya sa meetings dahil sa paparating na intrams. Si Jackie naman ay saktong pumasok sa classroom. I thought she would approach her desk as soon as she walked in, but she walked towards mine. I could see her holding a lollipop, the one that she knew I liked.

"Here," she handed me the candy, "a peace offering?" She knew I had a soft spot for her, and she knew that she was the only real friend I had. "I'm sorry. Just... Just don't do it again, okay?"

I let out a sigh. "Jack, hindi ko kontrolado ang galaw at desisyon sa buhay ng crush mo. But I can assure you that I won't," this would be another lie, "develop romantic feelings towards him." Because I already have them.

She seemed to calm her head now as she grinned at me. "Anyway, you can have any guy you want naman, Haddy, except for my Cairo, of course." I rolled my eyes at her as I accepted and unwrapped the lollipop before putting it in my mouth. "With that being said, I want you to meet someone."

I almost swallowed the whole candy with the stick because of it. I knew Jackie could be a little too pushy when it comes to my dating and love life, but she would only tell me to stop sticking my nose in the books and meet people. Ngayon lang siya nag-brought up ng tungkol sa literally meeting someone. "Define meet."

Her grin grew wider, and I did not like where the conversation was going. "Well, someone approached me, saying he liked you for quite a while na. He wanted me to ask you if you could perhaps meet him?"

I squinted my eyes at her. "Be clearer, Jackie."

Napalabi naman siya bago muling ngumiti. Her hands were entwined behind her. "Have a date with him."

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