Kyungsoo felt the cold wind on his skin. Immediately, his instinct told him to wake up, but under the blanket it was so warm. The bed was so fluffy and soft. It was so comfortable. He didn't want to wake up. But... why was his heart beating that loud? Wait, that weren't his heartbeats.

"Jongin," Kyungsoo gasped as he noticed Jongin lying next to him. The taller had his arm wrapped around Kyungsoo's waist as if he were afraid Kyungsoo could disappear.

Jongin was deep in his sleep and yet his eyebrows plunged into a frown. Carefully Kyungsoo straightened them with his fingertips. Why was he like this, even in his sleep? It hurt seeing the taller like this. Laying down, Kyungsoo cuddled himself into Jongin's embrace. Moments like this made him believe nothing had changed. Still, he knew he was lying to himself. He hadn't forgotten what happened. No, he hadn't, but it was ok to play dumb for a short moment. Just a moment, pretending everything were fine.

"You know, I don't even know how to call you?" Kyungsoo flinched as he heard Jongin's voice. Having his head leaned against the taller's chest made Jongin's voice sounded even deeper. Kyungsoo raised his head and their eyes met.

"But you're not telling me your name, are you?" M added, and as expected the small one kept silent. Seconds later, Kyungsoo looked away.

"Soo," he murmured.

"What?" Jongin couldn't hide the surprise in his voice.

"You can call me Soo. Is that enough for you?" The small one repeated and by that a smile appeared on Jongin's lips.

"Yes, that's enough for now."

Something was in the air, and they both felt it. The situation felt so wrong and yet so right. The other was so close to them and yet so far away.

"Was any of it true?" Finally, Jongin said the only question he wanted to ask if it were up to him. It was never Byun Baekhyun, it was always just Soo he wanted to know about.

"When you said you loved me? Was that the truth?" Jongin finally said it out loud. The small one reached for Jongin's hand, slowly as if he were asking for permission, and Jongin allowed him. He placed Jongin's hand on his chest, right where his heart was.

"Can you feel it? You're the only one who can make it beats like that." Kyungsoo explained,

"I don't know how else I can prove it to you."

"That could also mean you're afraid of me," Jongin argued, but deep down he knew he wanted to believe Soo. He wanted to believe Soo's heart speeded up because of him.

"I told you already. I'm not afraid of you." Kyungsoo said with a clear voice. He meant it and Jongin should know it.

"After everything? After I..." Jongin doubted, but Kyungsoo interrupted him. Grabbing his trembling hands, Kyungsoo replied while locking their eyes.

"I'm not afraid of you and there is nothing you can do to change that."

"Then you're an idiot," Jongin replied.

"If you're the reason, then I'm fine with it." Kyungsoo didn't lie. He wasn't afraid of the taller and he would never be. But he was afraid of the things Jongin would do because of him. Kyungsoo had realized it long ago; they are toxic for each other. One day they'd break each other, and that... that was what scared him.

"You said you're sincere, but you're still not telling me where Byun Baekhyun is. How can I believe you?" Jongin took the chance.

"If I tell you, I wouldn't be the person you fall in love with, don't you think?" Kyungsoo asked back, and this time it was Jongin who fell into silence until he decided to tell the small one the truth.
"What if I tell your life depends on it? What if I tell you, it's either your life or his?" Telling Soo the truth was easier than Jongin expected. Maybe he should have done it sooner. The boss realized he had been an idiot... a jerk.

"You don't know it, but I owe Baekhyun hyung a lot. Every good that happened to me was paid by his pains. I haven't known it before, so I took it for granted. But now I will not trade his life for mine." Kyungsoo explained. It hit Jongin like a truck how little he really knew about the person he married. It sounded like there was a long story about that Baekhyun and Soo, and it needed to be told. But not now, they couldn't afford to waste time.

"I knew you'd be like that," Jongin said, standing up. He wondered why he did fall for this person. Soo was the complete opposite of him. Soo was loyal, gentle, and brave. Soo was the light, while he was nothing but darkness.

Yet, that was fine, if that was what he needed to be in order to protect the light. Sighed, Jongin opened the small box on the nightstand which Soo hadn't noticed until now. Jongin had his back turned to Kyungsoo, but the small one could hear the click as the box opened.

"You don't have to be scared," Jongin added with a monotone voice and immediately Kyungsoo sensed danger.

"Jongin, what's that?" Kyungsoo shuttered as the taller turned around with a syringe in his hand.

"Don't worry. It won't hurt." Jongin said and Kyungsoo shook his head.

"Jongin, what is that?" The small one repeated, emphasizing every word he said.

"Something that'll help you tell me the truth. It won't harm you." Jongin explained, though he knew his words wouldn't be any comfort. And he was right. As soon as he said that, Kyungsoo jumped from the bed, and he was just glad Jongin had dressed him after he passed out, or else he would have shamed himself to death. Kyungsoo ran to a corner of the room, making the distance between them the longest possible.

"Jongin, no, you are not going to drug me," Kyungsoo pointed with his finger, his voice was fierce. The small one sounded demanding, and Jongin understood why he fell for this tiny human. It was the strength covered in his vulnerability. Soo was someone you wanted to protect at all cost, even though you knew he could kick ass.

It was hard, still Jongin took a step forwards, then one more step and one more step. But before he could come too close, Kyungsoo pushed him away, heading to the exit. Jongin had forgotten how strong Soo actually was. Also, he had forgotten Soo was a good fighter, and indeed he regretted it the moment he grabbed Soo's shoulder, pulling on the small one. They had never fought for real, and Soo had never thrown a punch at him. But now he understood how Soo's kidnapper lost a tooth. The small one had a hard punch. Jongin confirmed that as it hit his stomach. Jongin could tell Kyungsoo was holding back and yet, it was enough to make him whine in pain. The injuries his father left still hurt, he wasn't in the mood for another fight. He should end it now before he lost control and harm Soo again. With that in mind Jongin threw the syringe on the bed. Now, having both hands free, it didn't take long for Jongin to catch the small one.

"Don't, Jongin," Kyungsoo struggled, pushing against his grip. Yet, Jongin held on tight. This time he would not let go.

"Jongin." The taller looked up, as Soo called his name in a way that was unexpectedly calm.

"If you do that, I'll never forgive you," the small one warned, sending a cold chill through Jongin's body. His grip weakened for a split second and Kyungsoo took the chance to break free. His head turned to the door and his feet followed, but the small one miscalculated his strength as he pulled away and lost his balance. Jongin reached out for Soo as the other fell forwards. It was like a scene in those movies. He could see Soo falling so clearly as if they were in slow motion. Soo was right in front of him, but he couldn't reach the small one. Then a loud crash brought him back to reality as Jongin realized Soo had bumped his head hard against the nightstand.

"Baekhyun," he called, and in speed he rushed over. The small one lay there, facing the floor, unmoving. Carefully, Jongin turned Soo around, while fighting against the fear he could hurt the other. The shook hit him as he saw the blood on Soo's face. There was a cut on his forehead, just millimeters above his right eyebrow. The cut was so deep, blood dropped into Soo's eyes. As Jongin pulled Kyungsoo into his arms, the small one tugged at his sleeve.

"Don't," Soo repeated, but his eyes closed before he could finish the sentence. Jongin bit on his lips. He knew what Soo wanted to say.

"If you do that, I'll never forgive you."

But he couldn't hurt that boy again, so if the drug was the only way, then he should never be forgiven.

--- << >> ---

Jongin held his breath. With every stitch Dr. Song put on Soo's forehead, and the way the needle pierced in the small one's skin, Jongin could feel the pain as if it were his own. He shouldn't be, but he was glad Soo was unconscious. Thus, the small one wouldn't feel the pain. Only as the last stitch was done, Jongin breathed out.

"This will leave a scar, but once it's healed, he can remove it with a laser therapy, if he wants to." The doctor explained, and Jongin nodded.

"Will he be ok?" Jongin asked.

"Except for the cut on his forehead, everything else seems fine. But I can't tell for sure until he wakes up."

"When will he wake up?"

"I don't know. We'll have to wait," the doctor answered. Jongin sighed. He was never a patient one.

"You should stop doing that." Dr. Song said out of the blue. Her voice was full of concerns and Jongin had no idea what she meant. As the boss reacted with confusion, she added.

"Since you two got married he got his leg broken, then his hand and now this? His leg just healed, and his hand must still hurt. You should stop being so rough with him. Do you want to kill the poor boy?"

Jongin felt like he was being scolded by his mother. Since he could remember, Dr. Song was always there every time he was sick or every time he got hurt. She was more like a mother to him than his own mother was. Thus, he didn't want her to think of him as an abusive husband. He didn't mind her thinking of him as a violent person. After all, she knew who he was. She knew what he did for a living. Yet, he didn't want her to think of him as someone who abuse his loved ones. Yet, before he could explain himself, a soft groan caught their both attentions. Immediately, they turned to Kyungsoo, who just opened his eyes. The small one instinctively touched the cut on his forehead.

"No, don't touch it," Dr. Song rushed over, grabbing Kyungsoo's hand to stop him.

"It hurts," Kyungsoo said under his breath as he sat up.

"I know. Here, take those painkillers. You should feel better soon." The doctor handed him two pills. Kyungsoo stared at the woman in front of him for a moment before swallowing the pills. Something in Kyungsoo's eyes was different, and Jongin could sense that. The small one looked at the doctor as if he were trying to figure out whether to trust her or not.

"How are you feeling?" Being impatient, Jongin asked, stealing the doctor's line. Kyungsoo slightly flinched at Jongin's voice. The small one seemed surprised like he hadn't noticed Jongin's presence. Jongin immediately felt Soo's eyes on him. The small one was scanning him from head to toe as if he were searching for something. Then, the disappointment in his face showed he hadn't found it.

"Who are you?" Kyungsoo asked, looking at Jongin like he had never seen the taller before. Jongin widened his eyes. The taller slowly approached Kyungsoo. He wanted to run towards Soo, but he didn't want to scare the small one. Soo already looked so lost.

Dr. Song was as worried as the boss. With the flashlight in her pocket, she checked Kyungsoo's pupils.

"Do you know where you are?" She asked. It was just a simple question, but it made the small one frown.

"I," he stuttered, "I don't know." Kyungsoo shook his head. The doctor and Jongin turned to each other. They didn't say a word, but Kyungsoo still noticed their concerns.

"Do you remember what happened?" Dr. Song's question once again caused Kyungsoo discomfort. Jongin didn't miss the way Soo started to play with his fingers. That was something the small one always did whenever he was nervous.

"I... what happened?" Kyungsoo repeated the question to himself, not being able to answer. His hands started to tremble.

"Did I hurt myself?" He replied. Jongin leaned forwards. A breeze of hope appeared on his mind. Soo seemed to remember. Or was it just a wishful thought?

"Do you remember how?" Jongin asked with too much enthusiasm for the situation. But the small one didn't answer, and his hope disappeared as fast as his came.

"Can you tell me your name?" Dr. Song questioned, and Jongin could see the panic in Soo growing with every second. The small one frowned even more. He brought his hand to his injury just to remember he shouldn't touch it seconds later. His lips trembled and tears formed in his eyes.

"My name?... No," Kyungsoo said, and his voice trembled even more. The other two exchanged glances one more time and Kyungsoo didn't miss that. Their silence scared him. They didn't say a word, but it was like they were communicating, and Kyungsoo was left out of their 'conversation'.

"Hey, don't cry," the doctor tried to comfort Kyungsoo, "everything will be fine."

"Cry?" Kyungsoo murmured, touching his face. The tears were a shook to him. He hadn't realized he'd started crying. Kyungsoo brought his knees to his chest, almost curling into a ball. He made himself smaller as if he wanted to hide. Soo looked like a lost child, being surrounded by strangers. No, to Soo that was exactly how this situation felt like.

"But," the small one raised his head, looking at the two people in front of him, "what's my name?"

Sorry for the late update. I haven't feel well lately. I hope you are doing well though.