Jongin stepped on gas. His navigation warned him of the coming speed camera, yet Jongin didn't think of slowing down. The sun was setting down, and the highway was painted in orange. Jongin narrowed his eyes, for the sunlight was blinding. He barely saw the car before him. Leaning his body to the passenger seat, Jongin opened the glovebox, searching for his sunglasses. To his bad luck, it wasn't there. Jongin growled. Today was just not his day. Not a single thing went right today, starting with his father's phone call in the morning. He should have known better. That was the ultimate bad omen.

His father had called as he was still asleep and had demanded him to come home immediately. Jongin was the "official" leader, but his father was still the one giving the tone in the gang. The old man had not retired for real.

As Jongin arrived and saw Suho standing at the front gate, he knew right away something was wrong. Simply a glance from the older and he understood he should brace himself for whatever was awaiting him behind that door. As soon as he walked through the gate, he sensed the intensity in the air. His father had summoned the most trusted "brothers" and "uncles" of the family and they all were armed. Yet, Jongin didn't miss those strangers who were trying too hard to hide the guns under their jackets. It was clear. This was a "meeting", one of the highest levels.

Jongin bit on his lower lip. How could he not notice the danger sooner? The moment his father introduced the middle-aged man in front of him as the new leader of the Black Lotus, Jongin understood he was already too late, too late to save Soo. And as Baekhyun's uncle thanked him for his cooperation, his body moved on his own. The next thing he knew was being in his car, speeding to his safe house, praying that he'd be the first one to reach Soo. The voice of Baekhyun's uncle was still in his head, giving him chill.

"As soon as Baekhyun is returned to us, nothing will be in the way of our new alliance."

Jongin could hear the squeak of the tires as he stepped on the brakes. Arrived at the safe house, he ran inside as fast as he could. Yet, he was too late. The house was empty, and Soo was gone. Jongin let out a scream. His chest went up and down due to the running, as he checked every room and every single spot in this place. His hand clenched into a fist, and Jongin threw a punch against the mirror. The moment the broken glasses hit the ground, and Jongin heard the noises, the gang leader flinched. Was it his imagination or did he just hear Soo's voice?

"Let me go." Once again, Jongin noticed a voice coming from the wood. It was Soo. Jongin was sure. It had to be Soo.

In a second, Jongin rushed into the wood, following Soo's voice. With every step, Jongin felt the wind more clearly. The air was changing bit by bit on his way. Jongin had no doubt where he was heading to. The cliff. As expected, he found Soo and his "uncle", Choo, who was his father's right-hand. Yet, he would never think Namjoon would be chasing after Soo, instead of helping that one person he had promised to protect.

Jongin 's legs moved on their own. They were running so fast, it felt like they didn't even touch the ground. Jongin hated the fact that he was close enough to see everything but not close enough to do anything. It was killing him, the way he was forced to watch his loved one getting hurt without a chance to help.

Jongin could clearly see how his "uncle" drew the weapon. His heart skipped a beat as Choo pointed his gun at Soo and a shot is fired. Jongin jumped at the loud bang, awaiting the worst. However, "uncle" Choo missed Soo. Yet, before he could breathe out, Namjoon pulled his gun as well. To Soo's luck, or to his bad luck, Namjoon was too close to Soo, so they happened to fight over the gun. Although Soo had a hard punch, it was still a short fight. Their legs tangled, and Soo tripped, but behind him, the ground ended. Jongin couldn't believe his eyes as Soo fell down the cliff. Soo's scream mixed up with his own. Jongin couldn't tell them apart.

The gang leader reached out for the smaller one, forcing his feet to move faster. But he was too far away. All the power he had was useless; in the end, he could do nothing but watch his loved one falling into death.

Then Jongin heard a loud crash that was followed by Suho's voice. Turned around, Jongin widened his eyes as he saw Suho in a car that the older just crashed into a tree. Suho was in as much panic as Jongin. They both rushed to the cliff. Yet, while Suho slowed down at the last steps away from the abyss, Jongin seemed to speed even more. The gang leader was about to jump after his lover as Suho's strong grip held him back.

"Let me go," Jongin yelled at Suho.

"You know he's a terrible swimmer." The younger shouted.

"Jongin ," Suho tightened his arms around Jongin.

"That doesn't matter." The older whispered with a broken voice, and Jongin froze.

"He wouldn't come to swim. A fall from this height makes the water hard as concrete." Suho explained. Jongin noticed the pain in the other's words.

"He wouldn't come to swim," Suho repeated. Just now Jongin realized how the strength had left his legs. His body dropped to the ground, and he felt Suho's grip loosening.

"But he could have survived," Jongin stuttered.

"No one survives a fall from this height, Jongin. Wake up," Suho yelled at his boss as he grabbed Jongin's collar with both hands. Jongin widened his eyes in shock. Suho had never raised his voice against him. The older was shaking. The veins on his neck were visible. Suho looked like he was in as much pain as Jongin.

Suddenly Jongin felt so dumb for not noticing it earlier. Where did Suho come from? The taller just appeared out of thin air.

"How did you find us?" Jongin frowned.

"I followed you," Suho confessed.

"You did what? Why?" Jongin's face darkened even more.

"Do you have something to do with this?" The gang leader said through clenched teeth, and Suho shook his head.

"I just saw you leaving all of sudden. I thought you might need some help," lied Suho for he couldn't tell Jongin that he followed the younger to find Kyungsoo.

Jongin hadn't bought that yet, but before he could react. Namjoon's voice interrupted their conversation.

"I'm sorry," Namjoon said. In a second Jongin's shock turned into pure anger. The gang leader threw Suho aside and jumped down Namjoon's throat.

"What have you done? I trusted you." Jongin shouted his lungs out. Why did people around him – one after another – keep disappointing him? Each and every time he trusted somebody; it'd turn out to be a mistake.

"I'm sorry, Jongin. I did it to protect you," Namjoon apologized, getting on his knees. Yet, that wasn't enough for Jongin to forgive him. The gang leader clenched his fingers into a fist, and the next thing Namjoon felt was a punch that numbed his jaw. Through the impact the bodyguard bit on his tongue so hard, it bled.

"To protect me? By betraying me?" Jongin yelled.

"He was a threat to your safety. It was just a matter of time until he gets you killed." Namjoon spitted the blood on the ground and explained.

„You son of a bitch," Jongin threw another punch, the hardest he could. The bodyguard was knocked out in one second.

"I'm sorry. I did it to protect you," Namjoon stuttered, barely understandable through the coughings. As Jongin rubbed his right hand with a painful growl, being distracted for a short moment, Namjoon took the chance and bowed to his boss before reaching for his weapon.

Immediately Suho threw himself between Namjoon and Jongin, while "uncle" Choo backed away for his own safety. Then, everything happened in a split second. They hear a shoot and a body dropped to the ground. All three checked on themselves and then on the others. Who got shot?

And in the next moment, they noticed Namjoon lying on the ground, which was painted red with blood.

"Forgive me," the guard whispered under his last breaths.

Jongin was paralyzed. In just a few minutes, he had lost two of the people he'd trusted the most. His brain was refusing to accept all this.

"He killed himself," Choo stuttered, "I have nothing to do with this." The old man clarified before running away, leaving Suho the others behind.

"That son of a bitch," Jongin shouted after his "uncle" who was almost out of sight. The gang leader turned to Namjoon who had stopped moving.

"How could he betray me?" Jongin hissed, bowing down to his former guard. Yet, before he could reach the body, Suho stopped him one more time.

"Don't touch him. You'll leave your DNA on him," the older warned, "that coward was right, it was a suicide after all."

Jongin had never been so confused like he was at this moment. His body was like on vibration. He wanted to do something. He needed to do something, only if he'd know what to do.

"I'll take care of that," Suho pointed with his head at Namjoon, "and you," he emphasized the younger's name, "you'll get on your car, drive down the river and find him."

"Ok," Jongin said in astonishment. Suho sounded different. What the older said sounded like an order to the boss. Every piece of his body told him to put Suho in his place, but Jongin knew better. Suho was right. The best thing... No, the only thing he could do at this moment was looking for Soo.

Jongin nodded and he ran back to his car, driving down the river. Maybe Soo made it. The smaller one must survive. And Jongin would find him, wherever he was.

--- Ten days later ---

Jongin growled as he opened the front door. The morning light was too bright for his eyes, so the gang leader told the person on his veranda to get in quickly.

"What do you want, Suho?" He hissed, being mad for no reason.

"Did you sleep here again? It's been over a week. You should go home," Suho sighed at the sight of a broken Jongin. The younger one had been staying in the safe house since Kyungsoo fell off the cliff. All Jongin did was looking for Kyungsoo. At first, Suho was grateful for the leader's help, but as time went by it got sadder and sadder, for Jongin refused to accept the fact that Kyungsoo wasn't coming back. They might never find Kyungsoo.

"What do you want?" Jongin asked dryly. He was too tired to explain himself, and people wouldn't understand anyway.

"I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I'm leaving the company," Suho said with hesitation.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jongin frowned.

"I quit, Jongin. After what happened to Baekhyun, I can't wake up every morning, acting like it was nothing," Suho explained. Jongin couldn't judge at the older, for he felt the same. Yet, unlike Suho, he didn't have the privilege to 'quit' the gang. He was a part of it and he'd be a part of it until the day he died.

"I didn't know you were so close with Baekhyun," Jongin said.

"I know you thought all I did was babysitting him, but," Suho replied, "... I promised him I would protect him, and I failed. He was a good person. He was too good for our world."

Jongin nodded. Suho was right. Soo was too good for his damned world.

"Are you blaming me for what happened?" Jongin asked, not being able to say the word "death". To him, Soo wasn't dead. He wasn't giving up on Soo. Unless he found Soo's lifeless body, or else he'd believe Soo had survived.

"I'm blaming every single person involved," Suho raised his voice until he was yelling at Jongin, "I'm blaming you for hiding Baekhyun in this damned place without telling me. I'm blaming your father for trading Baekhyun's life for an alliance. I'm blaming Namjoon for telling your father where Baekhyun was, and I'm blaming myself for not finding Baekhyun sooner. So yes, Jongin, it's not all about you. You fucked up and so did I."

Suho took a deep breath. His voice softened dangerously.

"And we both will have to live with this. Every time we think of him, we'll ask ourselves what we should have done differently. And it'll hurt, but that's the least we'd pay for our mistakes," the older lectured his boss.

Jongin gasped for air. Suho's words were like thousands of blades cutting his heart. It pained because he knew they were true.

"And you should go home, take a shower, shave your beard and stop being so pathetic," Suho said, heading to the exit.

"He wouldn't want you to be like this," the older said, slamming the door behind him.

I don't have any excuse for killing Soo. I'm just an evil author and I'll go in the shame-corner now.