I wake as I always do- early in the morning. My mind is like a mental alarm clock from doing this process daily. But when I look around, the room is unfamiliar, until I hear the sound of Kindle's ragged snores above me. I don't want to wake her so I lie back down and try to fall back asleep. But a few minutes later my eyes are open again and I can't sit still. It was unnatural for me to do nothing once I woke up, I was always use to doing something.
Turns out Kindle is a heavy sleeping, because as I get up and head over to the door I bang my leg loudly against the vanity and instead of waking up like I would've, she continues to snore on.
"This room is too dark."
I look around for a light switch and find it strange that I fail to find one- but I spot the next best thing. A window, above Kindle's bed, is covered and closed but a few rays of light shine out. Pulling back the curtain and the shades, I then open the window- which is a struggle since it seems Kindle doesn't put it up often. A refreshing breeze flies in my face once I get it up all the way. The room is automatically transformed as the light washes in. Even after this, Kindle still doesn't wake from her slumber and if I didn't hear her snoring I would've thought she might be dead. I'm quite sure she wouldn't wake up even if gunshots rang out.
I took a moment to look out the window and take in the view and breeze. Back at home, mother never would've let me open the windows. I wonder why we even had them if we never used them and I'm sure mother would've preferred that if it was a choice.
I look down at Kindle sound asleep and a twinge of guilt shoots through me. She invites me into her house, comforts me when I had a horrible flashback, and offers her room to me. She has already done so much for me and I've just been a burden to her. It won't be as much as she has done for me, but I could make her breakfast.
Heading into the kitchen, I make my way toward the fridge. But when I open the door I'm shocked. There isn't anything in here. I mean there are some food items in here but nothing that could make a meal let alone breakfast. The things that are in here aren't exactly good for you either. Some rotten oranges, two sodas, a small amount of milk- no sure if it's spoiled or not-, a piece of chocolate cake, and something green and yellow in a Tupperware container. Suddenly my eyes catch something in the back. Tucked behind the milk is a pack of bacon and a carton of eggs.
There aren't many slices of bacon left and I used the rest of the eggs while I cooked. I would have to buy some for her and maybe a few more items while I'm at it. I feel bad about buying more than I used, I don't want to insult her by buying grocery items for her. Beside, she may not like what I get.
I'm almost done cooking the eggs when I hear a voice near the entrance of the kitchen.
"Morning."
I thought I heard her get up but I was deep in concentration and didn't even hear her come in. I was startled but quickly composed myself before replying.
"Morning."
"Wow, you get up really early. I usually get up too late for breakfast."
I'm glad. This means that this gesture will be much more meaningful. I wished I could've had it done before she woke up.
"Just a habit." I respond.
She doesn't seem to know what to do with herself and after awhile she leaves the room. I still concentrate on finishing the eggs and finding a plate to use. It appears she doesn't use this kitchen too much, since it fits the rest of the apartment's theme of dust and webs. Her plates and utensils are all plastic. Giving up on finding a real plate I use the plastic ones and take out the milk to pour into a small plastic cup- turns out the milk is still good.
Kindle rejoins me in the kitchen and begins to rummage around for something. She must've went to change, I should probably change into something else too. I finally finish the eggs and plate them with the bacon, but turning around I notice Kindle already has something else in front of her.
"What's that?"
"My breakfast." She replies slightly embarrassed.
Her breakfast is cookies and a soda? I was hoping to surprise her with this breakfast but if she wanted that it's fine. I really shouldn't expect that everyone will be thrilled about someone else making their breakfast.
I try to mask my disappointment with a nonchalant voice. "Oh. I was making you something but if you want that instead, that's fine."
She looked surprised. "Thank you. What is it?"
Pushing aside the sweets for me to set the plate down, I add.
"Eggs and bacon. Sorry I used all your eggs, I'll buy you some more."
I decide to leave her to it and go to change my clothes but her voice stops me.
"Where are you going?"
I realize my mistake. "I'm going to change and then I'll wash the dishes I used." I used the dishes I should wash them.
I take my satchel to the bathroom and shift through it until I find my clothes. All the while I'm planning my next steps.
"I'll wash the dishes, buy her some eggs, and then head out. But where do I go?"
This meeting with Kindle and staying over was a one time chance that I'll probably never have again. I try to rack my brain and think of where I would like to go, what I would like to see. But each time I come up empty-handed. Right now I should focus on the tasks I already have planned out.
I finish changing and decide that Kindle should be done with breakfast. I'll get started on the dishes soon. As I swing open the door, I hit something hard. Couching down in front of the door is Kindle holding her nose. I put two and two together and realize I must've hit her with the door when I was coming out. Guilt immediately floods me.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't hear you standing in front of the door."
"That's ok. I shouldn't have been standing so close to the door in the first place. I'll be fine." She says. But when she reveals her nose I know I must've hit her good. I feel awful now but she doesn't seem to notice. Instead she looks to be in a hurry to get somewhere.
"It'll be fine. By the way, breakfast was delicious. I have to go to work now so... I mean you can stay here if you want. I'll be back."
Not letting the words register for me, she dashes out the front door. I stand there for a minute before heading towards the kitchen to wash the dishes.
"She said I could stay if I wanted? She was probably just in a rush. She didn't sound to sure of it either, I don't want to over stay my welcome. After this, I'll head to the store and buy her eggs, then leave. Simple."
A knock at the door interrupts my thoughts and causes me to jump. I walk over to the front door and wait to see if the knock will come again. It does and it echoes loud and urgent. It might be Kindle coming back for something. But when I open the door it's not Kindle standing there. A tall, stone faced man with his hands on his hips and an impatient look stands in the doorway. His appearance frightens me slightly and I become wary of the man. He looks surprised when he sees me but still wears that look of annoyance.
"Who are you?" He asks. He has an accent of some sort but I can't figure out what it is.
I don't say anything and for a moment I forget my name.
"Where is Ms.Kindle Raynor?"
"Who?" I ask stupidly.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, the man rubs his face. "The young lady that lives here in this apartment. Is she here? Yes or no?"
Remembering myself I quietly respond. "Uh no. She left for work a few minutes ago."
Scratching his mustache, the man mumbles something about checking the parking lot for her car. I jump at the sudden loudness of his voice. He gives me a weird look.
"Jumping little thing aren't you? You her boyfriend?"
"Uh no."
"I know you can't be her brother, she said she only had one. Friend? Cousin maybe?"
I shake my head.
He mutters something else under his breathe before addressing me again. "Well one night stand or something else, you need to tell Ms.Raynor that her rent is one day pass due. Again."
When I don't respond he sighs and starts down the stairs. I call out to him.
"Who should I say the message is from?"
"Mr.Ramoz. Felix Ramoz."
I'm about to close the door when I realize something.
"Uh, would you know the directions to the nearest grocery store or somewhere I could buy some eggs."
Throwing his arms in the air he cries out in frustration. Grudgingly heading back up the stair, I close the door slightly out fear.
"What's your name?"
"Miles Silas."
"Well Mr.Silas, the nearest grocery store is about six miles from here by car, gonna feel like eleven trying to walk. But seeing that you wish only to purchase eggs I would suggest the store up the road."
I crack the door open a bit more. "Do they also sell milk and maybe some cleaning products?"
He sighs again and rubs his face with both hands this time. "Yes they sell that too, I assure you."
"And you said it's right down the road?"
"Yes. You need to keep walking up the road, past the bridge that has the stream running under it, and you'll see it on the right hand side. If you hit the street with the twisted stop sign, you've gone too far. Is that all Mr.Silas?"
"Uh yes. Thank you."
"Don't forget to tell Ms.Raynor about her rent."
"I will." I close the door and exhale before going over to my satchel.
I don't know how much money I'll need, so I take the majority of it and leave the rest in my satchel. I wait a few minutes so I don't accidentally run into Mr.Ramoz on my way out. He seems like a very grumpy man. Certain he won't make an appearance, I head out of the apartment and soon out of the building. I try to remember the directions of the store.
"He said go straight up the road, pass the stream bridge, but not pass the street with the- with the twisted stop sign."
I admire the scene as I walk. The trees here seem to be, in a way, more vibrantly green and inviting compared to those in the forest surrounding the cabin. Birds seemed to sing here, the skies were actually visible and blue. I enjoyed the difference and am glad I don't have to return to such a dim, depressive scene.
I hear the sound of running water below me and realize I'm crossing the bridge. I look down at the shallow water. The sound of it was very relaxing and the sight of it also added to the experience. Continuing on my way, I spot a small shop with a torn up parking lot up ahead. When I get close I notice it's the store Mr.Ramoz was talking about. Confidence surged in me.
The store is as small as it looks on the outside. But it appears to have what I need and I don't need a big store to buy that. I search and locate the eggs and milk. I should definitely have enough to cover the cost, but I stop as I head over to the counter to checkout. Some cleaning products would be nice. While I decide on what products to get, my mind wanders to the thought of dinner and what in the apartment could I make.
"There is absolutely nothing in that kitchen to make dinner with."
With that thought in mind, I search for some ingredients for dinner. I'll make a pasta dish tonight, maybe baked ziti or lasagna. Once I have the items I need I head up front to the checkout counter. I'm nervous coming up to the front, I've never done this before and I wasn't entirely sure how to do this. The money part was fine, it was the actual communication part which was going to trip me up.
"Did you find everything OK today sir?"
"Uh, I guess."
The man at the counter gave me a look before continuing to check out the items.
"$16.40 is your total."
Quickly handing over the amount I owe, I wait anxiously as he prints out the receipt and returns my change.
"Have a good day sir."
As I'm walking back, my mind is reeling in thought. So far everything my mother has told me is wrong, especially about the people out here. Nobody has been unusually rude or cruel to me. Even Mr.Ramoz didn't seem exactly rude to me, just annoyed and that could be because of something else or how he usually is. I can't believe her tactics of scaring me had worked for so long. But now I knew and there was no taking that away.
Once I was back and finished putting the groceries away, I went to the brick stiff couch and decided to try the TV again. Before I could turn it on, I noticed the dust on the black screen. Just sitting back and relaxing while there was work to be done, just wasn't my thing. Coming from a house where if you didn't clean nobody else would, I learned to do the chores without being told. Strangely, cleaning helped clear my mind of worrisome thoughts and problems. Getting to work, I busy myself with sweeping the floor, throwing trash away, and taking care of the dust. Next I wipe down the counters in the kitchen and bathroom. I hope the smell of lemon doesn't irritate Kindle, but it was the only scent they had that didn't smell putrid. The windows and mirrors were next in the process, followed by the tub being scrubbed. I found a vacuum cleaner still in its box with a sticker that read: To:Kindle From:Jackie. I felt bad for invading her personal items but Kindle seems like the person who would understand. I felt like I'd really stepped over the line when I sorted through the clothes scattered about the floor.
Finally I looked around at my work and feel more comfortable about relaxing. I prepare dinner and put it in the oven before settling down on the couch.
Turing my head, I look over to the keyboard piano positioned at the far end of the room. Like the gravitational pull I felt the fist day, I'm lulled over to the piano and take a seat at the bench. My hands hover over the keys and before I can stop myself, I play a few notes. But they make no noise as I play them and I realize that it's not turned on. Pressing the button on, I wonder if playing on this type of piano would have the same affect as if I played on a grand piano. Not taking the chance, I look at the little screen and fiddle with the dial. I stop when it reads: Classic Piano. It would sound so much like the one I'm use to playing. I bite my lip then set my fingers on the keys- it just feels so natural. Before I can press down the rumble of thunder intersects follow by a bright flash of lighting. The rain slams into the building and can be heard from overhead.
I lean back from the keyboard and crack my knuckles. Shortly after I get up from the bench to check on the food though I already have the timer on.
It's too quiet yet loud at the same time and it makes me uneasy. To distract myself I turn on the TV and begin flipping through the channels endlessly. A thought suddenly pops in my head and I figure out how to get to search. I search up classical music and turn to a channel devoted to playing nothing but classical music. Facts about the composers and song role on the screen.
I hear the sound of locks turning and for a second I think someone might be trying to break in. I freeze in place but relax when I remember that it's only Kindle.
The door is flung open and the anger rolling off Kindle is visible. It's strange seeing her angry, honestly I didn't think she could be. She also is soaking wet and looks like a drowned rat. I'm not sure but it looks like egg yokes dripping off her shirt.
I'm sure she knows what a disaster she looks like so I don't say anything about it. Instead I decide to give her pleasant news.
"I started cooking dinner."
She slams the door a little harder than necessary and I'm sure she would like to hear some good news. She looks around the place and I can tell the anger is starting to fade.
"And I brought some more eggs, they're in the fridge-"
Before I can even finish my sentence Kindle is flying into my arms and crying harder than I've seen anyone cry before. I don't even know what to do. Did I make her upset by telling her about the eggs? I don't know how to comfort anyone in this situation, I've never had before. How did she help me when I was crying?
I decide to hold her as well but that seems to make things worst and she's now crying harder. I think the best thing for me to do now is just to be silent and let her cry. As I hold her, I listen to the clash of thunder and lighting as they play across the sky. After a while she begins to calm down and I can hear her ragged breathing as she tries to compose herself. This must be embarrassing to for her, to come home a mess and cry into the arms of someone you don't know well. It doesn't bother me though, she did the same for me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset." I apologized.
She looks up at me with tears streaming down her face. "Oh no. Miles it wasn't you. This- this day has just been so crappy and you've been the only thing and person that has been kind to me today. Are you an angel?"
I smile and shake my head. "I'm no angel." In fact I'm far from it.
Sniffing, she gave me a weak smile in return. "I probably look mess, don't I?"
"We can't look good all the time." I heard the timer in the kitchen go off. "Why don't you wash up and I'll get dinner ready, then we can talk about it on the couch. If you want that is?"
"Yeah that be nice." She nods her head enthusiastically. "I'll be right back."
Before she heads off she looks back at me. "Miles?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you." With that she escapes to her room.
I stand there in wonder before going to the kitchen. I don't believe in the 18 years I've been alive that anyone has ever once told me 'thank you' until now.
*****
Kindle retells her whole day from the moment she left the apartment.
She grips a pillow and holds it close to her chest. "I just wish I didn't leave the house today. I want this whole day to just go away."
"Well tomorrow's another day." I prompt.
"Yeah." She sighs and pokes at her lasagna. "Who taught you to cook? You're really good at it."
"Taught myself."
"Wow, you're really impressive, you know that?
I can feel the heat rising to my ears. "Not that much."
"Yeah you are. Mom tried to teach me to cook, but now all I know how to cook is a grilled cheese sandwich. But that's really all I need right?" Her bright smile returns to her face.
I suddenly remembered something. "Oh yeah, a man came by here today after you left. He said you hadn't paid your rent yet, something about it being one day late. Mr.Ramoz was his name."
She groans and hits herself with the pillow. "Ugh... I completely forgot. I had it saved aside and everything. My dad would be shaking his head at me right now. Did he scare you, Mr.Ramoz?"
I rub the back of my neck. "Uh... a little but I was asking a lot of him."
She smiles. "Yeah, Mr.Ramoz is scary but he's a good man, just a little grumpy at times."
"You have a brother?" I ask. When she gives me a questioning look as if to ask how I knew, I quickly explained. "Mr.Ramoz told me. He thought I was your brother but he said you only have one."
"Oh yeah, my brother Roy. He's older than me but he still lives with my mom and dad." Her face lights up as she adds, "You should meet them sometime. My dad would be interested in you, I can't say the same for my mom. She kinda has a problem with strangers but she'll grow on you."
"I would like that."
She looks like she's about to say something else but decides against it. We sit in silence for a little while before she breaks the silence.
"So how well do you play the violin?"
"Hm?"
"How well do you play the violin? I saw you had one. Is it yours?"
My stomach dropped. "Uh, yeah."
I didn't think it possible, but she brightened even more.
"Do you play any other instruments?"
"Yes, the piano and the harp."
She looks impressed. "You play the harp!? I've never known someone who can play the harp. It's such a beautiful instrument. "
"It's not my strongest instrument but it is the most beautiful instrument to play. It's very peaceful."
"What's your favorite instrument to play?"
I felt so energized talking about my music but at the same time I felt uneasy and nervous.
"My violin. I love my other instruments, I love their unique sounds and the feelings I get when I play them, but I treasure my violin."
"Sounds like you're passionate with your music." She adds quietly. "Does it mind if I can hear you play?"
Every bone in my body screamed in protest, but looking at Kindle's pleading eyes and knowing what an awful day she had, pulled me over to where my instrument rested.
It felt like ages since I've held my violin and the feeling was so reassuring, so familiar I wondered why I ever put it down in the first place.
I debated what to play for her and jumped between decisions until I knew the perfect one. The bow rested uneasy on the string and my eyes wandered to the door. "If I play it fast enough, no one will be able to detect it." As my heart thundered in my chest, I played the first notes of the song.
I composed the piece myself. It was titled 'Beautiful Demons'. The song told a story of a child with a dark secret. If the child told the secret to anyone, they would die a slow painful death. But the only thing was the child was controlled by a demon who would overtake the child and force them to tell the secret to someone. As hard as the child tries to control the demon inside, he can't. Everything he cares about is ripped away. The child devises a plan to rid the demon from himself and the world. But the demon is part of him and when the plan works the child is also killed in the process and now has to spend the rest of his life doing to another child what the demon did to him. As sad as the story is, it always makes me feel somewhat comforted.
The last note always rings out the longest and always sounds hollow. When I look at Kindle she appears to be in deep thought.
"Kindle?"
"That sound. It's so familiar. I know that sound." She looks up at me and I give her a concerned look.
"You ok?"
"What song was that?"
"'Beautiful Demons' I made it myself."
"You made it? So nobody else knows how to play that song but you?"
Her questions made no sense. "I guess."
Her face finally lit up. "A dream, my dream! That's where I heard it before."
"A dream? You heard my song in your dream? How?"
Instead of answering me she seems to go into a flashback of her dream. "It was so... beautiful. I've never been in such a dream before in my life. It felt so surreal. I saw- I saw." Kindle's face of awe gives away to a pain look of grief. "I was so terrified. I couldn't- I couldn't save him, I tried so hard and I couldn't save him. It was too powerful, the feeling-"
She soon breaks down again and I hurry over to her.
"It's OK, Kindle, it was just a dream." But I know how real a dream can be. I walk her over to her room.
She calms down quicker this time and she looks at me embarrassed. "I've been a mess today."
I smile at her. "I was a mess yesterday, you can be a mess today and tomorrow we'll both be fine."
"You are an angel." She says sleepily and gives me a smile.
I leave her room and head into the bathroom. I'm still a mess from when she can home soaking wet and egged and when she hugged me. Afterwards, I clean up the kitchen and turn everything off for the night. The rain is the only thing remaining from the storm. I double check the door and pause to listen to the noise outside the door. I wondered if anybody heard the music playing.
Once I'm finished shutting everthing down, I settle on the brick stiff couch. I wonder how Kindle heard that song before. I've never played it for anyone, or at least anyone still alive. But another thought pulled at my mind as I closed my eyes.
I understood why nobody else was attracted to the music, I played too fast for anyone out of the apartment to be lulled. I knew when people were under the influence of the music that played, they had a certain look in their eyes. I saw that look every time I lulled in a victim, everybody had it.
Then why...why hadn't Kindle had that look?