I hurry to pack my belongings into my satchel as I mentally plan my escape. 

"Mother will probably go to bed at 9 or near 10. After her light goes out I'll sneak out the window and try to find the nearest road from here." I don't know what else to pack for the "real world" except clothes and a toothbrush. I'll have to travel light though due to limited space.

As I pack I try to focus on the things ahead of me and not the negative what ifs. I feel excited and sick at the same time but doesn't scare me, it just excites me more. I've never felt this kind of hopeful, terrified feeling before and it already feels like I'm starting over.

Once I filled my satchel, I look around the room evaluating everything. This is the room I grew up in, the room that I hid in and fled to when I needed to be alone, this the room where I would cry myself to sleep sometimes and other times fall asleep to a good book. I don't know if I'll miss it or anything in this house or the memories it holds, but I know it will be here if I ever return. Probably the same way I'm leaving it now- no doubt.

I turn my attention to my bed where Sherbet sits in his regular post. A smile still permanently on his face. Even through dirt and tears and age, he still manages to keep a small but constant smile on his face. I pick the sheep up and examine him in my hands. He, like my books, are staying behind with this old life. The only book I'm taking is The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, a book from my father- the father I never knew.

"Well, this is it. I have nothing to lose or gain." I say this more to myself as reassurance that I could do this. I glance at the clock. 9:45 it reads. I listen carefully for any noise coming from downstairs, when I hear none, I exhale and head for my bedroom window.

I struggle a little trying to get it open without it making any loud scraping noises since it's not used to being open much. After that's up, I carefully cut the screen and drop my satchel to the ground. I'm grateful this cabin isn't a two-story house. Taking one last glance at my past, I step my foot through the window, but then stop as I realize something. Crawling back through the window I follow Sherbet's graze to the dark corner of my room. Propped against the corner is my violin. It stares at me with such intensity, I look away. When I begin to reach for it I stop myself with another sudden thought to distract myself from it. In the real world they use money, money I don't have.

I sit stumped on how I could obtain money when my mind travels to the jar in the secret safe where my mother hides her money. I could take that. Suddenly, I feel guilty for thinking such thoughts, I'm not a thief like she is, I won't take anything from anyone unfairly. But glancing at the clock and the open window begins to quicken my thoughts towards freedom and how close I already am. I sigh. I'll have to be stealthy and quick if I want to make my time limit.

Cracking my door open slightly, I listen once again for sounds of movement downstairs. After another round of silence, I cautiously emerge from my room and creep across the living room toward the unused second bedroom on the other side. I'm careful not to step on the boards that squeak too loudly or the ones with the hollow groans. Halfway through, a cold sweat breaks out across my back and on my forehead. The creaks seem harder to avoid the closer I get to my destination and I can't even fathom the walk back. By before I know it, I'm standing in the threshold or the door.

I'm quicker get across the room to the hidden panel behind the bed. As I peel back the wallpaper I try to ignore the guilty feeling in my heart and concentrate on remembering the combination. 

"Was it 33-29-12 or 33-39-22?" Carefully considering my options I dial the first combination I thought of and with success open the vault.

Reaching inside, I pull out a jar with neatly organize money. A small spider also clings to the glass jar and dashes across my hand. I only cringe slightly for a second, before crushing it under my thumb. "Hopefully I won't be seeing too many of those anymore."

Fleeing the room, I take my cautious voyage back to my room, a little more reckless than the first time. I could almost feel the fresh air in my lungs. Once safely behind my door, I scurry to the window and am about to exit when once again I'm paused.

The lone violin sits in the corner and beckons me like a beacon of light. "No, this isn't what you want. You want a new beginning, this is why you're leaving." My heart is at war with itself as I debate whether I should bring it or not. On one hand it brings me such comfort and clear thought, but at the same time it is the deadly weapon that has caused so many deaths. I wonder how something so beautiful and heavenly could cause so much destruction.

I realize after awhile, that I'm gripping the neck of the instrument till my knuckles have turned white. I don't loosen my grip though and after a little longer just standing there, my hand begins to feel sore and I'm wasting time. "I need this. I can't- I won't- live without it." As much as this instrument causes me pain, it also brings me the only joy and happiness in my life that I've ever known. This is part of me and I'm part of it. My fingers were meant to play it. If I leave this it means nothing that I'm starting over, I won't have anything familiar to me. Finally, without another thought, I take the bow and violin with me out the window.

The forest is dark but it doesn't scare me- it only gives me the courage to press on. My first step is just to get as far away from the cabin as possible before morning comes.

I'm thoughts race as I wonder what's beyond the forest, I've never seen any other type of terrain but this. I wonder if there's even anything but forest. But I can feel there's more than this.

Different sounds emit from every direction and some are more frightening than others. I only look back to see how far way I am from the cabin but soon I can't see it. Terror grips me for a few seconds when I realize I've never been so far away from the cabin before, but I shake it off and begin to pick up the pace to a brisk jog.

The second step to my plan is to find a road and walk that to the nearest town. But as I continue I grow desperate and begin to question whether my forest-never-ending idea was legit. I feel as though I've been jogging forever. It's like I'm in a dream but I don't know if it's a daydream or a nightmare. "Ugh... I've should've brought a compass. I feel like I've been walking in a circle!"

A small section in my mind was telling me that my mother was right; that I was too young to understand anything about the real world. I could hear her disapproving voice in the back of my mind. Everything in me was telling me to go back, to just turn around and forget about this childish behavior. But my heart kept urging me on. I didn't want to go back, I didn't want to go back to that idea that was a life.

Just then my feet step on something that doesn't feel familiar, something more even then the forest floor. Pavement.

My heart gives a small leap in my chest. I found it! Now all I have to do is travel down it till I get to some sort of civilization. More determined, now that I know what's ahead, I continue on my way. 

I walk for a little ways before I hear something loud approaching behind me. A white rig truck pulls up and stops behind me. I'm not sure what to do in this instance so I just keep walking until the driver honks at me. I cautiously approach the passenger side of the truck. The driver roles down the window.

"Need a ride?"

I stand there stupidly, forgetting how to speak before I answer back timidly. "Uh, no, thank you. I can walk."

"You sure? The next town is 'bout 22 miles from here. I could drop you off there when I pass by it, it's along the way I'm headin'."

In all honesty, my feet were killing me and if I wanted to be sure I was far away from my mother, this was the fastest way. Deciding to trust the man, I agree and climb in. This is the first time I've ever been in a vehicle before. It was a weird feeling, especially when we drove.

The man was bulky and though he was sitting I could tell he was a little on the short side. Even in the dark, I could still tell his face was a beet red like he was sweating.

"Name's Wilbert Bushel."

"Miles Silas," I reply quietly.

"Well, Miles, I could drop you off at the town ahead, Forrester Ridge, or I could drop you off at the town slightly father than that, Belle Grove."

"Belle Grove, please," I answered quickly. The father away from my mother, the better. I was taking no chances with this new found freedom.

"Okay."

I was grateful he didn't ask about what I was doing on the road so late at night.

We drove in silence for a few minutes, me looking around at the sights until I couldn't keep my eyes open much longer. Finally, I fell asleep listening to the hum of the engine and collage of greens out the window. My mind was at peace and I was planning my next step. Now it didn't feel like a dream, it was finally reality.