"That was a long time ago," I find myself saying in response to seeing the picture of me as a stripper on this strange man's phone. It doesn't matter that he's a stranger to me though because he's friends with Hudson's parents. The thought of Hudson's family knowing about that part of my past makes me want to vomit. "That's not who I am anymore."

"Really?" He scoffs at me. "This was taken only a year ago."

"I've changed since then," I explain to him, hoping desperately that he won't tell Hudson's parents. What would they think of me if they found out? What about the world when this guy leaks the pictures to the mediar and find out that Hudson Gray is dating a stripper? And... oh god... what about my family?

"That doesn't matter to me, sweetie," The man steps a little closer to me but I step back, hitting the wall with my back. Like before, the plaster is cold on my bare back. "I think you're still that little slut. Inside anyway, you can't change yourself that fast."

He pushes himself against me and I try to push him away but he's very tall and strong and I start panicking. He can't do anything to me right here in the hallway, only a living room away from a plethora of people, right? Does he think that he can blackmail me into doing something with him? I don't want anybody to find out about my stripper past but I'm not willing to go that far to protect my secret so he's going to be very disappointed.

"So we're going to have a little fun," He decides and it feels like it's happening in slow motion as he starts to bring his hand up to my chest. The thought of this creep groping me gives me enough fight to push him off of me so I do that and he stumbles back. I wiggle free and start speed walking through the living room back into the dining room.

I can't sit in that room though, knowing that this strange man can email that picture to everyone at that table if he wants to. I just want to be around people for a moment so that if he follows me, he obviously won't be able to try and attack me again.

I approach Hudson and put a hand on his shoulder before I lean down so that when I whisper, only he can hear me. "I need to talk to you outside for a minute please."

I think that he can tell that something is wrong because the hand on his shoulder is trembling and I'm trying the best that I can to not cry. I know that I'll break and that I will start crying soon, I just want to get out of this dining room before doing so. I'll cry in front of Hudson but not this whole crowd of strangers.

"Is everything alright?" Amelina asks, also noticing that I'm not as chipper as I was prior to going to the bathroom.

I nod at her in an attempt to ease her worry but I know that it isn't convincing. I don't know what to say to her so I just turn and leave the dining room. Hudson follows.

I want some fresh air so I head for the front door and once we're both outside, I sit down on the cold cement steps of the front porch.

"What's going on?" Hudson asks, standing behind me as he puts a hand on my shoulder. "What happened?"

I don't speak because my mind is whirling with a new realization. That man has a picture of me working as a stripper and that means that obviously, many people who had visited that strip club in the few months that I worked there have pictures of me in the background. And when my relationship with Hudson goes public, some of those people will come forward with those pictures and then they'll get blasted with headlines like "Hudson Gray dating a stripper?"

Not only will his reputation be jeopardized but if those pictures go public, my family will see them. My parents, Kurt, it would kill all of them. It would absolutely kill them. I can't even imagine the guilt that Kurt would feel if he knew that I became a stripper to pay his medical bills. Or what my father would think when he realized that because he was following his dream, his daughter had to give up her body.

"Iris, you're really starting to freak me out here," Hudson says when I don't respond.

"The guy that sat next to me knows that I worked at the White Rose," I finally explain to Hudson. My voice is shaking and there's tears falling from my cheeks now. My shoulders are shaking because everything inside of me is shaking. I'm coming to the realization that it's either Hudson or my family right now.

"How?"

"He had pictures," I sniffle. "I was in the background of some bachelor party picture that he has."

"Oh. Well, hey, if you're afraid of him telling my parents, don't worry about it. He probably won't but even if he does, they'll understand. They're very progressive people and they're also very understanding. It'll be okay."

"That's not the point," I mutter. He sits beside me on the steps and wraps his arm around my back. With my knees pressed against my chest, I'm folded into myself as much as possible as I start to really cry. "The point is that there are probably hundreds of pictures of me like that out there."

"You think that once we go public, you'll get blasted?" He follows my train of thought.

"My parents will find out," I tell him. "Kurt. Oh god, I can't let that happen, Hudson. They'd hate me. They'd absolutely fucking hate me."

"We'll figure something out," He assures me.

"Like what?" I wonder though my hysteria, full out sobbing now.

"I... I don't know," Hudson mumbles. "But there has to be something that we can do."

"There's nothing," I shake my head. "Once the paparazzi find out that we're dating, everything is over. My family will fall apart if they find out about what I used to do. Everything will fall apart."

He leans closer to me but I don't lean back. I want there to be something else, some solution to this problem but I can't think of anything. Pay off all of the people who have pictures of me or have some other proof that I used to be a stripper? Yeah right. Hide our relationship from the public forever? Fat chance.

"You think that we need to break up," Hudson says it in a quiet voice of realization. "Babe, we just got this thing going. And it's going really awesome, we can't just give up like this."

"If we break up now, the media will never find out and then my face will stay out of the spotlight. It's not like we can hide our relationship from them forever," I starting to cry harder now because I really thought that this was going to work. I don't know how I could have fooled myself so terribly because this has always been how this was going to end. I wish that I would have realized this terrible obstacle earlier though, because it would have saved us both so much pain.

And this hurts to bad.

"There has to be another way," Hudson says with a shake of his head.

"Like what?" I ask him again. "Hudson, I want there to be something else. I want it so bad but there's nothing. I mean, I knew that if they watched the movie, they might recognize me in the strip club scene during the lap dance but I was prepared to tell them that it either wasn't me or that they just demanded that I do it. I had excuses lined up. But this... I can't make excuses for this."

"No, this can't happen," He mutters and I don't know if he's talking to me or to himself now. "How did we not think of this earlier?"

"I don't know," I hiccup from all of the crying. "Maybe we just didn't want to believe it. And I wish that there was some other way. I really do. But there isn't. It's either you or Kurt. And I'm so sorry but I-"

"I know," He states. "Iris, I know. You don't have to explain why you'd choose your brother and your family over me, okay? I get it. I just... no. No, there's got to be something else, a solution to this that we aren't thinking of. I'll get my entire publicity agency on the case and we'll figure something out."

"This isn't as easy as that," I say through an ugly sob. "I know that in the movies, people break up because they stopped liking each other, or maybe one of them dies or something. But real life isn't that simple. Sometimes, it's nobody's fault. I really like you, Hudson. It took me forever to get over myself and to really let myself like you and... this all sucks, but it's real life. And there's nothing that we can do about it."

"Sometimes, it is that easy though. I'm falling in love with you, things can't just end like this. Not now," He shakes his head in disbelief.

"We've only been on three dates," I sniffle, calming down just a little bit now after all of the crying.

"Come on, Iris," He sighs. "I know that not everything is romanticized in life, but this is. We are. We're fucking awesome together and yeah, sure it's three dates—four including tonight but my parents are here so I won't count it—but you know that it's something serious. If you weren't falling for me too, you wouldn't be crying so much right now."

"Maybe it's a good thing that we're ending it now, before we've actually fallen," I suggest pathetically but really, who am I kidding? I've already fallen for him, whether I'm willing to admit it or not, and this is going to hurt like hell. But I just keep imagining Kurt's face when he finds out what I did to pay for his bills and how much guilt he'd be hit with. I can't do that to him. Not after everything that he's been through. He's about to get released from Michael Hopkins but how would this realization affect his stability?

It could push him into a schizophrenic break, he'd have to stay at Michael Hopkins for god-knows-how-long. But right now, he could be home within the month.

"It's too late for that," Hudson mumbles, stating exactly what I'm thinking. "But let me just propose this plan. I know that you want to break up right now and I understand that that's what you think needs to happen but I promise that I'll find a way around this. So we won't break up because I feel like by saying that we're broken up, we're saying that there's no more feelings between us and that's not true. We'll separate like a grumpy middle-aged couple until I can find a solution to this. I promise that I can, as long as you promise to not forget about us. And when I do find the solution, I'll find you and we'll really do this thing. The right way."

"That's too optimistic," I hiccup as I wipe the tears from my sticky red cheeks.

"Optimism is all that I have right now," He tells me, his own voice fluctuating a little bit and I wonder if he's trying not to cry himself. "I can't lose you, Iris. You're the only person that I've ever felt like this with. And I don't think that you get that twice in a lifetime. I just... I can't lose you."

I almost start crying again but luckily, I refrain. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," He mutters, pulling me out of my ball and into his chest. It is pretty much all my fault though. I worked as a stripper, I am the one doing this to him because I can't face my family. This is all my fault and I kind of wish that he'd yell at me and that we would fight so that this wouldn't be so hard. But he's so kind and understanding and with every word that comes out of his pretty mouth, I break a little more.

I know that romance isn't easy and before Hudson, I didn't even think that it was real, but I knew that I was willing to find a way to make it work with Hudson. It wouldn't be easy but it'd be possible. I never realized what would be in jeopardy though, just for trying to follow my heart.

This would all be easier if one of us fell out of love or if it was an argument between Hudson and I but it's not. There's nothing wrong with us, we're perfect. And yet, this is still happening and it shouldn't be. This shouldn't have to happen.

"If we were two normal people—you weren't a celebrity, I never turned to stripping—we would be so happy," I tell him as I lean into his chest, knowing full well that this could very well be the last time that we ever hug. I know that Hudson thinks that there's a solution to this other than breaking up but I don't think that there is. I just don't. But if he wants his optimism to keep him afloat, I'll give it to him because it's the least that I can do. Me, though, I'm already sinking.

"We would be the best," Hudson agrees with me. "We'd... fucking eat cupcakes and I'd buy you flowers and... I'd really knock your socks off."

"You already have," I assure him. I know that I should stand up and walk away now because sitting here, talking about all of the what-ifs is just going to make this harder but I can't get myself to stand up because of what I just said—this could be the last time that we ever hug, ever talk, ever meet again. He's probably going to be my one that got away. And oh my god, it hurts more than I could ever imagine.

I let myself believe in him, and I should because he's an amazing guy. I let myself fall for him (because yeah, he's right, I'm falling in love with him) and it was so hard to convince myself to do that and look now—look where it's gotten us. Sitting on his parents' front porch, hugging each other but knowing that it'll be the last time in the foreseeable future that this will happen.

"Why do you want cupcakes?" I say after a long silence.

"I don't know, couples do that, don't they?" He wonders and it sounds like a funny comment, something that should be said while laughing and yet, there is no laughter, not even a scent of humor in his voice.

Just as I'm about to respond, the front door opens and I don't really move but Hudson turns around to see who it is.

"Hey, what's taking so long?" It's Rebecca's voice and I can tell by how slow she's talking that she's concerned. "Mom is wondering, they're bringing out dessert."

"Iris isn't feeling well," He tells her. "Tell Mom that we'll be in in a second."

"Physically, like she's sick?" She wonders curiously. "Iris, if you're not feeling well, we have some aspirin in the medicine cabinet. Or if it's a lady thing, I have some life changing cramp killers."

There's a silence because she's waiting for me to respond but I can't find the words to say.

"Oh wait..." She trails off. "No, something else is going on here. What's happening?"

"It's nothing," Hudson tells his sister. "Go back inside."

"But-"

"Rebecca," He snaps at his sister.

"Oh god. You're pregnant, aren't you?" She wonders from behind us. "Holy shit."

"Rebecca, shut up," Hudson snaps again, his voice growing louder but not yelling. "She's not pregnant. Go inside."

"Okay," She sighs, sounding disappointed and I don't know if she's disappointed that I'm not pregnant or that she isn't able to find out the truth about the situation but either way, it sounds like she's relenting. "Let me know if there's anything that I can do to help."

And then the door closes again so I assume that she went back inside. Realizing that if at least one of us doesn't go back in there soon, somebody else will come looking for us, I pull away from Hudson. Obviously, I'm not returning to the party so I stand up and Hudson follows suit.

"I'm going to go home," I tell him. "But Hudson, I'm really sorry about all of this. I wish that things were different."

"I know," He sighs.

"But we're just separated," I add in hopes of making him feel any better about this terrible situation. "So if you can find something, I'll be here. I'll always be here."

He leans down and kisses me—possibly our last kiss ever—and knowing that, I kiss him back and it's a rough, passionate kiss. It's like we're in a room filling with water. We're floating with our faces to the ceiling and this kiss is our one last breath of air before the water fills to the ceiling and starts to drown us.

Eventually though, one of us pulls away. I'm not sure who.

And then, without any more words to be said, Hudson looks at me for a moment before he walks back inside of the house. I'm going to cry again, I can feel it, but my only hope is that I can make it back to my house before that happens.