Jay's POV

To put it simply, I feel like I've been eaten, thrown up, then eaten again at least twenty times. I didn't think it could get much worse than knowing that another man had a spot in Nya's heart. That was until I saw her kissing Shade.

I've felt sick ever since. My chest is all coiled up like a spring, and my throat is so tight that I can barely breathe. My head has a hammer slamming on the insides of my skull, and in regards to my stomach, I've thrown up twice already.

I knew that I couldn't go to that meeting and look at the two of them next to each other, so as soon as I got back, I jumped in the shower (nearly scalding my back with the burning water), slipped on some boxers and a robe, and begged Cole to go instead of me. Even though Seliel and him were all cuddled up together, which for the record I did feel bad interrupting, he said that they'd go, and Seliel actually got quite excited about it. Knowing that my seat was filled, I went back to my room and plopped myself down at my laptop.

I've been looking at past research I've done on vengestone and how it impacts elemental masters in the long run. I figured that reviewing it could be my way to help, but my eyes won't read any of the words. I can only think about her and Shade and how they were swapping spit. I knew that they'd kissed before. Heck, I knew that they'd done a lot more than kiss before, but in a way, it wasn't real to me. I never saw it, and it happened when Nya didn't know that I existed, so I couldn't blame her. It wasn't like she was trying to hurt me if she thought I was gone.

But tonight? How could she kiss someone else in front of me and not know it would hurt me? Was that what she was trying to do? If it was, she succeeded. As if it wasn't enough that Aria is still around.

I freeze up at the name, and I have to focus on relaxing my muscles and banishing her from my mind. I shouldn't worry about her. They've surely found a way to deal with her at the meeting already, and after that, she'll be none of my problems.

I can't help but take responsibility for everything that has happened. I was the one who gave Aria a chance, that sliver of hope that we were meant to be. If I had never tolerated the idea, if I had never tolerated her, we would not be here right now. I should have just never given her the time of day.

I pinch the bridge of my nose before I try to go back to analyzing this new tax proposal. The words blur together before my eyes, and I run a hand through my moist hair as I let out a long sigh. Maybe sleeping will be better for me than this.

I barely hear the knock on the door, too focused on my other senses to pay attention to it. "Come in," I grumble, not having the brain power to think of an excuse as to why I'd be keeping someone out.

"Cole told me that you weren't feeling well and that you didn't eat dinner, so I brought this for you," her voice makes my head snap up. Nya, clad in a pair of gray sweatpants that hang on her body in a way that makes them look suspiciously like mine and a red tank top, walks into my room with a bowl in her hand. She shuts the door behind her with her foot and sets it on my desk.

My heart beats out of my chest as I look between her and the soup. "Uh... thanks," I say before letting out an awkward cough.

"I was worried when you didn't show up to the meeting," she tells me, and I just nod, pretending like whatever I have on my computer requires all of my attention. Looking at her can only make things worse right now.

"Is it Aria that's bothering you? We haven't exactly made up a plan yet, the meeting was more chaotic than anything, but I'll let you know that we're going to work very hard to take her down. She won't hurt you again," she places a hand on my shoulder, and I have to take a deep breath in and out.

"I'm glad."

"I've never seen you talk this little. She really...wow. Is there anything I can do to help now?" she asks, squeezing my shoulder as her voice gets a tiny bit weaker.

My eyes snap up at her in disbelief. Nya's one of the smartest people I know, so how could she be this clueless? Yes, I'm pretty traumatized by my experience with Aria, but that's not what is tearing my heart apart. When I look at her face, she's scanning over my own with drawn eyebrows, both confusion and concern shining through.

She takes her free hand and brings it to my scalp, slowly running her fingers through my slightly damp hair. For a moment, I give in and let my body relax. My muscles loosen a bit, and I recline back in my seat as I close my eyes.

I can let myself pretend. I can let myself pretend for one beautiful moment that she is mine and only mine. As I let out a sigh, I banish everything as far back in my brain as possible and just let it be the two of us here. I just enjoy the gentle tug on my hair and the companionship that comes with it.

When her body weight moves onto my lap and her hand that was on my shoulder moves to the part of my chest that isn't covered by my robe, I let out a little gasp and open my eyes. Nya's bright eyes send a spark through my entire body as they're matched with a gorgeous smile on her face. She continues to play with my hair with a cute little grin which numbs my mind and dulls my senses. I forget about everything that isn't right in front of me at this very moment.

She slowly leans forward, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against mine. Our breaths mingle together, and at this distance, I can smell the lingering fresh, rainy scent of her shampoo. It makes my heart pound, and as she removes her hand from my hair and places it next to the other that's resting on my chest, it only accelerates. She gradually moves them to the side, her calloused hands gliding across the muscles of my chest before she cups my shoulders and gives them a small squeeze.

With her skin against mine, I'm a whole new person. Not only is there a calmness to it, but there's also a buzz that touches every part of me. It's absolutely intoxicating, and I know that it would be impossible to get enough of it.

When her lips press up against mine, I can't help but kiss her back. It's as if I need this to survive. Our lips combine with one another in slow, deliberate motions that match the pacing of our hands. As she kneads and massages my shoulders, my hands inch up her legs and hips, leaving some firm squeezes along the way until I reach the small of her back. Once I'm there, I pull her frame closer to me before shifting a hand back to her upper thigh.

She deliberately pushes the robe off of my torso, making my skin hit the cold air in the room. After gripping onto my shoulders one last time, she steadily moves her hands back to my chest, leaving an exhilarating warmth in her wake. As she trails her hands further down my chest and to my abs, she rolls her hips against mine, turning my entire existence into a blur. I let out a groan and dig my fingers into the soft yet firm muscles of her upper thigh. With my lips parted, she takes this as her opportunity to slip her tongue inside of them.

I need this woman. I need her in every single way. I need her body pressed up against mine as if we're one. I need her lips on me. I need her attention, and her affection, and her adoration. I need her love.

Her love.

Those two words bring me back to reality. I pull back from the kiss and push her hands away from my lower abs, shaking my head at myself. "Please get off of me."

"Jay, what's wrong?" she places her hands on my shoulders again and stares at me with a crease between her eyebrows.

"Just please get off," I take in a deep breath as I look past her.

"Jay Walker, tell me what's wrong," she crosses her arms, and I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Do you really not know what's wrong, Nya?" I force myself to say it with a flat tone even though all of my emotions are battling each other for a spot front and center.

"If I knew what was wrong, I wouldn't be asking you now, would I?" she snaps, and something about her shortness kills the little bit of patience I had.

I scoff, standing up and in the process forcing her to get up. I pull back on my robe with incredible speed before looking in the eyes and saying,"You kissed another guy right in front of my face, Nya."

Her entire face goes slack at my comment. "That's what this is all about? You literally told me today that you'd support me in whatever I did about that situation. I thought that you'd understand since he'd been locked away for so long."

"I thought it went without saying that what you did isn't something that anyone should do. It's just cruel!" I throw my hands up in the air.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you. I'm just confused and trying to figure things out," she crosses her arms and shifts her weight onto her right hip.

"How could it have not hurt me especially after I found out that my psycho ex was back? I could have used some compassion, but instead I had to see my soulmate sticking her tongue down another man's throat," I shake my head.

She rolls her eyes. "You're exaggerating. What just happened between us right now was way more intense than what happened in the tunnels."

My stomach churns at her words. "I don't even want to compa...oh my god." I feel my gag reflex trigger, the muscles in my digestive tract contracting, so I turn away and take a few breaths in and out.

"Jay..." her hand lands on my shoulder. I jerk away, spinning my body so she isn't touching me.

"Don't touch me," I face the opposite direction of her. "Ever since I saw you kiss him, it's all that I've been able to see. Every time that I see you hold onto him so, so tightly and kiss him with a smile on your face, I fall apart. It made your relationship with him way too real for me." My tears pool up in my eyes, but I don't let any of them fall.

"My relationship with you is real, too," she says, but her words only make me bunch up my fists.

"Is it though? Is that why you completely ignored me as soon as you saw Shade? Do you know how hard it was to pretend like I didn't care, to pretend like I wasn't breaking inside when I saw that he was holding your hand? I did it out of care and respect for you and your decisions, but maybe I shouldn't have because clearly you don't care about and respect me," I start to pace back and forth in the tight space, needing an outlet to release some of this energy.

A deep frown is set upon her lips. "You know that I care about you and respect you," she says softly as she reaches out to me again, this time trying to grab my hand as I walk. I stop in front of her, but I don't grab her hand. I just stare at it.

"No you don't. If you did, you wouldn't have kissed him in front of me, and even if you did mess up, you would have at least apologized by this point. Please just leave my room. I can't be with you right now," I turn around to sit in my chair and continue looking over my research, but she sidesteps and blocks my path.

"Please let me stay with you. We can talk this out," she looks at me with big, desperate brown eyes that pierce through my heart. Oh, I want her to stay. I want her to stay and lie in my arms so that we can pretend that nothing is wrong, but something is wrong, and her staying will only make things worse.

"No we can't, not now. Just go."

"I'm not leaving here on a bad note," she huffs.

"We both know exactly what's going to happen if you stay. I'm going to cave in and give up on my point because you're stubborn, and I'm a pushover. Then, you're going to just spend the night here, and we'll have sex and fall asleep in each other's arms, and then we'll wake up, and you'll rush out of here to go find Shade. I'm then going to have to spend the rest of the day pretending like I don't even know or care about you even though I've fallen in love with you all over again all while you spend your time kissing and flirting with another man," I shake as the words fly out of my mouth, everything that I know is going to happen spewing out of me like earlier today with all of the food that I had eaten.

Nya just stares at me with watery eyes and her lips slightly parted. "You love me? Not just the version that you used to know, but this me?"

My mouth opens, but no words come out. Panic paralyzes me. By no means did I mean to let that slip, and now, I have no idea what to say. How could I have not fallen for her again? I thought that the Nya that I proposed to 471 years ago was the perfect woman for me. I was wrong.

This Nya is the perfect woman for me. She still has everything that I loved back then, but now, there's even more. I knew she was determined before, but now, she's absolutely unstoppable. When she gets her mind set on something, she will go for it and not quit until she gets it. She picked the most insurmountable task possible, tackled it head on, and destroyed it.

On top of that, her skills in battle are unlike anything that I've seen before. I've watched her intimidate a group of unnatural elementals and trick them into handing over their captives. I've also watched her obliterate waves of enemies coming at her, and I can think of very few things that are as sexy as that.

The door flies open, immediately drawing my attention, and I thank the First Spinjitzu Master when I see my best friend standing in the doorway with a bowl of rice and a banana. "Hey Jay, I...woah, sorry, am I interrupting something?" His eyes flicker between the two of us.

"Nope, not at all. Nya was just leaving," I give him a fake smile, and with her back facing him, Nya glares right at me.

"You can't just say that you love me and expect me to leave," she crosses her arms as she whispers.

"I can just come get you later..." Cole offers, still trying to figure out what is going on.

"No, I'll just go with you. I wanted to check up on Kai and Skylor anyways. Do you know if she's awake yet?" I say, trying to squeeze past Nya so that I can get over to my desk and shut my computer.

"I have no idea. I think Harumi passed on that I was here to him, but we haven't actually talked," Cole explains, shifting his weight from side to side. I close the lid to my computer and try to make my way to the door.

"Yeah, I..." I start to move, but Nya cuts me off and gets a firm hold on one of my wrists.

She looks like she's about to explode, her jaw muscles flexing on the sides of her face from clenching so hard. "Jay, I..." some of the tension in her face melts away as our eyes meet. She lessens the volume of her voice, but it still keeps the same firmness. "I would never want to hurt you. You mean far too much to me for that to ever be my goal. While I think it's extremely childish to walk out in the middle of an argument, I don't want you thinking for another second that I don't care about you because that couldn't be farther from the truth." She pauses and watches me comprehend her words. "You know that I care about you, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good. We're finishing this talk tomorrow," she lets go of my wrists, leaving it cold by comparison, and smooths out her clothes. Even though she stands up straight and keeps a calm demeanor, I can see the frustration and distress in her watery eyes and tight lips.

I sigh, my anger breaking, and I pull her into my arms, wrapping her in a tight hug and resting my head on top of hers. I just can't stand seeing her upset.

"Thank you for the soup. It was very thoughtful of you," I say almost inaudibly quietly as her hands bunch up the back of my robe.

"Of course. I just wanted you to be okay," she whispers back. I pull away after a few more seconds, but my hands stay resting at her waist.

"I appreciate that."

Nya looks up at me with glistening eyes, and I can feel the pain in between us. Neither of us like the situation that we're in.

Please just say that you're sorry and promise not to do it again. That's all that I want right now.

Instead of an apology, she moves onto her tiptoes, leaning upwards to connect our lips. Aware of my best friend's eyes on us, when I feel her breath against my lips, I turn my head. Her lips hit my cheek for a quick peck.

I can't kiss her in front of Cole right now. I'm already going through it, and it would be absolutely mortifying if my best friend watched me kiss a girl and then saw her kissing another guy the next day.

Neither of us say a word as we completely pull apart, and Nya exits the room swiftly, not saying anything to Cole as she turns down the hall and leaves. I let out a sigh, closing my eyes and tugging on my hair.

"You're going through it tonight," Cole says, and as I open my eyes, I see him leaning on my doorframe.

"Tell me about it," I rub my eyes as I talk.

"Do you need to vent?"

"No thanks. I...I just need to turn the whole romantic section of my brain off for a bit. We should go check in on Kai and see how he's doing."

A/N Sorry for the delay everyone! College has me drowned in work, but I'm hoping to keep pumping out chapters for you all!

Sooo Jay spoke his mind! How did that go for you all.

Next chapter we get to see a certain red head with amnesia interacting with a certain brunette without amnesia. This should be fun...

This was supposed to be combined with next chapter but the combined chapter was waaaaay too long and I already had this section done so I was like "might as well" haha

thank you all so much! you're amazing!