Krystal P.O.V

But why? Then why didn't he come and see me?

He excited every inch of me; I felt electric when I was around him. Maybe because he's the most pure light I ever seen, unfiltered and untouched. He's my sun.

My thoughts got interrupted as I heard a loud TV from outside my room mentioning his name and Zayn's saying that they were both spotted outside their hotel.

I wonder if his heart aches at the sound of my name; like my heart does at the sound of his. Who am I kidding no one knows me.

If you only knew how much those little moments with you mattered to me.

"Krysi! You ready to take your first walk?" Martha asked

I had no motivation to get out of bed, "I am afraid no, maybe tomorrow?" I told her

"Sweetie, your muscles need to stretch it's going to take time. "

"We will do it tomorrow I promise " I said

"Krysi, you know my Dad always told me: Too many of us are not living their dreams because we are living our fears. Your look upon things changes when you put that before your eyes " Martha said before leaving.

She's right; who thought a young nurse could be so wise; I am quite lucky she's not annoying and clingy.

Out of all people who had to hurt me, why did it have to be you Styles?

One of the most painful things is to look at someone you use to love, and still stupidly. I am so desperate to see him though can't get myself to ask about him or any of the like.

How was he able to break my heart when we weren't even together first place?

He is having the time of his life, while I just sit here and realize I mean nothing to him and I start to feel like garbage.

A part of me was telling me to wish him the best, and I should feel Happy those moments we had happened and the other part of me was grieving for it being a memory. Making me wish I could go back.

If he is making me feel the way I am feeling then he's no good for me right? Uncheerful, sad, disgusted; but then again I felt beautiful when he was around, I laughed all the time. He made me feel so special.

Jimmy, my guitar friend visited me a few hours back, and told me that he proposed to Amanda and that their wedding is in 2 months, how much can happen in 4 weeks?

Marriage, engagement, Love, heartbreak, scares, death. A lot; isn't it?

Days have been passing so slow yet so quickly, It feels like autumn leaves falling. I am losing pieces of me everyday every passing minute pulls me in a drain of hunting memories.

You don't feel so hurt, unless you love so much.

I woke up from my restless sleep, where Harry had his arms wrapped around me. The worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real, but then you wake up and it's like life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again.

A knock on the door jerked me out of my depressing bubble, I shot my head up as the door was pushed open to reveal Uncle Michael.

I straightened my back and fixed myself a bit knowing it's useless anyway because of my severely pale face.

"Hey Krysi, how are you feeling?" He asks.

"I'm fine, Uncle."

"Lisa told me about what you said." As he said that I hung my head down losing any confidence to look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry uncle-" I started to apologize but was cut short by him again.

"No, no. Don't be sorry Krystal. I was remembering the memories we had together and what we went through as a family. We always are a family Krysi, don't ever doubt that." He said and I nodded to him, my eyes still gazing at my twisting fingers.

"Krystal," his tone turned serious and loud which made me look up at him "Do you remember when Andy and I taught you how to ride a bicycle?"

The question was sudden and let me off guard, other than the fact that my heart slightly tiered as I remembered my pretty much dysfunctional legs I was taken a back by the answer I mentally gave to myself ashamed to say it out loud.

I don't remember.

Still feeling uneasy I shook my head as my eyes trailed their path back down to my lap.

"You know how many times you fell back then Krysi?" Another question, more precise and with no answer in my head.

Again I shook my head in reply, my eyes never moving off my sweating hands, over my lap.

"You fell fifty nine times Krystal." I look up, my eyes fighting the urge to widen.

Not only because of the huge digit said to be the number of times I fell, but also because of the fact that he remembers.

"You know how many times you got up?" This time, I didn't even bother to give a reply and just looked attentively at uncle Michael.

"Sixty times, Krystal."

Sixty times, I got back up on my feet after falling fifty nine times. Probably ignoring the bruises on my feet and the pain that throbbed through my whole body after fifty nine falls off a bike.

"If you want to do it, you can do it. You are strong enough Krysi. You can."

His words sank slowly and I felt my spirit boosting up but the thought of a life without Harry, let alone being thrown away by him made the tiny pieces of hope I was trying to put together shatter back breaking into smaller pieces.

"Krystal," my destructive thoughts were cut off by uncle Michael again and I just realize he didn't finish yet.

"Back then, After falling for the tenth time Andy was giving up on you and started whining, but the look of persistence never left your eyes and you went on and on ignoring Andy till he left."

"And you stayed?" I couldn't help but to ask, I was already being dumbstruck by every word that was being said.

"I stayed, I believed in you Krysi and I still do, always will."

He believes in me while I don't believe in myself.

I felt my eyes lose the guts to look into my Uncle's eyes as they went back to where they belonged. They went down, low.

"You can Krystal, not only for me or Lisa. Neither Maria nor Andy but for the strong person you are, let everyone know that you are invincible, unbeatable and that you are worth much more."

I looked up into uncle Michael's eyes to find him looking at me, his eyes full of hope, trust and belief... in me.

"You can Krystal, you can sweet heart." He ended.

I felt my eyes slightly getting wet, but I felt my interior dry, unable to let anymore tears out.

My weak heart went numb pulling with it any depressing thoughts as my controlling mind took its place.

New confidence start firing up inside me as I caught onto the tiny hope that was given to me by my gardian, holding tight onto it for distraction from any dark thoughts that threatened to pull me down again.

You can, you can. The words repeated themselves inside my head and slowly I was able to hear them in more than one voice.

My legs itching to stand back up and my spirit higher than it was, I worked harder on pushing away the negative thoughts and focusing on the positive ones.

I heard shuffling beside me and looked up to find Uncle Michael taking his steady steps to the door.

"Thank you," I muttered loud enough for him to hear.

He looked back at me, the smile evident on his face crumbling the skin around his eyes and mouth as he nodded to me and left.

I can.

I look Into the mirror every day and night, and I am disgusted of what I see. I no longer have that cheerful look that appeared everyday. My face has a look of both hatred and misery, my eyes are stone cold like a rock, and yet they also contain an amount of sadness hidden beneath.

Water outlines the inside of my eyes everyday like tears could burst out any second.

This pains me, it hurts to see what I have turned into. But the worst part is I let him turn me into this disastrous person, and I am stuck like this forever.

That's the coast of a broken heart, because only The One who broke it can fix it.

And where are you heart breaker?

"You ready sweety? " Martha asked holding two crutches in her hand a hopeful smile on her face.

I nodded, as she helped me up.

True I am the weakest I could ever be, but I have to be strong for Him for Harry.

I will never learn, I might get over him but it's definitely not happening soon.

I just wish you would come back for me Curly dimples.

I still have feelings for you and no matter how many times I try to convince myself I am better off without you, a part of me just won't let go.

Hello beautiful readers, OMG 1.92K VIEWS WHATTTT 💥🔥🔥

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onedirectioned01 guys please check out her Story it's so freaking cute. Where my Harry girls at! It's about a girl named Casey who is best friends with Harry Styles in school. It's called 'I'll always be there ' BTW like how awesome!

Ikr 😆

18th of July, 2016 @ 4:25 AM Monday already 😊

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