◈ѕlaтer нarтley◈

"Okay, I should get going now, D," Lucas declares with his signature smile, downing the last inch of his coffee and adjusting his jacket.

I look up from the froth embellishing the top of my steaming mug, "Ah, already?"

He laughs, "I don't think they'll postpone their graduation for my sake, man."

Rolling my eyes at his antics, I force out a smile, already feeling the icy chill of isolation creep along my spine. It's hard to pretend that a thousand and one memories don't come to mind when he mentions Harrow.

"Don't forget to come round to my place later on, yeah?" he reminds.

I nod. Earlier this week he asked me to come around to his place to help him decide on some home decor. It was an awfully vague request and an awfully not-like-Lucas activity, but I'm putting it down to the fact that Hannah is most likely moving in with him after she graduates tonight.

"Alright. Drive safe," I nod in goodbye as he stands and chuckles at my cautious words.

He slides out our booth, his voice just one among the many in the cafe.

"You can come along, you know. It's open to all friends and family. I'm sure there's someone you want to see graduate after all her hard work," Lucas hints as I give him a lethargic look.

I lean forwards towards the table, resting my head in my hand, "Lucas, stop mentioning her. It's all you've been doing at least once a week since I left Harrow. You know, it's exhausting."

He holds his hands up in surrender, looking taken aback.

"My bad - didn't expect you to take it that way. I just thought you would want to see Hannah. See you round, D."

He leaves, nonchalantly running a hand through his curly hair.

Hannah?

I sigh. No blind person could have missed the mischief in his eyes.

Distracting me from the monotony of life, my phone vibrates with a text in my pocket. I remove it, seeing a reminder pop up.

Time for work! Your dream came true.

I close my eyes briefly at my past self's encouraging message.

Only partly.

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● qυorra neverѕea ●

I stare down at the certificate in my hands, unable to stop a minute smile from breaching my face.

The glossy ink glimmers, even in the dim lighting of my room, supplying enough warmth in my heart to keep me from shivering due to the cold breeze from the window.

Graduation was anti-climactic. You stand up in a too-loud room and walk across a too-high stage to get a too-flimsy piece of card that congratulates you for surviving the past few years of your academic life. And yet, that tiny action has so much meaning behind it. So many tears, so much frustration, so much struggle, and so much hard work. So much was backing up the moment I just experienced two hours ago.

I had to leave the party to keep the tears at bay. Now they fall freely, my solitude comforting.

I leave my certificate on my desk and wander over to my bed with shaky breaths, vision blurred with unexplainable tears. I don't know what I feel. I'm happy because all of that struggle wasn't for nothing. I was forced into coming to Harrow University to sort my life out, and I did exactly that. More than that. But I'm also sad. Frightened. Worried.

What do I do now? This place has almost become a safe haven for me; I actually feel like I belong. But now... I'm an adult. I have to make my own decisions and pay my own bills and make my own meals and stay on my own budget. I'm not prepared. I don't know what to do. Or who to ask for help.

Hannah must still be down at the post-graduation party. She probably hasn't noticed that I've left yet - Lucas came to congratulate us and I'm sure they're enjoying their time together.

I am proud of myself. I truly am. I just cannot help this tiny inkling of a feeling in the back of my mind. An inkling telling me that maybe things could have been different. Better. If only he were here.

I wipe my tears, starting to grow annoyed with myself. Leaning back againsnst the headboard of my bed, I fist the soft duvet around me, forcing crinkles through the smooth fabric.

"God, why must everything come back to him?" I mumble incoherently, mad at myself, "He's gone, Quorra. It's not a big deal - you weren't even in a proper relationship."

Then why does the absence of his kisses hurt so badly?

I glance over at my certificate on my desk, lying flat and insignificant.

Why can't I ever be satisfied with what I have?

Because there's someone you don't, I answer myself.

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I look up at the exterior of Harrow University, then back down at the bags at my feet.

"We're actually leaving."

Looking across at Hannah, my sadness is momentarily forgotten and the edges of my lips curl up. As always, she's in her business-casual attire. One of her hands sit inside the pocket of her grey, slim-fit trousers; the other fiddles with the front of her striped, collared shirt. Her hair falls around her in fiery ringlets as always, doing little to hide her jade-green, nostalgia-filled eyes. If nothing else, Hannah has been my rock - over the past year especially. She never changes or judges or lies or does anything to upset me.

"I'm going to miss you," I frown as she turns to face me, her expression a mirror of mine, "We've been through everything together."

She smiles sadly, for once not trying to be Panglossian about the situation. Trying to prolong the moment, we dwell in the melancholic atmosphere.

"Imagine if Martha-May-Have-Seriously-Changed never set me up with the abhorrèd tyrant." she reminisces (we had taken to calling Grant 'abhorred tyrant' after Siward's line in the final act of 'Macbeth'), "You would have never confronted me for supposedly lying to him about being ill and that would have never led to me going up to your room to tell you the truth of the situation."

"I don't want to imagine that," I shake my head, shuddering at the sheer thought, "Even though all of that drama was awful and just... scarring... I would do it a thousand times over if it meant I would have gotten this close to you. You're my best friend, Hannah."

We're both tearing up at this point, even though neither of us have ever been fans of watery, melodramatic goodbyes. She pulls me into a hug.

"It's not like we're never going to see each other again," she releases a breathy laugh, "In fact, I'll see you this evening."

"I know, but we won't see each other every day anym-" I intercept myself, "Wait, what? What's happening in the evening?"

She pulls away from our hug to give me an incredulous look, "Are you serious? Martha is hosting a huge post-post-graduation-party party at her place. Everyone is going - how have you not heard?"

I gape at her. Though the sound of Martha no longer physically repulses me, that doesn't stop my dislike towards her for what she's done in the past. Why would I want to attend another party, especially her's, when I'm this exhausted already?

"No thank you," I immediately decline, "You have fun though. Take Lucas? I promise we can meet up soon in some other way."

I sling my backpack over my shoulder and extend the handle of my suitcase, feeling sadness pricking at my heart. Hannah shakes her head at me and unexpectedly drops her bags to grips my shoulders.

"Quorra! You've got to come! It's going to be monumental," she urges, oddly panicked at my denial.

I scrunch my nose in disagreement and tilt my head at her.

"No thanks."

The beeping of a horn grabs my attention. I whip my head around, looking down the road to see Lara and her family in their car, waving frantically at me. I'm suddenly caught between the sheer excitement of seeing my sister and the unadulterated disappointment of parting ways with my best friend.

"Ah," I grab my things clumsily, "I have to go. I love you, Hannah, and I promise we'll speak soon."

At this point, I've already started walking away, the soreness of goodbye alleviated by the image of Lara, Bennett, and their daughter Elena.

"Text me!" I call back to Hannah, starting to questioning her frozen, wide-eyed position.

I'm dropping my bags and throwing my arms around Lara the second I'm close enough.

"Oh my god!" she squeals, hugging me back tightly, "you've grown!"

I laugh at that, resisting the urge to smack her upside the head, "You've seen me plenty of times in the past two years, Lara, including your wedding."

She shrugs me off, as giddy as I am. At the mention of her wedding, I turn to grin at Bennett, who struggles to keep the squirming baby in his arms against his shoulder.

"Hey, Bennnett," I greet, before mockingly commenting, "You going to survive over there?"

He gives me a tired smile that turns out to be more of a grimace, "I hope so. The new-parent life isn't too great."

On that cue, he yawns and Elena starts balling her chestnut-brown eyes out.

"Good luck with that," I chuckle, thanking Lara as we load my bags into their car and get in.

I don't look back as we travel further and further away from Harrow. I look out the window for most of the journey to Lara's house, trying not to let my glee fade but failing miserably. Swallowing, I look down at my hands, balling them in my lap and trying to channel my abundance of pent-up emotion out of my body, or at the very least, out of my face. Bennett catches my eyes in the mirror at a stop light, but only nods in understanding.

Time for adulthood.

Bring it on, life.

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★нannaн ĸleιn★

I tap on speed-dial, nervously pacing on the spot and trying not to trip over my bags in my frantic state. My boyfriend picks up within two rings with a, "Hey, babe."

"It didn't work," I blurt out, ignoring his greeting, "You have to do something, Lucas."

He falls quiet, before muttering a profanity.

I repeat myself, worrying myself half to death, "Lucas, you have to do something. We only have a couple hours until it 'starts'."

Still, he remains silent. I'm about to give up and end the call, but he suddenly speaks up. The determination in his voice seeps through his words.

"I know what to do."

I scoff, incredibly unlike me but expected due to the stress weighing me down, "You freaking better! If you just made me lie to my best friend for nothing, I swear to-"

"Hey!" he challenges, "I had to as well! It's alright - babe, I'll sort it out. Promise. I'll explain when I get to you, I'm nearly there. Love you."

He hangs up as I sigh and lean back against the wall of the university.

This better work.

"Love you too," I mumble.

●（=｀～'=） ●

What are Hannah and Lucas planning...?

I know the past couple chapters have been kind of slow and sad, but the next chapter is going to be EPIC. I promise!

Also - this is an early update for once.

Love you all.

Over and out,
Spud 🥔