"So, Ed, why were you late to calculus this morning?" Ed's mom set a plate of pancakes on the tabletop in front of Noah. Ed loved his mom's pancakes. She kept the same recipe as before the divorce: they were as fluffy and as fatty and as cinnamon-y as they had always been. That was one thing about Ed's mom: though she was about a big of a flake as anyone with a PhD in engineering could be, she usually ignored health foods. Sure, she'd occasionally hop on the kale-chip-bandwagon, but one suggestion of oven-baking her empandas, or forgoing arroz con leche for (Ed's dad's preferred) heart-healthy oatmeal, and she'd blanche as if someone had cast a terrible insult at her, her children, and her ancestors (her tucumana abuela's empandas were always, always fried). Ed respected that about her.

"Probably toking up," Noah opened a jug of maple syrup, "he's a delinquent."

"Where did you learn to talk like that?" Ed's mom seemed equal parts amused and concerned.

"Goddamnit Mom," Noah pounded the bottom of the jug until syrup dripped onto his pancakes. "I'm eleven, I know all about weed."

"What?" Ed's mom stroked her collarbone.

"He started his drug resistance classes last week," Ed stuffed a piece of bacon into his mouth, "and now he's going to pretend he's Snoop Dogg because he thinks its edgy or something."

"Like you haven't been snorting cannabis," Noah narrowed his eyes at Ed, "You've been all stoopid recently."

"Snorting cannabis?" Ed parroted.

"Now listen here, kid," Ed's mom pointed an index finger at Noah, "there is no way Ed is 'toking up.' He's really not clever enough to hide that kind of habit. We'd smell it for one, and-"

"Not clever enough?" Ed dropped his fork, "I'm disappointing for not doing drugs now?"

"I didn't mean it like that, honey," Ed's mom tried to soften her words, "You're clever enough for most things."

"Geeze. Tell me how you really feel, huh."

"He's a delinquent!" Noah opened his eyes as wide as he possibly could in an attempt to feign sincerity. "He nearly killed us driving over here."

"Ed!" Ed's mom yelped, "What happened?" It seemed that she bought Noah's mugging. Typical.

"It was fine." Ed groaned, "We're fine! He's exaggerating."

"Plus he started listening to the country station." Noah added, "He's definitely not sober, if you ask me."

"All the other stations were on commercial-"

"The light was turning red, and he didn't realize it until we were basically in the middle of the intersection and then he hit the breaks really abruptly and this eighteen-wheeler was coming!" Noah slammed his left fist into the palm of his right hand, "And all the while this guy on the radio was singing about his big green tractor-"

"Was he speeding?" Ed's mom asked.

Ed shot dagger eyes at Noah.

"He was!" Of course Noah ignored Ed's death glare. Noah had absolutely no respect for (nor fear of) Ed. Even Ed's baby brother thought he was ridiculous. "I bet he was going seventy."

"I don't have to put up with these lies." Ed took his dishes to the kitchen sink, "I got stuff to do. Mike asked me to help him toss out his sofa tonight."

"You can't leave," Ed's mom jumped to her feet, "You just got here!"

"Sorry, Ma." Ed grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair in which he had been sitting, "but I gotta bounce."

"Mood swings. Classic sign of drug addiction," Noah took a sip of his orange juice.

"Thanks for the pancakes." Ed started down the hallway toward the front door. His mom followed. Just as he reached for the door knob, she stepped in front of him.

"I never get to see you anymore." Ed's mom pressed her hand against the door, "You're either at school, or with your friends, or Mike, and now you've started working all the time."

"I'm busy," Ed shuffled his feet on the Namaste welcome mat.

"I don't even know what's going on in your life," Ed's mom shook her head so emphatically a curl fell onto her forehead, "and you're so tall all of a sudden, and you've broadened out-" she squeezed his right arm.

"Well, if you hadn't spent all of last summer in Norway, you wouldn't have missed out on my growth spurt." Ed squirmed out of his mom's grasp.

"You know that trip was necessary for Niklas and me to complete our research." Ed's mom brushed the errant curl off her forehead. "The polar bear's an increasingly vulnerable species and the Svalbard Islands-"

"Fantastic for the Svalbard polar bears." Ed stared at the ceiling, "I'm sure they appreciated your presence with their sentient animal brains."

"First, I didn't teach you to shame women for their careers-"

As soon as Ed's mom said the word shame, Ed regretted mentioning her summer sabbatical in the first place. Here we go again, he thought, you have to pursue your truest happiness. Your TRUEST HAPPINESS.

"Second, that was a transformative experience for me, more of a spiritual rebirth than a research trip," Ed's mom continued, "I want you to be free to pursue your truest happiness. Don't you want that for me?"

On the words truest happiness, Ed felt like groaning. Right on cue.

"I'm very happy that you are happy." He said flatly.

"Your happiness is just palpable," Ed's mom snipped, "You're just like your dad, you know?"

"Try telling him that."

"There's a lot of similarities."

"You'd rather I be like Niklas, huh?" Ed blurted out. Oh shit. Damn. Damn hell. Why did I say that? he thought, Now she'll never let me leave.

"Oh, that's what this is about."

"That's not what this is about because there is no this," Ed tried not to sound as frustrated as he was.

"You're avoiding me because you're upset about my friendship with Niklas," Ed's mom reasoned, "Understandable. But it's not fair to resent him. We've only become lovers in the last month, long after your father and I-"

"Mom!" Ed cringed, "I don't want to hear about when Niklas became your lover-"

"You better not develop a Madonna-Whore complex," Ed's mom pointed a finger at him, "I think it's important you understand that women have physical needs-"

"Mom!" Ed's face turned very red. Ed believed his mom's sex education lectures deserved to be their own special ring of hell. Probably serves me right, he thought, for never visiting and then being snarky when I do come by. How do I get out of this? Least resistance? Lots of nodding? Soft voice?

"You're getting to the age where you'll be forging your own romantic relationships and unless you want to end up alone like your father, you have to understand women- you should really read Naomi Wolf's-"

"I promise I'll catch up on Naomi Wolf this summer." Ed nodded. He had no plans to catch up on Naomi Wolf this summer.

"You won't," Ed's mom rested her head against the front door, "but that's fine, you're a kid. I'm just worried you're avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you," Ed softened his voice, "I'm literally working all the time. There's no ulterior motive. And I like Niklas. Really."

That last part was a lie, but if it would pacify her-

"Well, why do you feel the need to work all the time?"

"I need to get prom tickets and stuff," Ed mumbled.

"Prom tickets?" A smile crept on Ed's mom's face, "You're in the throes of love, aren't you? You've met a girl and now you're in love."

"Don't be ridiculous." Ed had already been given enough grief for his feelings for Audra from his dad, he didn't need any smart comments from his mom either (or any more frank discussions of female physical needs for that matter. He didn't reaaally deserve hellfire, quite yet.).

"You don't dance," Ed's mom said, "and you usually can't be bothered to brush out your bedhead. There has to be a girl involved."

"Okay, fine," Ed admitted, "I got a crush on a friend, and I want to take her to prom. But it's nothing serious."

"All the puzzle pieces fall into place." Ed's mom clasped her hands together, "You're all dopey because you're high on dopamine."

"I don't even know where to buy dopamine."

"It's a neurotransmitter, you goof," Ed's mom chuckled, "You don't need to buy it, you're already producing enough on your own in there." She tapped him lightly on the head.

"A neuro-" Ed stared at his mom's lips.

"Neurotransmitter. That's why you were late to calculus then, right?" Ed's mom now beamed, "Sneaking in some smooches from the sweetheart in between class?"

"We're just friends." Ed said in a tone he thought would convey his complete and utter angst with his mom's glee at his adolescent love-life.

"Early days, I get it." Ed's mom pinched Ed's cheek. She didn't seem to pick up on his complete and utter angst, bitter tone or not. "But if you're going to be all hormonal, at least try not to get into a car crash, okay? No daydreaming while driving."

"Noah doesn't know anything about anything." Ed leaned against the door and silently debated salting Noah's oatmeal at breakfast tomorrow.

"Noah is a very astute child." Ed's mom said, "Very perceptive. Don't play the mixtape you've made for her in the car. No distractions."

"Mixtape?" Ed snickered.

"Oh come on," Ed's mom moaned, "You're telling me kids don't make mixtapes anymore? You haven't made a mixtape for- what's her name?"

"Audra." Ed smiled at the floor. God, he loved to say Audra's name. It was probably the most beautiful name in France- and France was supposed to be filled with all kinds of beautiful names, like, uh, Anette? Claudette? Audra definitely had those beat-

"She's not the one who wears the weird lipsticks, right?" Ed's mom interrupted Ed's thoughts.

"Gina?" Ed blinked. He was shocked to realize that his mom thought he could be in love with Gina, "No, no, uh, Audra's the foreign exchange student from France, they're completely different. "

"How the hell was I supposed to know? You don't tell me anything."

Ed didn't want to look into his mom's eyes, but then he did. She seemed actually quite- was it- sad? Ed noticed a few flakes of black mascara collecting under her bottom lashes, and the new streak of gray hair by her temples. He felt a small amount of guilt he quickly tried to push away. When he couldn't, he set his head on her shoulder and gave her a long hug.

"You still haven't told me why you're working," she murmured, "You want to buy your prom tickets yourself?"

"Not really," Ed slipped out of his mom's arms, "Dad wants me to learn the value of a dollar or whatever, because a girl isn't a guitar-"

"So your dad wants you to pay for your prom tickets." Ed's mom concluded.

"And the tux rental, and the corsage-"

"That's damn ridiculous, the jackass," Ed's mom rolled her eyes, "I'm not having you working all the time to the detriment of your relationships, if that's what he's teaching you to do. You're a teenager in love, you need to worry about bacne or body odor, not making a paycheck."

"Body odor?" Ed sniffed his left armpit, "Are you trying to tell me something?"

"How much are the tickets?" Ed's mom started toward her bedroom, "I'll go get my checkbook."

***