You could barely call it a life, Esther, get real! 

Ever since I got up I was walking circles through the hotel room, like some kind of animal in a cage. I felt like an animal in a cage. An animal because I lost all that made me civilized. I had no gloves to keep me in control and I had no Master to tell me what to do. I hadn't showered or taken a bath in weeks and I was still wearing the same white dress. You could barely call it white anymore, though. My once so pretty and tamed hair had grown too long and was full of tangles. My real (and ugly) dark blonde hair colour was clearly visible on top of my head, between the black and blue. I went to bed too late and got up too early, and I barely ate. All I did was walk in circles and think. I had been doing that for the past few weeks.

It wasn't a right way to live! The only thing you were interested in was music. You only went from stage to stage as if there was no tomorrow. But a new tomorrow would come and you would only go like "Yippee, another day to feast!" That's not a good life, Esther, it's not!
But I was happy.
Only because you denied anything that could make you unhappy! You just denied that you needed someone to guide you through life the right way. And you refused to feel guilty about dragging everyone you knew into your lifestyle! Even your bird Arjen only sings metal songs! 

Rik and Kasper had tried at first to take care of me. But I wouldn't let either of them feed me or comb my hair or wash me. After a few days they decided it'd be best to leave me alone to think. They still brought me breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. I tried to eat, but I never ate all of it. Usually not even half of it. 

Would Master be caught already?
The guy's name is Carl, Esther. You should get over it. You say that living music wasn't good for me, but I can tell living as a slave wasn't all that amazing either. Instead of taking your loved ones with you, you just left them behind. You tell me which is worse.
You don't even need "loved ones" like that! How can they really love you if they don't even see how important Master is? He was the one making you truly happy, not music!
Now that is nonsense. The stage has always been my true home, and once I get back there, you'll see it still is! 

I knew they were worried about me. I was also worried. But I had to straighten this out. I couldn't go on if I didn't know in what direction I should go, and being divided like this was tearing me apart. I first had to agree with myself, and then I would see. 

It started to rain. 

Swimming all alone in my fish bowl
Around me only glass walls
Barely room enough to move, to stretch, to breathe
And in a poisonous sea I float
Afrain to sink and die
Or disturb the balance, so fragile

That was the song "Mare" I wrote. I remembered that I hummed it in the backseat of Master Carl's car. My feet automatically stepped in the right speed. Left, right, left, right. 

"In my little glass cage
No way out of here
In the name of life I call you
Get me out... Before I die"

My singing happened nearly automatically. My brain finally shut up. No more thoughts, only music. 

"Mare...!
Mare...!
Mare...!
Mare...!"

I had started to sing louder. I heard the door open, but I was standing with my back turned to it, so I didn't know who it was. I didn't even care. If it were neighbors complaining about the noise, I wouldn't listen to them anyway. 

"I SEE FACES EVERYWHERE
DISAPPOINTED, DISSATISFIED
NOT SURE IF IT'S A DREAM
OR THE BITTER TRUTH
AND I DROWN IN A SEA OF TEARS..."

I turned around dramatically, as if I was standing on stage and inviting Kasper to start the bassline. But it wasn't Kasper I saw, it was Rik. And he clapped.