That night Virgil stared at his phone anxiously.

Should he be the one to make the first move? He had already established himself as an assertive person (despite the fact that he wasn't), so it was probably his job to get a conversation started, right?

And he was the one who asked for Roman's number, therefore implying that he wanted to talk to him. So, it must be his job to say something first, yeah?

But what to say?

Does he call? Was that too soon? What if Roman didn't like phone calls? God--What if Virgil didn't like phone calls?! He hadn't called anyone in like eight years! The last person being his father.

What if Roman had given him a fake number? What if this was all some elaborate scheme to make him look like an idiot? He could name several people who would do that kind of thing to him. Dennis Troper, Janus Orm, Susan Wojcicki (just so she could swoop in and be his knight in shining armor). There were many more, so the possibility of the number being fake wasn't unlikely.

He frowned. What would he even say to him? He had already made a complete fool of himself in the cafeteria while trying to sound cool, he would probably just do it again.

Virgil took a deep breath. At this rate, he would probably end up freaking out and just not contacting Roman at all. He needed to just do it and get it over with.

hey

Virgil nearly gagged the moment he sent the message. He wasn't ready. Maybe there was still time to unsend the message?

The message was marked as read.

Virgil paled. Nope. Nevermind. This would happen now, apparently.

There were a few moments of silence, lasting for practically an eternity.

Oh god, he wasn't responding? Virgil had crossed the line, hadn't he? He's ruined his chances. He knew it was too soon, why was he such an idio--?!

Ro: Hey

Virgil's heart leapt to his throat, and he practically raced to type out his response.

you left me on read for a second

my heart stopped beating for a sec lmao

Virgil regretted everything. Roman had definitely not needed to know how anxious those two seconds had made him, so why did he send that? Was he stupid?

Ro: That's the point

Ro: I'm keeping you on ur toes ;)

Virgil flushed.

well it certainly worked

what r u up to?

Was that too soon? Was he allowed to ask that yet?

Ro: Dinner, at the moment

Virgil blinked. So Roman wasn't too busy, it seemed. He frowned.

cool

No. That was dumb. He quickly deleted that.

what r u eating? :)

Ew. Definitely not. Not only was that creepy, but frankly none of his business.

wanna come over?

Virgil paused. He typed it just to test how it felt, but now he was genuinely wondering what would happen if he asked that. Hesitantly, he hit send.

The reply was almost instantaneous.

Ro: What about hw?

Virgil huffed out a laugh. He didn't take Roman as the super studious type.

it's friday??

it can wait until tomorrow

Ro: It's getting late

exactly ;)

He regretted it the moment he hit send.

WHAT THE FUCK, VIRGIL?

He ran a shaky hand through his hair, feeling his breathing pick up. "What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with me?" He laughed nervously. "You met him today. What the actual fuck?"

The message was marked as read.

But no reply was being formed.

Virgil felt his chest seize.

He'd ruined it. He'd ruined his chances. Roman probably thought he was weird and gross. What made him better than the people in the halls? He was doing the exact same thing, wasn't he? Making creepy advances towards Roman, what was wrong with him?

Virgil wrapped his arms around himself. He felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world.

His one chance to be happy.

And he blew it.

---

He silently grabbed another cookie, sniffling as he chewed. He had cried himself dry about five minutes ago, and was now staring blankly at the wall.

Maybe this was just how things were meant to be.

Maybe Virgil was destined to be alone forever.

Maybe his mother was right about him.

He bit into the cookie, the treat tasting dull in his mouth.

Did he even deserve to be upset over this? It wasn't like he and Roman were particularly close. The first time they spoke was at lunch, after all. Perhaps even being upset was overstepping the limits.

He was interrupted from his brooding by a knock on the door.

He froze.

No way.

Virgil grabbed the cookie tin and threw it like a football back to the kitchen. He threw the blanket off of himself, shoving it underneath the couch cushions (after flipping the one covered in cookie crumbs over). Then, he jumped over the couch to reach the mirror that sat on the wall. He quickly grabbed his water bottle, throwing it on his face. He ran back over to the couch and quickly rubbed his face on the cushions in order to dry it.

Then sprinted towards the door, practically throwing it open.

"Oh hey, you made it." He smiled calmly.

Roman smiled nervously. "Y-Yup. I made it!" He stammered.

Virgil's smile dampened. Was he intimidating? Why was he nervous? Was he about to tell Virgil that he thought he was gross and weird and--

Nope. He wasn't doing this again.

"Come in." Virgil opened the door a little wider, and closed it when Roman had entered the house. As Roman looked around, Virgil quickly checked his breath.

"This is nice." Roman commented.

Virgil looked at the house as well, seeing the blanket sticking out of the couch, and the slight dent in the wall from where he threw the cookie tin. He winced slightly at the latter.

"You think so? I've never really had anyone over before." He said, almost apologetically.

Roman gave him a charming little side-smile, revealing one of his dimples. "Oh? And what makes me so special?"

Virgil felt weak in the knees, and his reply was spilling out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "Well for one, you're one of the most gorgeous people I've ever seen."

Why would he say that? Why the fuck would he say that? That was so goddamn embarrassing.

Roman flushed, and Virgil wanted to die.

"...wh-why did you invite me over?" Roman asked him quietly.

Honestly, Virgil was wondering the same thing.

What did he hope to accomplish from this? He had no clue.

He didn't want to just have sex with Roman. No, he saw him as more than that. He saw Roman as someone who could save him from his hell of a life. Someone who could look past the rumors and the drama, and just saw him.

It was only natural he wanted to spend more time with him.

"I wanted to talk to you, away from school. Without any distractions." He fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist, glancing away.

Without people like Susan interfering. Without anyone there to give their two cents on Virgil's life.

"Is there a specific thing you wanted to talk about?" Roman tilted his head. Virgil felt a bit relieved that Roman didn't seem too weirded out by that. It must've been a weird thing to hear from a stranger.

"Not really." He walked over to the couch and sat down, making sure to cover the blanket that was sticking out. "I just really like the sound of your voice."

Virgil paused.

He hadn't meant to say that.

Why was he such a goddamn mess?

"A phone call, or facetime would've been enough to hear my voice." Roman shrugged, an easy smile playing on his lips. Honestly, thank god he was just rolling with the bullshit coming out of Virgil's mouth.

"And not have the privilege of seeing you in person?" Virgil smirked, pretending he meant to say that. "That doesn't really sound like my ideal choice."

"So your ideal choice is to invite me over, and listen to me talk?" Roman quirked a brow up, sitting down next to Virgil on the couch.

Virgil froze. He was close. Too close.

It was different from when it was in the cafeteria. There were more people there, people who kept the butterflies in his stomach grounded. Now? Now they were alone. Just the two of them.

It was somehow more overwhelming.

His brain went fuzzy as he realized that the conversation was revealing how creepy his behavior was. Inviting a stranger over to 'listen to him talk.' Making creepy advances towards him in the classroom. He was disgusting.

Roman didn't even know anything about him, and he didn't know much about the green-eyed boy either. Was he allowed to say he was interested in him when he knew literally nothing about him?

He needed to establish a friendship before even beginning to explore something more.

What did friends talk about?

Virgil blurted out the first thing his mind could come up with.

"My mother cheated on my father."

Roman's eyes widened, and Virgil could physically feel the atmosphere drop.

He wanted to burst into tears.

Trauma seemed to be the answer his brain had come up with. Way to go, brain.

To make matters worse, after the initial phrase, his mouth refused to stop fucking talking.

"After that happened, my dad became this shell of a man."

Stop talking.

"He refused to speak to anyone."

Stop fucking talking!

"I couldn't even get him to eat."

SHUT UP!

"He starved to death."

He remembered that day like it was yesterday.

He remembered opening his father's bedroom door, hoping that his father would finally eat. Hoping that something would change. A plate of toast and a glass of orange juice in his hand, he pushed open the door with his back.

It had looked like his father was sleeping.

"That's...terrible." Roman murmured, a horrified expression on his face.

Virgil mumbled something in reply, though he could barely hear it over the static of his thoughts, looking away from Roman. Then, he kept talking. "My mom refused to associate with me after that, claiming it was my fault. That I was the reason she cheated."

"You're a cursed child! Cursed!" His mother had seethed, glaring at him like he was absolutely worthless. "How could you ever expect me to love you?! No one could ever love you!"

Maybe she was right. With how he was acting right now, how could Roman ever love him? He was actively ruining his chances with every passing second.

"That's not true."

Virgil furrowed his brow.

Roman's tone was certain, like he had just stated a fact that was impossible to disprove, like arguing against him would be futile, because he was correct.

"I know it's not." He shrugged, letting out a quiet sigh. "Didn't make it hurt any less."

It was silent for a moment, and Virgil looked back up at Roman anxiously, scared of the look on his face.

He paused.

Uncertain, a bit nervous, but still beautiful. His eyes, Virgil wanted to let himself get lost in that gorgeous shade of green forever.

"You're really stunning, Roman." Virgil whispered, his feelings spilling out without a second thought. "It's distracting."

Almost subconsciously, he brought his hand up to lightly caress Roman's cheek, practically swooning when the latter made no attempt to move away.

"And your skin is flawless." He brushed his thumb lightly against his smooth skin. He leaned a bit closer instinctively.

Roman mumbled something in reply, but Virgil was too distracted by the fact that his green eyes were looking at the purple-haired boy's lips to pay attention.

And then?

Then, their lips connected.

Virgil felt like fireworks had gone off inside of his heart, and he quickly pulled away.

"God, you taste like sugar." He mumbled breathlessly.

He met Roman's eyes again, thinking back to everything they had talked about, everything that led up to this moment.

"I know that you won't be able to make my pain go away." He said, because Roman needed to know that Virgil saw him as more than that. He looked into those gorgeous green eyes, searching for a way to figure out what was going on inside Roman's head.

"But you're a hell of a distraction."

A/N:

I kinda hate this chapter but eh.