The feeling of losing control.

How do you get it back?

There are several ways to answer this, and flashbacks include refraining from food until starving and scarring up your arms to feel pain. The pain never goes away and the scars just mock you, reminding you day after day after day what you've done and how you can never take it back. You can never get that moment back where instead of slicing you redirect your thoughts, you reach out for help, you do anything but hurt yourself.

Because it doesn't just hurt you, not ever.

Every time you pick up the weapon you use against yourself you may as well be slashing others while you're at it. It's not just about you and some people can't stand that.

It hurts that people are so blind that they can't see past their own noses to see that you're hurting and that they're not helping you, when all you need is someone to hug you and tell you they care and that you matter, and you're beautiful and there is no one on earth who could ever replace you, not ever.

So if you haven't heard it in awhile, then take it in, because it is true.

And sometimes you need to tell other people what they are in order to feed hope into yourself.