Castti felt restless. 

She knew realistically that she should have been doing more to follow the instructions the rest of the travelers had set out for her. Throné had wanted her to spend some time recovering from the unexpected strain remembering something had taken on her body, and Castti knew she should have been following that advice. It was a good suggestion; Castti would have told any one of her patients to take it easy if they had been put in a similar position. They needed to take care of themselves on the heels of a major stressor if they wanted to make a full recovery. Otherwise, all they were going to do was end up getting hurt all over again, and they would have to start from scratch in pulling their lives together again. 

She couldn't bring herself to follow her own advice today though. Castti felt like all of her nerves were rattling around just beneath the surface of her skin, desperate to find any escape they could. Sitting in her inn room felt like it wasn't helping anyone. Her headache had gone down a little bit, but it refused to fully alleviate despite her best efforts. She had taken a bit of medicine in an effort to soothe the pain, but after a certain point, everything seemed to stop working. This sudden headache of hers seemed to defy all the rules of what was normal for a body to do, and she had no idea what she was meant to do about it. 

Castti ultimately decided though that she couldn't just sit around in her room waiting for something to change. She had to make an active effort to alter her life for the better, and right now, the best way to do that was to get both out of her head and out of the inn. Her head was still pulling with pain, but she did her best to not acknowledge it any more than was absolutely necessary. Perhaps it would go away if she was able to think about something else. Castti knew that wasn't how anything worked when it came to ailments of the body, but she found herself hoping for it regardless. 

The best way she could think to describe her behavior that day was out of character. None of this felt right for her, and she couldn't even begin to get to the bottom of why she was acting so strangely. Everything felt like it was falling apart, and that had been the case ever since she heard about the purple rain. Learning about Eir's Apothecaries coming to Sai from Mao hadn't sparked a reaction like this, but the purple rain most certainly had. Castti couldn't understand why regardless of how hard she tried. Something about the purple rain just felt like it was too much for her to bear. 

Castti could only assume the reason the purple rain was such a struggle for her to think about was because it had been traumatizing for her somehow, but the details of how continued to elude her. Trying to think about it too hard only made her head pound harder, and Castti was almost certain it was something best left alone for the time being. She was bound to reach the truth eventually; she just needed to be patient. That did very little to alleviate the current issue she was having, but Castti knew better than to push it. If her head was hurting this much after just hearing about the purple rain in passing, then it was only going to get worse if she pushed herself beyond her limits. 

On one hand, Castti felt like she finally understood why she acted so strangely when she was left out in the rain. The day of the purple rain must have been the source of it all. She was certain of it... But there was still something she was missing. The idea of the sky turning purple did very little to fill her in on what exactly it was that she did not understand. What had frightened her so much that she was instinctively avoiding the rain even when she did not remember why? It made no sense, and... 

And Castti had to find a way to understand. Even if it took her a while, she needed to get to the bottom of it. There was only one person who would be able to fill her in on what was happening before she arrived in Winterbloom, and Castti already doubted she would find her any time soon. If they were meant to cross paths, then surely they wouldn't have been pulled apart from one another in the first place. Surely Castti wouldn't have been left all alone by--

"Malaya?"

Castti had wandered to the edge of Sai in her mindless haze, and when she looked up, she found that she was no longer alone. Standing just outside the limits of town was none other than Malaya. She was every bit as picturesque and perfect now as she had been all the way back in Canalbrine, and Castti felt as if her heart had been gripped tightly in her chest at the mere sight of her. Malaya was everything, and yet... 

"Castti," Malaya greeted in return. There were just a few steps worth of distance between them, and yet, it felt like a massive chasm Castti could never hope to cross. It felt like Malaya simply wouldn't let her close that space until they were able to embrace. "You've started to remember." She stated it so plainly, like she had already known it to be the truth before Castti had the chance to explain. Somehow, Malaya was perfectly aware of everything that Castti ever said or did, and Castti couldn't even begin to understand how. 

"I have," Castti confirmed. "I heard about the purple rain, and..." She took a step forward, but as soon as she did, the pain in her head began to spike. "What happened, Malaya? You know, don't you? What am I missing? Who... Who was that? Who turned the rain purple? What can't I remember?"

Malaya said nothing for a long moment, and Castti almost wondered if this was all a horrific figment of her imagination. Perhaps Malaya was a mirage created by the desert heat, and yet, Castti wished more than anything for that to not be the case. "Travel to Winterbloom," Malaya eventually answered. Her eyes had grown distant and hazy like she couldn't bear to stare at Castti for any longer than she already had. "The truth will be revealed there."

"But you can tell me right now," Castti pressed. "You know what happened for me to forget. You were there. You... You were the one who put me in the skiff. I don't understand why you're going so far to keep the truth from me. I need to know. Please..." 

Malaya turned away, her brown hair swishing and then settling across her upper back. "You'll remember when the time is right," she said simply. "Until then... Take care, Castti." Malaya took a few steps away from Sai, threatening to vanish into the desert sands completely.

Fear flared in Castti's chest. She couldn't do this. She couldn't lose Malaya again. They needed to see one another again. They belonged together, didn't they? But if that was true, then why was Malaya so insistent on leaving her behind? "Malaya!" Castti cried out, reaching one hand after Malaya. As soon as she moved to touch Malaya, Castti felt another spike of pain drive itself into her skull. She couldn't help but shriek in agony, and her vision began to blur from the force of sudden tears prickling in her eyes. "I just want to understand! Don't leave me like this!"

But Malaya did not stop. She only allowed herself a single glance over her shoulder, watching as Castti's hand pulled back to nurse the invisible pain shattering her temple. There was something like regret clouding over her brown eyes, but it was not enough to convince her to stay. Instead, she turned her head away as soon as she was able to convince herself to do so, and she began to walk away into the sands. 

Castti tried to follow her, but the sudden, sharp pain in her head was far too much for her to overcome. This was her chance to truly understand what she was missing. Malaya was right there, and she would be able to fill her in on everything she had been missing since she woke up in Canalbrine. If anyone would be able to tell her the truth of who was responsible for the purple fire, it was Malaya. If anyone would be able to tell Castti just why she was so terrified of the sky beginning to cascade, it was Malaya. If anyone would be able to tell her who she was and what she had lost, it was Malaya. 

But Malaya refused to say a word, and she continued to walk away as a desert sandstorm began to kick up all around them. Castti reached a hand out through the air, but she didn't even come close to convincing Malaya to remain by her side. Instead, it was like Malaya had completely disappeared into the desert air. She had vanished in the blink of an eye back in Canalbrine too, and now, history was repeating itself. Castti had told herself she would do everything she could to stop this from happening, but it wasn't enough. Nothing felt like it was ever enough, and she was going to be stuck trying to sort through her memories all on her own for the rest of time. 

Castti let out a shaky breath, realizing a bit too late that she was crying. She couldn't say for certain if she was crying because of Malaya or because of the pain that was steadily driving itself between her eyes, but she couldn't seem to stop once she had started. It felt like the foundation of her world had shifted when she wasn't paying attention, and her only choice was to simply watch as the earth trembled beneath her feet. It was a miracle she hadn't collapsed to the ground when she realized Malaya was gone. That was how she had reacted back in Canalbrine. Perhaps she had grown a little bit stronger since then... 

But she still wasn't strong enough to ask Malaya to stay. 

"Castti?"

Somewhere in the distance, Castti heard someone say her name, but she didn't entirely register it. Instead, she was too busy staring off into the deserts around Sai. Perhaps she would still be able to catch up with Malaya if she moved quickly. There had to be something she could do to close the distance between them. Castti wasn't going to be able to accomplish anything as long as she was stuck there in Sai forever. This was her chance, and she had to try and take it. If Malaya was there, then... 

"Castti?" 

The apothecary took a step toward the desert, but something in the back of her mind told her she wasn't going to find Malaya anywhere regardless of how hard or how long she searched. She didn't know how she was so sure of it, but she found that she was anyway. Malaya wasn't there anymore, and yet... Castti felt as if Malaya should have been right there by her side. It went beyond instinct and settled into her bones as something far deeper. Malaya was supposed to be there, and when Castti closed her eyes, she could almost imagine--

"Castti!"

A hand came down on Castti's shoulder, and she gasped as she snapped out of her trance all at once. In a few earth-shattering second, the world came back into focus, and Castti blinked to awareness as she turned to face the person who had approached her. Throné had one hand pressed against her shoulder, and worry was etched into her features. "Why are you all the way out here?" Throné asked. "You shouldn't be out of the room right now. You're supposed to be recovering from this afternoon."

Castti's throat was suddenly too dry for her to bear. Throné was right; she should have been resting, and all of the excuses she had used to justify her departure previously felt painfully insufficient now that she was looking into Throné's worried eyes. "I..." Castti swallowed down her nerves and let out a slow breath. "I thought I would feel better if I got a bit of air, and..." She looked back out at the desert. "Did you see her?"

"See who?" Throné echoed. "Was there someone here with you?"

"It was Malaya," Castti answered. "I thought I would be able to ask her what was going on with my missing memories. She... She was there. She was the one who put me in the skiff that led me to Canalbrine. She was there when I was in Sai too. She was there on the mountain where the purple rain was falling. She should know everything, but... She wouldn't tell me what she knew. She walked away before I could ask her, and..." She pressed her hands against her temples in an effort to stem the pounding pain. "My head hurts."

"We should get you back to the inn," Throné said with a frown. "It's not good for you to wander off on your own like this after what you went through today. You're just going to end up making yourself feel worse, and I don't think you need any help with that right now." 

Castti wanted to object, but she knew Throné had a point. She certainly didn't need any help feeling worse than she already did. "I suppose you're right." The world felt like it was going to spin out of control all around her at any moment, and her only choice was to try and bury herself in the darkness. Perhaps sleeping would be enough to purge all of this unpleasant pain from her body once and for all. If she rested, then maybe she would wake up in the morning feeling refreshed enough to say she could forget about this. She doubted it, but she could certainly hope her mind and body were willing to cooperate with her at least a little bit. 

Throné wrapped an arm around Castti's shoulders and began to escort her back toward the inn, though the journey was a bit stilted for both of them. Castti knew Throné wasn't used to being this close with anyone, and she certainly wasn't used to having to put so much effort into comforting other people. In the Blacksnakes, she never had to even think of doing something like this, and Castti could see it even if Throné didn't talk about it extensively. This was new territory for her, but she was doing her best to push through it so she could help Castti. 

As for Castti, she felt strange asking for help. She knew realistically that every person needed to receive a bit of help from time to time and that bottling up their issues wasn't going to fix anything, but... It still felt wrong to seek out the aid of others sometimes. She was an apothecary. It was her job to help others, and she shouldn't have needed the people she was taking care of to bend over backwards for her. Castti should have been able to handle herself, but instead, the force of a memory she did not understand was enough to send her to her knees. Instead, seeing a girl from her past made her feel as if her brain was being torn apart by a knife while she was awake and screaming. 

"Do you want to eat anything?" Throné asked once they had arrived back in the streets of Sai. "I think everyone was planning on going to the tavern around this time to get some food. It might help you to get something in your stomach if you're feeling better."

Castti hadn't even realized how hungry she was until after Throné mentioned food, but as soon as she did, her stomach began to ache mightily. Perhaps that was yet another reason Castti had been feeling so out of sorts since she decided to leave the inn: she had barely eaten anything all day. It was one of the most basic explanations for her issues, and yet, it seemed to be a helpful one. Castti wished that was all there was to it, though she already knew it wasn't going to be that simple. Nothing was going to be fully resolved until she had remembered everything, but she couldn't draw her past out of her locked mind in a single afternoon. Right now, the thing she needed most was rest and food. "That sounds lovely."

Throné continued to guide Castti to the tavern in Sai, and the apothecary was shocked to see some of the other members of the group were already there waiting for her and Throné. Partitio and Ochette were sitting at a table in the corner of the tavern, talking excitedly about everything they had gotten up to that afternoon. They fell silent when they realized they had company, and Ochette looked up at Castti with a worried frown. "What are you doing up?" Ochette asked. "You still don't look too great, Castti."

"I thought I needed some fresh air, but I suppose not," Castti answered as she sat down in between Ochette and Throné. She was tempted to tell the rest of the group about Malaya, but she didn't know if she would be able to find the words without wanting to start crying from all she had failed to uncover that afternoon. Instead, she looked at Ochette and Partitio with a strained smile. "What did you two spend your day doing? I hope you had a good enough time after we all went our separate ways."

"Ochette and I decided to look through the poorer districts of Sai to raise the spirits of everyone livin' there," Partitio answered. "We thought they could use a little encouragement after everythin' they've been through, and we were able to cheer up a few of the kids. No one knows for sure if this is really gonna be the end of the war or not, but they seemed happy to know that progress was bein' made if nothin' else."

"Yeah! And all of the kids really liked being able to meet and play with Acta and Mahina," Ochette grinned. "It was great to just stop thinking about the war for a little while. I'm sure everyone will be in a much better mood when they're not as worried about it too. No one should have to spend all their time thinking about where their next meal is going to come from or if they're going to have to fight for it."

"I'm glad you were able to enjoy your afternoon. It sounds like you both helped a lot of people," Castti smiled softly. Even if her day had taken a turn for the miserable after the party split up, Castti was beyond glad she seemed to be the only one suffering in this way. She didn't want to drag the rest of the group down with her simply because she was having a less than stellar time. 

"What about you?" Ochette asked. Her smile began to slip away when she sniffed at the air, and seconds later, she was fully frowning. "You don't seem like yourself right now. Did something happen?"

Castti hesitated, and she let out a sigh. She should have known it wasn't going to be possible to keep a secret from Ochette of all people for long... Though Castti couldn't say she at all understood how it was that Ochette was able to seemingly smell her lack of certainty on her. Even if she smelled different at some points compared to others, Castti didn't know what it was the other girl was trying to imply. "I... I ran into Malaya again," Castti answered. 

"Malaya?" Partitio echoed. "That was the woman who helped you out back in Canalbrine, right?"

Castti nodded. "The very same. She... She was in all of my memories from today too. I was hoping she would be able to tell me something about the person I saw when I remembered the purple rain or what happened for me to end up int hat skiff, but... She left before I had the chance to ask her." She sighed and began to rub at the sorest spot on her head once more. "Every time we talk about my memories, it makes my head hurt a lot more than usual. She seemed to notice that, but she just... Disappeared. She didn't stay for any longer than she had to. I don't know what happened, but by the time I had collected myself again, I couldn't see her. She was just gone."

"I don't know why she keeps leaving you like this," Throné murmured. "If the two of you truly knew each other before you lost your memories, then I would expect her to want to do something to help you remember who she is and what your relationship was like. Why would she walk away when you were trying to talk to her?"

"I have no idea," Castti admitted. "But I wish she would just... Tell me. I can't keep guessing forever if she won't do anything to help me through it."

"You really do look worn out," Partitio frowned. "I mean, you were already exhausted after fightin' the sand lion, but you look worse for wear now than you did after that battle."

Castti hesitated, hating having to acknowledge that her pain was showing clearly enough for the rest of the group to notice it. Somehow, having to admit that she was struggling felt like a failure of some kind, and it made her skin feel like it was going to start crawling until it simply fled from her bones completely. "Physically, I'm healthy and whole," she murmured, looking down at her hands. She wasn't sure of how true that was given the ugly scarring hidden beneath her sleeves and gloves, but it felt like the only way she could think to phrase her issue. "My memory, on the other hand..."

"Don't push yourself too hard, you hear?" Partitio told her, unable to fully keep the concern off his face. Castti had to fight to keep from looking away from him because of how uncomfortable it made her to know that the rest of the group was worrying about her. She should have been taking care of others, and the thought of having to accept aid from those around her in such a vulnerable moment was almost too much to bear. "Losing memories... I can't imagine how hard that must be for you."

Castti didn't know if she even wanted to respond in full. She didn't want to end the conversation so abruptly, but she also had no idea of how she was meant to answer. She had admittedly been doing her best to avoid thinking about her missing memories because she knew it would only serve to further her distress, and she had been dealing with more than enough of that recently. Even so, Castti's lips found themselves moving, and she was simply dragged along for the ride. "I... Can't say. There's still so much I don't understand," she began. "It's like... There's something right in front of me, but I can only see its shadow. Isn't it odd to be so distressed by something that doesn't exist?" 

Saying that her memories didn't exist was an oversimplification, and Castti was fully aware of it. She knew for a fact there was some piece of them that was real, and that was the part that distressed her as much as it did. Everything about her past was simply out of her reach, given to her only through the knowledge of others. Her life had turned into a constant cycle of doubting what was real and struggling to believe what she knew had to be true, and she didn't know how much more of it she would be able to take. She needed to understand, but at the same time, it was too much. How could she grasp that which she was afraid to fully embrace?

Partitio seemed to have the same doubts she did about it truly not being real. "Maybe," he hummed. "If it doesn't exist, you wouldn't even know to let it bother you." There was some degree of legitimacy to what Castti was struggling with, and Partitio wanted her to know it. Castti appreciated it, but it still didn't feel like enough. Nothing felt like it would ever be enough until she was able to drag the past out of her sealed mind even if it was kicking and screaming the whole way through. 

"But with amnesia, that very void is what absorbs all my thoughts," Castti frowned. All of a sudden, she was staring down at the table, unable to bring her eyes to properly focus on anyone else around her. "It's like there's a huge hole in me. I feel an inexplicable sense of loss." She hadn't even realized it was possible to grieve for something she didn't understand. Castti knew there must have been something there in all the previous years of her life, but if she didn't understand anything, then... Then she was simply mourning ghosts, and she was chasing after something no one wanted her to be able to claim for her own. 

"Hrmm..." Partitio lingered on the noise for a long time until it quieted itself to sit in the back of his throat. "I'm havin' trouble picturin' what that's like..."

Castti couldn't say she was surprised to hear that. If anything, it would have been more shocking for someone else at the table to be able to say they knew what it was like to lose something so fundamental. None of them had expressed any issues with amnesia, and Castti was certain they would have talked about it already if it was a struggle they shared. She was simply going to have to find a way to push through it alone. Even though she had her friends there by her side to help her through it, none of them were quite able to understand what it was she was going through. The only one who could have guided her to the truth was gone, and Castti was left in pain each time she remembered her. It was more than she had ever thought she would have to bear... But even if she had thought this was waiting in her future, Castti wouldn't have known it. That knowledge would have been washed away along with everything else the purple rain seemingly stole from her. 

"Hello, everyone!"

Agnea's voice cut through Castti's thoughts, and she found herself strangely relieved to have the chance to pull herself away from her doubts. She didn't want to talk about her amnesia any more than she already had. She had dwelled on it for long enough. Now though, she didn't have to. Agnea was walking up to the table with Osvald on one side and Hikari and Temenos on the other. "I'm sorry if we're late," Agnea went on before settling into one of the seats around the table. "We lost track of time a little bit, but we were able to make it here in the end."

"I'm glad to see you were able to join us, Castti," Temenos remarked as he claimed his own chair. "Though if you end up feeling too nauseous to see the full meal through, then you should know that it would be more than fine for you to go back to the inn. We would be happy to bring you a bit of food if you decided you needed the extra rest."

Castti should have been grateful for Temenos' act of kindness, but she couldn't bring herself to thank him. Instead, she was filled with something deep and upset at the idea that she wouldn't be able to take care of herself in the eyes of her friends. That wasn't what Temenos meant at all, and she was fully aware of it, but she couldn't seem to get it out of her head once it settled in initially. "I'll be alright," Castti assured him. "I'm feeling better now." It was technically true, though Castti knew she probably wasn't feeling anywhere near as fine as the rest of the group would have wanted of her. At least she was making progress. That had to be worth something. 

"Now that we're all here together, I think we should discuss our plans for the next few days," Hikari suggested. "We're going to be returning to Conning Creek, but we haven't spoken much about what it is that we're going to be doing after that. Perhaps we should all think about what it is we have to accomplish on the eastern continent so that we can plan where we should be going from here."

"I agree," Partitio nodded, seemingly happy to move the conversation along from Castti's previous discomfort. He didn't want to push her more than was necessary, and Castti was glad for it. She didn't know what she would have done if he had asked her anything else about what it was like to suffer from amnesia. "We can head out for Connin' Creek in the mornin', but until then, we've still got one more night here. Let's lay out all of our plans and go from there."

Castti nodded as the conversation sparked up again. She waited as long as possible to mention that she needed to go to Winterbloom even though the rest of the group already knew. She couldn't seem to figure out if she wanted to go there as soon as possible or not, and at this point, she was almost certain she was too afraid to even try to find out. 

She was too afraid to learn more about her memories, and it was going to be her burden to bear whether she liked it or not. 

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And there's the end of Castti's section for her chapter two in Sai! Yay!

I wound up breaking the script a little bit by putting in an extra scene for Malaya here. You as the player run into Malaya after completing either Sai or Winterbloom depending on which of the two is second, so I figured it would only be fitting to give her something here so she had a little more time in the spotlight. I thought it would be a cute addition, especially since you can't really do that with any of the other route split ending cutscenes. So here we are. 

I also finally used Partitio and Castti's travel banter for this chapter! I changed the tone of it quite a bit and shifted the ending considerably too since it was a little bit too jokey for the context I wanted to use it for here. So Castti poking fun at Partitio is going to have to wait until another time. Sorry about that, everyone. They'll get another chance for this. 

Next time, we're going to kick off Partitio's first Scent of Commerce and then use that to wrap up the chapter twos! Until then, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Comments and kudos are appreciated as always. Have a nice day, everyone!

-Digital