The surgery in total lasts 8 hours, and even after the fact, no one is allowed to see Max. I stand in the hallway with Robert as the doctor talks to us.

"Overall, we think the surgery went well. It's now a matter of waiting until he wakes up to see the overall impact on his brain. We just have to wait." I want to scream at him that we have been waiting. This whole time, in this tiny waiting room, we've been waiting for news.

"Okay, thank you so much," Robert says, shaking the doctor's hand. We head back in and I let Robert's voice fade into the background as he explains the news to the rest of them. Glancing at my phone, I notice Alec should be landing soon. It's almost 9 pm, but I don't feel tired. Adrenaline and nervousness have replaced the blood in my veins, I could probably run a marathon right now if I had to.

Sliding into my jacket, I stuff my phone into my pocket.

"Are you heading to the airport?" Izzy asks and I nod. "I'll come." Standing, she slides into her own jacket. We walk silently out into the hall and towards the exit of the hospital.

"It's nice out tonight," I comment, not necessarily because it's nice, but to fill the silence. She nods and reaches out, looping her arm through mine.

"I know you and Alec have been going through a rough time. But I'm glad you're here. He'll need you, more than ever, and more than he'll admit." I nod understandingly. I'll be here, for him, for Izzy, for everyone.

"I know." I assure her as I open the passenger door, helping her into the car. She looks tired, and has every right to. "Just rest on the way to the airport, okay?" She nods, reclining the seat slightly. I take her hand in mine, grounding her here, and as I head out onto the freeway, she falls asleep.

The drive to the airport isn't too long, but it's long enough that Izzy gets a decent sleep. When I park, she wakes up and we head inside to wait.

Alec calls me about 20 minutes later.

"We just landed, are you here?" He asks, exhaustion and fear heavy on his tongue.

"Just outside the gates," I reply softly. We stay on the phone together until I see him and Meliorn coming towards us. With no reserve, he drops his bag, running to us. Izzy and I engulf him and I feel his tears soaking into my neck and the collar of my shirt. His hand tangles in the fabric of my jacket and I try to absorb as much of his pain as I can. I thank Mel quietly and watch as he takes his leave.

"It's going to be alright, my love, just breathe," I try to console him as best as I can, despite knowing it's fruitless. There's nothing in the world that can ease these nerves. I'm glad that the press has yet to catch wind of the situation. The last thing we need is media intervention right now. When he's calmed down, we head back to the hospital.

In the small waiting room, Maryse and Robert are talking. When we walk in, Maryse all but runs over, pulling Alec against her. He lets her, leaning into her embrace. I wonder, despite the morbidity of it all, if this situation will change things. If, instead of pushing him away, she'll embrace Alexander, if nothing else, for the fear of time being lost.

Jace comes into the room from wherever he was and pulls Alec close. I'm glad they have each other, glad that Alec has so much love surrounding him.

When we sit, Alec tucks himself against my side and I hold him close. Another couple hours pass by before the doctor returns.

"Max is starting to wake up, so if the parents want to come see him first, you're more than welcome." Nodding, Robert leads Maryse out and they follow the doctor down the hallway. Alec is tense against me and I press my lips to his temple.

"Do you think the brain injury is bad?" He whispers. I rest my forehead against the side of his head.

"I'm not sure darling." He nods and leans further into me. When Maryse and Robert return, we stand.

"The rest of you can go see him." Robert says, smiling softly. "Just know he's a little different right now."

"Different how?" Jace asks slowly.

"The doctor thinks it may be a traumatic brain injury. He's sensitive to sounds right now, so stay quiet. And his motor skills are off, as well as his speech. Just be patient and understanding." We all nod as we head down to his room. Upon entering, a wave of shock courses through me.

Max has gauze and casts almost everywhere, predominantly on the left side of his body where he took the most impact. His eyes are half-lidded as he assesses us.

"Hey, buddy. So good to see you awake," Jace says softly, kneeling down beside the bed and gently taking Max's hand. Max smiles, a little lopsided and glances at his hand in Jace's.

"Mhm," he hums in response, eyes flicking up to the rest of us.

"Alec...why're you home?" He slurs, prompting my boyfriend to step around Jace and perch on the bed lightly, reaching out to tuck a mismanaged lock of hair behind Max's ear.

"I came home early, missed you too much." His composure is neat and impressive, considering I could just sob right now. Izzy moves to the other side of her brother, playing softly with his hair.

I stay near Alec, joining in the slow conversation for a little while until it's time to let Max rest. He's okay, I remind myself, as okay as we can hope for. Luckily, his friend and father are in better shape than him.

As we exit the room, Alec leans against me, body heavy.

"I think Maryse and I are going to stay the night here," Robert explains. "Go on home, get some rest. We'll see you all in the morning."

We pile into my car and I make the drive to the Lightwood house. Once there, we all head inside. A somber atmosphere hangs over us like a crowd and the house is desolate and hollow without Max's laughter to fill the silence.

"I'm going to head to bed," Jace says, eyelids heavy and tired. Alec nods and squeezes his brother's shoulder briefly. It's nearing 2:30 in the morning, the night quiet and warm around us. I wrap an arm around Izzy, pressing my lips to her temple softly.

"Go get some sleep, Isabelle. You need it." She glances up at me through her thick, dark lashes, eyes watery and lost. Finding a smile inside that I don't particularly feel, I guide her towards the stairs. Mouthing a soft 'goodnight', she heads away and leaves Alec and I in the dark living room.

"You must be jet lagged," I assume, making my way back over to him. His hairs a mess, eyes rimmed red and his outfit dishevelled.

"I don't know what I feel," he confesses quietly, reaching up with one hand to push his knotted hair back.

"Come here, love," Alexander falls into my arms, his head nuzzling into the hollow of my neck, fists finding home in the back of my jacket. Even with adrenaline and the nagging panic inside of me, I feel stronger with Alec here. He reminds me that at one point, I was the rock in our relationship. His need for my love and comfort pushes me into what I've been missing, forces me to be strong for him.

It isn't long until his exhaustion wins out and we make our way upstairs. It's been so long since we've been in this bedroom. The blue duvet that I bought him when we were teens is laid out neatly on the bed. There are various photographs of flowers and of the two of us in senior year tacked on the walls, changes to the once white, cryptic room that reflect that brilliant evolution of Alexander Lightwood.

As we undress, I think back to what we once thought was the hard times. I think about the break up we had, the way the loneliness and pain seemed to swallow me whole. Now, having grown up a little, having experienced more, I realize that we had no idea what pain was.

Pain is in this room, a second skin, suffocating. It clings to words left unsaid between us, because no length of vocabulary can change what's happening.

Pain has been the only constant in either of our lives lately. We've been suffocating ourselves, draining ourselves of happiness and love in favour of the discomfort and pain in our lives.

"He's going to be okay," I find myself saying as we crawl into bed, finding each other beneath the sheets and holding tightly.

"How do you know?" He sounds so small it pulls at my heart enough to make my chest hurt.

"Because life wouldn't be so unfair." I reason pathetically. But Alec smiles, so slightly that I almost miss it.

"Hasn't it been pretty unfair lately?"

I pause for a moment before shrugging. "I guess so. That just means we've earned something good, right?" Alec tucks his head beneath my chin and relaxes as I draw random shapes on his bare back.

He falls asleep eventually, and though sleep evades me, I relax with my arms wrapped around my favourite human, his heartbeat next to mine and a feeling of content surrounding our tangled bodies.

Even in the darkest times, we find light in each other. We accept the presence of pain, of sadness, of uncertainty in each other because there's beauty in weakness and strength in the ability to grow.

Alec has always been beautiful, but right now, with his skin so warm and pliable, his heartbeat steady and slowly right beneath my own, his tangled hair a mess and his fear and vulnerability hanging on his features like a sign, he's never been more gorgeous.

He's never been more real to me, and it's shocking. This realization that there's still so much to learn about each other, that we still have so much life in our relationship.

Smiling softly to myself, my heart and mind finally ease and I fall asleep, content to wade through the pain for whatever is waiting on the other side.