I groaned as I opened my eyes to the loud ringing of my phone. My throat was sore, and even the act of swallowing my own saliva made me frown in pain. Maybe crying myself to sleep wasn't such a good idea after all. 

"Veil" by Keina Suda rang through my ears for a while as I stared at my screen. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that a song like this would resonate with my soul. I took a deep breath and slid my finger across the green button to pick up the call. 

"Hey..." 

Neither of us said anything for a good 5 seconds. 

"Hey..." I replied in an embarrassingly raspy voice. 

"So, I just finished packing up all of our stuff. Is there anything that you want me to drop at yours?" 

His voice was the same as always. Soothing in a way. A voice I would probably never end up hearing again. 

"No, it's alright. You can keep everything. I have enough stuff here already." 

"Alright. Bye." 

Beep. 

I sighed. What else could I do? All I could wonder was whether he was happy or not. His voice sounded as upbeat as ever. It was so odd not hearing our usual 'I love you'. Did he feel as empty as I did? 

I turned around and lay on my back, staring that the white, stained ceiling, wishing it would crash down on me and suffocate me alive. It took me a second to realize that the moonlight was shining straight into my room, making me realize I slept a little over 24 hours. I forced myself up, telling myself that I can't keep sulking like this forever. Whatever happened, happened. It's not like I can change anything. All the self-respect I had was already thrown out the window the moment I begged him to stay in my life two days ago. 

I dragged my feet to the kitchen and grabbed a pack of ramen. I had no energy whatsoever, but at least I was making sure that there was something going into my belly. 

The water started boiling in no time. My gaze latched onto the bubbling water, remembering the millions of times when we would make noodles together. He never liked his fancy. He just always followed the packaged instructions. But he always went out of his way to add some boiled eggs or sausages in mine. A tear slipped down my cheek as my heart started pounding. One tear turned into two, and then two turned into many. And before I could even realize, they just wouldn't stop. 

Maybe I will never be enough. 

---

"We've noticed that your numbers are dropping. I understand that there are things you're going through, but this is affecting our client." 

I stared at my manager, nodding my head as she spoke. 

She sighed. "Look, the only thing I can do for you right now is give you a trial period. You will be given 3 weeks. And if your performance gets better within these 3 weeks, we'll move on like nothing ever happened. Okay?" 

"Understood. Thank you for granting me another chance." 

The smile on my face soon transformed into a sigh of relief as soon as the call ended. I was so certain that I was just about to be laid off, but I guess pity does get you somewhere, sometimes. I turned off my laptop, grateful for the fact that it was finally the weekend. 

Damn, Dave. You could have at least waited until Friday to break up. 

The notification sound of my phone snapped me back to reality. It was Kelly, my best friend, asking me to go out with her tonight. I froze. When was the last time I went out with friends in the last 5 years of my life? 

'Yeah, sure. Pick me up at 7?' 

'Deal.'

I sighed and plopped on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Kelly and I have been best friends for 11 years now. Could I even call myself a best friend at this point? 

A pang of guilt made me feel heavy. 

I was never there for her. There were moments where we would randomly hit each other up after a few months to see what had changed in life, but that was about it. I was never there for her when things got hard. They were just updates where I would feel guilty afterward and then... Still not change my behavior. Even with all of that, she was still willing to catch up again and be there for me. 

"Wow, Dahlia," I raised my arm and stretched out my fingers. "You deserve to rot in hell." 

When 6 PM rolled around, I rushed to the bathroom and took a quick shower. After that, I stood in front of my closet, staring at the emptiness of it, feeling defeated. All I had were the old clothes I wore years ago. The weight gain wasn't making the process any easier, either. The gloom started taking over again as I rummaged through everything. In the end, I still went with what could barely fit me now. An old pair of jeans along with one of my old plain gray shirts. I wore my single piece of jewelry, which was a golden ring I had gotten from my mother. 

The reflection staring back at me almost made me want to barf. Seeing my on reflection after a month of avoiding it sure takes a toll on you. Who the fuck had I become? Not that I ever found myself beautiful, but for the love of god I could not understand if it was me or a giant piece of mushroom staring back at me. 

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I wasn't going to take it. No, I have to get out of the house for a bit. 

I belligerently wiped the tears away, and brushed my bushy, shittily dyed hair. It was going to be alright. No one's gonna look at a fat pig like me anyway. I'll just be invisible. Who cares? 

I finished my look up with some lipstick and made my way outside after locking up the house. The sound of the leaves rustling was the only thing that made the neighborhood look alive. It only made me start wondering if this place was always as dead as it seemed. There were no cars, no people walking outside. 

Meow! 

A sudden sound nearly made me jump out of my skin. Breathing heavily, I stared at the little black fur ball in the bushes behind me. It was already dark, but with the dim streetlights across the street, I could actually see its eyes glistening. 

Meow!

I frowned and slowly approached the kitten. It was small, very malnourished, and seemed like it could barely even walk. Not caring about anything else, I kneeled on the ground and stretched out my arm, hoping the kitten would sniff me. I've never had a pet before, so I could not even understand the situation right now. I didn't even know why I was even caring about this. 

My eyes widened in surprise when the kitten sniffed me and started licking the tip of my finger. At that moment, it felt like everything stood still. Even the sound of the rustling leaves seemed to have died down. For a moment it felt like we were the only two beings alive on this cursed rock floating through space. 

A smile spread across my face and my voice softened. 

"Where did you come from, little guy?"