Madeline

Sweat beaded on my neck as I stood in the midday sun. I resisted the urge to pace the sidewalk, and I kept eyeing the clock on the coffee shop wall through the lightly tinted glass. Ten minutes.

What would make me come so early? Well, not having a job was one. Walking a few applications to the perspective new employers that still took paper applications on my way was another. When everyone else my age seemed to have a college education and still couldn't find a job, what chance did I have?

With a sigh, I glanced at the clock again. Nine minutes to go.

And I was nervous as hell. Caspian could be anybody. He could be a... a mobster? Not likely, but you can't rule these things out. A creep? A stalker? I mean, I couldn't explain how he knew about my problems in the water or with my voice. Those aren't things I've said out loud to anyone, there's no way he could know my inner thoughts.

Unless he could read minds?

I looked at the clock. Eight minutes.

Or maybe he's genuinely who he seems to be. A homesick businessman who sometimes went around in an open shirt on the beach. With such a smooth voice, and broad shoulders, and the way his presence snapped me out of it so I could tell off Trent.

My tongue darted out to wet my dry lips.

Big dick energy.

Seven minutes.

But I'm not stupid. That's why you take precautions like meeting at a coffee shop where the staff knows you. In the middle of the day it would be hard for him to cause a scene and get away with it. Right? Was I being as smart as I could about this situation?

"Hello, Madeline." Caspian was here. He called to me from the other direction, and I spun around to face him.

He was wearing another sharp business outfit and I was just a little disappointed he wasn't in an open shirt again. Instead he had a silk tie, neat slacks, polished shoes.

And here I was in a ratty high school tank top and flip flops. Attractive.

"Hey," I replied, my voice cracking and I internally kicked myself.

It's one thing to want answers from him, but could my traitorous body just not be so easily horny for one second of my life?

His eyes glanced down my form and back up to my eyes. "You look lovely today."

"Same," I breathed. "I mean-"

A dark chuckle from Caspian had me closing my eyes and my face heating up.

"Where would you like to eat? My treat, of course." Caspian smiled, putting his hands in his pockets.

I bit my lip. I had thought a lot about this, just in case. "Do you like fish?"

He looked like he was holding back a smile. "Yes, you could say that."

I blushed, he had dimples! How had I not noticed them before?

Focus, Maddie.

"Right, you're from an island. Sorry." I stood awkwardly, one hand holding onto the opposite arm. "My favorite fish taco place is just around the corner from here. I hope that's not too casual of a place for you."

"Not at all," Caspian said, tilting his head. "I've never had them before, it will be a new experience. Lead the way."

I gave him a small smile, my confidence building. He didn't give off any creepy vibes. In fact, he looked just like the kind of guy I'd hit on, but maybe with a little more class. Definitely an upgrade from Trent. He still looked like he had a bit of stubble on his strong jawline, just like the first time I met him. His eyes were so blue, they were like a reflection of the ocean. Mine were blue too, but it's not like I could stare into my own eyes. Not the way I could stare at Caspian's.

"Madeline?" Caspian jolted me from my thoughts.

My eyes widened. Had I just been staring at him this whole time?

"Right, this way." I blushed, turning on my heel and marching toward the taco place.

Idiot! This is how I'm going to get kidnapped or murdered or something one of these days. Keep it in your pants, Madeline. He's not here for a date.

We walked in silence. Me not knowing what to say and Caspian seemingly comfortable with no conversation as he strolled along beside me.

Once we rounded the corner of the block past the coffee shop, I could see the green and blue waves painted on the shaded food stall. It was an old shipping container with a sunshade added to the front of it. It had an open window running along the whole front side with a wooden bar and bar stools for customers to eat right there and watch the food being made. The far end was an order window where a small line was already forming for people wanting to grab lunch and go. It was the opposite direction from the beach, but that didn't stop the locals from buying tacos and walking down to the water.

And best of all, it was extremely visible. A good place to meet a somewhat stranger.

We stopped at the back of the line and Caspian read the chalkboard menu. "What do you recommend?"

"If you like spicy food, I recommend the volcano special. If not, get the house tacos, they're the best."

Caspian nodded, looking down to me with a small smile. "So what will you have, Madeline?"

"Two volcanoes," I said, looking up at the menu. "And a bottle of water, please?"

"You like it spicy?" He winked.

Goosebumps ran down my spine and landed right in the bottom of my stomach. Good god, who did he have to sell his soul to so he could talk like that? I looked away before I could feel my face heat up from his teasing.

"I guess I do," I said, focusing really really hard on a tree across the street.

He chuckled, but didn't press further.

The line moved quick enough, and we made light conversation about the menu and what exactly went into a fish taco. Once we got our food, Caspian led us to the barstools and we sat down next to each other.

He bit into his food, he got one of each of my recommendations, and his eyes lit up.

"Good, right?" I asked.

He took a napkin and wiped his mouth before answering. "Yes, very."

I couldn't believe I was already having such easy conversations with Caspian. The amount spilling out of my mouth surprised me but I found that I wasn't bothered by it either.

"Did you think I was lying when I said they were the best?" I teased.

He chuckled. "No, but you forget I come from an island. It's hard to beat seafood as fresh as your backyard."

"Heh, I guess." I played with the cap of my water bottle. "So... I want to know what you mean about my voice."

His eyebrows rose a bit in surprise. His eyes flicked around us, making sure no one was eavesdropping. "Getting right into it are we?"

"My stupid voice has caused me more grief in my life," I admitted. "I never told anyone, I thought they would think I was out of my right mind or something. But you know about it. Actually, I kinda freaked out for a whole day before I decided to call you. I just want to know what you know."

Caspian nodded. "Understandable. I can only imagine what you've been through among people who don't know how to handle the sway."

I let out a slow breath, nodding. "So, what is the sway?"

He gave me a soft laugh before answering. "You already know what it is, you just never had a name for it before."

With a frown, I took another bite and chewed slowly, letting the volcano special burn my tongue as I thought about it.

It's such a confusing thing. I was a teenager before I figured out not everyone's voice was like this. Sometimes I speak and people want to just... give me what I want. But it's gone in an instant and I couldn't convince myself it had really happened. Other times, I speak and it grabs intense attention, and not in a good way. If there was a trick to making it work on purpose, I wanted to know about it. More importantly, I wanted to know how to turn it off.

"Can I get rid of it?" I asked quietly, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Madeline." His voice was so soft, so concerned that I couldn't help but look at him. His expression matched his concerned tone.

"No," he murmured. "I don't know if there's a way to get rid of it. I've never met someone who wanted to."

The salty air and the screaming gulls filled our otherwise silent moment. The smell of fried food from the taco stand swept around us in a light afternoon breeze. Taking another bite, I pushed back the conversation again until I could work up the nerve to lighten my voice in a poor attempt to erase whatever seriousness I had brought forth just now.

I swallowed my bite before speaking again. "Doesn't it work on you?"

He raised an eyebrow. "It's easier to resist when you know about it, but yes it would work on me too."

"So, you really won't tell me where you're from?" I pressed again.

"You're not using nearly enough of the sway to make me tell you that, Madeline." Caspian grinned and took another bite of his own lunch.

I sighed through my nose, trying to figure out where that sway thing came from. Of course I knew what he was talking about, and I had felt something work when I spoke before. The problem is, I couldn't do it on command, and I definitely couldn't stop my voice from doing it after it decided to start.

"Tell me," I insisted.

He just chuckled and took another bite.

Now I closed my eyes, concentrating on what it felt like those times my voice did that aggravating thing.

"Tell me, Caspian." I said, more demanding this time.

He just shook his head. "No. You don't want it bad enough."

My shoulders drooped as I gave up trying. "There's no on button for it?"

Caspian shook his head. "They say it has something to do with feeling in control. And something about your mood and your body. I couldn't explain correctly I'm sure, but if it helps, you were using the sway on the phone before."

That caught my attention. "I was?"

"Yes, can you remember how you were feeling when you asked me about your voice?" he asked.

I had to think about it. Control, huh? Well, I may not have control over a lot of things in my life right now, but I did feel in control on the phone after we got more comfortable. I was the one who decided to reach out, I got to decide when and where to meet, and if I was being honest with myself, I was remembering how Caspian looked on the beach with his open shirt.

I blushed while Caspian studied my face as I went through the memory of the call.

He smiled. "Everything okay? Did you remember how you felt?"

I nodded. "Let me try again."

"Here, let me help you out," Caspian said, turning to face me. "A lot of them say they can feel it right... here."

He reached out, his fingertips lightly touching a spot just under the base of my neck.

"Does that make sense?" he asked.

My eyes widened. "I've... I tried so many times to make it work and I thought it was about the words I chose. I thought I was making it all up in my head."

"Try again," Caspian urged gently. "But this time, try it from there, in your chest."

Squaring my shoulders, sitting up confidently on the stool, and letting myself enjoy the view of Caspian in his sharp outfit, I took a breath.

You're the one in control here, Madeline. This is your town, your lunch spot, your meeting.

Looking up into Caspian's eyes, I asked the question again with a calm tone, a hand over the spot where my skin could still feel the soft brush of his fingertips. "Caspian, will you tell me where you come from?"

I felt it. Subtle, but there. That feeling that I sometimes got in my chest when my voice did something problematic.

 It took me years to equate the feeling with the outcome, but now there were no doubts. It was sort of like a muscle and I could flex it if I tried.

His lips parted, his eyes widening a fraction as he began to smile.

"Atlantis," he said softly.

I frowned, smacking my hand on the counter. "Dammit, I thought I had it that time."

"Madeline." Caspian put his hand over mine, surprising me as I looked into his eyes again. "You did. I'm not lying when I say the name of my city is Atlantis."

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded. "It wasn't the strongest use of your voice but I could tell you figured it out. Partly at least."

"Huh." Atlantis.

Maybe it was a translation thing. He had a clear accent after all. Or it could just be a frivolous name the island chose based on the legends. But something told me he was being truthful. He really was from someplace called Atlantis.

"So, I really did do it?" I asked, cautiously excited.

He nodded. "It was light, but it was there."

My heart pounded. Could I really learn to control this? If I could make myself do it, could I make myself not do it? That would be the bigger accomplishment.

"Okay," I said. "How do I keep doing that? I want to get better."

Caspian hummed, tilting his head and looking at me thoughtfully. "Practice, Madeline." The taunting shape of his mouth was frustrating.

I drummed my fingers on the counter in annoyance and he laughed.

"Okay," I said. "I think I understand. It's a confidence thing, right? Everyone loves confident people, that doesn't mean I have some kind of special voice."

"Try it again, then. Not on me, on someone you know isn't' aware of it," Caspian said. "Try it on a stranger. Try it on..."

Caspian looked around us. The street was busy enough. The line for tacos had gotten longer. There were people who worked in the neighborhood out on their lunch breaks. There was a couple walking a dog, some kids playing, and other people just milling about or walking toward the beach.

Caspian pointed to a man standing on a corner nearby, pulling a stick of gum from his pocket.

"Him. Go ask him for a stick of gum," Caspian said.

Frowning, I sat up straighter on the hard stool. "Does it have to be a guy?"

I could feel Caspian's sharp eyes on me for a moment before he slid them back to the target. "No, it doesn't. If you don't feel ready to try-"

"No, no. It's not that." I licked my dry lips, my eyes roaming the sidewalks around us for a different stranger, but coming up with no new ideas of what to try. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked up at Caspian.

"Maybe we shouldn't push it," Caspian offered.

Shaking my head, I scooted off the stool. "No, I need to do something about this problem, and practice is the only way to get the hang of it. I'm going over there."

"You're sure?"

No. "Yeah."

"It won't be weird to him if you use the sway," Caspian insisted. "Go on, try it on him. The worst that could happen is a stranger tells you no. And I'll be right here if you need me."

Staring at Caspian, I wanted to believe him. Years of experience wouldn't let me trust him in that way yet, but it meant a lot that he would offer. If I was going to test this out, I was going to do it on my own. I took a deep breath. "Fine. I'll try it."

Standing up from my stool, I took one more bite of my lunch to stall and build myself up. I glanced at Caspian, but he just gestured at me to get on with it.

I swallowed. "Okay, fine."

Clearing my throat, I lifted my chin and squared my shoulders. Then, I walked. That kind of walk you do when you're in control of the situation. I wasn't sure if I really was in control of anything, but at least I could pretend, right?

The guy down the sidewalk was playing with his phone now, not really paying attention to his surroundings. He had a frat boy air about him and he wore sunglasses with a backwards hat and basketball shorts. The glasses made me nervous since I couldn't see his expression, but it was too little too late to change my mind because I walked close enough that he looked up at me.

I took in a sharp breath, then forced the confident posture back into my body. "Hey, can I have a stick of gum?"

My heart was pounding in my chest, blood drumming in my ears as I watched his reaction even as I felt nothing from that place in my throat. Panicking, I added another word with one firm push from my throat. "Please?"

He looked at me for a minute, moved his shades down to get a better view, then pulled the pack of gum from his pocket.

"Sure thing, gorgeous. Here you go." He handed me a stick and I took it with a shocked smile.

It worked? Was it really this fucking simple that I just needed to be told where it came from? Or maybe I just needed someone to believe me, to confirm I wasn't making it all up in the first place.

But I wasn't quite convinced that the last attempt actually added any sway. My shoulders sank. No, no need to get excited. It could just be a guy giving gum to a girl on the street.

"Are you from around here?" he asked. "Are you free right now?"

Whoops. Back up.

"I'm actually busy right now..." I looked back to the taco stand, debating on asking for help. Caspian had a hand on the counter, starting to stand up as his face turned to concern. I shook my head slightly. Turning back to the gum guy, I took a nervous step backwards. I wanted to try this on my own, no backup. Not just yet.

"Maybe later then?" he asked, his eyes roaming up and down as he enjoyed the view.

Oh. Oh no. Now I could see it crystal clear. This is exactly what happens before I get into stalker territory and the guy calls me a bitch for leading him on.

I took a deep breath, forcing a firmness into my words.

"No, thank you. I have to go."

"You come around here much?" He pressed on, ignoring what I had said. 

My heart beat in my chest hard, my breath catching in my throat as the panic began to set in. I'd done whatever it is my voice always did, but I couldn't do the intentional thing that Caspian was trying to describe.

He took a step forward, holding out a hand. "I could grab your number for later?"

Panic shot up my throat, tightening it as my shoulders tensed. "No, please."

"Come on," he said. "I won't bite."

My eyes flew shut, my head turned down to the ground as I braced for... I don't know what but I was braced for it. Then I felt a heat at my back as someone closed in right behind me.

"She said no." Caspian's voice came in calm but firm.

Looking up at the scene, the guy's attention was now over my head and eye to eye with Caspian. He backed off immediately, albeit with a frown on his face as he shook his head, as if snapping out of a daydream.

"Whatever." Gum guy turned to me with a confused look on his face, then spun and walked away down the sidewalk.

My breath was shaky, my arms starting to tremble.

"Madeline," Caspian tried to get my attention. "Madeline!"

Startled, I looked at him.

"I'm sorry I even suggested it. This was not your fault, okay? I see now how big of a problem this is for you."

A tear pricked at my eye and I wiped it away furiously with the heel of my hand. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought I could do it."

"Shh, no." Caspian rubbed a big hand on my back. "I'm the one who's sorry. Come on, let's get you away from here. How about a coffee to settle your nerves?"

I didn't have the words, so I just nodded and followed Caspian back to the taco stand where he cleaned up the trash from our lunch, then we turned down the road to the coffee shop where we had met. He settled me on a bench outside and got my order from me, returning a few minutes later with an iced latte in hand.

"Here, drink."

I obliged.

"I had no idea it could be that bad," he murmured. "I really wish you could talk to one of the women back home, you need their help."

My face strained. "I wish. I can't afford to travel abroad or anything. Maybe in a few years I can save up and..." The thought trailed off. And what? Get a fresh start again? I'd already done it once when I came down to Florida but that hadn't gotten me much. Some sunshine and ocean, which made me happy, but I was struggling harder down here to keep a roof over my head than I ever did in Michigan.

"I could take you there, you know," Caspian said softly.

"I'm not in any position right now to sail away with a man I just met a few days ago. No offense."

"Absolutely none taken. I understand completely, I just wish I could make this easier for you." Caspian sighed, taking a drink from his own cup before staring down the road to the thin line of blue ocean at the end of it. "Would you like to practice on someone less intimidating? Someone who couldn't hurt you if he tried, and who I could keep in line?"

My eyes shifted to Caspian with suspicion. "Who?"

"My cousin Nikkos. You saw him at the coffee shop. And he's familiar with the sway, it won't drive him to do something stupid."

"It doesn't affect him?"

"It's not that, it's just that Nikkos and I are used to it, so we know what it is. The people from here, they don't know what it is coming over them. I'm sure they can get a little wild from it."

Nodding, I took another sip from my drink, not letting myself dwell on past experiences any more than I had to.

"So, would you like to practice some more under safer circumstances?" he asked.

His expression was so earnest. And it was help I desperately needed.

Maybe I could still master this trick before he went back home. Maybe I could at least believe in that moment, and do it again. And if I could spend some more time with Caspian, that was just a bonus.

The gum was still in my hand from when the guy handed it to me, but I really didn't want it. Not yet. "Here, I want you to hold onto this until I can make you give it to me for real."

"Are you sure?" Caspian looked down at the gum then back up at me. "Does this mean I can still try to help you?"

"Yeah. I don't want this back until I've earned it, if you'll help me."

Caspian took it with gentle hands. "Happily, Madeline."

And somehow this man's smile melted a layer of my shell. Letting out a slow breath, I looked down the street to the line of deep blue water, then back to Caspian.

"Maddie," I said. "Please, call me Maddie."