A billion droplets of rain patter the ground. The weather synergizes with my mood and aids my desire to lay in bed and read November 9.

My phone vibrates and because I think it is Itika, who I have been strangely thinking about while reading, I reach for it only to see Sammy. I sigh before balancing the book on my bare breast. I watch the phone ring and just before it stops ringing, I answer. Now, I feel even worse. His wobbly voice irritates my ear and although I am not listening to what he is saying, a few words do not go unnoticed: Sorry. It was the devil. She was the one who came up to me. I really love you.
But you didn't think about that when you were 'filling her up' I remain quiet until his voice fades, causing a certain night I had never wanted to end to recollect itself.

Just like today, rain fell on that night.

I had just entered a blue gown and was applying lipgloss before an oval mirror when the first billow of cold wind disturbed the curtains. Even without the thunder that came after, I knew it would rain before it started raining.

Yet, I got a call which I answered before the second ring.

"Are you ready?" Sammy asked. It was as if I could sense his smile.

"Are you not seeing this rain?" I sighed and slumped on the bed.

"Rain. What rain?"

"I can hear it patter against your roof. Wait.
Why does it sound like you are in your car?"

Aside from the patter of rain on the roof, I heard the music playing low. It was a song we both loved and agreed to only listen to when we were together.

"You this girl, who says patter?"

"Do you even read the books you collect from me?"

He chuckled. "Are you coming or what?"

"Where are you?"

"Just parked outside your gate."

"I will be wet before I reach there."

"Wet huh?"

I reply sharply. "Naughty boy. I am serious. All the umbrellas are with Hanna and I fit fall as I dey run."

"Oya, I will be waiting under the rain. And pigen no fit you, stop trying too hard."

I blushed and at that time, I couldn't think of a better feeling. How foolish.

"But the rain has spoilt the whole thing."
As in a romance novel I read, we would have driven to a huge mango tree at the end of the estate, laid a blanket over the grass, and do it there. Afterward, a game of Truth with the same question asked in the book, would be played. We even went out of our way (not really) to get the described clothes the characters wore at that scene. On my head, I wore a short-fringed wig, the white canvas that covered my feet complemented the blue uniform-like gown. The character sold popcorn behind a counter in a mall and her lover picked her up right after work.

Sammy was to wear a plain white v-neck t-shirt over beach shorts and Nike slides. But nothing about his car was supposed to be modest.

"It didn't scatter anything," Sammy said, "We are going to write our own story."

"You just somehow say the right things."

"Just come already, I can not wait to fill you up." Then, I thought the phrase was specifically coined for me. How foolish!

"In your car?" I asked but he hung up before the question rolled off my lips.

I had played that scenario through my mind one too many times, and apart from when he reclined his seat, I saw no other way it would be comfortable. Even that wasn't completely comfortable as I would later find out.

Then, we had a gateman named Maru who I had known all my life until the ghastly accident that claimed his life. Before Maru opened the gate, he asked where I was headed and I told him, 'Sammy's' with enough gravity that explained my eagerness to move under the rain. And no, I couldn't see him after the rain. Maru stretched his umbrella but I rejected it. The water poured in torrents and I was drenched before I reached his dad's Benz. As promised, he stood under the rain, waiting. Smiling.

Who knew his once glorious voice will now irritate me as much as it does. I will not say I am pained but something in me is spoiled beyond repair.

"Sammy. Sammy." I loop his flow of words. "Sammy. Sammy." He is quiet now. "What do you want me to do?"

"Forgive. Just forgive me. Please."

I do not feel any bitterness especially aimed at him. I had already prepared to detach myself from him before what happened, happened. It was like adding kerosene to fire I stared and intended to fuel. He only did my job.

"Okay. I forgive you." Anything to get him off the phone.

"Babe. I am really sorry."

like static, the word, babe, irritates my ear. "Please don't call me that."

The silence is uncomfortable for him, I guess, but I hope it will continue until it is comfortable for me to hang up.

"I thought you said you have forgiven me?" His voice is low and slow.

My face scrunches as I ask, "What does that mean?"

"But you said you have forgiven me."

"Ehen, it doesn't give you the right to call me that."

"Are we not together..." He didn't even believe it.

I chuckled. "Together how? Are you even serious?"

"I don't have anything to do with Prisca. Again."

"This has nothing to do with Prisca," which was a lie. "Can you see the distance? And to be honest, I don't trust you anymore."

A call comes over his call. I look to see Itika's name bounce on the screen.

"Actually," I interject before he starts talking, "I have to answer this call." which I know fully well will put him on hold if I do.

I sit up and prop on the head of the bed.

"Hey." Itika's voice is like fresh air ventilating a stuffy room.

"Hey too."

I twirl the end on my braid, my mind eager to forward any conversation he starts. It will be better than what Sammy was saying, or the dread I am consciously suppressing.

"I have been holding myself from calling you," he says.

"Why? Why were you holding yourself?"

"I don't know." he laughs and my lip tears in a smile. "But I couldn't hold for long."

"I was about to call you too." I lied.

"What stopped you?"

"The moment I picked up my phone to call, my ex called."

The silence forces me to ask, "Are you there?"

"Yeah... I am. I just don't know what to say."

I can lead the conversation if that is what he wants. "He said he is sorry. He was just crying. I was lost. So lost." I said between chuckles.

The silence stretches enough to make me uncomfortable. “Are you there?"

"What if... What if ooo... What if I hurt you, will you forgive me?"

D E S I R E S

The next chapter comes on 20/2/22

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