[trigger warning]
"...Mr Hummel?", my teacher said from far away, patting my back uncomfortably. I blinked my eyes open, feeling the world spinning around me as I threw my head up, almost smashing my teacher's hand. I looked from one side of the room to another - everyone was staring at me.
"...what?", I said, barely hearing myself, my sight flicking from reality to blackness in front of me.
"You passed out under the test, Mr Hummel. It's okay. It's normal to be stressed around this time of the year", I nodded, still looking at her with a confused look. I can't remember a thing. I looked down on the test - I was halfway through. But it was a blur. I couldn't remember. I started breathing heavily, feeling the others drifting away from me, a bubble of glass forming around me. "Um, Mr Hummel, maybe you should go to the nurse?"
You need to finish the test, you idiot.
"B-bu...t", I protested, and she just shook her head, cutting me off.
"No, no. You can finish the test any other day", she said, dragging me up from my chair, letting me collect my perfect placed out stuff, the world spinning, feeling as I couldn't really stand up by myself.
"I-I have... Ne... Need", I mumbled, no word understandable because of my sluddering. My teacher just shook her head, and helped me to collect my stuff, since my vision was blurry. And everyone had a blurry face.
I could hear Azimio whispering loudly to a random guy besides him.
"Fairy", he said, both laughing together in unison.
Gay. No one likes you. They make fun of you.
How could you ever think that you could be something, someone, one day?
Because you won't, Kurt.
I stumbled out from the classroom, shaking, feeling my heavy bag weigh me down.
There's three books in it. You're so weak.
I opened the door, my teacher already back in her position in front of the class, looking over everyone like an eagle to avoid cheating. Obviously not caring about me. But why would she ever help the Fairy?
I looked to the righ, seeing Blaine running against me, with a happy, somewhat worried, face.
"That was quick!", he beamed, taking my hand. We stood still for a while, ignoring the world outside my new-formed bubble. Still, he was outside of it. "Hey, you okay?", Blaine asked me as he looked me in the eyes, letting me see his beautiful hazel eyes. I was sweating under the well-hidden bandages on my arms, leaning onto Blaine's shoulder, closing my eyes as I just felt the room getting smaller.
"No"
I couldn't breath. Still fighting myself to stand up. Why was it so hard to do that?
I opened my eyes again, only to see Blaine panicking in front of me, holding my fragile body so I wouldn't fall.
"B-Blaine, I... I didn't finish my test... I passed out... I need to finish... Finish... It", I said, sluddering. Trying to get away from the corridor, back in to the classroom. But Blaine was holding me too tight.
"No, no... C'mon, Kurt. You can finish it some other day, I promise. Let's go to the nurse, you're not well", he said in the kindest way ever, giving me a light kiss on my cheek. I was crying, the test wasn't done. This could ruin my whole future. And now Blaine definitely thinks I'm a freak.
Hey Kurt, why don't you just give up?
And so I fell onto the hard stone floor.

As I opened my eyes, feeling the not so stone hard, though uncomfortable, bed under me. Nurse.
Blaine ran towards me, shouting to get the nurse. He kissed me passionately as he was crying.
"Don't ever scare me like that again", he said after we'd pulled away. I looked away from him, because I couldn't promise him that. Right now, I couldn't promise him anything. As the nurse walked in, with mr Schue right behind her, Blaine spoke again. "You fainted", he explaned, obviously because of my confused face.
"Yes. I noticed that", I said sarcastically, laughing, trying to get rid of the tension in the room. Everyone looked at me, keeping a straight face. Did they see my cuts?
They know, Kurt. You didn't do well enough.
"Kurt, it happened. Twice. It's nothing to joke about", mr Schue said seriously, as I sat up in the uncomfortable bed. I shrugged my shoulders, still feeling a little shaken up.
"You fainted because of dehydration. When was the last time you ate, mr Hummel?", the nurse asked me.
They know.
"Umm... Yesterday evening? I was quite stressed this morning, revising 'til the test I had today... So I didn't have the time to eat this morning, so it's just that probably", I desperately answered. I was lying, I did have the time to eat. But if I did.
You'll get fat, Kurt.
"Okay" The nurse wrote something down. I gulped. "Anyways, mr Hummel, we'll need to do some normal checkups before you can go. We'll start with weighing you", I looked at her. Weigh me? That's not going to happen. Everyone in this room will see the disgusting numbers on the scale. They'll look at me, disgusted of the sight.
"No", I protested quickly, they giving me confused looks, Blaine squeezing my hands even tighter. "You know what? I'm feeling perfectly fine right now, so that certainly won't be needed. Thanks for your everything though", I lied, doing everything to get out of the tiny room who tended to just get smaller. I pulled me out of Blaine's tight grip and left the room. I walked down the corridor, looked back and saw Blaine being just ten meters behind me. The people in the corridor stared at us, at me.
Because you're a freak, Kurt.
As soon as I reached the corner, I turned right and started to run. I needed to get away from him. He's not worth me, I don't deserve him. He needs to find someone better. Someone he loves. Not pity.
I ran the fastest I've ever ran in my entire life, trying to get out of the school, corridor after corridor swooshed past me. People looking at me like I was mad. To be honest, I would too.
Suddenly, someone grabbed my wrist.
"Hey, Kurt! Stop!"
Blaine. Why could I never run away from him?
I realised I was crying, my legs bending under myself.
You're so weak.
Before turning around I quickly whiped my tears, not wanting him to see me like that. He was supposed to know nothing.
"You are not okay", Blaine said, and it was definitely not a question.
"I am NOT stepping on that scale!", I shouted angrily, putting my hand over my mouth when I realised what I'd just said. I looked at me confused, wrinkling his forehead.
You're pathetic.
"Wait what?", he asked me. I shook my head to tell him that it didn't matter, as I immediately regretting what I'd said. "...so I thought we'd go to your and maybe watch Moulin Rouge?", he said after a while. Now, it was my turn give him a surprised face. I was certainly not epecting that.
He only asks you because he pity you, Kurt.
"No, no, wait. Hold on a sec", I protested, thinking. "You are going to meet you friends at Dalton today. Do that instead of keeping me company, I know you'll enjoy it much more", I said after remembering Sebastian's message. He wrinkled his face into a concerning look, his eyes sinking into mine.
You know he's been looking forward to it, Kurt. Don't ruin his life more than you already have.
"So, go then. I'll be perfectly fine", I said, pulling me out of his tight grip.
"Um. Okay, then. Bye", Blaine said, kissing my cheek. "Love you". Lie.
He didn't believe you. You need to do better.
"...love you too", I said weakly, smiling as he walked away and down the corridor.
You need to punish yourself, Kurt.
And I couldn't help but wonder,
why don't I just give up?
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Hello humans🐝
Little update for y'all. Or, well, quite big. Hope you liked it!💓 Oh, and I hope you still like this little fanfic!☁️
So, my summer holiday is here! Yay! Which means, more updates🌵
Anyways, how's your week been? Mine's been crazy. For a week and a half I've had trouble breathing, which totally sucks... But seventh grade is overrr, so I'm happy with that☺️ plus I'm really satisfied with my grades, my hard work paid off!💫
btw, I haven't really read this through so sorry about any mistakes😅
Anyways, please leave a comment & don't forget to vote!💗
And keep on sharing the story, because i love to write it and your comments make me love it even more!😌
Have a lovely day,
C🌻
PS. I'm Swedish, which means that English isn't my first language and I do apologize about any weird grammatical mistakes and so on... DS.