The Leshens were on edge after Falco's suicide attempt. Ever since that day, they made daily checks in the village and Jesse could sense several Dryads settling around their compound as well.

There was a curious energy that had surged from the Leshens as they had darted in and out of the village, handing the Elves several tree seeds.

And they had watched in awe when the seeds had grown rapidly until several Dryad trees had grown to fruition. Allowing multiple Dryads to protect the Leshens' charges alongside them.

Wrapping his coat tighter around himself, Jesse observed one of the Dryads interacting with Falco. Tenderly caressing through the young man's hair as he leaned against her form, hugging her tree as if it was all that was keeping him grounded.

The gorgeous magnolia tree provided with a soothing, relaxing scent to the Deprived. Even Jesse inhaled deeply, enjoying the soft, sweet scent that greeted him.

Therapy sessions had been extended, giving each Deprived more time to process what happened. Jesse suspected it was also a way for the Improba to figure out if any of the other Deprived were suicidal.

Not that anyone blamed Falco. Many of them were still precariously balancing on that razor-sharp edge. Asking themselves one of the hardest questions on a daily basis.

Is it worth it? Will things actually get better if I push on? Or should I just end it, right here, right now... Do I even deserve to be saved?

A deep sigh escaped him before Jesse pushed up, giving Falco and Maggie some space. He only managed to take two steps before there was a soft huff beside him, making Jesse reach up and pat against the male Leshen's cheek.

He rumbled in appreciation, giving him a quick once over while leaning into the touch before cantering away. Pausing near Falco, who shivered before stilling in surprise when the Leshen gave him an awkward pat on Falco's hair before it moved on.

A smile slid on Jesse's face, the softest snort escaping him as he shook his head. "He tried, at least." He murmured to himself, gaining a smile from Maggie who shook her own head as well before weaving her fingers through Falco's hair.

Falco sighed, letting his head drop in her lap whilst looking up at the blue skies above. Jesse kept on walking to avoid the soft conversation that sparked up behind him, not wanting to pry into Falco's personal thoughts being whispered to his Dryad.

The show of affection between the pair had made Jesse's mind wander towards a certain vampire. However, he was surprised that he wasn't thinking of James.

While their time together had been extremely short and brutally ended without their consent, Jesse was slowly managing to accept what happened. At least, to accept that it wasn't his fault and that no matter how hard he cried and begged, time was irreversible.

James was gone. Forever.

But that didn't mean that his chance of happiness and love had disappeared from the world. Jesse's bond with Xavier may not be the same as with James, but it was good.

He shivered once again, pulling at his clothes, as if that would trap the warmth against him. Even the sun that was blissfully shining, warming anything in its path, didn't seem to chase away the cold properly.

Especially his hand and feet. Even with his hands tucked away in his pockets, Jesse could barely feel the digits, resembling more clumps of ice than flesh and bone.

Therapists told him it could be side effects from the depression, the PTSD that haunted his dreams and days. To feel constantly tired, constantly cold or experience sudden hot flashes.

And Jesse was tired. Tired of feeling weak, feeling like a victim that shook at the slightest rustle in the wind. Tired of being constantly reminded of his trauma, be it by his mind or his body.

Jesse wanted to do something. To do more, to help the people around him, who were suffering just like him.

But his magic was still fickle at best.

Sometimes it fizzled and sputtered out from the slightest attempt of using his magic. Other times, it flared uncontrollably and beyond his will.

Jesse blinked before scowling at the sky, feeling a slight drop of rain. Willing his magic to relent, to stop influencing the weather into a potent storm.

We've had enough darkness in our lives. It's time to offer us some warmth and light.

Warmth enveloped him and Jesse smiled, nuzzling against Xavier's cheek as his mate leaned in to press a chaste kiss against Jesse's jaw.

Above, the clouds waned almost instantly and Xavier's cheeky smile made Jesse flush and avert his gaze.

This feels so strange. But also so good.

A part of him wanted to feel guilty about enjoying Xavier's company. Despised him for developing a bond with his newfound mate while slowly moving past James.

But realistically, Jesse knew he couldn't mourn James forever. Of course he missed his late mate and if he had a chance to turn back time, to avoid all of this from happening in the first place, he would have.

Just as much as Jesse knew Xavier would've wanted his Fated mate to be alive as well. It was only natural that their souls longed for their Fated half to be there, to be alive.

However there was no way to change the flow of time. No one on earth could change that fact. Not even someone as powerful as Hisoka from the Council, could bend time to their will.

They could never get their pasts back. But they could fight to maintain their future.

"Your hands are ice-cold, sweetheart." Xavier frowned, fingers folding over Jesse's hands and gently blowing them.

Jesse shuddered at the warmth that slowly returned to his prickling fingers, leaning against Xavier as the man cradled his hands as if they were fragile.

Heating them up with his own warmth, gently rubbing them to get sensation back in Jesse's hands. And while the chill in Jesse's hands dissipated, he still felt cold.

As if reading his mind, Xavier pulled Jesse closer, smiling as the young man flushed and averted his gaze. Both of them feeling a flutter in their stomach, smiling as if they were young, inexperienced lovers who held hands for the first time.

Jesse smiled to himself, listening to Xavier's heartbeat as he rested his ear against the man's chest. In a way, they were inexperienced lovers.

Xavier didn't have any experience with his late mate, and Jesse only had a handful of moments to treasure. And given how James had even protested about sleeping in the same bed, nothing had happened between them besides a few kisses.

To know that finally, they both had the chance to create and keep a mating bond. Something they had both hoped of, dreamed of to achieve.

Now that they finally received that chance, they had no idea how to continue. They were awkwardly fluttering around one another, wanting to further develop the relationship and at the same time, they didn't want to push the other too far.

Well, Jesse knew that Xavier was being incredibly patient because of him. He was the one who needed to be treated carefully with all his trauma.

Yet with each interaction he had with Xavier, how Xavier respected Jesse and his feelings, made the young man float on a cloud.

Jesse remembered Xavier's vow that he would never push to satisfy his own sexual needs. That he was happy to keep things platonic if it meant to keep Jesse sane and safe.

But that was just the thing. Even though Jesse was traumatized, he wanted more.

He wanted to wipe out those disgusting phantom touches that his body remembered, wanted to erase all the bad sexual interactions he had.

Jesse just didn't have a clue if he was physically ready. There were times when Xavier hugged or touched him in a certain way, the hairs in his nape stood up and his body jerked away on its own.

"Let's get you inside and warmed up darling." Xavier smiled, offering Jesse his arm and grinned as the Deprived intertwined their arms with a soft smile on his own.

Jesse took one last deep inhale of the Magnolia smell before smiling as he also picked up on Xavier's cologne. Appreciating the effort the Improba made into presenting himself towards Jesse.

As they entered the house, Jesse felt a bit teary eyed at the kindness, affection and patience that Xavier continuously showed.

While Jesse tugged off his coat, Xavier had already plucked a set of soft, fluffy socks from the closet, easily taking Jesse's coat and hanging it up while offering the socks to the young Deprived.

And as Jesse walked in the living room, feeling a soft chill darting down his spine, Xavier was already crouched in front of the fireplace, starting up a small fire.

I didn't even need to ask anything or suggest it....

So when Xavier dusted off his hands after feeding a few logs to the snapping fire and stood up, Jesse's emotions swelled before realizing he stood in the middle of their living room.

Crying like an abandoned, lost child.

"Aw, sweetheart." Xavier's voice sounded choked, as if he was experiencing Jesse's anguish. Hurrying to his side in a heartbeat before gently cradling Jesse against his body. "It's okay. You're okay."

Jesse latched on while shaking his head. Unable to speak as he tried and failed to stifle the sobs that tore through his throat. "I'm not...I'm not sad. I'm just..." He waved his hand, unable to find the correct word that truly showed how he was feeling.

Xavier hummed soothingly, gently brushing over Jesse's back before he made a sound of realization. "You're overwhelmed?" He questioned, smiling at Jesse's tearful nod against his chest.

"Can you tell me what you were thinking about before you got upset?" He inquired gently, guiding them to the couch before pulling Jesse in his lap and covered them with one of the plush throw blankets.

Jesse inhaled shakily, eagerly accepting the tissues offered to him. "I... I was thinking that I..." He swallowed, nervously fidgeting with the tissues, "I wanted to do more. To be more."

Xavier didn't interject, just patiently listened as Jesse tried to align his thoughts. "I want to get better, genuinely better. I hate feeling these touches, hate the memories that come with them and I'm happy, no, grateful that you're giving me time and space. But I-...I-"

His mate sighed softly, readjusting their position to he could look down at Jesse's tearful expression. "You want the pain, the bad memories to go away. Want to replace them with good ones."

The Deprived nodded, amazed that Xavier understood him with ease. The Improba wetted his lips before nodding to himself.

"We both have less than stelar experiences into matehood and what it entails." Xavier motioned to himself, "I never got to even meet my Beloved and we both know your experience darling."

Jesse felt another unnatural chill run over his back before he leaned forwards, burrowing his face against Xavier's throat. "I know." Xavier murmured. "I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, to set you back on your recovery. Which, may I remind you, you've done excellent work in."

"But I want you to feel safe with me. And while I am happy that you feel you can push yourself, I just want you to remember that you don't need to push yourself. Take as much time as you need, go as slow as you need." Xavier pressed a kiss against Jesse's forehead. "Okay?"

The Deprived nodded again, feeling his lip wobble but he fought back the tears as much as possible. Xavier smiled, uttering a warm "Good." Before he relaxed further against the couch. "I am yours darling. Always am and always will be. If you want to explore this relationship further then I will follow your lead. So what is it that you want to do?"

Jesse blinked before flushing as he looked down at Xavier, just now realizing where he was seated and how the man's muscles flexed underneath his shirt.

It sounded so stupid but.... "Can I...t-touch?" Jesse cringed back at the awkward question but felt a warm glow in his chest as Xavier simply opened his arms in silent consent.

It was more than Jesse could hope for. More than he deserved. But then he reminded himself that no, this was exactly what he deserved.

He deserved consent. He deserved appreciation. And he deserved to be happy, at least for once in his miserable life.