Warning: This chapter contains some graphic violence and blood. Not like gory or anything, just... well, violent.

***

For the next few days, Phil tries his hardest to stay away from Dan as much as possible. He can't avoid him completely, because they share a class, and Phil still isn't fond of skipping, but he has started making excuses after, hiding out in the bathroom or the dreaded library to avoid spending lunch with him.

He may seem selfish, but he can't help it. He doesn't want this anymore. Whatever him and Dan have, its not in any way healthy, and causes nothing but drama for the both of them. Dan is risking his family, and Phil has his life on the line.

And he hates the fact that he's going crazy. Crazy at the fact that Dan isn't there as much as he used to be, and Phil can't touch him or look at him. He feels like he's going through withdrawal, and he hates it, hates it so much. He's gotten addicted, and he's fucked.

But what else can he possibly do. Between his own negative thoughts and the new ones that Zoe has provided, he doesn't see any other choice.

He used to love being on his own. His asocial nature had been a comfort, and new people were always a threat to that, to him. He'd let Dan in so easily, hadn't even questioned it, and now look at him. Itching to be near him, to talk to him, anything.

Maybe he actually was going crazy. Maybe he was losing his mind, succumbing to the desperate urges that made him this way in the first place. He was so damn cautious, it wasn't even funny. Always looking over his shoulder, waiting for the next demon or other fucking creature to jump him, question him, make him even more anxious about everything.

And heaven forbid he have some kind of safe place. His house was empty all the time; his parents had decided this was the perfect time to go on vacation for themselves, trusting Phil enough to leave him alone for a couple weeks. School was a sore spot, and anywhere else just made his head hurt.

He was out of it, completely.

He took a much longer route to and from school now, trekking through a small forest of thin trees and coming in through a backdoor of the building, and leaving the same way. And sometimes, he would just stand and stare up, through the sparse coverage of leaves up at the steel gray sky. It helped calm him down some.

A few of his teachers had stopped him after class, asking about the dark marks under his eyes and his bored look in class. He'd never really been active before, but it seemed he was way worse now. He managed to brush them off, eventually, blaming it on stress from school and that he wasn't feeling too well to begin with. Not exactly a lie; he was always nauseous and he would get random headaches.

He didn't know if any of that was the truth, or if it was just Dan's already deep set influence on his life.

***

It was raining today. Not much, but enough to have to wear a hoodie at least. With it being so close to spring, frequent rain was to be expected; it would probably only get heavier later on.

Phil's brain was absolutely fried. School was starting to stress him out these days, leaving him heavy and tired. He was sure that he couldn't recite a single thing any of his teachers had said in the last week, and his grades were definitely not being helped by that.

Walking through the scarce forest was sort of therapeutic, he thought. It was extremely quiet, other than the occasional rustle of leaves by the wind or some unidentified animal passing by. Phil relished in the atmosphere of this place, and wished he could stay here longer than he was allowed. He didn't much like the idea of being out here after dark.

He was trying to successfully clear his mind of any thought, trying to go completely blank, but was greatly interrupted by the sound of voices.

And the very rational (or irrational) part of his brain thought that they were in his head. They were soft and indiscernible, he couldn't make out what was being said. He started panicking slightly, his chest tightening and his breathing speeding up. But then he heard the telltale sound of movement, that could only be made by another person, and he sighed in relief.

Of course, then came the issue of there being other people there with him. He could tell they were close by, and he tried to move, to escape their notice, but he stopped when he caught a glimpse of blue through the otherwise deep green of the rest of the forest. He froze where he was, deciding to wait until they passed before heading back home. He didn't feel like enduring any awkward encounters with other people.

"....see the point in you dragging me all the way out here." Said a voice he didn't know, male and maybe the same age, if not older. "It's gonna be dark soon. I have places to be."

"It'll only be a moment." said another person, and goddamn, Phil almost fell to his knees. Of course, no matter how much he tried to get away, Dan Howell was always there.

And him, here with another guy, seemingly alone.... well, one could only draw certain conclusions.

They stopped not too far from where Phil was standing, mostly hidden by a few trees all grouped together. He was glad he was wearing black today, or they would have definitely noticed him. He glanced around one of the trunks of the trees, his stomach turning as he saw Dan and the other guy standing close to each other. Dan's back was to him, but he could clearly make out the features of the stranger. Blond hair and brown eyes. Definitely on the attractive side.

So Dan had found someone else.

Phil really shouldn't have expected any less. He was average, at best, and with the way he'd been acting lately. He didn't blame Dan for ditching him, not when he could have pretty much anyone he wanted. Phil just wished he'd had the decency to break off whatever relationship they had before going for what he really wanted.

"Call me crazy, but isn't this how horror movies usually work?" The guy said, tracing his fingers across Dan's shoulder teasingly. Phil clenched his jaw. "Drag the innocent boy into the woods before slaughtering him?"

Dan laughed and reached out to drag his fingers through the other guys hair affectionately, and Phil wanted to vomit. "You know me better than that. No way I'd get my shoes dirty just to murder you."

The guy smiled, his hands traveling lower, down Dan's back.

He should have left while he had the chance. Anything would have been better than watching this, watching Dan with another person. Phil was struggling not to make his presence known, because his knees were weak and his hands were shaking.

'I'm here to explain something to you. That Dan doesn't care about you as much as he says he does'. Zoe's words rang through his head like a bell, tearing through his chest and heart.

He watched as they kept touching, kept talking, kept leaning closer to each other. Watched as they touched noses softly, and the other guy nuzzled against him gently. Watched as his lips parted expectantly.

And he watched as Dan, faster than he could process, jammed a knife into the guys throat.

Phil couldn't hold back the strangled gasp, stumbling backwards from his hiding place. Dan looked over at him quickly, his eyes widening when he saw him.

"Phil..." He muttered, letting the body, now limp in his arms, drop to the ground. He moved towards Phil, but Phil stepped back, his hands covering his mouth. "Phil, wait, it's not what you think it is-"

"No." Phil said quietly, moving even further backwards, away from Dan. He was kind of scared to turn around.

But Dan stepped forwards, closing in on Phil and grabbing his arms. Phil almost sobbed, feeling Dan's hands, covered in blood, on his arms. He could swear, he felt it through the sleeves of his hoodie. "Phil, stop. Please, I can explain."

"You just fucking killed someone!" Phil yelled, struggling to escape his grasp. His head was spinning and he felt like he was gonna black out. He closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to see Dan, his face, or his eyes.

"I didn't, I didn't just kill him cold blooded. I, I had a reason." Dan reached up, touching Phil's neck reassuringly, but Phil flinched away from his touch.

"A reason?" Phil asked hysterically. His heart raced in his chest, adrenaline and fear making him almost laugh. "He was a kid-"

"He wasn't human." Dan pleaded desperately. "He wasn't human, he was a monster, okay, he was bad."

"I don't care." Phil said, yanking as hard as he could and almost falling to the ground as he pulled free of Dan's grip. "I don't care, get away from me." He turned and practically ran, trying to get as far away as he could.

"Phil!" He heard Dan yell, but he didn't turn back.

The whole way back home, he kept it together. Kept his head down and his arms crossed over his chest. His breathing may have been a bit shallow, but there didn't seem to be anyone who noticed.

Only when he had closed the front door behind him did he freak out.

He ripped his hoodie off, tears streaming down his face as he tossed it God knows where, with the intent of burning it later. He hurried upstairs, nearly falling on the stairs as he continued taking the rest of his clothes off. He went into the bathroom, twisting the hot water on and jumping in, ignoring the scalding heat on his skin.

He felt so dirty and itchy, and he viciously scrubbed his body and face and hair. He stared at the floor of the shower, watching the water flow towards the drain. There wasn't much, but the blood on his body washed away as well, tinging the water pink for a few seconds.

And after, he curled up under his blankets, still shaking and wishing to fall asleep forever.

***

a/n: this story is taking a much darker turn than I first thought. I like it.

This is a bit shorter than usual, but it'll be better next chapter. Promise.

Hope you liked this and I'll see ya next time. Peace :3