Taehyung

Layla welcomes Maya and I at the door with a big hug that huddles all three of us close together. No matter how affluent they are and how expensive their lifestyle is, Jin and Layla have always been extremely friendly, hospitable and humble humans.

"This is Maya," I point my hand towards Maya and then towards Layla. "Layla," I tell Maya, and she bows her head a little with a smile.

Layla gives a knowing smile before she guides us both to their living room, or should I say the courtroom of their palace? The latter would be more befitting.

I had already discussed the disastrous events that unfolded in my life over the past few days with Jin, and I had also obviously told him about Maya and our relationship.

"Taehyungie! You're here already!" Jin screeches as he jogs his way down the imperial stairway that lands right in the middle of the courtroom.

"Yeah because it's 3 pm," I take a seat beside Maya, and Jin settles down next to Layla on the couch facing us.

Maya, Layla and Jin take a little time introducing themselves, and we are also treated to a variety of snacks and bakes along with piping hot tea, none of which seems to make me loosen up.

Sensing my discomfort and how I haven't laid a finger on any of the snacks, which is so unlike me, Layla decides to initiate the discussion right away.

"Tell me, Taehyung. What is it?" She asks me as one of their servants clears the table, replacing the tea and snacks with a few glasses of water.

I breathe out before I begin speaking, and I glance at Maya as she leans back in her seat with her eyes on me.

"This is about Areum. Jang-Mi and I are getting divorced, as you already know. And she has agreed for shared child custody. I am supposed to be feeling relieved, but I'm nowhere close to that. I'm clueless how to get Areum to accept Maya into her life," my eyes lower to my feet when I finish talking.

Layla nods her head, exhaling deeply as she leans back in her seat and crosses one leg over the other.

"That's a genuine concern. What else is worrying you?" Her eyes move from me to Maya and stay on her.

"I want to understand Areum and make her feel comfortable with me, and I don't want her to think that I'm a bad person. I have no experience with children, and I definitely need some tips and help," Maya states her concerns, and Layla nods again.

Jin leans forward with his elbows on his knees, and he is listening keenly to everything that we're saying.

"Are these your concerns? Or are there any more?" Layla quizzes us, and we confirm that this is it, for now.

"Well, do you want me to be fully honest, or give you sugar-coated answers? Because I can't actually do the latter in your case," her question is already answered.

Capitalizing on our silence, Layla continues to talk.

"The first truth is that Areum isn't ever going to accept Maya as a mother figure in her life because Maya isn't her mother. And Areum isn't a newborn who has no vivid memories of anything, or a grown teenager who can just ignore everything and walk out. She is a seven-year-old smart child who has been living in her little world with her mother and father and probably a few friends and teachers. So she just can't forget the fact that Jang-Mi is her mother and accept Maya in that place just because you are with Maya," the truth in her statement feels like bitter medicine that I can literally feel it on my tongue.

I turn to look at Maya who has her head low, and I can't even imagine how powerfully this truth must have stabbed her in the chest. Gently taking her hand in mine, I hold it firmly, doing the only thing that I could do right now to let her know that I'm always by her side.

"So I want you both to keep your expectations low. Maya might be an amazing woman and a lovely mother to her children in the future, but do not ever expect Areum to call Maya as 'mom' or quickly warm up to her. It isn't going to happen at all," Layla, once again, drops a truth bomb that makes me almost regret my decision of coming here today.

"I will keep that in mind at all times," Maya answers calmly, and it completely takes me by surprise because I'm still fighting a battle within my head.

"Good," Layla nods calmly. "Areum is still a small child even though she might talk many big words and think quite deeply. Decision making is the last skill that children form during their growing years, and it is going to be extremely hard for her to accept the fact and make her mind up that she will only be living with one of her parents at any given time, for the rest of her life as a child. So I want you both to be very considerate of her mental state. Children's minds are more complicated than we could ever imagine, and their emotions often get ignored a lot," we both nod in acceptance of this brutal truth.

"So how do I approach her?" Maya asks her first question.

"It's best that you don't make it obvious that you're trying to approach her. In fact, her accepting you in her life has to be the last of your concerns right now. Areum learning to slowly accept the fact that her parents are separated, yet still happy on their own is what you should aim to achieve," Layla pauses her speech for our acknowledgement, and when we give it to her, she continues speaking.

"Just observe her and try to make her feel at ease by doing things which you feel she enjoys doing, only when she's in a good mood. Try, and I mean, very slowly try to involve with her in activities that she enjoys to do...it could be playing her favorite games or watching her favorite show together with her, anything... but that is for a little later. First step is to observe her very closely without making it obvious"

"I get it," Maya answers softly.

"Also, with shared custody, initially the frequent back and forth movement will cause a lot of discomfort and probably even mood swings in her. So take it slow before you set a schedule. To start with, let her be with Jang-Mi for the most part, and you could, maybe, spend time with her on the weekends. After a while, when she's adjusting better and accepting things, you could keep her with you for longer. Just do what she's comfortable with because this is a big paradigm shift in her little world," Layla speaks with caution.

At this point, I haven't asked or answered anything until Layla asks me something.

"Does Areum know that you and Jang-Mi are getting divorced?" This question is directed to me.

"She doesn't yet know" my voice comes out much softer and lower.

"How do you plan to tell it to her?" This is a question that has been plaguing my mind for a while, and Layla just pulled it out from somewhere and threw it at my face.

"I'm clueless," I declare shamelessly, opening my hands in defeat before clasping them together again.

"Understandable," she nods and continues, "I want you and Jang-Mi to reveal it together to your daughter. Word it in such a way that she gets a picture of the situation and at the same time she doesn't blame herself for anything. A guilty child who isn't supposed to feel that way at all is the last thing we want to deal with at this moment. Reassure her at all times that the separation has nothing to do with her, and that she is loved immensely and unconditionally," she speaks in a more friendly manner this time.

"Okay. We will reveal it together and keep this in mind as well," that's one thing off the list now, but how to reveal the truth the way she just said it? I have no fucking idea.

"If you both are planning to move in together, put it for later and make sure that when you do it, you still give her lots of time and attention and don't let her feel left out, especially if you both are planning to have kids later"

"We definitely want to have children together in the future," I answer without a delay and confidently nod my head.

"Wow!" Jin exclaims after being silent all this while. "Taehyung's planning is in a different league," he cracks an untimely joke to which only he is laughing, and when he realizes that no one is laughing along and only shooting death glares at him, he stops and clears his throat in a desperate attempt to wipe off the awkwardness.

"Sorry. I mean, good luck to you both," he lets out almost inaudibly.

No answer.

Layla sighs before she starts talking once again.

"Taehyung and Maya, having children will happen when it has to, but for now, focus only on three things. One : tell Areum the news of your separation, and do it along with Jang-Mi. Two : make sure she doesn't feel guilty or blame herself at any cost. Three : give her lots of space and time to accept the reality and gradually ease with Maya, but observe her closely and allow her to feel comfortable at her own pace. Keep your expectations low at all times," Layla ends her speech and gulps down a glass of water.

Everyone in the room remains silent, taking in the truth and reality of the situation, until Jin pops in with some random topic to lighten the atmosphere. Soon enough, I step out of the mansion with him to take a walk in their garden while Maya remains with Layla in the courtroom.

"Maya seems very nice," Jin slings an arm around my shoulder and stuffs his other hand inside the pocket of his trousers as we stroll down their garden path.

I only nod a little as a reply to him.

"Taehyungie, are you feeling guilty for choosing divorce?" Jin asks softly, his pace of walking matching mine.

"She chose. I didn't," I answer him in a clinical tone, and that makes him emit a gasp, his steps coming to a halt as well.

"So, if she didn't, then would you have been okay to continue living with Jang-Mi? What about Maya then?" His questions leave me speechless.

Jin continues speaking as we resume walking,
"I think you chose to leave the marriage first, but whoever chose it, you shouldn't feel guilty about it now. You both were disconnected long ago, and as much as it's important to put children at the center of our world, it is also important to prioritize ourselves sometimes....especially when a marriage is failing. Existing among a troubled marriage causes more damage to the child's mind than handling a separation," Jin gives me his honest words of wisdom, and I only nod in response while absorbing the truth in his words.

Despite his untimely sense of humor, SeokJin has always been a man of less words, and lot of mystery, but he is always non-judgemental, and has never once failed to make me feel better in any situation, no matter how bad it is.

"I'm sure Areum will love Maya though it might take quite some time and efforts because she's still a small kid but not a baby. Does that even make any sense?" Jin adds, chuckling as he looks at the sky when I turn my head a little to look at him.

"It makes sense, Jin. I'm hoping that Areum likes her too. That's the only thing I want in life," I open up as our steps slow down a little.

Jin laughs softly at my reply.

"That's a lie that everyone keeps telling to themselves, Taehyung. 'That's the only thing I want in life' is a very abstract statement which is bound by many conditions. Areum and Maya getting along is probably the only thing you want in life at this moment. Once that happens, won't you want anything else in life? Aren't we all always greedy for more?" He shoots me a bullet that ties my tongue up.

Both husband and wife are being brutally, unapologetically honest today, as always.

"That's true. You're right," I keep my answer short as I dip my neck and slide my hands into the pockets of my trousers while we walk.

"Nobody ever stops having needs in life, and it's not just you. That is how humans work. God! Why am I suddenly being so philosophical?" Jin dismisses it with a squeaky giggle, but his words feel like a few sharp slaps were delivered to my face.

I drifted to Maya like a moth to her flame because I had my own unattended needs, but to be realistic, it isn't definitely going to be a fairytale life with her. There will still be unattended needs in both our lives, but talking it out and being supportive of each other would surely help us sustain.

As Maya said, we will, at all times, try our best to communicate properly. I have also made numerous mistakes which I don't ever want to repeat once again.

One failed relationship is all I can take, and no matter what comes our way, I will tackle it all with the lessons that my life keeps teaching me, and I will do whatever it takes to ensure that we both stay strong and in love till the very end, till our breaths cease.

This is a promise that I'm making to myself.

I'm deep in love with the women in this story—Jang-Mi, Maya and now Layla.
❤
And SeokJin, please.
😭

Published on : 05/30/2022