Taehyung

To say that I have been feeling extremely paranoid and borderline scared about Maya's meeting with Jang-Mi wouldn't justify the situation within my head. I've not been able to concentrate on anything ever since Maya left this afternoon.

I know her, and how confident and composed she would always be. And I also know Jang-Mi, and how agitated she can be, especially with Maya and after everything that has happened.

I'm only hoping that no blood was shed in today's meeting.

Anticipating the worst, I even pick up Maya's favorite comfort food—a tub of chocolate ice-cream—and wait for her to return while I try to keep myself distracted with some shows on TV.

It is already past 7 pm, and way beyond when I was expecting her to be back home, and what's more worrying is that she hasn't called me or texted me. She also told me not to call her until she did.

But my patience ends here. I can't take it anymore.

I call Maya's phone, and she answers, keeping her replies short and calculated, and I cannot help but assume that she is still probably with Jang-Mi. So I end the call too when she confirms that she would be back home in less than thirty minutes.

In exactly twenty-five nerve-wrecking minutes, I hear Maya's car parking in the garage, and I rush to open the front door. Though I try my best not to show her how my anxiety has been gnawing away my insides in slow motion, I still end up being my concerned self when her eyes meet mine.

"Hi, I'm sorry, I'm a little late," Maya comes closer to me, allowing me to wrap her in my arms.

"I was worried," I gently kiss the top of her head that rests neatly under my chin. "Let's go inside," I loosen my grip around her, and we both enter her home, closing the door behind us.

Maya takes off her shoes and coat and joins me on the couch.

"You seem tired. Did you eat something?" I ask her softly, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and eliminating the little space between us.

"Yeah, I did earlier. I'm not too hungry though. Did you eat something?" She comforts herself against my body, caging my form with her arms.

"I wanted to eat with you," I take a deep breath through my nose and puff it out through my mouth. "I hope the meeting went well," I'm unable to suppress my curiosity.

Maya sits up, her eyes studying my face as she smiles big, nodding her head confidently.

"It went way better than I expected it to go, and I actually had a nice time," her words take me by total surprise.

How's that possible?

"Wow!" I nod, looking away, feeling unsure what to say now.

I want to wait for her to give me the details, but I also feel the dire need to ask her every little thing that happened today. However, I end up sitting in total silence.

"Taehyung, there are three things I want to tell you. Pick one first," Maya holds up three of her fingers in the space between our chests, and I let out a tired chuckle before I pick her middle finger.

"Okay, this one is about us," she says, making me turn my body a little more to sit down facing her.

"Go on," I urge her to speak.

"Jang-Mi is happy that you and I are together. She said that she's happy that you found me..." her smile gives away how genuinely happy she is, but my jaw drops open upon hearing her words.

Jang-Mi said that???!

"She really said that?" My eyebrows shoot skyward, my voice mirrors my shocked state, and Maya nods many times.

"She did," she repeats, not giving me any more details.

My mind gave up on Jang-Mi and our marriage and moved on, and I know that she too gave up long back. We were just hopelessly pulling along for Areum, yet, this moment where I know that she has let go of me forever feels awkward. Maybe because everything happened too quickly? The love we had for each other died away slowly, but the separation was too sudden, and although this is what I wanted, it feels a little strange now because my heart—even though it has moved on—still loved her in the past.

Maya folds her middle finger in. It's only her index and ring fingers now, and this time I choose her ring finger.

"Okay. This one is about Areum," my heart begins beating faster when she mentions my daughter.

"Did Areum come along too?" I ask, hoping that it wasn't the case, and Maya quickly dismisses my doubts by shaking her head from side to side.

She sucks in a sharp breath and keeps her steady gaze on me as she speaks.
"Jang-Mi is willing to have shared custody over Areum after your separation," her voice isn't as cheerful as the smile within my heart.

My heart leaps in joy, and it feels as if someone pumped a loud dose of happiness into my veins. A smile that cracks into laughter, accompanied by some happy tears, marks the moment in our memories.

"She did? How?" I take Maya's hand in mine, opening out all her fingers and lacing my fingers through the gaps in them.

"Jang-Mi is such a pure soul, Taehyung. She doesn't want to deny you the last thing that you ask of her, she doesn't  want Areum to choose one of you just because you both want to part ways, but she will also never entirely give up on Areum..." the way she said that makes my smile vanish, and it feels as if my heart was slit into two with a rusted blade, the ache rising to my throat and choking me, making my words get tangled up at the back of my throat.

"She might not want to be your wife. But she is always Areum's mother, and you will always be Areum's father, and she trusts me enough to share the responsibility of taking care of the most important person in her life. It must have been so hard for her to let go of you and allow me into Areum's life, but I think it's an honor for me to be able to win her trust," Maya's eyes turn teary while the shock that I am experiencing seems to be endless.

I am still not able to find my voice, and my mind keeps deceiving my words as I sit there shell-shocked seeing how beautifully Maya has handled the whole situation. I didn't have the slightest idea that Jang-Mi and Maya would get along so well, let alone on just their first meeting.

The thought of having my daughter with me, even though it would be shared time, it still makes my whole heart swell with joy.

Everything suddenly feels like a dream—a dream too good to be true, that it makes me scared to wake up and realize that it wasn't actually true.

I was paranoid about today, but Maya just handled it like a piece of cake.

Using mere words would do no justice to the gratitude that I feel deeply and want to express desperately to the woman that I love.

"Have you ever tried to think about why your marriage didn't work? Taehyung, I really didn't want to arrive at a conclusion until I got a glimpse of Jang-Mi's life, but now that I did, I can see what was missing. Do you know what that is?" Maya quirks her eyebrow at me.

"Does it even matter now?" My answer comes out quicker than anticipated.

"It does," she nods confidently. "It really does because I don't want us to be the same," Maya says softly, making my teeth chew my lips in nervousness, but she doesn't embarrass me by waiting for my answer to her earlier question.

"Communication. You both never really noticed how the other person felt, and you never told each other how you felt, and you have only been letting out your general frustration on each other when one of you tried to open up. You and Jang-Mi literally gave up trying for your own personal reasons. And both of you have felt unappreciated, unloved and unheard for the most part of your marriage..." Maya pauses for a breath, and then she continues.

"But I don't want us to do that, ever. I want us to talk it out no matter what the problem is. You may not always want to talk or listen, and that's okay. And it's the same with me. But I promise to always try, no matter what. Even if it is hard, we should still talk it all out, and even probably argue or fight it out, but never go silent and hope for the other person to magically understand everything. Do you also promise the same?" She extends her hand to me, and my eyes land on her hand before they lift to look at her.

I place my palm on hers, giving her my promise.
"I promise the same, Maya. I knew that Jang-Mi and I were failing in communicating with each other, but I don't think we genuinely tried. I know that I've also made many mistakes which caused us to drift apart, and I was finding it really hard to keep everything together... I just felt like running away at most times"

"You know, that's typical human nature to want to leave the mess and start afresh, but it isn't the best thing to do. To fix a problem and apologize, one should stay strong and give up useless emotions like pride and ego and genuinely want to work on correcting the mistakes. People matter more than anything else," she keeps her eyes on me as she speaks, looking straight into the depths of my soul where a lot of guilt about all of my past mistakes is boiling low.

Maya speaks softly as if she just read what's on my mind,
"It's okay, Taehyung. Don't beat yourself up over it. What's in the past should remain in the past, but if you've learnt from life, that's all that matters," she gently curls her fingers around my hand and squeezes it a little, and my eyes wander as I nod in response; the shame that's engulfing me making it hard for me to look into her eyes.

"And the third," she releases her hold on my hand and brings her index finger right in front of my face, lightly tapping the tip of my nose with it and smiling softly.

"Tell me already," I demand impatiently, and she clears her throat, sitting upright and pushing her hair behind her ears with both her hands, her eyes finally meeting mine after looking around everywhere else.

Now, this is definitely amplifying my nervousness and making a thousand new questions pop-up within my already worked-up brain.

"Taehyung," Maya takes my right hand and holds it inside both her hands; her gaze following our hands, as do mine.

"I'm sorry," she whispers softly as a drop of tear lands on the back of my hand that she's holding.

"Maya?"

"The delayed period isn't a pregnancy. It's just due to all the stress and sleeplessness and jet lag," she says in a breathy whisper, looking up at me through her teary eyes and giving me a sad smile that actually makes me a little sad too.

"How did you know?" I raise my eyebrows in doubt.

"I fainted outside the café when Jang-Mi and I were about to leave," her words make my eyes widen in shock. "And then she insisted that I see a doctor, and that's what we did. I got tested for pregnancy at the hospital, and it came out negative," Maya says sadly, making me let out the breath that I was holding in.

Even though my life is a big mess right now, I'm entirely sure about one thing. I don't want us to rush into starting a family although I eventually see myself settling down with a bigger family that I want to build with Maya. So, right now, I was actually hoping for it not to be a pregnancy, albeit we haven't consciously used any form of birth control—which was quite foolish on my part to be so impulsive.

But I know very well that Maya was hoping for it to be a positive pregnancy, given how happy she seemed when she told me about the missed period earlier today, and her tears right now when she said that it isn't actually a pregnancy. In a way, I'm a little relieved because she didn't have her hopes up for too long, only to discover the same a little later

Yet, right now, I can't even imagine how disappointed she must be feeling.

Seeing her in tears makes a few of my own tears to swell and breach the boundaries of my eyes and stream down my cheeks, one retracing the path of the other as I hold her chin in my hand and lift up her face to look into her eyes, crying together with her in this painful moment.

"Maya, do you know these gut feelings that tell us when something significant is about to happen?" I lace my fingers through hers, inching closer to her with a big smile amidst my tears; my deep voice being the only sound in the room other than the sounds of our heavy breaths.

"Mhm?" She blinks, making another tear to glide down her cheeks while her free hand traces the spot below my ear, our lips just a breath apart now and dying to meet.

"I felt that when I decided to attend the reunion. I wasn't hoping for anything, but I was also hoping for something that I didn't even know what it was..." a soft chuckle falls from my lips in a desperate attempt to ease her pain. "It was just magical when I met you that night after so many years," I swipe my thumb over her cheek, wiping away her tear streaks.

"So, let's trust in timing, Maya. I want to live a long and happy life with you, and down the years, we should make lots of babies too. And we'll know it from our instincts when that beautiful moment presents itself in our lives," her chin quivers and her tears fall even more upon hearing my words, as do mine, and she nods a few times keeping her eyes down.

"You're the best part of my life, Maya. I don't even know if I deserve all this, but thank you for loving me and trusting me with your everything," My lips touch her forehead in a kiss that makes all her tense muscles relax; her whole body going soft at once.

"I love you so much," I say in a whisper as I cup her face in both my hands and speak between kisses that I plant on her nose and her cheeks and finally on her lips.

"I love you more, Taehyung," Maya seals her love with her lips on mine, and I can't be more thankful for having her in my life at such a moment and to be able to give back her love and comfort her through her pain and sadness.

I know that motherhood is something that she is destined for, and that it will definitely happen at the right moment in our lives.

Ugh! Please, I ugly cried while writing these past four chapters.
🤧🤧🤧

New character(s) coming up in the next two chapters. Guess who?

Published on : 05/28/2022