We'll make this work. I want us to work. I love you so much, Lia.

Lia's

MUGTONG – MUGTO ang mga mata ko habang pinapanood ang interview ni Lemuel. Lahat sinalo niya, kahit mga bagay na hindi naman dapat niya aminin ay inamin niya. He said that he was behind all of these, na kaya niya ginawa ito ay para manalo siya sa eleksyon because ehe badly needed to win. Lumabas pa tuloy na mangagamit si Lemuel at ako ay inosenteng babaeng na-in love sa kanya kaya hindi ko napansin that he was taking advantage of me. I don't know why he is doing all of these. Hindi niya sinabi sa akin ang plano niya, ang masakit pa, naisip kong kaya niya ako inuwi rito ay dahil plano na niya talaga ito, he didn't want me to know because I will disagree, dapat pinag – usapan muna naming dalawa ito.

Ang pinakanakakainis sa lahat ay ako lang ang walang kaalam – alam. Even Atlanta knows. Kasama yata siya ni Lemuel sa studio na iyon. I wiped my tears. Kanina pa tapos ang interview, hindi ko nan ga alam kung ilang beses ko nang napanood at naulit ang part na sinasabi ni Lemuel na he is willing to leave behind everything, kung dahil sa ginawa niya ay mababago ang tingin sa kanya ng lahat ay wala siyang magagawa, if his people think that it's better for him to resign, then he would. But I was hoping na hindi kami darating sa parteng iyon. The people of the city deserve Lemuel and his clean and good governance. Saka kahit anuman ang problemang kinahaharap namin ngayon, labas dapat ang trabaho niya. Hindi showbiz si Lemuel, masakit mang aminin pero nandito kaming dalawa ngayon dahil sa akin at sa trabaho ko.

"Anak..." Nagulat ako nang magsalita si Daddy mula sa likuran ko. Nakaupo kasi ako sa kama at sa tv ako nakaharap habang yakap – yakap ko ang unan na ginamit ni Lemual kahapon. It still smells like him. I miss him, I hope he comes back to we can talk it out o kung hindi man siya uuwi ay ako na lang ang luluwas. I can tell his bodyguards to take me to him. Susunod naman siguro sila sa akin.

"Daddy..." Agad akong umusog papunta kay Daddy nang tumabi siya sa akin. I cried in his chest and he keeps on trying to console me. Hindi ko makalma ang sarili ko. "You know..." I heard him sigh. "You know very well that I never liked Lemuel, even before you tell us that you two were in a relationship. Hindi kasi malinaw sa akin anak kung bakit siya ang pinili mong makasama, samantalang nasa pulitika siya at madalas mong sabihin noon na gusto mo lang ng tahimik na buhay. I always thought that you'd break up, but last night, he told us everything. Inaamin kong nakaramdam ako ng galit anak, but also, what happened last night made me see him in a light. Mahal na mahal ka niya. Para sa kanya, di bale na kung saan kayo nagsimula, basta kayong dalawa ang magkasama sa huli. What he did today is so manly of him anak. You should never let him go."

"Pero, Daddy, people now are hating on him. Ang dami – dami nilang sinasabi sa kanya sa social media. Baka hindi na siya pagkatiwalaan ng mga constituents niya, saka hindi lang naman siya ang may gusto nito. He should've told people that there's a contract, that we both agreed on it. Hindi iyon siya lang ang masama kasi hindi naman siya iyon. We both benefited from this, dapat magkasama naming harapin ang mga tao." Napahikbi na naman ako. Yumakap lang ako lalo nang mahigpit kay Daddy. Hindi ko kayang naiisip nan nasasaktan si Lemuel tapos mukhang maaaring mawala sa kanya ang lahat ng pinaghirapan niya. Paano na ang kandidatura niya sa mga susunod na buwan? Malapit na naman ang eleksyon. I know he would want to serve again, but because of this issue, mukhang mawawalan ng saysay ang lahat.

"You know what he said last night?" Hindi ako nagsalita kay nagpatuloy si Daddy. "Aanhin pa raw ba niya ang lahat ng mayroon siya kung mawawala ka raw? He wants to be with you, Lia."

And I want to be with him too. Daddy let me cry for a longer time in his chest, napagod na lang ako kaya ako tumigil. I have decided to sleep on it. Magulong – magulo ang isipan ko at kung ganito nang ganito, lalong hindi ako makakapag – isip nang maayos. I promised myself that I will think of a plan when I wake up later. I need to do something for him too. Alam naman ng lahat na kung hindi ginawa ni Lemuel ang interview at inako ang lahat ng kasalanan ay malilintikan ang apat na taong career na pinagpaguran ko. I was willing to sacrifice everything for him, para sa akin ay mas mahalaga ang trabaho ni Lemuel. He helps people, while I pose for pretty pictures, get paid, I act and cry in front of the camera pero sino ba ang natutulungan noon kundi ang sarili ko lang? Lemuel shouldn't be doing this.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. I need to relax to be able to fall asleep. I need a clear mind later. I need to sleep and that's exactly what I did. Hindi ko na nga lang alam kung ilang oras kong sinusubukang patulugin ang sarili ko, but I woke up – hindi ko rin alam kung ilang oras ang nakalipas bago ako nagising – when I felt something touch my forehead. I wasn't sure at first but when I slowly opened my eyes, I saw a pair of lips fluttering over my face, ilang saglit pa ang lumipas nang maging malinaw sa akin ang lahat.

It's Lemuel. Agad akong napabangon para yakapin siya nang napakahigpit. He kept on kissing my hair, my forehead and then my shoulder. Pigil na pigil pa sana ang pag-iyak ko pero hindi ko rin napigilan ang damdamin ko. I started sobbing uncontrollably. He was trying to calm me down.

"Bak- bakit mo ako iniwanan? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin ang gagawin mo?" Muffled ang boses ko habang nagsasalita dahil nakadukdok ako sa dibdib niya. He slowly pushed me away and then cupped my face. He was drying my tears away. Hinagkan niya pa ang nakausli kong labi.

"You've been doing a lot of things for me, Lia. It's time that I do something for you."

"But... but what you said in the interview, hindi naman totoo ang ilan doon."

"It doesn't matter. I don't care, by the end of the day the only thing that matters to me is you and what you think of me. Wala akong pakialam kung sabihan nila akong manggagamit – in the true sense of this all, we started like that, but my intentions changed immediately. I'm sorry if I tried to forget these feelings, I'm sorry if I have other girls on the side, but I can do better, Lia. I will love you better."

Naniniwala ako sa kanya, tango nga lang ako nang tango.

"I will take care of you. I will let you do anything you want. I talked to Atlanta, hindi na siya makikialam sa ating dalawa. I told her that I don't need her as a manager anymore. Living our lives in public is tiring. I want us to be real but lowkey. Tama na sa aking alam ng lahat na akin ka at sa'yo ako, but we don't have to share all the details of our relationship. I love you, Lia."

"I love you too, Lemuel." Muli ko na naman siyang niyakap. We basked in each other's body warmth. I love the feel of him over me. I feel so safe and warm.

"Lia..."

"Hmmm?" Lalong humigpit lang ang yakap ko sa kanya.

"You do realize that after your parents, we need to face mine."

And when I understood what he said to me, my eyes opened immediately – the only hing in my mind right now is his Mom. I could just imagine how disappointed she is right now.

"Oh no..." Tanging nawika.

xxxx

I love you...

Lemuel always tells me those words. Mukhang totoo iyong sinasabi niyang babawi siya sa akin, he takes care of me everyday while we're still in my parents' house. Nagpasya kaming mag-stay pa muna ng ilang araw sa Nueva Ecija. He told me that he wanted to rest for a while bago niya harapin ang pamilya niya. Ang alam ko ay nagkausap na sila ng Papa noong isang araw and when he said na makikipag – usap kami at uuwi ng Ilocos, pero pinauuwi kaming dalawa sa Bulacan – sa Hacienda Asuncion and I don't know why he seems to be more tensed about it.

"Is he okay?" Tanong ni Mommy sa akin habang naghihiwa kami ng patatas sa kusina habang si Daddy at Lemuel ay nasa likod bahay at nag-iihaw ng bangus. Tanghalian namin iyon. Mukhang napansin rin ni Mommy na kakaiba ang galaw ng asawa ko kaya napatanong na rin siya. I just sighed.

"Hindi ko nga po alam. Kinausap kasi niya si Papa noong isang gabi and he was told na sa Bulacan kami umuwi. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit siya nag-aalala. Mababait naman ang mga kamag-anakan niya sa Bulacan po."

"Maybe he's just tense and do you know how to loosen him up, anak?" Bigla akong nalingon kay Mommy. Noong una ay hindi ko alam kung anong ibig niyang sabihin but when I recognized the smile on her face, namula ang buong mukha ko. Natawa naman si Mommy sa akin. "Bakit, anak, has it been that long that you're blushing like a virgin bride?"

Wala naman nang maitatago kay Mommy. Alam naman ng lahat sa bahay na ito kung anong sitwasyon naming dalawa, so there's no reason why I cannot say what I need to say.

"Well, Mom..." I smiled at her. "We haven't had sex ever since we got married. We sleep in different rooms. Maybe he has done things that had hurt me, but he respected me as a woman." Nakatitig lang si Mommy sa akin, biglang hinawakan niya ang kamay ko.

"Like what your dad said, he is a good man, a bit misunderstood but he is a good man so you need to take care of him."

"I will take care of him."

"Better be kundi ay ihahanap ko si Lemuel ng ibang asawa."

"MA!" Napasigaw ako sakto naman na pumasok na sa kitchen sina Papa. Agad akong tumayo para salubungin si Lemuel pero lumayo siya sa akin.

"Amoy pawis ako." He said to me.

"Ano naman ngayon?" I hugged him and made him stay still. He was squirming, wanting to get away from me but I didn't budge.

"Ihhh! Gusto ko ng hug!"

"Ang baho ko nga!"

"Hindi kaya!" Sukat ba naman tumakbo si Lemuel palayo sa akin, kaya hinabol ko siya. Nakarating kami sa may backyard, paikot – ikot kami sa ilalim ng puno ng mangga. I was laughing. I want this to happen to us every day. I want to bask in this happiness. Hindi ako makapaniwala na finally, maaari ko nang hawakan si Lemuel nang hindi kamo nagtataguan ng feelings.

"I caught you!" I giggled when I enclosed my arms on his waist. Tawa nang tawa si Lemuel, finally, he face me, tapos biglang pinaamoy niya sa akin ang kilikili niya. Tawang – tawa ako habang nagsisigaw. "Lemuel! Argghhh! Lemuel!"

"I'll stop! I'll stop!" He giggled and then embraced me. Nakalabi ako habang titig na titig sa kanya, he kissed my pout away.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" I asked him. Bukas ang pagpunta namin sa Bulacan at sa totoo lang naman talaga ay kinakabahan din ako. It pains to think that the woman I had admired for a long time – his mother, now hates me because we fooled all of them.

"No..."

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm scared that your Mom hates me now."

"We'll talk to them just like what I did to your parents. May kasalanan ako sa kanila, they can't blame you."

"Of course not. May parte rin naman ako dito. Pumayag ako, pero pumayag ako dahil crush kita noon." Again, I tried to act so cutely. He giggled and pecked my forehead.

"Basta, akong bahala. We'll make this work. I want us to work. I love you so much, Lia."

"I love you too."

In the middle of the broad daylight, Lemuel kissed me, and all I could do is sigh. We're facing our problems one at the time and I am looking forward to that day when will finally be free.