Chapter 35
"For what it's worth," James says that night, after hours of Castiel's miserable silence, "you were right."
Castiel looks over at him reluctantly. They've tried cheering him up in every way imaginable, and failed every time.
"Sam Winchester is a good man," he says. "I get what you saw in them."
Castiel offers him a half smile for his effort.
"Well, for what it's worth," Emma says, "I was right. Dean Winchester can go fuck himself."
That one gets to him. He can't help but chuckle, not in agreement, but just because it's so her.
"Ah, see, he gets it," Emma says with a grin. "Cas knows what's up."
Castiel just shakes his head, amused. It doesn't make him feel much better, but it's something.
"Hey, you know what would cheer you up?" Emma asks.
Castiel sighs. "Yes?"
Emma digs through her bag until she finds a deck of cards. "Go Fish!"
Castiel shakes his head. "I don't think so."
"Ah, come on, it'll be fun," Emma insists.
Castiel shakes his head again. "No, thank you."
"Then what do you want to do?" Emma asks, exasperated. "'Cause you can't just sit around here and mope all day."
All he says is, "Okay." He pushes himself to his feet, rather reluctantly, and heads to the motel door.
"Woah, hold the phone," Emma says quickly. "Where do you think you're going?"
"You said I couldn't mope in here," Castiel says. "So I'm going to mope outside."
"You're not leaving, are you?" she asks skeptically.
"If I was going to leave, I would have done it this afternoon," Castiel says. "I just... I need a minute."
This time, when Castiel heads to the door, no one tries to stop him. He takes a seat outside on the motel steps, looking up at the sky. The stars are beautiful tonight. They always are.
He watched the stars with the Winchesters once. They'd just come back from a case, and the adrenaline was still kicking, so sleep wasn't an option. It was Sam's idea to lie in the grass outside, though Castiel swears he enjoyed it the most. He learned so much that night. He'd been around since the stars were born, but he'd never appreciated them before. He didn't know people had made shapes out of them, or given them all names. Sam and Dean pointed out all the constellations, and Castiel loved every moment of it, though he couldn't recall a single one now even if he tried.
"Hey, look, it's the Big Dipper!"
Castiel looks behind himself to see Emma in the doorway, looking down at him with a sympathetic smile.
"Do you know the constellations?" Castiel asks. Maybe it's a hunter thing.
But she shakes her head. "No, that's the extent of my knowledge of astronomy."
"Oh." Castiel frowns. It was worth a shot.
"Mind if I sit?" she asks. "Or do you want to be alone?"
Castiel hesitates. He came out here to be alone, but he doesn't want to be rude. He's had enough people tell him to go away in his life, and he wouldn't wish it on anyone else. He slides over on the stair, making space for her to sit.
The door closes, and she takes a seat next to him. "Are you looking at the stars, too?"
He nods.
"I guess that begs the question, do you know any constellations?"
He shakes his head again.
"Well, I guess that leaves us one choice."
Castiel cocks his head to the side, squinting. "What do you mean?"
"I guess we need to make up our own," she says with a grin. "See, that one over there?" She points up at the sky. "The cluster over there? And there's a little crooked line of stars coming off it?"
He has to search the sky for a minute or so, but eventually, it catches his eye. "I see it."
"That looks like a flower to me," she says. "I think it needs a name. What should we name the flower?"
Castiel just shrugs.
"Dave?" she suggests. "Dave. I'm going with Dave."
"I don't think that's how constellations work," Castiel says.
"See, that's the beauty of it," Emma says. "It works however you want it to work."
Castiel chuckles softly. That sure is an idea.
"Do you want to make one?" she asks.
Castiel doesn't respond, his gaze glued to the sky.
"I'll take that as a 'no,'" Emma mumbles, disappointed.
They sit in silence for a few minutes, both looking up at the sky. It's a gorgeous sight, even more so than usual. Whether it's because the sky is clear or because he's taking the time to look, he's not quite sure.
Finally, Castiel points and says, "Below Dave, a little to the left, there's a squiggle."
"Where?" Emma asks, eyes scanning the sky.
"It kind of outlines that big empty space," he says.
"What — oh, yeah, I think I see it," she says.
"It looks like a worm," he says. "Or... maybe a moustache."
Emma laughs softly. "Yeah, you know, I kinda do see a moustache."
"Its name is..." Castiel thinks for a moment. What should he name this celestial moustache?
"Come on, think of something good," she says. "Historians are going to look back on this centuries from now. Don't disappoint them."
He can't help but smile to himself at that. He understands it's a joke, but the idea that his name for them will follow these stars wherever he goes is beautiful. He really doesn't want to disappoint.
Finally, he says, "I think I'll name it Genesis."
Emma tears her gaze away from the sky to look at him. "Why Genesis?"
"Genesis means a new beginning." He looks down at her and smiles. "And that's where we are now."
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