I close my eyes
and miss
the fear I felt
when you didn't
come home at night
to your unmade bed.

I close my ears
and miss
the sound I heard
when your calloused palm
tapped
     my head
     my head
     my head.

I close my eyes
and miss
the sensation I bore
when you made the stick's end
a companion
to my raw hide.

I close the door
to my mind
and miss
the smile I saw,
on your dear, dear face
as you gently put
my mother's iron
on my arm.

I open my eyes
and wish
you wouldn't take these
familiar things from me
and give them to another

who wouldn't appreciate them
as much as I do

and I open my mind
and wish
that you'll GO TO HELL!!

and take me
because I don't want to be

alone.