Tyler

When I woke in the middle of the night, Piper was gone. My bed felt cold and empty. I realized that for the first time in a long time, I had slept soundly. For the first time in a long time, the nightmares hadn't plagued me. I had slept so soundly I felt like a brand new man.

All along I had thought only the alcohol could numb me enough to make the nightmares stay at bay, but all along I only needed her.

For the first time in my life I looked forward to what was to come. For the first time in my life I wanted more. I had never slept with a girl twice; I had never wanted too. But with Piper I wanted more. I needed more.

I closed my eyes, seeing her clearly in my head. Seeing her long red hair splayed across my pillow, her eyes hooded and staring up at me. The long scar that marred her beautiful body, its only purpose to make her even more beautiful. It was a part of her, and despite not knowing how it got there, I loved it.

I could still feel her touch against my skin, her legs wrapped tightly around me. I remembered the way it felt to be buried inside her, the way her soft moans filled my ears. It was like heaven.

I had spent an hour pleasuring her, forsaking my own needs just to make sure she was sated before taking for myself. Every moment, every second, was all about her. Time stood still for me as I wrapped myself up in her, giving her everything I could possibly give.

I longed to do it all over again, and then again, until I had nothing more to offer her. I hadn't even meant to fall asleep, but I felt safe with her arm wrapped around my chest. I felt whole again. I felt alive again.

My phone buzzed on the bedside table. I rolled over and grabbed it, somehow hoping it was Piper. As far as I knew she didn't have my number, but it was possible she could have gotten it from someone.

Sad lonely girl had struck again. Was it possible to want two people so desperately at the same time?

I waited a beat before another message came through.

I thought for a moment, wondering exactly how she had gotten that nickname. It had really just been in a quick haste to get my phone in my pocket. Her first text made me think sad and lonely so that is what I called her.

Several minutes passed without another word from her. Anxiety swelled within me. Then finally my phone buzzed.

The magnitude of her statement swept over me and suddenly it all made sense. The hurt, the words, the pain she must have felt. But why? Why would she text him as if he were there reading them if all along he was dead?

Another several moments passed and I wondered if I had again said the wrong thing. I wondered what I was even doing when I had someone like Piper. Was Piper even mine? And why did it feel like the two of them connected somehow? Were they that similar to one another?

I realized it was never even about that. I didn't want her. I'd never meet sad lonely girl. She was just some girl on the other end of a screen who was like me. It was Piper I wanted. The Piper that I had fallen for. I realized I wouldn't change a thing about her. Not a single damn thing.

She text again and I stared at it. Did I really want to answer that? Would the truth scare her away?

Honesty was best in a situation like this. It wasn't like she could find me and punch me for not saying anything.

I had wanted to. I had wanted to send her a message for a long time but I was afraid. Afraid that it would just end. I didn't want it to end.

I rolled over on my stomach, propping my chin up on my hands. The phone laid directly under me, the screen glowing as I waited for her response.

I sat there for a moment, just staring at the screen and reading the words over and over again. It was starting to look like I had messed up big time. Maybe I should have said something that very first day. I should have told her she had the wrong number. I was desperate to keep her talking though.

I didn't truly know what she needed, but it felt right at the time. Now I was wondering if I had made another mistake. I always made mistakes. Hell even I was a mistake.

A mistake who makes mistakes. How ironic.

I held my breath, waiting for her response. This was where she would tell me to fuck off and never message her again. This would be the rejection of all rejections. A rejection from someone who didn't even know me.

My mind drifted back to Piper and what she would think if she knew about sad lonely girl. Would she feel betrayed? Would she be angry? Would she hate me for this?

Anger and hate towards me was the last thing I wanted her to feel, so I wondered if I was doing the right thing to text sad lonely girl back like this.

I just couldn't help the fact she intrigued me. And somehow I needed to know more. Piper would understand wouldn't she?

For some reason I didn't want to tell her my name. What if she somehow miraculously went to school here? She would know of my reputation and it would ruin it all. Or worse, she wouldn't take me seriously.

I did the only thing I could think of. I told her my middle name. It was easier than taking the chance that she somehow knew me as Tyler. After all, her phone number was the same area code as mine. That meant she was somewhere within the lines of the surrounding counties.

I almost wanted to take it back. To tell the truth and hope for the best. Almost.

She wants to know me. She doesn't want to stop this either.

I thought about what to say, knowing I didn't want her to know who I used to be. There was one thing that no one else knew. One thing I could tell her. But did I want to? Did I want to spill that secret to anyone?

There I said it. Maybe she wouldn't think I was some idiotic asshole. Though I wouldn't blame her if she did.

Compared to other things I could say, that was the one thing I had never shared with anyone. Now sad lonely girl and I had a secret, something that bonded us well beyond our initial contact with one another.

I sounded like an asshole. She was going to think I was the biggest jerk in the world. Since when did past hurts become a competition? And since when did I think putting my foot in my mouth would help the situation.

I was already going crazy not knowing who she was. I decided in that moment I needed to know her name.

She didn't answer again for the rest of the night. I spent the majority of it staring at my phone, willing it to go off again.

*

"Hey Ty." Piper said as she walked into class.

She picked the seat beside me and I wondered what, if anything, that meant. Did it mean she wanted more too? Because I was certainly all for that.

"Why did you leave in the middle of the night?" I asked, looking over at her with concern.

"I didn't think you would notice." She said, looking anywhere but at me.

"Hard not to notice when my bed is cold and empty."

She glanced around the mostly empty room, turning back to me after a few moments.

"I just assumed that was how things went. That you know, once it was done, it was done. You are hit it and quit it Ty after all." She whispered.

Of course she thought that. My reputation proceeds me. But she wasn't like any other girl. She was different.

"Is that what you want?" I asked, fearful that this would be it for us.

"Does it matter what I want?"

What was with her weird questions? Of course it mattered what she wanted. I thought I had made that perfectly clear.

"Do you want to go get a new blanket after class? One that you don't hate I mean." I decided changing the subject was best for now. Obviously my words wouldn't have any effect on her, so I needed to show her this was real for me.

"You don't have to do that. I don't need a consolation prize for sleeping with you." Her words were hateful, and I couldn't help but reach out and caress her face.

"It certainly isn't a consolation prize. Besides no gift in this world could ever begin to say just how much I enjoyed last night." I smiled, reaching down to grasp her hand in mine. "Or how much I want to do it again."

Her eyebrows furrowed, her eye shifting up just enough to look curious but also unsatisfied.

"I thought once was your max. That's why they call you that."

I laughed, squeezing her hand tighter in mine. She glanced down and then back up at me.

"Normally, but I'm sure we can break those rules." I was starting to sound more like an ass. More like the old me. The guy I was trying to leave behind.

What the fuck Tyler just stop.

"Look Ty, I knew going into it how it would be. You don't have to try to make me feel better because you feel sorry for me." She jerked her hand away, and leaned down to pull her notebook from her bag.

Before I could respond the professor came in and began class.

I took out my own notebook, scrawling a message and thrusting it at her.

She read the note, thinking for a moment before writing her answer and laying it on my lap.

I smiled, satisfaction flowing through me. One chance. I just had to make sure I didn't screw it up.

Class droned on, the professor talking in a monotone and lulling me back to sleep. Piper nudged me a few times to wake me up, but I still kept drifting.

After class she packed her things away and stood, turning back towards me.

"Why are you so tired?"

Because I was up all night talking to another girl.

"I couldn't sleep after you left." I said, giving her half of the truth.

"I know the feeling. I watched Sophie sleep for most of the night."

Sophie. Where have I heard that name before?

"Who is Sophie?"

Her eyes widened as she realized she had revealed more than she intended to.

"Just a friend from my past who is staying with me for a while. I've gotta go, but we can meet up later if you want." She started down the steps without waiting for my answer.

"I'll be by your dorm at seven." I called to her retreating back.

*

I went home and showered, making sure to be as presentable as possible for our little date. Was it even a date? Surely it was a date.

I sprayed myself with cologne, scrunching my nose up and spraying again for maximum smell. I coughed, realizing I had maybe put on a little too much and decided to change my shirt just in case.

I was nervous, and nervous wasn't something I was used to. My palms were sweating, my knees felt wobbly, and I realized that if this didn't go well I could kiss Piper goodbye.

I kept thinking back to earlier, that name she had said, trying to place it in my head. I knew I had heard it before, I just wasn't sure where.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and a smile creeped across my face. I pulled it out, swiping the screen to open the new text.

Oh sad lonely girl, that's a shame.

I was trying to keep the conversation flowing, my interest had definitely peaked about her now. Why wouldn't she just tell me her name?

I still had a good hour to waste before I needed to leave for Piper's so I made the most of it with sad lonely girl. As long as I could keep her talking she would be alright. She wouldn't feel the overwhelming sadness that she felt when she was alone.

I had kept her up half the night. Maybe she didn't answer me her name last night because she had fallen asleep.

I typed a reply, laughing and hoping she would catch the joke. If she didn't then she was probably stupid or something. Or maybe I was stupid.

I laughed even harder at her answer. Brave little girl she was.

I could just imagine her laughing, curled up in a chair with her legs hanging over it, typing away on her phone.

A tool. Yep, I had walked right into that one. Me and my big mouth. I couldn't take offense though. I was a tool, always had been and probably always would be.

I skipped back through the messages, re-reading the one about the guy who she wasn't interested in but wouldn't leave her alone. I wonder if she had let him down easy like she had said. Poor guy.

Now I felt sorry for the guy. She had compared him to a dog. It made sense, but that was harsh.

I knew a thing or two about coming back for more. I was a player after all. When I wanted something, I got it. I just hoped that her player boy wouldn't break her heart. She seemed to have more than enough heartbreak to go around.

Damn. Player boy was a lucky guy. I knew what that felt like. I had gotten real lucky with Piper. I just hoped he would treat her right like I planned to with Piper. I didn't want to see sad lonely girl broken again.

I glanced back at the clock, realizing time had passed by so quickly that if I didn't get a move on I would be late to my own date. So without waiting for a reply, I booked it right out the door.