February 8th

Skye stuck to her vow of not speaking about the dance and her feelings for Levi. It had been a week since she told herself that, and today would prove that vow was completely worthless. Yes, completely, utterly, and absolutely worthless. Like she wrote to her future self last week, she tended to make stupid decisions, and this was no different.

The time came where Skye branded herself as an idiot came at lunchtime as she sat across Levi like usual, eating the last bits of her food. Levi was notably quiet today, and she had caught onto that quickly. Skye didn't have a clue why he was so quiet, but she was going to get to the bottom of it before the end of the school day.

"Hey, why have you been so quiet today? Did something happen that I don't know about?" She asked, setting down her drink and resting her elbow on the table.

"Actually, yeah." Levi finally spoke, much to Skye's surprise. She had expected a no, but hearing "yeah" was getting them somewhere.

"Well, are you gonna speak more than two words and tell me?" Skye questioned with a little bit of sass. "You can tell me anything, you know."

Of course, he could tell her everything, but this certain thing was major. No, it wasn't him confessing his feelings. He too held back, fearing the same things Skye feared. But what Levi was about to say could make or break everything anyway, and he figured he might as well blurt it out already.

"Megan called me over the weekend."

Skye's eyes widened the moment Megan's name came out of Levi's mouth. Yes, in a late-night phone call, Megan called her ex and he actually answered. Levi hadn't thought of her in so long that he forgot she was even in his contacts, but when he saw that she liked his Instagram post from Friday night, he immediately got nervous anticipating her next move. That phone call was her next move, and now it was Levi's turn to make his.

"She did?"

"Yeah, last night, actually." He said.

Skye noticed how he wasn't very smiley about this. Most people would be excited to hear from their ex, especially in a case where they missed them too, but it didn't seem like Levi missed Megan anymore, and Skye couldn't quite make things add up. "Oh, that's... cool? I can't tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing."

"No, it's a good thing, well, I think," Levi replied. "But um, she saw pictures from the dance then called saying she missed me and asked if I wanted to meet up with her at Sadie's Diner on Sunday."

Oh no. "That's Valentine's Day."

"I know."

Valentine's Day out of all days. Way to go, Megan. Clearly, her intentions seemed to be a romantic one, at least in Skye's eyes. No ex will ever hit you up asking to go out on Valentine's Day if they didn't want to get back together, so Skye knew that she completely lost. Not only did she lose, but she lost to the most perfect girl in the world.

"Well, that's great." Skye lied in a bold move. God, she was such a horrible liar, but Levi didn't suspect a thing. "You said how much you missed her awhile back."

"Yeah..." Levi wanted this to be a good thing, but for some reason, it wasn't. Once upon a time, he had missed his ex-girlfriend for months, but once his friendship with Skye progressed and his feelings grew by the minute, he missed the girl that once had his heart less and less. He couldn't even give her a definite answer as Skye was the first thing on his mind upon being asked the question, so Levi left it at a maybe and thought to talk to Skye about it the moment he could, hoping she'd give him a reason to stop him.

Skye was no mind reader, so she had no idea what was going through Levi's head. All she could feel was a pain in her chest, one that she had the night she lost Nikki. It was the same feeling she felt at homecoming when she watched Levi slow dance with her. She didn't think she'd ever feel this way again, but here she was feeling her heart shatter over Megan seemingly trying to come back into the picture, except now she knew the reason why she was feeling this way.

"Did you say you'd go?" She asked, her foot tapping in anticipation as to whether Levi said yes or no, not knowing he said maybe until now, also finding out that he had no idea what he was going to say to Megan.

"I said maybe. I really don't know what to say to her, to be honest."

If only she had said something in the first place. Skye knew she'd regret holding back on her feelings, and this very moment proved exactly that. She wanted to beg him to not go, tell him she's in love with him, but the thought and confessing scared her so much, almost to the point where her heart could burst so Skye's fight or flight instincts made her end up saying something she knew she'd regret quickly.

"Go."

"Huh?"

"I think you should go," Skye said.

"W-why?" Yeah, why was Skye saying this? To put it simply, Skye felt like she didn't deserve Levi. She never did, and it only got worse as time went on. Plus, in every teenagers eyes, you can never compare to an ex, especially if they're a first love, but Levi was Skye's first love, so no one could ever compare to him.

"See what she says, get some closure? Plus, a good meal at Sadie's." She replied with a forced laugh at the end. Sure, Levi could get closure, but wasn't that closure about six months too late? He guessed it was better late than never.

"Well, I value your advice a lot, so I guess I'll say yes then." Oh god. If Skye knew that, she would have said the complete opposite for sure, maybe even blurted how helplessly in love she was with him. It was far too late now to turn it all back. If only Skye had a time machine right now.

"Good. Um, I have to go to the bathroom." She stood, throwing her backpack on her shoulders and picking up her lunch tray.

"Oh, okay." Levi frowned.

"There's only five minutes left, so I probably won't be back," Skye said, trying to leave as quickly as possible, but Levi stopped her in her tracks.

"Skye, wait. Are you alright?" He asked, trying (but failing) to read what her eyes were saying to him right now.

"Yeah, I'll, uh, see you at art." She lied and left it at that, finally getting out of the conversation before she made an even bigger fool of herself.

As Skye turned her back and walked out of the cafeteria, tears formed in her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away in embarrassment while she made a swift exit. She just couldn't bear to deal with this feeling in front of Levi or anyone for that matter, so she needed time alone before having to head to her next class, and she definitely didn't want to walk in there crying.

•••

Having not spoken to Levi since she left lunch abruptly, Skye awkwardly walked into art class and sat in her sitting, impatiently waiting for Levi to walk in and make a comment about earlier. When he did walk in, their eyes met for a brief moment before Skye darted them away and avoided his gaze as he sat with her.

"Hey," Levi said quietly.

Skye carefully looked up at him, not wanting to immediately get flustered before even speaking a word to him after their conversation from earlier. "Hey."

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Yet again another lie from Skye. Lying sure seemed to be a reoccurring theme for her today, huh? "Just, uh, girl stuff."

"Girl stuff?"

"You know..." she said in embarrassment, motioning her hands to attempt to reference that time of the month. It was a total lie, but Skye had to make up some sort of excuse for her exit other than the actual truth. It seemed to work well as Levi's mouth turned into an O and he didn't question it any further. Maybe she would have to note to her future self that Levi won't question her if she excuses everything with period troubles.

There was no point in fighting on it, really. Levi wanted to assume it had nothing to do with that time of the month, but he would have felt insanely bad if she was actually going through it right now. He was simply too nice to put his foot down and yell out to the rooftops that he liked Skye, but after she told him to say yes to Megan, he was no longer under the impression that Skye could ever return his feelings for her.

In honor of Valentine's Day being this Sunday, Ms. Cloud thought it would be an amazing idea for her students to create an expressionist painting for the occasion. Seemed all too fitting, and with the way Skye's heart was feeling right now, she knew exactly what to do once she picked up a paintbrush.

Skye got an easel, a canvas, a set of paints and brushes then got to work. Yeah, this was supposed to be a painting expressing Valentine's Day, but that painting turned dark real quick. It wasn't quite romantic as the others. Well, except for Levi who was better at drawing than painting. He was kind of looking at the other students' paintings and winging it, but Skye's painting that started as a blank canvas turned into a melancholy, heart-wrenching painting about how she saw Valentine's Day.

As Ms. Cloud walked past everyone and scanned their paintings, she stopped upon seeing Skye's, shocked to see what her favorite student had come up with. "My, my, my, Skye! This is... totally outside of the box!"

She froze upon hearing her comment, looking around to see if any students stopped and stared at her, but thankfully they were unbothered as they worked on their own paintings. The only person who stopped what they were doing to listen was Levi. He hadn't seen her painting at all yet, so he was wondering what did Skye paint to make Ms. Cloud look so shocked and amazed.

"Do you want me to start over?" She asked, thinking she did the assignment all wrong, but that wasn't the case at all.

"No way!" Ms. Cloud exclaimed. "This is absolutely wonderful. It truly shows the dark side of Valentine's Day. Everyone focuses too much on the sugar-coated parts of it, but not you, Skye. Keep up the good work."

Skye mumbled a thank you and Ms. Cloud gave her a little pat on the back before walking to Levi to check out his painting, also commenting on it, but not a comment like Skye's. "Levi! Who captivated your heart to make you create such a painting?"

While Skye wasn't paying attention, pretending to be unbothered and not listening, Levi looked over at Skye as he responded to Ms. Cloud, being vague yet honest with his answer. "Uh, just this really cool girl I know."

"Oh, I see." Noticing Levi was looking at Skye, a grin crept up on Ms. Cloud's face, seeing exactly what was going on here. She walked away with the same old grin, secretly rooting for her two students.

Today was a really rough today, but the words of enthusiasm from her art teacher made things a little better. While she kept her emotions locked in tight until she got home, Skye couldn't wait to unleash them, especially when Levi was sitting right across from her. She didn't know how she'd make it through this week having to see his face so much, but Skye couldn't let this ruin her life forever.

As much as Skye wanted today's tears to be the last tears she'd ever shed over this, there were simply more tears left to cry, but she would run out of them sooner rather than later.

•••

Dear Future Me,

I regret everything. Skye Simmons officially joins the circus for a world tour and I'm the main event. I'm so stupid. So, so, so, so, so stupid, and I bet you can guess why.

Long story short, Levi is going out with Megan on Valentine's Day, and it's all my fault. I could have stopped him. I could have told him to say no, but the earth-shattering low self-esteem in me told him to go. What's even worse is that I could have prevented it days ago too.

Why didn't I just tell him how I feel? This friendship is probably ruined anyway! Megan will probably sweep him off his feet all over again and then eventually I'll just be kicked to the curb just like Nikki did to me. Oh my god, history is repeating itself. No, no way.

You know what? That's it. I have to do something. I don't know what I will do, but something is definitely going to happen on Valentine's Day. No matter who the guy is, I can't keep doing this to myself. No more Boo Boo the Fool.

Stay tuned, Future Me. I think we've got an epic finale coming up.

Sincerely,

Past Me.

•••

MARIA TALKS!

it's my birthday 😗 i'm 19 now woo!

anyway...

vote. don't miss it.

the finale begins now.