am i not good enough for the others? do they fucken hate me???? its a poly relationship but i feel like only two people love me out of the four.

im not sure how to feel about that because its really annoying. my bestfriend barely talks to me anymore, my ex boyfriend whos now my current boyfriend because he wanted to join hasnt actually had a conversation with me sense we broke up and i feel like hes still avoiding me. i know one of them has life problems so we dont always talk but when we do its just nice, nothing bad. then of course the other one talks to me like everyday,,,

he told me that i should tell those two how i feel but,,, i cant and never will. they both probably hate my entire being. i mean come on,,, not to sound like a jealous whore but they all love the main guy! he vents? oh look everyone is on that shit in a second!!

did i tell him that they all help him the moment he vents? no i didn't. i dont want him to think i hate him or the others. im just really annoyed,,, its about him all the time. im not mad or annoyed they help him, no im glad they do. my problem is they only really help him and everyone else in the server but me? nah im dead fucking weight.

i swear i dont exist to them sometimes and it hurts, i cant tell them or they might think i hate them or try to beg or some shit. im kinda tired of it,,, like legitimately leave me be, im not doing anything to hurt you. hmm thats not a good way to word it,,,, im just upset.

i already know no one likes me but god damn dont rub it in my face. i find it funny how my ex never really helped said anything when i vented on a server but when he did it? oh he was all over that in five minutes top,,,,, i dont feel appreciated you know?

if one of you are for some reason reading this then,,,, im sorry. not sure what you want me to do to fix this situation, i may be the oldest (i think) but im not going to fix everything for you, if you dont like me then just say it okay? tell me you dont love me but him and others. if you say that then i wont bother any of you okay??

im not in a good mood,,,, im really not,,,

❥ sun, october 18, 2020 4:08am