Hey Boo! 

I just quickly wanted to reach out to you about my friend, Fizzy Bubbles*. She’s currently battling depression and actually felt very suicidal a few days ago. She’s thankfully still here, but she got very, very close to killing herself. 

Fizzy* hasn't seen anyone about her depression and has only told a few people about it - in fact, you were one of them. Her chapter in Dear Boo was "Falling Apart". I’ve tried suggesting to her seeing a professional about this, but she said this was currently not possible for her. 

She said this to me:

“No one in my family knows I even have depression, and if my parents found out I, uh, hurt myself they would send me to a mental hospital or something, and they'd be really mad. Maybe one day, though.”

I tried checking if her school had a counselor that she could see without the need of telling her family. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, so that’s also out of the picture.

So my question to you is this: Despite all these roadblocks, is it possible for her to get the help she needs? I am not at all trained, but is there anything I can be doing to help as well? I’m just very scared that she might get suicidal again and might follow through this time.

Thank you so, so much for taking the time and effort to give people like me advice. You are a truly wonderful person! :)

Also, if you need to call me something, call me Zelda, I guess!

🌜🌝🌛🌜🌝🌛🌜🌝🌛🌜🌝🌛

Zelda*,

Hey, doll, thanks for writing to me. You wrote this many, many months ago, but I never got around to it due to everything that happened. I do deeply apologize for the major delay and appreciate how patient and sweet you've been about it.

I remember Fizzy Bubbles* very well. She and I talked often about things she was going through, but then everything got deleted and I couldn't contact her any longer. Please, let her know my email is still available if she needs to talk.

I believe every school should have a counselor available daily, but not all schools are that lucky. There are a few online websites that she can log in to and talk with someone. Also, a couple of phone numbers she can call and text to get help. I will list the websites and phone numbers at the end of this letter.

I understand her being afraid to talk with her family, so getting professional help isn't an option. Sometimes people don't treat others very well, so telling them something this deep and important wouldn't matter to them. To me, those people are heartless. I don't care if I know someone deeply or not at all, if they tell me they are harming themselves I will do what I can to help. 

Do you know if she has tried any coping mechanisms to help when she gets the urge to self-harm or when she has suicidal ideations? They don't help everyone, but it wouldn't hurt to try some. I will also list some ideas below. Maybe you can bring them up when talking to her to see if they can help her. I've used a few of these coping mechanisms myself and others have told me that they worked for them. 

Self-harm is something that many teens (and adults) deal with daily. It takes a lot of strength and courage to speak up about this. I'm proud of her for how far she has come.  She could have not told you or me anything, but she trusted us with this info. 

Fizzy's* low self-esteem and depression play a big part in her self-harm. Her parents are very neglectful and don't take care of her as they should. This digs deep in her mind, which makes her think she isn't worthy. Love from your parents is extremely important, but it's also important to love yourself. I don't believe that Fizzy* loves herself the way she should. She would refer to herself as ugly, unworthy, and unlovable. I just wish she could see how much her friends love and support her—myself included.

However, it's hard to believe that when your mind is screaming something that is the complete opposite. I do think she needs to start trying to love herself and boost her self-esteem up while opening up to someone about these harmful thoughts. 

I hate that she can't get professional help for her depression. It would make a huge difference in her life. I battle with depression daily and when I don't take my medicine I can definitely feel a huge difference in myself. 

Has she tried talking with someone with the suicidal hotline or the crisis text line? Both of them can be beneficial for many people. I will also list those so you can send them to her.

How does she know her family will react negatively if she opens up to them? Have they spoken about this before with her? Sometimes we think parents will react one way, but in reality, they act the opposite. They may be there to help her or they may punish her. Sadly, many teens write to me about their parents punishing them for self-harming and depression. No one should be punished—ever! Depression is a chemical imbalance in our brain, so it's not like we can snap our fingers to make it stop.🤦🏻‍♀️

I will list a couple of self-esteem boosters. I personally use these self-esteem tips because I don't think too highly of myself either, so I relate to her on that part. These do help to boost my mood at times, so hopefully, they help her and anyone else who is reading.

I do worry about Fizzy* a lot. She is a caring, sweet, beautiful young girl, but I know how deadly our thoughts can be. I can tell her this daily, but until she feels it herself, she won't believe anything you or I tell her.

I hope she talks to someone on a help website or helpline. She will remain completely anonymous, can end the convo with one word (in which the person on the other end has to stop texting immediately), and will hopefully get a little help at a time. 

You asked what you can do to help Fizzy*. Well, just be there for her. Be her friend, someone she can confide in. Ask her to contact you when she begins to have dark thoughts so you can help her cope with her demons. Look up tips for helping friends during a mental health crisis. Thankfully, there are so many websites available for this.

I admire how much you care about Fizzy*. It's wonderful to know she has such a great friend. While you're caring about her, don't neglect your well-being. You're very important as well. 

Please continue to keep me updated about Fizzy* and tell her I'm sending positive thoughts and love to her. As I said above, give her my email address in case she needs an extra friend to talk with. Continue being an awesome friend and person because you make a difference!

Love Always,
Boo

👆🏻Crisis Care—an app for people who need help and for those who want to help.👆🏻

👆🏻MY3— Suicide prevention app.👆🏻

👆🏻Some warning signs. Also, at the bottom are phone numbers for The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and the Crisis Text Line...I volunteered with them before, great place to text!)👆🏻

👆🏻Fact VS Fiction👆🏻

👆🏻Check on your people!👆🏻

👆🏻30 day self-esteem challenge 👆🏻

👆🏻30 journal promos to boost self love👆🏻

👆🏻 Always remember this!👆🏻

🖤Names have been changed to protect identity.
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🖤If you are having dark thoughts, suicidal thoughts, depression, anything like this, please reach out to someone. Anyone. You're worth so much and I love you!