Although my eyes drop to continue sleep , my mind pushes me to open his diary...

Love is a magic...

Yes...

I see him close to me.. I hear his voice so strong in my ears.. I sense his presence in the  ambience.. I guess  unconditionally I am addicted to him and have tasted his soul which is irresistible.. 

I want him so badly.. I want to be with him , listen to him..I want to sit next to him, breath the same air..

For the first time in my life,I behave like I am crazy...

   When two souls fall in love , there's nothing else ,  but the yearning to be close to the other is on top priority..The true love doesn't have calender or clock , nor it understands the notion of time or distance.. It only knows the right to be with one another.. 

Same happens with me now... I miss him so much though the separation is temporary..

  I miss you Shravan...

I mutter to the diary, imagining it to be my Shravan...

I run my finger over the diary with loads of love that I am going to step into his childhood.. I will get to know him even better from his childhood...

I turn the front page...

Sam... I wanted you to know me inside out...  This isn't something I have written in one day or since my  young age.. But , whenever I felt alone, whenever I needed someone to shoulder my aloofness , I continued to write as though I was sharing my thoughts with her.. 

Now ... Who's that - she ?!?!

You will get to know Sam... And , this diary  is me ... My thoughts..

I huff out loud... I can sense the seriousness of his words...

Yes...!!! I shall know him from the root...

I flip the pages...

At the first few pages , he has written his early childhood education...It is clear that he has a lovely family and his life is a bunch of roses...

Later ....

His diary pages are filled with painful words..   He has noted down how his parents were cheated by their partners and how they have become the victim of trust and credibility...

He has written how his parents were struggling to manage the financial issues...

He must have cried while writing this.. 

I run my hands on the faded tear drops that is stamped over the pages...

He was suffered a lot...!!!

Suddenly my eyes fill-up with moist...

Then....

The diary is empty...The pain and suffering he had been gone through would have numbed him to stop writing... Those empty pages resembles his empty mind...

  I fan the empty pages and stopped at a page where he has continued to write...

I begin to read ...my heart is heavy to go with the initial statement... 

He was not like the one who's now!!!

My eyes roam over the pages, intrigued what would have happened with him after that...

Shravan's diary.....

  " Shravan beta...  We know it's hard.. but , we have no other choices than sending you away from us.. hope you will understand"

I sobbed  in my mother's lap.. I knew we were undergoing a tough time financially and my parents need some time to get out of it..

I wiped the tears that coursed down my cheeks..

I shouldn't be a burden to them . ...I decided and packed my bags...

I was sent to a place which was entirely  strange to me...

The language , culture , food habits, clothing, people everything is different... I know only Divya Didi... She's going to be my saviour...

  It was the Diwali time when I went to Divya Didi ' s house..

Divya Didi loved me so much she took good care of me...

After the meal I cried in my parents thought ... Divya Didi consoled me and made me to lie down in her lap ...

She rocked the swing slowly , singing a soothing lullaby... I was half asleep...

" Divya akka...."

I woke up suddenly to the sharp voice...

There was a girl at the doorstep... She was staring at me... That was the first time I saw her..

  She was wearing a  deep violet colour floor length skirt and blouse..  The little jumkas she wore on her ear jingled with her walk... She was holding a basket in her hand...

" Akka... Amma has sent you sweets..."

   Her enthusiasm dropped in a wink to notice me with Divya Didi...

I heard akka saying about me... I didn't think much but dozed off as I was mentally worn out..

  When I woke up I inquired about the little girl...

" Shravan.. she's Suman... My angel.. be a good friend of her... She will teach you everything... '

She taught me few important words in Tamil..

  The next two days , akka spoke with me in tamil where I was familiar with  few words.. 

When the discussion about  school had come  , I asked Divya akka to join me where Suman was studying..

I believed that she would be with me.. but , I was wrong .. she hated me that I had taken her place ...

It was wrong.. I needed a friend of support... I needed someone to understand my feelings... I cried a lot on that day...

Slowly , I began to live alone... Her attitude and words hurted me a lot than my loneliness.. 

For a ten year old boy ,it was tough to be away from the parents and handling  the emotions was an uphill battle..

I trusted Suman to be my friend at first sight  and  her rejection created an aloofness and agony in me...

Soon... She understood me and my struggle...

It was a wonder how she had understood me..

Thanks to Aron... ! I was happy when she fought for me.. Then , we became friends..   To be precise,  we were besties...

   " Shravan... I am so scared..."

Suman would cry at anytime it seemed... The celebration vibes were at peak.. Her aunt and uncle were arranging the rituals to be done ...

" Suman... It's time... Come here ... Sit down..."

Suman clenched my hands and nodded negative...

" No... Athai ( aunt) ..it will hurt a lot... "

    " It's our custom  Suman.. don't be adamant..then we will miss the auspicious time... it's a matter of a second.. "

Divya akka consoled her and made her to sit down in the Pooja platform... 

   Suman had no choices left...

Weeping , she sat ... After performing few rituals , the Goldsmith pierced her nose with the nose pin...

" Aaahhhh"

Suman screeched in pain... My eyes  filled up with tears to witness her crying...

My tears would have happened with the situation ... But ,that was the moment I felt her close to my heart...

Really close to my hear !!!!

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