Today is different.

Different, as in it doesn't follow my usual routine.

Normally, when I flutter my eyes open for the first time of the day to the light streaming through my curtains in a pattern of beams, I'm relaxed and I breathe.

But not today. Today, my chest is heavy with the weight of dread and my breath is a spurt of quick and irregular breaths.

Normally, I will open my closet and dress myself in something pretty. And then, I will sit down and do my makeup. My hair. I will make sure that I'm beautiful.

But not today. Today, I pull out a t-shirt and my favorite sweatpants and pair it with my worn and basic white girl sneakers.

Normally, I will make myself a smoothie for my breakfast. I'll blend in some spinach under layers of fruit and peanut butter so that I feel awake and happy to be returning to high school.

But not today. Today, I'm the one to make a pot of coffee rather than my stepmom. I make sure the roast is dark because God knows I need the caffeine.

And normally, I'm the one to drop my baby sister off at daycare.

But not today. Because today, I didn't wake up from the sunlight illuminating in my room. I woke because of my unrelenting anxiety in the early hours of the morning. It was too early to wake my sister up.

And so today, my stepmom will have to do it before work, because I won't be there to do it.

By the time my dad wakes up before my stepmom, he'll see the note on his nightstand that I left for him. He'll know that I'm long gone and downing my caffeine somewhere in the back of the school's parking lot.

It's been two hours already. The clock on the home screen in my car reads 6:49. School doesn't start until eight.

My coffee cup sits empty and abandoned in the cupholder. I have my legs outstretched across the steering wheel while I pick at my nail beds.

Parker will be here at 7:30. He always is. He and his schedule are almost more put-together than mine.

But I guess he has every reason to be, being the golden child of his family, the son of the principle, a star athlete, the student adored by all his teachers, and the one with the "beautiful and funny girlfriend!"

The thing is, I'm tired of being a part of Parker's personality description and Instagram bio.

We'd been together all of high school and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of living in the perfect snapshot of the girl I once wanted to be. My freshman vision of the upper-class version of myself.

Parker had become a part of my life so conveniently and perfectly for my little schedule when we met. At one point, I even thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives.

But I know now that I don't want that. I don't want the life of perfection and popularity and friends that don't care about me. I don't want to live in the life of a high schooler and I don't want us.

And more than anything, I'm terrified of telling him this. Of breaking up with all I'd ever known.

I check my appearance in the rearview mirror. My eyes wear dark shades of purple and pink and my cheeks are lined with blemishes. My hair is in a messy excuse of my ponytail even though I never wear it up.

If only I had some light makeup on, I'd look almost exactly like a Y/N from one of those shitty fanfictions.

I check the time again. 6:56.

Hell, I almost want to break up with Parker over text instead. Or a phone call. I hate confrontation.

There's a knock on my window. I jolt at the sound, instinctively reaching for the pepper spray in the side pocket of my backpack on the passenger's side.

Then I recognize the face of an old friend.

Jess.

I roll the window down and the smoke from her cigarette whips against my face. I don't blink or cough like I normally would.

"The fuck are you doing here so early? Doesn't this go against your routine?" Jess asks. Her cigarette hangs between her teeth and divides her lips into a smirk.

"It does," I say with no further comment.

She pulls the lung-murderer away from her mouth, dangling it between her index and middle fingers, before casting a long look between my eyes, my hair, and what she can see from my shirt.

"Damn," Jess whispers. "You look like hell—"

She pauses as if the words taste foul on her tongue.

"No, I take that back. You look like how you looked in middle school. All you're missing are your glasses. Everything alright, darling? Everything okay at home?"

"Yes," I answer shortly. "Everything is fine at home."

She sticks the thing back between her teeth and says, "Then, enlighten me. What is it? Have you had a revelation? A self-reflection? Are you depressed or wondering if there's still a point to life with climate change?"

"No, none of the above. Not that it's any of your business, Jess, but I want to break up with Parker."

"None of my business," she slowly echoes back, then scoffs. "Right, sorry. I forgot that ship sailed when you kicked me to the curb freshman year because I didn't fit into your perfect little schedule with your perfect new friends or boyfriend. A boyfriend you no longer want."

The reminder makes my face flare with heat and I sit back against the wheel. I use the moment to study Jess's features—her dyed hair that's been every color of the rainbow but is currently a faded red with her dark roots showing, her array of freckles across the bridge of her nose that spill onto the surface of her cheeks, and her almond-shaped fingernails that match the maroon color of her lipstick.

She's wearing a Star Wars t-shirt with a black jacket, too, and it matches well with her yellow-patterned pants and black doc martens.

"Jess," I sigh. "You know that isn't what I meant."

"How am I supposed to know that, Marietta? We don't know each other anymore."

"I—"

"Save it," she cuts me off before reaching into the pocket of her coat to pull out her cigarettes. "Do you want one?"

"No."

Jess shrugs, pushing it back to where it came from, and then stomps out the one she was smoking beneath her boot.

"I just wanted to see if you're okay. But it looks like it's about to be Andrews' arrival time. And though I enjoy drama, I don't wanna be here for your special moment with him."

Jess is referring to Parker. My soon to be ex-boyfriend, Parker Andrews.

"I'm glad you have time to memorize our schedules."

She laughs. "I don't. The two of yours just happen to intervene with mine despite my best efforts to avoid it. Later, Wright."

That's me. Marietta Wright, being called my last name by the girl who was once my best friend, Jesslyn Turner, who is now walking away from me.

The clock now reads 7:29, so she's correct. Parker's car will pull up next to mine in a minute and I'll have to break the news to him.

Fuck.

When I hear his wheels crunching against the gravel, I shrink against my seat, suddenly unsure of myself with the desire to hide away at the same time.

But when Parker knocks on my window, I know that I can no longer avoid it.

I unlock the door and let him in.

Parker moves my backpack to the back seat like he always does, and then turns to me to give me our morning kiss.

But this time, he pauses once he takes a long look at me.

"Babe, are you alright? Are you sick?"

"I'm—" No longer in love with you and want to break up. No longer the girl you fell in love with. No longer anything. I'm empty.

"Maybe you should go home," Parker continues when I don't answer. "I can bring you some soup and some wellness shots after school and we can have a movie night? I'll bring blankets and fuzzy socks. Just the two of us."

Sounds perfect. Too perfect.

"No, Parker, there's actually something I wanted to tell you."

"Okay, what is it? You're scaring me."

"I—"

My god, Mari, pull yourself together and tell him.

"I am sick," I decide against myself. "I am sick, actually. Rosie is sick and I must've caught whatever she has."

Fuck. No. No. No. No. No.

"Aww." Parker frowns before moving a lock of my hair out of my face so he can kiss me on the forehead. "Poor babies. I'm sorry, that really sucks. Is your stepmom taking care of her? Or your dad?"

"Not sure. I came here."

"Well," he sighs. "You should really go home and get some sleep. I'm worried about you."

"You're right."

"Oh! There was actually something I wanted to tell you. Before you head home."

I pull my attention away from my wrists to meet his gaze. "Yeah?"

Then he tells me.

And for the first time in a long time, today is different not just because I'd planned to break up with my boyfriend and didn't follow through or because I'd spoken to Jess for the first time in years, but because I was surprised by something other than my boyfriend's unpredictable behavior.

I am surprised to learn of a new kid in this tiny shit-hole of a town and that he'll be joining our high school soon.

Luke Hemmings from Sydney, Australia.