I don't like to think of myself as a cat. I don't like to think of myself as a mouse, either. But it's the game we play, Wendy and I. And it's my favorite game. Sometimes I am the cat and sometimes I am the mouse, but always I am hers.

It's assumed since I am a spirit bound to a corporal form, mercurial by nature, that I am impervious to trivial emotions considered human. It was true, years ago when I first sprang into being –when I was new to being 'human'. I could not feel anything besides the power of Neverland that crafted my every sinew and fiber. It flowed through my veins, eviscerating anything and everything else.

That was then. In truth, I have spent so long as Peter Pan that I have become every bit as vulnerable as the Lost Boys I bring home. Perhaps I am the most lost of them all.

I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on Wendy Darling. Lured to their window by the sounds of sword fighting and bed jumping, I perched atop the Darling's balcony railing and caught my first glimpse.

She was young and I immediately felt young with her –immediately felt myself adapt to mirror her in every way. I reflected her age. I harbored emotion that I never before experienced. I became a better person.

Perhaps it was different since Wendy was a girl. The Lost Boys do not affect me the same. Sure, I change to their age and feel their rush of excitement –thrive on it, even –but the effect is not lasting. Here I am six years later and still bound to Wendy Darling, forever in her debt.

I didn't want her to go; I wanted her to stay on Neverland –to be Mother to the Lost Boys. I had hoped she'd have the same calming effect on them that she'd had on me. When she had spurned my offer thrice, I grew weary and worried.

I was losing my edge and my grasp on the Lost Boys. Wendy was weakening me. With the help of Tinker Bell I allowed her to leave, but kept her brothers. They were my security you see, my peace of mind -an insurance policy, as I knew Wendy would one day be driven back to this island to retrieve them. And she would therefore be driven back to me.

"Pan! PAN!" Her shrill voice falls on my ears. I wince. Just hearing her pleas makes me weak with remorse.

I can't resist the temptation. I'm not strong enough to repel the magnet that draws me towards her.

My bare feet touch down on the wet earth in front of the stone alcove. It's just one of many cave rooms hidden at the top of Devil Falls. The sodden ground seeps beneath my weight. Water drips from the crevices above Wendy's head.

"Wendy," I whisper from the shadows. It sounds disdainful, detached even, but I can hear the longing. Maybe because I know it's there.

"Pan!" She pants, running over to the gap in the stones. "Thank goodness."

"What is it?" I inhale, holding the breath in my lungs. Her piercing blue eyes glow in the dark, protuberant, lighting up her porcelain skin.

"I had hoped you'd let me out. I agreed, after all. I'm giving you what you want," Wendy states unwaveringly.

"What I –What I want!" I shriek.

Wendy recoils a fraction of an inch, but keeps her eyes resolutely on mine. How little she knows that she is staring into the heart of Neverland –that she is pulling all the strings of its fate with her deft hands.

I am the marionette, Wendy the puppeteer.

"You–" She pauses, searching my face. What does she see there? "You wanted this. I'm staying on the island in place of my brothers. I'm committing to you."

"You are committing to be Mother," I retort. I run a hand through my hair, catching a whiff of Wendy on the air. Floral.

My shoulder rests against the cave wall. The spongy moss yields to me. I wish it would consume me, so I could belong to it instead of to Wendy.

"As you wanted. As you commanded. As you left me no choice!" Wendy chokes through brewing tears.

"Commitment born out of obligation is not what I wanted." I don't look at her when I make this admission.

"It is. You have me." She crosses her arms, stubborn.

The words pierce my heart like some lethal dagger, the poison spreading fast.

Deep breaths.

I push off from the wall, finding my resolve, and lower my gaze to meet hers. My lips turn up and smile of their own accord. Damn. How harmless she looks when trying to be so fierce.

"I have nothing," I say, blinking to break our eye contact.

I turn around to her shouts.

"PAN! PAN!"

I shake my head and fly straight through the falls, dousing myself in water and hoping to wash away all thought. I circle high above the forest embankment. There is no sign of that simpleton of a pirate and no trace of any Lost Boys.

I cannot let the Lost Boys know that I have Wendy. To do so would admit what she means to me –what she is to me. Wendy Darling is my weakness and therefore she jeopardizes the very existence of Neverland.

Of course, Wendy could never know this.

"Pan! Please come back. Please, Peter!" Wendy's voice carries through the falls, muffled by the gushing water.

I sigh, ignoring the pangs in my heart again. How I do love when she calls me by my name.

I fly to waste my time, to waste my mind. I soar over the top cave of Devil Falls and out to Camp Black Cliff. The gray waves churn in North Sea, the snow swirling in the howling wind. I see Fox and Rabb standing guard at Skull Rock's entrance. Star Point is lifeless tonight –no bonfires and no dancing Lost Boys. I circle down to Mermaid Lagoon and rest on the crescent beach.

I saw Wendy sit in this same spot with that rogue Salt. Hook's own offspring, really? To think I ever entertained him as a worthy soul. I'm ashamed.

I was well hidden in the lagoon and they were distracted by the mermaids. I had a clear view of them and therefore of the way Wendy looked at Salt. It only reminded me of the way she will never look at me again.

The sun sets quickly tonight. I pray it is not an omen.

As I stare into the sherbet sky, the strangest sentiment burrows in my mind. If this were to be the last sunset I ever saw on Neverland, it would be a worthy one. My last day would have been spent in the company of the best soul I've ever known –I've ever felt.

A low hum reaches my ears. My eyes snap up and I see the source at once.

The neon shimmer is unmistakable –the same one that once brought me much comfort.

Tink.

With a light plop, the faery lands on the sand beside me.

"It's been some time," I say, not taking my eyes from the horizon.

"It has." Tink's singsong voice complements the orange sky.

I do feel badly about banishing her from my camp, especially now that Wendy is back. I know how much Tink aimed to please me all those years ago.

Still, I couldn't have her competing with the Dark Faery. Always undermining me.

"I bring news," Tink says.

Something about her voice makes me turn. Her eyes glow with excitement like two green stars against the sky.

"You have my undivided attention." I merely shrug.

"It's the girl –Wendy –she came to the Grove today," Tink pauses. At least she had the courtesy to grimace when saying the girl's name.

Tinker Bell alone remains the only one on this entire island to know the full scope of my feelings for Wendy. Tinker Bell, desperate to see Wendy gone, was thrilled when I told her the plan: Send Wendy back, but keep her brothers.

"And?" I ask. My interest slightly piques.

"She seeks a way to destroy you, Pan. And the faeries –they're helping. I cannot allow this," Tink says.

"Poor Tink," I laugh, shaking my head. "All the faeries in Neverland together could not destroy me. Lest you have forgotten, I am this island."

There is no possible way the faeries could kill or destroy me without also destroying themselves.

"They have a way," Tink insists. "I do not know it, but I heard the faeries whisper in the trees. They're hopeful," Tink says, her voice ashamed.

Hopeful. What a silly mundane emotion.

"Why are you telling me this now?" I question, skeptical. "I exiled you from Hangman's Tree. I've shunned you for years."

Tink's green light pulses with emotion and I recognize it as the faery equivalent of blushing.

"I had hoped –after this –you may reconsider," she pauses, turn to the side. Her translucent wings flutter in a shiver. "Take me back."

"Of course," I scoff. "Always looking for reward."

"I can help," Tink begs.

"Alright," I sigh. "If you want to help, go to the falls. Keep an eye on Wendy."

I wince.

Without another word, Tink skyrockets into the air. Her trail of shimmering green dust lingers long after she's gone from the lagoon.

I kick at the sand. It clings to the moss on my legs and the feathers at my sleeve. My body is here, but my mind is back at Devil Falls.

I'm not ready to go back yet –to face Wendy yet.

She will have escaped by the time I return. In fact, I plan on it. For today, I am the cat and I am setting the trap. My next chess piece is already in play.

Not even Wendy can outsmart the Dark Faery.

///

I arrive back at Devil Falls after nightfall. I'm pleased to find it empty.

There is no trace of Wendy or Tink. I suppose the latter is keeping a close watch. She may prove useful after all.

Retreating to the highest-most cave, I find myself feeling elated. A small crevice in the cave wall allows starlight to pass through; I can just make out the glistening basin of water below. I fly to my hammock, which hangs from the ceiling, and rest my eyes.

"Pan." The hum is low and likely inaudible to anyone but me.

My eyes dart to the doorway. I recognize my shadow instantly –I recognize the Dark Faery instantly.

I lay my head back on my arm, bored. "Well?"

"I did it. Transformed and set the girl free," the Dark Faery responds.

"Any suspicions?" I ask.

"None."

My shadow shrinks back through the doorway.

I stifle a yawn; I may be a spirit but my body still needs its rest. I roll over and peer out the cave window. There's something about windows.

I think about what's coming next –about what I have to do. I wish there was another way. I wish I had a choice.

Maybe I imagine the faintest glimmer of green pixie dust hovering over Neverwood. Maybe it's real. And if Tink is there now, nestled between the thick trees and Star Point, I smile, so is Wendy.