Thursday, June 4th, 2020

"I didn't expect to see you so soon."

I'm back in Mrs Thornbury's office, tapping my fingers against the couch. She had begun to clean out her office, removing pictures from the wall and books from her shelves. She only had three weeks to go. I wasn't sure I'd even be here to say goodbye.

"I wasn't expecting it either. I felt good after leaving last week but now...I don't know. It's different."

"What makes you say that?" she asks.

"You once said that every time I left this room, it looked as if I had a weight lifted off my shoulder by talking to you. Now I feel like there isn't any weight left to remove."

"You feel free?"

"In a way, yeah. Although the truth isn't easy, it has made me feel like maybe I can finally breathe again. I don't have to hold onto these secrets anymore. No more lying."

"I'm proud of you, Lonnie. Despite everything that has happened this week, you've still been able to find a shred of hope."

"I have to," I say.

"Not everyone can do that," she speaks.

"I guess I've just had a lot of experience with being disappointed. It makes it easier to not be so negative after a while."

"Well, I think my job here is well and truly done," she smiles solemnly. "You've been through a lot. I could say talking to me has helped you entirely but I don't think that's true. If it wasn't for you opening up to me, I think everything would be different."

"You really helped me, Mrs— Sal."

She sighs, shaking her head. "I should have done more, though. I should have stood my ground and told the school. I'm the adult here and I should have told the school that Aubrey had approached you."

"It's not your fault. I asked you not to."

"I'm sorry, Lonnie. I could have prevented all this from coming out if—"

"No," I interject. "I mean, I hate the way it was revealed but...I'm not angry. I wish— I wish I could explain everything to my friends but as I said, I feel a lot better. No more secrets."

She hmphs, sounding satisfied with my answer. "You've come a long way since our first meeting. Remember that? You completely ran out on me," she smiles.

"Yeah," I nod. "I remember."

"You're almost there, Lonnie. I see it. You're moving forward now. You're not living in the past."

I offer her a small smile as she walks me towards the door. She wraps me in a firm hug, her swollen belly bumping against my hip.

"You will get through this, Lon. Don't listen to what anyone has to say. This is your life and you will get to live it."

When I arrive home from school, my parents are sitting at the dining table. They both look up when I walk in.

"Everything alright?" I ask, sliding my backpack down my shoulder. It hits the floorboards with a soft thunk.

"Why don't you come and sit with us, Lonnie. We have something to tell you," mum says, smiling solemnly at me.

I sit down tentatively, placing my hands against my thighs. A weird tension was stirring between them, one that made my stomach churn.

"I've been offered another job," mum blurts, skipping the small talk. "It's— it's a few hours from here. Closer to the city."

"Oh," I nod, understanding where this was going.

"We're moving, Lon," dad says, filling in the obvious gaps.

"When?"

"Next week," mum breathes.

"Next week," I repeat, trying to get the words to sound right in my mouth. "That's...soon."

"We thought it would be best if we left as soon as possible," dad continues. "We've already found a house we can rent for the time being. It's small, no backyard, but it'll do for us."

They'd really planned all this out. They were going to run. Again.

Bakley was supposed to be our fresh start as a family, but now it seemed that my parents were set on running for the rest of their lives.

"What brought on this decision?" I ask. "Did something happen at work?"

They both shake their heads and I deflate further.

"We just thought it would be better if we left Bakley. People are only going to whisper from now on, Lonnie," mum says.

"Let them," I speak, my eyes focused on my parents. "Why should we keep running?"

"Lonnie," dad warns. He didn't want to have an argument with me but he could obviously feel one coming.

"Look," I say, clasping my hands on the table. "I thought that this was what I might have wanted too. But now that it's out there, I've realised something. This isn't a life. Running, pretending, hiding who we really are. Aren't you sick of it? Don't you feel at least a tiny bit better that you don't have to hide anymore?"

"London. People won't respect us when they know about Phoenix. Your mother is already worried that she may cause her firm to lose cases. I might lose clients in the area too if they realise who I am."

"But Dad, you're speaking about hypothetical situations. None of that has happened yet. Mum hasn't lost any cases and you haven't lost any clients."

"Yet," he says firmly.

"Okay, so, if it does happen, then we move. Can't we at least try first?" I plead.

"Sweetheart, why do you want to stay so badly? Aren't people giving you a hard enough time at school?"

I sigh, shaking my head. "It's an improvement from Winterville. And besides, Aubrey was suspended for what she did so I doubt she'll keep hassling me."

Mum gives me a sceptical look. To be honest, I didn't believe Aubrey would give up so easily, but I didn't want to move.

"I'm not so sure I want you to be friends with people like Kennedy, London. Her mother hurt this family by publishing that article," mum chides.

"She isn't like Laurel," I defend.

"So your friends have been speaking to you at school then?" mum asks, raising an eyebrow.

I could lie but I didn't want to. I never wanted to have to lie ever again.

"They just need time. I respect that, mum. I hurt them. Nix hurt Liam."

I'd spoken to my parents about everything the other night, including Harry and how it all went down with Aubrey. They were upset that I hadn't come to them sooner but they were there for me nonetheless, supporting me.

Mum sighs, shaking her head. Dad rests his hand on her arm and they give each this look. A look that makes me realise their decision was final.

I was leaving Bakley. I was running yet again.

"We're sorry, Lonnie, but this is the best thing for all of us. You can finish your last year at a fresh school and not have to worry about people talking about you. Your mother can start her new job and everything will work out."

Everything will work out.

I was going to be living a lie for the rest of my life. Bakley was going to be my chance to finally feel like myself again, but now, everything would be different.

People at school might have been an issue, but this was my last year. After that, I could leave behind the teenage drama. But now, it felt like it would never end.

"Okay," I whisper. "If that's your decision. I guess I'll...have to live with it."

"Thank you for understanding, Lonnie. It means—"

"No," I interrupt. "Don't confuse understanding with forced acceptance."

I push away from the table, ignoring my parents as they try to call me back. I walk off to my room, closing the door behind me.

I fall asleep, dreaming of what it would be like to have Harry holding me tight, telling me everything was going to be okay.