Monday, May 4th, 2020

"It's your birthday week!"

I jump, spinning around to face Kennedy. "You scared me," I whisper, shutting my eyes, placing a hand over my rapidly beating heart.

"Sorry," she grins, pulling me into a warm hug. "You're almost legal! Aren't you excited?"

"Yeah," I mutter, stiffly patting her back before she lets go.

I'd been on edge since the incident with Aubrey last week. She hadn't said or done anything since. Not yet, anyway.

I knew I was on borrowed time though. I knew it wouldn't be long until everything collapsed beneath me. I just wasn't sure what I could do about it.

"So, anything special planned?" she beams, clasping her hands together and resting them under her chin.

"Hmm?"

I turn back to my locker, picking out the books that I needed for next period. Kennedy leans up against the locker beside me.

"Everything okay?" she questions.

"Yeah," I nod. "Of course."

"It's just...you didn't answer any of the messages I sent you this weekend. And you completely skipped school on Friday. Plus, Harry kind of told me why you left the party last—"

"I'm fine, Ken. Really," I reassure her, shutting my locker.

She regards me apprehensively, brushing a strand of brown hair behind her ear. "If you're sure."

"I am," I lie. "Honest."

She links arms with me and we walk down towards her locker.

"So, anyway," she smiles, opening her locker, "Back to your birthday."

I groan, leaning beside her locker door. "I hate birthdays," I mumble.

"So you aren't doing anything?"

"Nope."

"Okay," she says, gathering up her books and shutting her locker door.

"Okay? That's it? You're not going to try and change my mind?"

"Nope," she says, waving at a girl in our year as we pass her.

I furrow my eyebrows, glaring at her suspiciously. "Kennedy..."

"Yes, Lonnie?" she smiles sheepishly, hugging her books against her chest.

"I hope you're not—"

"Oh, look! There's Syd!" she walks off quickly, chatting with Sydney at her locker.

I sigh, shaking my head at her retreating form. I turn on my heel, walking in the direction of my next class.

She was definitely up to something and I didn't like it one bit.

"Okay, Hall. I've had enough of your silence."

Maths had been running smoothly for the most part. However, Harry just had to go and ruin it by being the bigger person.

Screw his good nature.

"I'm sorry if I upset you at that party the other week," he sighs. "I just— I wanted to understand what was— it's not important now. I was just worried about you, that's all."

"It's okay. But you really don't need to worry."

"Can't help it," he whispers, his eyes focused on his textbook. "You're my friend."

I grip my pen tighter, ignoring his words. Besides, I shouldn't care. I wanted to just be friends. Friends. What a great word.

"Are you trying to break that pen?" he muses.

I look down at my hand, noticing how white my fingers were turning from the pressure. "Oh."

"You seem tense today," he acknowledges. "Everything—"

"Harry."

He holds up his hands. "Sorry, sorry. I promise I won't ask you again."

I nod, turning back to my equation.

"So, anyway," he clears his throat. "My parents are having this barbeque on Friday night. Did you want to come?"

"Oh. I don't— I wouldn't want to impose."

Had Harry forgotten that Friday was my birthday? Despite not wanting to celebrate this year, there's a part of me that wanted him to remember.

"Impose? Lon, everyone is gonna be there."

"Who's going?" I ask, pretending to be busy with my next math problem. I couldn't focus now, though.

"You know, the usual suspects," he smiles. "Coop, Ash, Syd and Ken. Some others guys from the footy team probably. And then it'll just be my parents, aunt and uncle."

Aunt and Uncle.

"You mean Liam's parents?" I gulp.

"Yeah. Maria and John."

"Oh," I whisper. "I don't think— I mean, my parents—"

"They can come too."

Even if my parents wanted to come, there was no way I was going to tell them they had been invited too. What if they spoke to Maria or John? What if my parents realised there was a connection between Nix and Liam?

Everything would be a disaster. They'd want to move again. I'm too selfish to let that happen right now.

"Um, they'll be working. But I'll— I'll think about it."

I'd think about it all right. I'd think about not going.

How could I stand to be in the same room as Maria and John, knowing what my brother had done to their son?

It would be impossible. I'd feel sick the entire time and just want to go home. I'd probably start crying if they even spoke to me.

"Come on, Lon," he says, reaching for my hand. "I'd like you to be there."

His face. His stupid, hopeful, gorgeous face. How could I let him down again?

"Harry..."

"You don't have to stay long. My parents would love to see you again, though."

There was no right way to deal with this situation. I didn't want to go in fear of seeing Maria and John, but I didn't want to hurt Harry by saying no either.

"Okay," I whisper, nodding. "Okay, sure."

He smiles at me and it makes everything worth it. I'd just have to do a good job at avoiding having a conversation with his aunt and uncle.

"What time does it start?"

"About 6:30. Don't bring anything either, by the way. There will be plenty of food. My dad always overdoes the number of hamburgers and sausages we need."

"Okay," I smile timidly, brushing my hair behind my shoulder.

My parents probably wouldn't mind that I wasn't spending the evening of my birthday with them anyway. In the past, they had always preferred to cook up a big breakfast. Pancakes were my mum's speciality.

Well...that's how it was before Nix died. This would be my first birthday that we had celebrated without him.

"Hey," Harry frowns. "What just happened?"

"Hmm?"

"I lost you there for a second," he smiles sadly, tapping his thumb against the side of his desk.

His hair flops into his eyes and I fight the stupid impulse to brush it away, just to be able to see his eyes again.

"Just thinking about...how hard this next question is."

Harry pulls my desk closer to his and inspects my textbook. His puzzled expression makes it even harder for me to concentrate. I can smell his cologne again. Definitely citrus.

"Oh, okay, so all you've gotta do is..."

His lips are distracting me from the actual words that he is speaking. I'd only kissed him once, but sometimes, I didn't know how it was possible that I ever stopped.

"Make sense?" he says, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"Yep. Totally."

"Good," he nods.

I don't move my desk back. Instead, I stay close to him, knowing that eventually, my luck was going to run out.

And Harry would be running in the other direction.