Saturday, April 25th, 2020

You know you're an introvert when all you want to do his stay inside on a Saturday night, doing homework.

My phone has been continuously buzzing for the past half hour. Suffice to say, I've ignored every notification.

I knew who it was, though. Kennedy was the only person to be so persistent. She wanted me to come to the party tonight and I just couldn't.

I wish I could give them, any of them, a good enough reason as to why I couldn't come tonight. But without being truthful, how could I say anything at all?

I finish off the last math equation, just as the doorbell rings. The time reads 6:31 pm on my alarm clock. Which meant—

"Shit," I mutter, jumping up from my chair and grasping for the door handle. "I'll get it, don't—"

The front door swings open just as I make it into the foyer. My heart completely drops and I squeeze my eyes shut briefly. I was in deep shit.

"Hi. Can we help you?" mum speaks, answering the door.

My heart pumps rapidly in my chest. My palms are growing sweaty.

This was it. This was the end of everything.

My parents were going to realise that I'd made really good friends. They'll know I've put them all in danger and they'll never forgive me for this.

"Mum, I can explain," I say, stepping forward, my palms outstretched. "They're only here because of some stupid school project."

Mum turns to me, her sceptical eyebrow raised. "Do you know this person?"

The door swings open fully and I stop in my tracks.

"Oh."

Standing before me is a man I've never seen in my entire life. He's middle-aged, wearing a shirt with a bright red heart placed in the centre.

"Hello there. Did you know that on average, 30,000 people die every year from heart disease? But with your help—"

"Here you go," mum produces a five-dollar note from her pocket, placing it in the heart disease money tin.

She shuts the door before the man can even respond, turning to me. "Is everything okay? You've gone a bit pale."

I shake my head, clearing my throat. "Everything's— everything's fine."

"What was that about a school project?"

"Oh. Nothing. I just thought— never mind."

She frowns at me but nods, nonetheless. "Well, dinner will be ready in ten."

She walks back into the kitchen and I breathe a sigh of relief. I brush my hand through my hair, resting my hand against my mouth.

I thought I was going to lose everything just then. I thought Kennedy was going to try and use methods of persuasion to get my parents to let me go to a party. She might have thought she was doing the best thing by me but if that happened, she'd be doing the exact opposite.

My parents would never—

Ding. Dong.

My stomach plummets. My phone begins to buzz in the pocket of my oversized hoodie. I reach for it, the screen illuminating the walls around me.

I blink twice to focus on the screen, just as the doorbell rings a second time.

You're not getting out of this. ANSWER THE DOOR! I promise I am good at persuading parents. I want you to come to this party. Plz.

Lon. Answer your door. I'm not leaving until you do.

LON.

LON. I know you're getting these. Do you realise you have read receipts turned on?

"Lonnie? Are you still there? Can you get that for me? It's probably that man again, telling me that I need to sign my name. If so, just give him that fake email address we use."

"Shit," I breathe.

My phone begins to vibrate in my hand. Kennedy's name flashes up and I instantly answer the call.

"You need to leave. Now. Like, right now."

"Oh, come on! You know how persuasive I can be! Besides, I've never met your parents and I've known you for months now."

"Yes, well, there is a very good reason—"

The doorbell rings again, cutting me off.

"Kennedy!" I whisper-shout down the phone. "Please! You aren't doing me any—"

"London! Did you not hear me?" mum's voice speaks.

She's standing right in front of me. I'd been so endorsed in my phone to even notice. I jump, sending my phone flying across the floor of the foyer.

"Who are you on the phone to?" she asks, just as she pulls the door open.

"I— uh..."

It's too late. No excuse can save me now.

"Hello there! You must be Mrs Hall."

I squeeze my eyes shut, praying that this is all just a sick dream.

"Um, yes. Hello. And you are..."

"I'm Kennedy. A friend of Lon's from school."

My mum turns back to me, abashed. "A friend of— of Lon's from school."

I step closer to the door, my eyes peeking at Kennedy over mum's shoulder as she holds the door sternly in her grasp

"Yes. Correct," Ken beams, giving me a small wave.

She's curled her hair softly, pinning them back accept for two loose twirls that have escaped her pins. She's wearing a black bodycon dress that fits her petite body perfectly and she's paired it with her airforce Nikes.

"Typical shoes," I mumble under my breath, despite the seriousness of this situation.

A long silence stretches out and I can tell that Kennedy is slightly unnerved. She's probably wondering why my mother hasn't said anything.

"So..." Kennedy clears her throat. "You're probably wondering why I'm here."

"No, Ken, don't—"

"London got invited to a party with us. And we all want her to come."

"All?" my mother squeaks.

"Yes. Me, Syd, Asher, Coops and of course, Harry."

"Harry?"

"Oh yeah, Mrs Hall. He really li—"

"Kennedy!" I glare over mum's shoulder, giving her a warning signal with my hand cutting across my throat.

"Um. We just all want her to come."

Another long silence fills the air and I start to feel agitated.

"Look, Mrs Hall, we all respect your parenting. We understand that you like to keep close tabs on London. But, honestly, you have nothing to worry about. She's a mature, responsible teenager. One day, when I have my own children, I'm going to hope they turn out just like her."

I smile sadly at Ken, her words giving me a warm feeling inside. She smiles back at me, giving me a small thumbs up.

"It's just one party. I promise that I will have her home by midnight. Safely. Safely home by midnight."

"Mum, I—"

Mum holds up her hand, her pointer finger raised to the roof to silence me. She sighs, tells Kennedy to give us a moment before shutting the door.

She turns to me, arms folded across her chest.

"Mum, look, I—"

"Enough," she whispers, holding up her palm. "That's enough."

"I'm sorry," I say, staring at my feet. "I never intended to make friends. It just sort of happened."

She sighs, brushing her hair behind her ear. She shakes her head, tears beginning to gather in the corners of her eyes.

"No, Lonnie, I'm sorry. I should have never suggested that you keep close to yourself. It was ridiculous. And impossible. The last thing I want you to feel is miserable and alone."

I don't tell her that even with friends, I still felt like that quite often. I don't tell her that it's all because of Nix either.

"I want you to go out with them," she speaks, wiping her eyes.

My whole body stops. I can't believe what I've just heard.

"Wait. Are you—"

"I want you to have some fun. I want you to know that you didn't have to hide your friends from me. I wish that I hadn't made you feel that you did. I'm so sorry for that."

"It's alright. I kind of get where you were coming from."

She shakes her head. "No. It was stupid. But I do want you to go out tonight. Really."

"What about dad?"

"He'll understand too," she nods. "We just want you both to be safe and happy at the end of the day."

"Mum, really, I don't want to go to this—"

"No," she says, placing her hands on my shoulders. "You deserve to. You deserve to have some fun with your friends for once."

"Mum, I—"

"Honestly, Lon. It shouldn't have taken Kennedy to tell me how mature and responsible you are. I know that you won't do anything stupid. I know you're being careful. I know you wouldn't tell them about— tell them anything."

How did I explain that I really shouldn't go? How did I tell her that Aubrey was going to be in the same place as me?

I couldn't. I couldn't tell her without ruining her life. We'd have to move again and I didn't want to do that to her.

"I want you to go, honey," she smiles, a delicate hand momentarily cupping my cheek.

Mum didn't act like this anymore. I knew that it had everything to do with the red wine outline coating her lips. Nix and I always used to wait for mum to get drunk before we asked her for something.

I stare at her now, silently begging her to see the truth. Begging her to realise that something isn't right here. That this party could change everything.

"I guess while we're at it, you should know I haven't been tutoring."

She waves a hand in the air. "You think I didn't know that? You're completely broke," she laughs.

"Geez. I'm glad you find it funny," I mumble.

She offers me a lazy smile, cocking her head to side with a drunken giggle. She pinches my cheek gently.

At times I forgot how young she was. Only 36 and yet she'd already dealt with the loss of a child. That isn't something a parent ever wants to deal with, no matter the circumstances.

I smile at her, knowing that this was making her happy. I didn't want to let her down. I didn't want her to be miserable over Nix for the rest of her life.

Mum opens the door again and invites Kennedy inside.

"Thank you, Mrs Hall. I knew you'd be an awesome, young, hip mother," Kennedy praises.

My mother swats the air with a sloppy hand. "Oh, pleaseee. Call me Lucy."

Kennedy smiles at me, a twinkle in her eye. She was practically bursting with excitement at the prospect of me going to this party.

Suddenly, mum does something completely unexpected. She wraps Kennedy into a hug and I stand there, wide-eyed.

"It is so lovely to meet you, Kennedy," she says.

Kennedy laughs, smiling over her shoulder at me. She's different from what I pictured, she mouths to me.

When mum pulls away, she smiles at both of us. "So, girls, who wants a margarita whilst Lonnie gets ready?"