Thus song above is something I love to listen to every night but pretend that the mom part is Jason
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Hey guys....

Now....I've seen the new update about what jason Sai with my suicide problem.

Just to let you know...my birthday pasted in April and on that day I wished I could die this year....and I thought my wish was gonna come true...but it didn't because....because I've seen the text that angel put up.

And to let you know....I actually was put in a celler for 3 years and I actually was abused by my mother....and I actually think that maybe there is a way towards living.

And for those of you reading this note I put here is gonna be a good example of how I feel everyday

You look at me and think 'she's so happy' but there's so much behind this fake smile that you'll NEVER know. Why couldn't the blood that comes out when I cut...isn't just the pain I have everyday. Head up,stay strong,fake a smile and move on! Just because I'm breathing doesn't mean I'm alive. I say 'I'm okay' 1,000 times but throughout all that...I'm still crying like a bitch. I may be smiling but just deep and closely into my eyes...and you'll see the scary truth. You call me stupid? i fake smiles everyday and you believe them. Sometimes when I say "I'm fine" I want someone to look me in the eyes and say "tell me the truth". It's amazing how much my fake smiles and long sleeves can hide. I hide my depression with a smile that people are gullible enough to believe. My mom isn't here and daddy still doesn't care. I'm sick of crying,tired of trying,yeah I'm smiling but look into my eyes,you'll see my dying truth.
I can fake smiles for as long as I need to...but when something breaks the chain...I break with it. I hide my pain behind a smile,as I would Der all the while, would they me miss me if tried? No they didn't! And they still don't cry!!! Yeah I'm smiling but look into my dull eyes...you'll see your desperate truth.

But that is how I truly feel.
God....why do some of us have depressed lives? I'LL TELL YOU WHY! IT'S BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE TEASE US ON HOW WE LOOK! THEY TEASE BECAUSE THEY LOVE THE PAIN OF SOMEONE ELSE'S TEARS!!! but they only tease because they don't have a loving family? OF COUSRE!!! THEY ONLY WANT WHAT THEY CANT HAVE!!! IT'S SO SAD!!! A CHANCE TO KINDNESS THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE!!!!

I'm sorry...I shouldn't have snapped back there. I just don't know how to control my anger and depression at the same time so it's hard