Um...hey guys.

I may not update for a bit again, I will trying to update as often as I can! But my depression is sort of taking over and so I'm dealing with some really heavy stuff right now, also the only thing that made my depression sink lower is that my...mother...called in and asked to visit me. And that really scared me but just in case...I have more depression note here for you

The one thing I could hide is my broken heart inside, it hurts a lot and I know I don't show my emotions a lot but...I hide my pain with in a smile and laughs that make me in pain even more, the only thing that makes me feel alone is that the only person that made feel like I belong can't do that anymore, I always have to know that the pain I have in life is actually scared into my heart.
It's very painful when I say "I'm used to it" meanwhile I still cry inside, I get to lost inside my mind until someone ruins it, it burns inside the shower....the thing is...you don't know what I mean.
Yeah I'm smiling...but just look into my dull eyes,you'll see how much im break down inside, if anyone else knew about my actual past...they'd already be trying to help me more often.

It sucks when I'm sad, I would get so sad to where I start my horrible habit again while staring at the wall blankly knowing no one Is here to save me, not all my scars show...not all my wounds heal...not all people know my pain...so they don't know how much I cry when im alone.

They tell me that pain is just my illusion and that I should ignore it...but it would only get worst.