*TRIGGER WARNING; BLOOD, GORE, ABUSE, MISCARRIAGE, and RAPE. Please read at own risk and there is a lotta sadness in this one, so. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!*

Katniss's P.O.V.

I wake up and my arms hunt the area I've been sleeping in for Peeta's warmth, but they find nothing but cold, hard concrete. A loud voice blaring through a speaker makes me remember where I am.

"All prisoners please report to the canteen for breakfast. I repeat, all prisoners please report to the canteen for breakfast."

A loud sigh from across the room makes me jump and I sit up fast.

"Well, good morning to you too," the high pitched voice says, and I can see it belongs to a Capitol woman, wearing a crazy lopsided wig and some strange outfit. I've never understood Capitol fashion and I don't plan to. Suddenly I get that nauseous feeling again in my stomach and run to a small bucket in the corner. I empty my stomach into it, and the lady rushes over.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" she says, rubbing my back. Tears sting my eyes as I remember that's what Peeta used to do. "I'm Effie, who are you?"

"Katniss," I croak out in response. I think I'd better get this out the way. "And, uh, I'm pregnant." Effie gasps.

"What? Then why are you in here? Surely they would've sent you to a nurse by now! It's been days!" she exclaims.

"Eh, I'm okay. I'm used to the throwing up by now." I need to change the subject. "Anyway, we should, uh, get to the canteen."

"I'll go, you wait here, sweetie, I'll go and get yours for you. I'm sure they'll let me, especially when I tell them your, er, situation." I smile at her and she scurries from the room. Then I throw up again and lay back down on the thin mat.

How did I get here? I don't remember anything after the Peacekeepers dragged me and Peeta apart in the woods. My last thought before everything went dark we're Peeta's eyes, staring into mine. But where am I? Probably the Capitol, as the voice on the speaker had the ridiculous accent just like that 'Effie' woman. She seems nice, but can I trust her? And why is she even in prison? She seems like the kind of person that would be hitting the shops 24/7 and wearing ridiculous outfits all the time. Maybe she's some kind of escort for prisoners, it seems like the sort of thing the Capitol would have in place. I wonder if she's even human, maybe some kind of robot...

No, of course she isn't. I'm getting carried away now. My stomach rumbles and I wonder how long I've been here for. Days, Effie said. I look around for a clock but find none. Great; not only do I have no idea where I am or how I got here, now I have no way of tracking time either.

"I'm back!" Effie calls, walking into the room. The prison guard slams the door shut and bolts it behind her, and the sound of grinding metal turns my stomach.

"Thank you," I say to her, taking the bowl. I don't know what it is, but it's a horrible dull yellow and lumpy. It makes my stomach churn even more and I set it down beside me; I'll probably eat it later if I feel like it. Effie sits down opposite me on a small mattress, about two or three times the height of my thin mat, and she spots me eyeing it.

"Oh! Here, do come and sit. Actually, you can have this, I'll have the mat. You need it more than me," she says, and shuffles up. I go and sit next to her.

"Thank you again," I say and lean my head against the cold grey wall. The coolness of it instantly makes me feel better. But if only Peeta were here. I know he would make me feel one hundred percent better all the time, not just temporarily.

"Are you okay, hon? You look sad," Effie says, and without warning I start to sob into my hands. She puts a steady arm around my shoulders and pulls me into her. It reminds me of my mother. I wonder if Effie has kids; I can tell underneath this crazy outfit and smudged makeup, she's a really nice lady.

"You can tell me," she says, and so I do. I tell her about Gale, Madge, Peeta, Prim, my mother. I tell her about District 12, the cabin, the lake. I even told her about Willow. By the end the sobs have run out and Effie looks on the verge of tears herself.

"Oh, you poor, poor darling. You don't deserve this! I promise I'll do all I can to make you feel better, but I'm worried about how they'll punish you." I feel the blood drain from my face. "I've said too much, I'm sorry. Anyway, let's see if we can get a nurse around here, hm?" I nod I reply and she goes over to the door and knocks on it. "Excuse me? There's a girl in here in need of a nurse! Please send help!" Effie says in a desperate voice. She looks back at me and smiles slightly. "Come quick!" Then she stamps on the ground a few times to sound like panicked footsteps and comes back to me.

"So you're definitely pregnant? Because I do hope all that wasn't for nothing," she says.

"Yeah," I reply. "A least, that's what the test said, and I've been throwing up a ton. Every morning."

"Well if that'll convince me it'll convince whatever untrained nurse they've got here! Hmph, where are they? It doesn't take that long to get here," she says.

At that moment the door opens and a man walks in. While I was not expecting that, at least he's medical help. A man monitoring a pregnancy is practically unheard of in District 12. He seems nice enough though, and we introduce ourselves.

"Hello there, I'm Effie Trinket and this is Katniss," Effie says.

"Katniss what? Sorry, they make me take all kinds of notes," the man says.

"Mellark," I say. "Katniss Mellark."

"Mmhm.." he writes something down on the clipboard. "Now what's the issue here? You both seem in good health to me. What seems to be the problem?"

He sees the bucket of sickness in the corner.

"Tummy bug?" he looks at us.

"No. I, uh, I'm pregnant," I say, and he looks me up and down.

"Are you sure? You're very young."

"Yes. I'm sure."

"Ok. Well in that case come with me please," he starts to walk out of the room and I hesitantly follow. "Not you," he says to Effie and she sits down like a kicked puppy.

"Follow me, Mrs Mellark, I just need to do an ultrasound, then you'll be escorted back to your cell. I'm Cinna, by the way." He smiles at me and I smile back. I think I can trust Cinna.

A few minutes later we have come to a room and he slides the metal door open. The lock is rusty; clearly nobody's been pregnant in prison for a while.

"Lie on the bed please," says Cinna, gesturing to a reclining chair in the middle of the room. I obey and lie down on it, rolling up my plain black top. It's the same one I was wearing when they captured me, I wonder if they give anyone new clothes. Probably not.

Only then does my attention fall on my slight bulge protruding from my belly. There's no denying it now, no matter how much I tell myself I'm not pregnant.

"You sure you're only one month?"

"Yes," I tell him.

"Ok."

"Is there something wrong?" I ask, starting to worry.

"No, no, all good. It's just you're pretty big for just one month. It's nothing to worry about, Katniss." At hearing that I am put at ease. Thank goodness; I thought there was something wrong with me.

He runs a few tests, exchanging words every now and then. Cinna and Effie are kinder than I expected of anyone from the Capitol, but I'm glad. As I'm laying on the bed, my mind wanders off to Peeta and what they have done to him. He was brought to the Capitol once because of me, if it happens again, I will never forgive myself.

"Katniss, do you want to hear the heartbeat?" Cinna says, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Oh, yes," I reply enthusiastically.

He presses indecipherable buttons and the monitor beside the bed springs to life. Then the light thud of my child's heartbeat fills the room, bringing me a smile despite the tears welling up in my eyes. I wish Peeta were here, he didn't witness the birth of Willow, I don't want that to repeat, but it is.

I see Cinna beaming at me, "It's not one child, Katniss. They're two. You're pregnant with twins."

I can't help but gasp out loud, "T-twins?" I try to keep my eyes from showing how upset I am in Peeta's absence. Cinna turns back to the screen, gesturing with the remote. I hear the sound more intently, and notice the dual sounds. It echoes in the silent room, bouncing off the walls. My heart quickens it's pace, unable to keep in the excitement.

The sounds come to a halt, "You're done," Cinna says. I nod, pulling my shirt down and climbing off the bed.

He asks me if I need help getting back to the cell, and as much as I don't want it, I am not yet familiar with this place. It may be smaller than most Capitol facilities, but there is no shortage of confusing hallways.

The marble tile and walls flash white, and there are no windows. Only white lights. It's a place devoid of colours, making me uncomfortable. I look at the prison guards as I walk past and I'm surprised to see that they are not speaking to each other. But then I notice the way their mouths are, the way their lips close differently to normal, and then I realise. These prison guards are Avoxes. Obviously they cannot speak, they're tongues are cut off.

Cinna grinds open the metal barricade on the cell door and lets me in. I nod in thanks, not wanting to say anything in case I start crying. And as soon as the door shuts and locks behind me, that's exactly what I do. Immediately Effie rushes to my side and sits me down on the mattress.

"My darling, what did the nurse say? He didn't hurt you, did he?!" she exclaims.

"No, no, I'm fine. It's just, it's twins!" I say, and tears start streaming down my face again. Effie puts her arm around my shoulders.

"Is he sure?" she asks. I nod. "Oh, sweetie, you'll be okay. And this is wonderful news!"

"How can this be 'wonderful news'?" I say as my tears begin to cease. "I'm 21, and now I'm pregnant with twins! What is there to be happy about? And also, if you didn't already notice, I'm in prison!"

"Ssh, ssh," Effie tells me. "Why don't you get some rest?"

"Fine," I answer moodily. Now she completely reminds me of my mother. Apart from the looks, of course, my mother is much planer. Effie leans against the wall on the floor and I lie down on the mattress, using the thin pillow for my head; not that it makes much difference. I start to wonder why Effie is here, and before I can stop it the question is out of my mouth.

"How come you're here?" I say. "Sorry, I didn't mean to blurt it out like that."

"No, it's no problem. I can see why you asked." I give her a small smile. "You've told me your life story, I'll just go on and tell you mine. You don't have to listen, but I think it's good to get these things off your chest, you know?"

"Yeah." I'm intrigued to know how she got here.

"Well, I'm Effie Trinket, I'm from the Capitol, and I'm 31 years old. That's the basics. Family? I'm married to a man called Haymitch, he's lovely when he's not drunk. He's got this blond hair, blue eyes..

Sorry, you won't want to hear about him."

"No," I interrupt. "Tell me about him." She smiles at me.

"Ok, but you must tell me more about this Peeta fellow when I'm done!" I smile and nod. "So, about Haymitch. To start if you'll need to know that he likes to drink. A lot." I know the type, there's plenty of them back in District 12. "But he's only drunk a few nights a week, which is much better than he used to be. But that was before Liam came back. He was the one that persuaded him to cut down on the drink, not me."

"If you don't mind me asking, why does he like to drink so much?" I can't help but ask, as I know a lot of the men back in District 12 had motives for concessive drinking.

"Oh, uh, it was when..." she clears her throat, sits up straighter, and blinks a few times. "A while ago, I think it was two years back now, I was pregnant with a little girl." I smile. "She was born with no complications or anything, and we called her Rosie."

"That's a nice name."

"I know, that's why we chose it. Anyway, when she was 3 she started to lose her appetite, which she got off her father, she could eat her body weight in food if she'd been given the opportunity to." I can't help laughing a little at that. "Then she got a fever and had bad chest pain. We called the doctor after this had happened for a bit less than a week, and he came straight away as soon as we told him the symptoms."

"Why didn't you call him straight away?"

"Well we thought it was just something she ate, or something she picked up at school, but then it kept going and she got worse."

"Oh. Right."

Effie's voice wobbles slightly as she continues, "The doctor came and she diagnosed Rosie with pneumonia. He said - he said - he said she had two days." I can see silent tears rolling down effie's face and landing on her extravagant outfit. I know that it takes experience and practice to be able to cry that quietly. "She died two days later. After that, Haymitch started to drink and I just got lost in sadness. I didn't know what to do with my life. Liam came over a couple of times to try and help but it was no use. We were in a complete state of grief."

"That's terrible, Effie, I'm so sorry. You don't have to tell me the rest."

"No. It feels good to tell someone." I get comfier on the bed and look across at the wall. I can definitely see it now, the bump on my stomach that's holding two babies. I don't know how I'll cope with this for nine months, carrying one was hard enough. Effie continues. "I don't know why, but Liam blames himself for Rosie's death, and no matter how much we told him it was nothing to do with him, he was convinced it was his fault."

"Who is Liam?" I ask.

"Oh, before Haymitch married me, his other wife passed away and he and Liam were left alone. Liam is..20? I think? Anyway, he blamed himself for her death and drank himself into a right state every night because of it. Like father, like son, I guess. They both met one night in the same pub, and in the small time frame of them being sober, talked it over. Soon after they were drunk again though and things went back to how they were. Haymitch went to the pub less though which was good. To be honest I think it's only so that he doesn't encounter Liam again. I'm almost certain he reminds her too much of Rosie.

"I'm so sorry, I'm probably boring you to death here with my sad tale. I'll get back onto why I'm here."

"No it's okay, I like hearing about you, even if it is sad."

"Back to why I'm here then. One night, Haymitch was extremely drunk, much more so than usual, and on his way home passed a baby clothes shop. He was so drunk he didn't even remember that Rosie had died. He went in there and stole a whole hoard of clothes. I ran down the street, looking for where he was, when I was stopped by some Peacekeepers and they took me to the station. There I found Haymitch. He had no idea what was going on, poor thing. There was a bunch of talking it over and then somehow, although I don't quite remember the moment, I persuaded them to let me take his sentence instead of him. It's not that rare in the Capitol, you wouldn't believe. And, well, here I am."

"Oh my gosh. So you're here for nothing?"

"Not nothing, deary, I'm here to stop my husband facing this. I know for a fact he wouldn't last a day in this place."

~

"Visiting day?" I ask, swiveling around to face Effie.

"Yes," she says like it is obvious, not looking up.

"And it's today?"

"Yes, Katniss. In about a half hour."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I implore, aghast.From what she said, today is the visiting day, which means we — the prisoners — can have people visiting us. I wonder if they're letting me meet Peeta because it will be the last time I ever do. My sentence could be death.

"I thought you knew," she shrugs.

"Well, I didn't. Haymitch and Peeta are going to be here, right?" I earn a nod. But I can see her smiling, and I know she is excited for this even though she tries to mask it. I don't blame her, inside I'm ecstatic over the thought of seeing Peeta again. I wonder if we'll be allowed to hug or kiss, or whether it will just be through a glass screen or not. I do hope I'll be able to see him in person and not be blocked by some glass. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

"All prisoners please report to the main hall for visiting day. I repeat, all prisoners please report to the main hall for visiting day," the loud voice booms out of the speakers again. Oh gosh, is this gonna happen every morning? I hope not, or I'll be deaf in a week.

Me and Effie try to make ourselves look presentable in the small mirror we are given and then a guard opens the door. The grinding metal turns my stomach again but I don't throw up this time. If I do they might not let me see Peeta. If he's allowed to come.

We walk out of the door and down the maze of corridors, led by a dark uniformed Avox. He directs us to two separate, small rooms, each with a glass screen dividing it in half. I wave goodbye to Effie and go into the room. I'm overjoyed to see Peeta sitting on the other side, and his eyes meet mine.

"Peeta!" I say, running up to the glass screen.

"Katniss! It's so good to see you!" He says, then he looks up at the little black camera in the corner. He and I both want the same thing, but i doubt this wall will go anywhere.

"So what's been happening back in District 12?" I ask him, and his face turns a bit paler.

"Katniss...there is no District 12," he says quietly.

"What? What do you mean? What happened?" I sit down on the bench that lines one side of the room, and there's a small hole where the glass goes over it. I reach my hand through the hole and he puts his on top of mine.

"The Capitol firebombed it. Gale and I managed to get most people out alive, but - too many didn't make it," he replies and he looks at the floor.

"Oh my gosh," I say. I'm on the brink of tears now. "There...isnt.. There.. Is there?"

"No. I'm so sorry." There's a minute of silence wherein I try to take in what Peeta has just said. I need to change the subject before I collapse in heap of tears. I stifle out of sob and try to keep it from turning into sobbing. I push it down and I can see Peeta giving me the look of pain we both feel. I sniffle and wipe my face.

"I, uh, went to the nurse yesterday," I say and try to get the tears out of my system and be strong.

"Is there something wrong? Are you okay?" He says, instantly worried about me and I can see him looking me up and down for signs of an illness.

"No, no, I'm not ill. Peeta, I'm pregnant again. And this time it's twins," I say quietly.

"Katniss this is wonderful news!" he says. That's exactly what Effie said. "How far along did the nurse say?"

"About four and a half months," I replied.

"Can - can I see?"

"The bump, you mean? Sure," I say, turning sideways and lifting my top up. It looks a whole lot bigger from this angle. Peeta's eyes widened.

"When did you find this out?" he says.

"Yesterday," I told him. I can't stop myself asking, "Is Prim alright? And my mother? And Gale?" He nods and I let out. A sigh of relief. Thank goodness they're okay. "And - Madge?" He gives a solemn shake of his head. I know it's wrong, but a dark part of me is glad that she's gone for good. I stop myself thinking that and concentrate on Peeta. His eyes used to have a happiness in them, a hopeful look, but now all I see is fear.

"My mother and father...they didn't make it," he says, and I see tears fall down his face. "Ava, Delly, and Willow made it. And both my brothers and their families." He looks me in the eye and gives me a sad smile. "We're gonna make it, you know. Someday, we'll be a proper family. You, me, Willow, and these two on the way. As soon as we get out of this place, I promise." The gap below the glass is just big enough for him to reach his forearm through and touch my protruding bump. Suddenly there's a movement, and I didn't make it.

"Was that a kick?" he says, and then it happens again.

"Yeah..I.. think it was," I replied, putting my own hand on the bump. Sure enough, another kick.

Peeta smooths my bump and smiles when another kick occurs. What great timing; it's as if it was planned. A warmth rushes through me at his touch, and I just want more, more, more...But I don't get it. He reaches his hand back through the gap and the voice rings out, "Next visitor, please enter. Peeta Mellark, say your goodbyes."

I put my hand up to meet his on the glass. "I love you, Katniss."

"I love you too, Peeta." Then he is escorted from the room by a Peacekeeper.

I can't help a sigh escape from my mouth. I glance over and see Effie. I can't see who she's talking to, but I assume it's Haymitch. Her body language and expressions give it away. A knock on the glass brings me back to reality. My heart stops.

"Hey Katniss,"

"Prim.. are you okay? Peeta told me that-"

"Don't worry. We are all fine. Those who made it out." She says with a sad smile.

I return the smile of sadness. I place my hand up to the glass and she puts hers up. I yearn for physical contact from the ones I love. Peeta especially. His kiss. His gentle arms holding me tight. But my sister's touch is a thing I can't describe. But I yearn for it too, now that she is face to face with me.

"Are they treating you alright? You seem a bit off. Are you?" She asks.

"I am.. We all are."

"We?"

"It's twins.."

Prim's face lights up. "That's amazing! Do you know the genders?! Oh my gosh, i have to send you gifts! This will be amazing! Willow will have two little siblings!"

I can't help but smile a little. Even though the whole situation is anything but joyus in my situation. "Yeah.. it will be."

"Oh, and speaking of Willow, look!"

Prim pulls out a small photograph. She places it up to the glass. I see her and Peeta with Willow. She looks so big now.

"She's so wonderful.." I whisper.

"She is. And I promise you'll see her soon."

I smile at her and let a few small tears escape. "Thank you, Little Duck.."

I place my forehead to the glass and I can see her do the same. I miss my little sister. I miss my whole family. Why did this have to happen to me?

"Primrose Everdeen, say your goodbyes." The guard behind her says.

We both look at each other one last time. It feels like my soul is being taken away as she leaves.

"I promise you, Katniss. Don't give up. I love you." Prim says.

Before i can respond she's gone. My little duck.

I take in a shaky breath and hide my face in my hands. I never knew what I had until it was taken from me. My family. My freedom. My care. My well being. My friends. All of them are gone...

"Hey Catnip.." I hear.

I quickly wipe my face and look up. "Hey Gale.."

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah.. yeah. Fine. just.. I miss you all."

"I'm sorry. I couldn't be as strong as you are here." he says.

I nod a little. We stay quiet for a moment.

"Katniss... If i knew... I.. I never would have.. You love him. I know that now. I see it in your whole being. And your daughter.. Can you ever forgive me for the way I treated you? You deserve him. I would never be worthy of having you back.. I'm sorry, Katniss. I truly am. And I-"

"Stop. Stop... I don't care, Gale. You're like my brother. I could never hate you. You did what we were taught. I should be sorry. I hurt you. I hurt everyone for this. And now they're gone..because of me. I'm the one who should be sorry, Gale. Who should be begging for your forgiveness. I should just rot in here and deliver these guys alone.." I say.

"Well, if nine months come and you have to have that child here, I'll break you out. You deserve your family. You deserve your family. You deserve a life, Katniss. And not with me. The ones who care about you most."

I nod and can't help but the tears fall. I see the same fall from Gale's eyes. He hardly cries. But i know he feels bad. He regrets it. He hurts. I reach my hand to his and he holds it gently.

"Hazel and them okay?" I ask and wipe my face.

"Yeah, they're fine. All of them were a bit shaken up, but I got them. Well, we got them. Peeta and I."

"Gale-"

"Say your goodbyes, Gale Hawthorne. Visiting time is over." The guard says gruffly.

"Gale don't let the starve!" I cry and squeeze his hand the best I can.

"I won't. You know that. I'll see you soon, alright Catnip?"

"Alright..." I whisper.

There is a loud bell that rings and then every inmate stands. The last of the visitors stand. Through the door I see the blonde girl with the braids, the blonde man with the curls and the brunette man with the waves. The only people who can keep my heart. The door closes with a loud bang. Then the door for us opens up. We head back to our loneliness within the walls that suffocate us.

~

The same dark uniformed Avox guard picks me up from my room and leads me back to mine and Effies's cell. But when I know we're almost there, he takes a left turn instead of right and I am confused. This is the wrong way; I'm sure of it.

"Excuse me? I think you've gone the wrong way. My cell is that way," I tell him, pointing in the opposite direction. He gestures to my baby bump and continues walking. Ah, we must be going to see Cinna then. I hoped to see him soon, as I must inform him that the babies have started kicking. As if on cue, one of the babies kicks really hard, and it makes me stop in my tracks, bending over and clutching my bump.

"Oo," I can't help but groan. How can two such small beings cause so much pain? The Avox turns and puts an arm round my shoulders whilst guiding me into a room. Then he gives me a worried look and leaves. The room is empty and silent.

"Cinna?" I call out. "Cinna, the babies are kicking really hard." No answer. Where is he? There's a chair in the middle of the room so I go and sit in it. Already my back is hurting from standing up so much. But as I make contact with that chair a huge jolt of pain rushes through me and I yelp. The door opens.

"Ah, I see you've found my electric chair," says a female voice. "Tell me, what's your name?"

"Who the hell are you?" I say. "And why am I alone in a room with an electric chair?"

"I am Clemensia, President Snow's second in command, if you like. I will be conducting the - how shall I put it - arrangements of your stay here in the Capitol."

"You still haven't told me why there's an electric chair here," I say, infuriated. I just want to sleep; carrying two babies is easier said than done.

"Well, Mrs Hawthorne, let's say that we decided that just a prison sentence wouldn't be quite enough for you. We're going to make sure that your stay here will be memorable." I scowl at her. "You have two choices," Clemensia continues. "Do you want B or E?"

"What? And how do you know my name?"

"E it is," she says, and pushes me down on the chair. Electricity pulses through me and spots appear at the edges of my vision. Everything hurts but my throat won't let me scream. Just as I'm about losing consciousness I am hauled up off the chair by Peacekeepers and made to stand on my own two feet. I clutch my bump and throw up everything in my stomach onto Clemensia's expensive dress. My mind starts panicking about the babies. Are they okay? Did the electricity that was coursing through my veins reach them? But then I feel a hard kick and I know they're okay. My head feels too heavy for my neck and suddenly my body feels too heavy for my legs; I collapse onto the floor and everything goes black.

~~~

"Katniss? Katniss! Please open your eyes!" a scared voice wakes me. I recognise it immediately as Effie's, and it takes almost everything I've got to force my eyelids open. She has tears pouring down her face and because her make up has come off, I can see she is very pale. Is she ill?

"Peeta..." I manage to croak out. I want him. I need him. But he's not here. I want him to comfort me, I know his soft touch would make me feel better. The feel of his skin against mine, my lips against his...

"Effie, is she awake?" a man's voice this time. I painfully turn my head to the side and see that it's Cinna. My first thought is to tell him about the babies kicking. I swallow and manage to say, 

"Cinna, the babies. Kicking." He smiles and nods at me.

"Yes, Katniss, they've been kicking lots when you were asleep. Do you want to sit up?" he says. I do a tiny nod of my head, as anything more would be too painful to bear right now. I wince as the babies do an especially hard kick. I moan in pain, not only from the kick but from the horrid throbbing in my head that's now begun as Effie and Cinna haul my upper body to a sitting position. My shoulders slump and my hair is in my face, but I don't care right now. All I want is sleep and to be free from this pain.

"There we go," Effie says.

"My shift is almost over," Cinna says.

"What should I do tonight? I'm pretty sure you're the only nurse this place has got," Effie says. Sometimes I must remember to ask her where she gets all her information from.

"Give her one of these every four hours, and keep her sitting up and drinking water." Effie nods.

"Does she need a pill now?"

"No, but soon." He checks his watch. "I've really got to get going, sorry. I'll see you four tomorrow." He smiles and walks out of the room. My head is pounding but when I take a sip of water it ceases slightly. Any improvement will do. The babies kick again, and I wince.

"Oh, you poor dear. Now, even if it's painful, I need you to tell me what they did to you in there," Effie tells me, rubbing my stomach the exact way that Peeta would. Oh, how I miss him.

It's not painful to talk about, so I start. I'm hoping that the pain in my head will cease some more. "There - there was a room. And a chair in the middle. I - uh - sat down because my back was hurting, but the chair was electric." Effie stares at me. "I stood up fast, and then a lady came in. Her name was...Cle...Clemensia, I think? I can't remember."

"Holy cow, an electric chair?! You're only 21, and pregnant with twins for goodness sake!" How the hell does she know how old I am? Cinna must have told her. "Well, you get some much needed sleep, I'm going to nap for a bit too."

"Night, Effie," I say. Of course my voice comes back when I don't need it.

"Night, love. Sweet dreams," she says, and turns over. A few minutes pass and I hear her soft snores. The only thing I want right now is Peeta. His touch, his lips, his everything. But for the first time in months I am deprived

After a while of tossing and turning, without being able to find a position comfortable enough, I feel myself slipping away. Soon, sleep takes over, pulling me into a world where the horrors of nightmares undoubtedly await me. But I'm soon awoken by a terrible arch of pain shooting through my abdomen. I try to ignore it, dismissing it off as yet another regular symptom of pregnancy.

Minutes pass by, but the pain doesn't cease, or even decrease. I attempt to sit up, though my body protests, sparks of agony giving away inside me with every move I make. With a gasp of atrocity, my hand finds liquid pouring out from beneath me. It's sticky and warm, and I dreadfully bring my hand up to see my fingers covered in blood.

Oh God.. No.

The cell is dark, but there is no mistaking the metallic stench of it. Effie stirs and I say her name into the darkness. "Effie?!" She stirs a little more. "Effie! Help!" I say, much louder this time, and she finally sits up and looks at me. It doesn't take her long even in the dim light of the bulb hanging from the ceiling to see what's happening.

"Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no," she says, grabbing the bucket from the corner. "Lean over this, I'll see if I can get help." I don't reply as the ache that started in my abdomen has grown to a searing pain, and I cry out. I heave myself to a standing position, and lean heavily on the wall as blood gushes from me. My stomach is cramping even more, and I bend over double, clutching my bump and willing for it to stop. For this all to stop.

Effie stops her banging on the door and comes rushing over to me. The bucket has half a centimetre of blood in it now, and I feel the worst I've ever felt, even worse than the flu when I was small. Even worse than Willow being born. Now that was painful, but this is at least twice as bad. And now there's an urge to push. But I can't. There's no way I'll let myself get rid of one of these babies. I just can't.

"Effie," I groan in pain.

"Oh you poor, poor darling! Here, lean on me," she says, and I do. It helps slightly, but not much. Now the urge to push is too great to resist, and it takes almost all my strength to push as hard as I can. I moan loudly in pain. My head throbbing violently, I look down once more at my blood soaked skirt, and then I black out again.

~

When I come to, my head is throbbing and my abdomen aches. I turn to look across the cell and see that there is blood everywhere. It's down the wall, covering the floor, and the mattress I'm sleeping on. My skirt has so much blood on it you could wring me out. I refuse to look in the bucket.

Effie is slumped against the wall, snoring loudly. I don't disturb her, she barely slept last night. I drift back off to sleep for a bit while I still can. My thoughts turn to Peeta. Where is he now? What is he doing? And how do I get a message to him saying I've lost a baby? Or was it both? I lift my top up and see my bump is still there, and when I rest my hands over it, a gentle kick lets me know that one baby is still here. I don't - I don't even want to think about the other one right now. If I have to endure that punishment again, I'll lose this one too, and if that happens I'll lose my will to live.

"Morning," Effie says with a stretch. She looks exhausted. The voice blares out of the speakers telling us it's time for breakfast. "Are you ok, dear? Has there been any more blood?"

"No more blood," I say.

I decide to get up. Some exercise, even if it's only standing in the cell, would probably do me the world of good. I swing my legs over the side and stand up. Only now do I realise how much blood I lost last night.

I hear footsteps from down the corridor, and with stiff legs I go over and peer through the small barred gap. As the face comes into view I see it's Cinna, and I'm so glad it's him.

Before I know it he's opened the cell door, and his face goes pale when he sees the blood that is everywhere.

"Oh my..." he says. "When did this happen?"

"Really not long after you left yesterday. You're the only nurse this place has, and so, we just, used the bucket for the blood and she's been blacked out since."

"We'll sit down! Strictly bed rest, especially after a miscarriage. Are you feeling okay? How's your head? If you don't mind, Effie, I'll do the checkup here. Katniss is in no fit state to trek down those corridors," he says, and Effie says she doesn't mind, so Cinna lays me down on the mattress and starts.

In my previous checkups, he's seen the downstairs areas of my body so many times it doesn't matter to me now when he removes my skirt and tosses it aside. There isn't any way I could wear that again.

When my head hits the mattress, I can't help but let the tears fall. I just lost a child, what else am I supposed to do? I can't stay strong that long; I've tried so many times to hold back tears and failed. Cinna looks at me but I cover my face with the pillow. As much as I like Cinna, I still don't want him to see me crying. Effie comes over and starts braiding my hair. She places my head on her lap and gently rubs my arm. She soothes me the way Peeta would. God.. Peeta. What have I done? He'll hate me.. I groan in pain when I feel a pressure on my stomach.

"Not everything was expelled. I'm sorry, Katniss. I'll try to make this quick." Cinna says, sounding grim.

He presses harder on my stomach. I squeeze the mattress beneath me. I feel my hand take my Effie's. I squeeze it tightly.

"It's alright, Dearie. It's almost gone." She says.

I feel more blood and what I don't want to know will pass through me. My child..

After a few minutes, Cinna says, "I'll need to take you to the nurse's office to clean you up a bit, do you think you can manage that? It's just that I don't have any supplies on me right now. And we'll need to do another ultrasound and some more checks with long names I can never remember." He is interrupted by an important guard entering the room. I know he's important because he can speak; he's not an Avox like all the others.

"Is there Mrs. Abernathy here?" he says, and I can see him trying to ignore the half naked pregnant girl on the bloody mattress. Effie gives him a little wave. "Well it's time for your trial. Follow me please." Effie stops braiding my hair and leaves the room, giving me a small smile as she leaves. I can see in her eyes that she is very happy about her trial, most likely they'll let her go free if she has enough people on her side. I smile back and the door grinds shut. Cinna grinds it open again with a huff.

"Now then," he begins. "Bit of an awkward question, but where are your knickers?"

"I - uh - don't know," I reply. It's true, I lost them at some point during the miscarriage.

"Well you wait here, and I'll go and find you something to wear," he says. "You can sit up, but don't try to stand,"

Cinna exits the cell, probably glad to be out of here. The stench of blood is definitely overwhelming. I don't even try to sit up, not finding the energy or will to do anything. The air is stale, and I might have retched if I hadn't been locked in here for so long. My whole body aches, my head the most.

Getting to Cinna's office is hard, even with his help. I can barely walk, and wheelchairs are unavailable. None of this could get any worse. After running numerous tests, he concludes that the bleeding has stopped, and while it's obvious I've lost one baby for certain, the other is very much healthy.

"Would you like to know the gender?" he asks while pressing some buttons.

I think for a moment, then say, "Yes please."

"It's a little boy!" he says, and I can't help but smile, even though I'm in so much pain. It's just my throbbing head now, those painkillers I took helped the rest.

Willow is going to have a little brother.

Peeta is going to have a son.

Prim will have a nephew.

My mother will have a grandson.

I stay quiet for the rest of the checkup, and Cinna rubs foreign substances onto my bump, whilst I sit and contemplate life as we know it. When he's done, he helps me up and we walk in silence back to my cell.

When he opens the door though, I am surprised by what I see.

"Effie? What are you doing?" I ask. Cinna taps me on the shoulder and shuts the door behind me. The grinding of metal turns my stomach again, but I swallow the bile rising in my throat. I shudder.

"Oh my darling, you'll never guess what? Well, actually you might, but still! They've set me free! I'm free to go home to Haymitch!" She exclaims, stopping packing her small bag of belongings and hugs me tight, but not too tight.

"Effie, this is wonderful news! When do you leave? Not that I want you to go, you're lovely, but you know what I mean," I say. She beams at me.

"This afternoon! Haymitch managed to persuade them. Oh, I can't wait to see him!" She says, clapping her hands. She's like a small child that's just been given sweets. Her smile is so contagious, I can't help smiling with her, even though I know this means that I will be alone in this cell for the rest of my sentence.

~~

The afternoon goes quickly, and before I know it I'm hugging Effie and telling her that I'll miss her and then the door shuts and I'm alone. I sit on the mattress and think. My thoughts turn to Peeta, as per usual. I miss him at an unrealistic level. I miss everything about him. Especially his eyes: so blue, so calming, so beautiful. And I miss Effie already too. The cell feels big and empty without her bubbliness and smiles filling it. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would be saying that about a Capitol person, but then everything in my world has been turned upside down right now, so I don't know what to expect anymore. Suddenly I hear voices from down the corridor; I'm relieved that neither of them belong to that awful Clemensia. But I don't, partly because I want to eavesdrop on these guard's conversations, and partly because I can't find the energy in me to be sick. I sit on the mattress and listen to their conversation.

"Which one is this again? Please tell me it's not a Capitol freak, even though we're supposed to love them they drive me bonkers," one says.

"Same, mate. This cell is that District 12 girl, the one that got knocked up before she came here? Clove told me that she had a miscarriage the other night," says the other. "Hey, let's look through the bars."

Straight away I see two pairs of eyes appear at the bars in the door; one pair is blue and the other is brown. I don't look at them.

"Go away," I tell them. They just laugh.

"Aw, are those hormones speaking for you? I know you really want us here, for the company," says one.

"And how might you know what I want?" I snap, already frustrated.

"Someone here is worked up, huh?" The blue-eyed boy says. I ignore them, leaving them to their snide remarks, and finding more interest in staring at my feet. They leave shortly after, having given a shot at making me mad by saying things I would have otherwise strangled them for even daring to utter.

~A few days later~

Right when I thought that this day couldn't get any worse, I hear the boys from the other day making their way towards my cell and I immediately dread their arrival. The door clicks open, surprising me. My hands instinctively cover my stomach, and I shift further backwards on my mattress. Two smirking faces and startling eyes stare at me, making me uncomfortable. They don't hesitate in stepping forward, side by side, and come at me.

"What do you want and why are you here?" I ask when I finally find my voice, sounding more confident than I feel.

"Want to let her know why we're here, Cato?" Says one.

Cato looks over at me, as if sizing me up. "Whose is that?" He questions, nodding at my oversized belly. "Dead husband? Illegally did something for fun and ended up here?"

"No," I say more tidily than I meant to. "Now go away, both of-'' but I don't finish my sentence because of an especially hard kick from the baby. Ouch, that one really hurt.

"Aw, was that a kick? From which baby? Oh wait, you lost one!," says the brown haired guard.

"Can we feel the baby kicking?" The one called Cato says, and I cower in the corner, my arms wrapped around my belly protectively. There's no way they're getting their horrible hands on me. Nope.

"Go on, let us feel," says the other.

"Bog off and leave me alone," I tell them. "Or I'll, or I'll.."

"What? You'll what? What's some pregnant girl gonna do that will scare us away?" says Cato.

"This," I say, and in a flash I kick them both in the groin. They groan and clutch their bits. I hold back laughter. "Now get out."

"We'll see you later, you knocked up pillock," one says, and they leave the cell, still wincing. Huh, my kick is harder than I thought.

Once they're gone, I do absolutely nothing. I just lay on the mattress, rubbing my ever-growing bump, and trying to remember every detail about home. Clemensia may have removed some memories, but I won't let her take them all. There's no way I'll ever let myself forget Peeta or Prim, my mother or Gale. Not the lake, or the heated nights with Peeta, or Prim's gentle voice. Not Peeta's cheese buns, or the warm hugs my mother gives, not even the creaky floorboard at the bottom of the cabin stairs. I engrave each one into my mind, metaphorically hugging them and never letting them go.

All of a sudden my thoughts are interrupted by the grinding of metal against metal, and as soon as I see it's Clemensia.

"You are to come with me," she says, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the room and down the corridor. I pretty much know the way off by heart now. "I trust that Cato and Marvel visited earlier today?"

She must be talking about those two creepy guards earlier, so I answer, "Yes." I decide to try not to give any more than one word answers if I can help it. She leads me, as expected, back to the torture room, and I can feel my heart beating hard in my chest, wondering what type of torture it will be this time. First it was the electric chair, then the blunt whip, now what?

My question is answered when Clemensia says, "Now you might not be aware of this, but the Districts have begun to rebel."

"I wonder why that could possibly be," I say sarcastically under my breath, and if she heard me she didn't say anything about it. "Peeta told me about 12."

"Yes, I thought he might've. Anyway, because of these new conditions in Panem, I have made a few changes to your punishment."

"You? Wouldn't you need Snow's permission and confirmation?" I ask curiously, although I don't like the sound of this.

"Oh, Coriolanus is busy with war things, and anyway, I'm sure he'd approve. Especially if he knew who it was for," she replies, sitting me down in an armchair. She straps my wrists to the arms and my legs to the chair legs. She has a needle and pokes it into my vien. It stings and she digs roughly. I close my eyes and wince."Perfect. Now then, focus on the screen for me." I want to jump up and bolt from the room, but I don't for two reasons. First, I know that the corridors are filled with guards outside every cell, and two, the baby's kicking so hard right now I don't think I'd be able to run anywhere. This armchair is very long, and I stretch my legs out. Clemensia purses her lips but says nothing.

Then she moved the screen so it's a metre away from me. As she goes to insert the needle into my arm, I realise what it is: tracker jacker venom.

I can feel the venom taking effect very soon, and I am hoping against hope that it won't harm the baby. If it does I - I - well I don't know what I'll do. My head feels too heavy for my neck, and the only thing keeping me from squeezing my eyes shut is the face that appears on the screen.

Peeta. For the few seconds that he is there, I take in every inch of his face, every tiny detail. But then the picture changes to Gale, and, as I would expect, I don't have nearly as many feelings for him as I do Peeta. But then, even though I'm sure the image is staying the same, it distorts in my mind to an even more handsome Gale, one with an amazing face. And then children appear. Small, brown haired girls, with Seam grey eyes and small red frocks. I have to admit, they are adorable. Then the image changes to Peeta again, and my heart beats hard in my chest. But suddenly the image is distorting Peeta that does bad things: cheating on his loving wife, sneaking out of District 12, loving another woman. And even though I know that that woman is me, I can't help thinking how bad it is of Peeta to cheat on his wife. Suddenly my head fills with everything Gale, and nothing Peeta.

First Gale catches me when I fall in the street, and then takes me home and we make a private toasting by the fire. Then we make love all night, and it skips to a few years later, where we have a little girl called Willow and she's the cutest thing ever. However much I try to not believe it, my brain keeps convincing me that it's true. That it's Gale who I ran away to the cabin with, that it's Gale who I swam naked in the lake with. That it's Gale whose arms I would fall asleep wrapped in, and that it's Gale who would make me cheese buns for every meal. I try as hard as I can to remember the tiny details of Peeta - his favourite colour, his favourite food, the way he falls asleep - but I can't. I only have a vague memory of him: a blond, blue eyed baker who cheated on his wife for another girl.

Then the image turns black and I'm left alone on the sofa with my thoughts. I want to contemplate this and what it's doing to me for a lot longer, but the baby is kicking tremendously hard, and I try to think of a way to calm it down. Maybe singing? It's worth a try.

Smoothing my bump, I begin:

"Deep in the meadow,

Under the willow.

A bed of grass,

A soft green pillow.

Lay down your head,

And close your sleepy eyes;

And when again they open the sun will rise." The baby calms down slightly but I carry on.

"Here it's safe,

Here it's warm;

Here the daisies guard you from every harm.

Here your dreams are sweet,

And tomorrow brings them true.

Here is the place where I love you." The baby has calmed right down now, and although there is still another verse, I don't have the energy to sing that now. My head hurts too much.

"You have a beautiful voice, you know that?" says a male voice from behind me. I turn and see that it's that guard; Cato.

"You," I say through gritted teeth. "Where's Clemensia? I thought she was in charge of my treatment."

"Yeah, well she's got other business to attend to. She left me in charge," he says, leaning on the wall with his hands behind his head, so his biceps flex. I divert my eyes away and stare at my bump; I hate that a prison guard is flirting with me. How disgusting. He walks over and sits beside me. I shuffle over to the other end of the sofa, I'm not getting anywhere near that thing.

He leans his back against the hard board of the sofa, his lips curled in a manner he thinks is seductive. Disgusted, my eyes trail away and fix on the wall, but Cato demands attention. His hand creeps up to me, his movements are languid as he grabs my face.

"Get your hands off of me," I say through gritted teeth. To my chagrin, he only tightens his grip, and I bring my own hand up to cast away his. I can't move properly, my oversized body forbids me, and so does his cornering. My attempts to push him away are futile, and he holds steady.

Cato's mouth nears mine, and I'm hopelessly clawing at him to stop. I can feel his breath on my skin, the rough warmth of his hand, his cold blue eyes staring. Before he can do anything else, the door swings open on its weakening hinges, slamming against the wall.

"Cato!" This is the first time I feel glad about Clemensia's arrival, and Cato immediately recedes. Feeble words attempt to escape me but fail. "You have fulfilled your purpose here, Cato. Thank you, but you can leave now." Her tone is aghast yet stern as she orders Cato out. The boy's muscles tighten, the vein in his neck prominent, and he leaves through the door, sparing me one last glance.

"You just wait right here, Miss Everdeen. The fun has only just begun." She says.

She walks past me stepping on my foot. My eyes wander the room confused as to what she means. What is next for me.

Two Peacekeepers come into the room and pick me up by my arms. They place me on a wall and suddenly I'm stuck there. My arms spread to the side and my legs parted so I made an X with my body. Then there is a lock over my mouth so my speech becomes halted altogether.

A doctor walks in and the lights in the once dim room turn up, "Won't this be interesting class? I want you to pay very close attention now. This is a very expensive, and RARE procedure"

I begin to shake when I hear this, what will they do? They can't hurt my child. "Now, to begin we'll start with the right side on the Arch Foot Artery." He pulls out a scalpel and begins to cut my foot. I want to scream in fear but my voice is nonexistent. I have no control over any part of my body.

"We moved up to the Dorsalis Pedis Artery right about here." He says, it looks like he simply draws along my body with a red marker. "You see right there?" He asks, opening my wound wider, "It's clear which means it's healthy."

"Now we move up to the Anterior Tibial Artery before we hit the major artery of the leg, the Femoral Artery" My leg burns as blood oozes out of it onto the floor. I have donated my body to science even though I am still alive.

My muffled cries subdue as time passes and I somehow do not faint from all the blood loss.

He cuts my veins on my left side, leaving the arteries cut up on the right to make a clear pathway of blood. Up and down my legs and arms he draws along my body with his scalpel. I am a human map of the body. I can feel my tears mix with blood when he cuts my facial arteries. When my hair gets in the way he cuts it off so to better show my cut open arteries and veins.

He doesn't cut my neck because that would kill me.

I don't think there is any way to describe this intense burning pain. I am still stuck to the wall crying bloody tears, I can feel sweat mixing with blood. I can feel the infections of uncleaned wounds crawl through my blood system as the doctor closes the lesson.

These doctors treat the Capitol soldiers. I am a training dummy for these sick people. They smile and find themselves interested in every cut in my body. These people will save the men and women who are killing, or trying to kill my friends and family. I can now understand that I have just given them basic tools to do so.

They leave me alone and Clemensia enters the room. "Hello Miss Everdeen." She laughs, "You've been sheared of your fur I see. No more flame for. You have no wings Mockingjay. So my dear all you will ever be is this. An innocent Little Lamb. Used by Snow, to train his doctors. Good work, now they shall save thousands of lives... Capitol lives. Isn't it wonderful?" She gets so close to my face I can feel her hot breath entering my wounds making them pulsate with excruciating heat and pain.

What a cruel sick woman. I stare at her trying to seem angry, but my face will not contort for I still have no control over it. "Aw, poor thing," She laughs, "Guards!" She shouts and two enter the room, "Take her to solitary,"

They take my body off the wall and I fall to the floor in a heaping pile of blood and anguish. I cannot physically scream as of now. So instead I cry, I cry until I can't cry anymore.

~

The Avoxes gently get me out of the bed. They change me into a lace white dress instead of the normal tattered blood stained one and into leather cuffs instead of copper. They get me up and take me outside of my room. Peacekeepers come and get me.

"What is this?" I ask.

"Leather doesn't scar." One says simply, "We were told not to hurt you... Yet" He grins with pleasure.

The second jostles me down the hallway, "Now shut up we don't want to ruin the fun."

"The-"

"Shut up!"

I comply only because I'm their prisoner and they can do whatever they want to me.

We stand there waiting in a hallway for the longest time. I stare at my feet and contemplate what must be behind that door. I wonder what he'll do to me.

I'm afraid but not so afraid I'm paralyzed when I'm finally pushed into the room.

I'm shoved into a boxed area of the room and pushed to the ground.

"This," Clemensia gestures to me, "Is your Mockingjay. Your precious hope." I notice the camera crew filming him and following him with the camera.

"You can take those things off, she's not going anywhere." she snickers at me. The guards take off my leather bands.

"You think you're so pure? So innocent?"

"You stole all of that. I have nothing left of innocence to give you!" I snarl.

"That is where you're dead wrong "Mockingjay". That is where you are dead wrong."

Suddenly my hands and legs stick to the walls spreading my legs apart. "What?" I mutter.

"For you see there is but one ounce of innocence left in you." She crouches to my eye level. "And I plan to have it ripped out of you." She moves aside and I see Cato smirking at me.

Before I know what's happening his up lips have locked with mine. I scream behind my lips and clenched teeth. I scream and feel my shoulders pinned to the wall behind me like my hands and legs.

He pulls back and slaps me. "Shut up!" He whispers I gasp in fear and disgust. He pulls my jaw to face him and the camera, "I want to enjoy this," I feel him inch his hand up my right thigh as he presses his lips to mine again.

I muffle cries and pleads as my lace skirt falls to my hips. He bites my lower lip and strokes my thigh.

This can't be happening to me can it? I can feel my stomach tying in knots. I fear for my child's safety within me. But for how much longer?

I close my eyes tightly and feel his lips travel down my jaw and to my neck. I presume he's taking off his pants when his hand leaves my thigh.

Once his lips return to mine, his hand gropes my breast with a raging hunger I have never known. I'm more than afraid, I'm petrified. It hurts more with the sensitivity of them with pregnancy.

His hands travel from fondling my breasts to holding the small of my back.

I can feel him nearing me and my skin crawls in anxiety.

His lips lock with mine again. Tears stream down my cheeks, trailing my jaw and falling on to my collarbone.

He pushes into me and it takes all of those restraints to hold me back. I scream behind his lips, I scream for help though my voice does not exist in the air as I had hoped. I'm praying that if there is a god he'll end this now.

It hurts, as he moves inside me I can feel the skin rip. I know the science of this, from school courses and my mother's healing of girls coming in to be treated after such an event. How when a woman is being raped she tenses up to keep the foreign object out of her. How the muscles are so tight they tear.

I can feel him take away all I have. He moves and moans in pleasure. I rasp cries of pain while he sighs in satisfaction.

It's not long before his lips smash into mine, before he goes rougher pushing further into me. Before he's gasping for breath craving more of me.

My bated breath comes from my fear and the agonizing torture of these occurrences. He roughly grabs my breasts again, squeezing and clawing at them. I lay incapacitated, exposed, and raw to him. I feel blood and semen sticking to my legs the more he pushes into me. A part of me accepts that my child may be dead now.

His tongue maneuvers in-between my teeth. In his vulgarity he rips my dress and for a second between thrusts, looks down at my chest.

He holds my bare breasts in his hands as he resumes pushing into me.

I feel myself tighten and tear while he continues his destruction of me. I feel only pain in his pleasure.

As his ragged breath intensifies I can feel him bite my tender new skin. He nibbles on my jaw and ear lobes. This is supposed to bring pleasure but only makes me cry. I can almost feel the skin bruise on contact with his teeth.

He is sweating, his skin boils against mine. In his last thrust I can feel him come.

It's over. My breasts are sore and tender, surely to bruise like the rest of me. My skin feels raw and torn, just like my pride and dignity.

He pulls out of me and smirks.." No longer quite so innocent are we?"

He pulls his pants on so I can now open my eyes. I see a pool of blood around me. I'm still bleeding heavily too.

The wall releases me of my confinement. I take my arms and curl into a ball. I lean against the wall and cry. I don't care that I can feel the blood ooze around my feet, I don't care that I can feel the throbbing pain of forced fornication. I need to have strong, sure, arms to surround me in confort, and I am the only one who can offer this.

"Are the rebels really telling me that THIS is their hope? This is their symbol? Well I guess that explains that." She laughs at me, and then her hateful breath is in my ear, "Show them your face." She seethes with anger.

I hide away from her. I hear a snap of fingers and then I hesitantly look.

Cato rips my head from my hold and smashes it into the wall. "Show. Them. What. The. Face. Of. The. Rebellion. Looks. Like!" With each word I get my face smashed into the wall.

So much blood pours down my face I cannot see. I feel like I'm looking at a camera but I can't be sure.

Clemensia laughs again, "Your face of the rebellion? Her flame has died out." Cato throws me back to the ground.

She's right, my flame has died. I'm broken and I cannot lie to myself any longer. I cannot hide the simple fact that I have nothing left. I have been torn open and exposed for all the world to see. These sick people have broadcasted me losing myself to someone who isn't my lover, and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I am and probably always will be broken.

Cato grabs me by my neck and throws me across the room. "She is nothing now." I would grip the ground if blood loss were not hindering my stability.

"Stand up!" He demands. "Up!"

I weakly get on my knees and push up on to wobbly arms. My head spins so violently I use all my remaining energy to vomit. Blood is all that comes up.

Though as weak as I am I stand up, on vibrating legs and unsure feet, I stand to face my enemy.

"There isn't anything left you can do but rot at the hand of the Capitol. I'll make sure its slow and painful,"

He slaps me so hard, I fall to the ground and inevitably into unconsciousness. My last thoughts before succumbing to the darkness are consumed by the realization of my body being violated.

I have nothing left to give. So what will they take next?