He raised his brows at me. "What do you mean, Victoria?"

I took a deep breath. "I think that...that maybe we should give us a go."

He dropped his hands from my face and gaped at me. "Us? As in you wanna start dating me?"

I nodded.

Joy flickered in his eyes for a moment but then it morphed into doubt.

"No. We can't. You said it yourself the last time when I asked you out, heck we even started fighting after that day."

He had a point, but the only reason I didn't say yes then was because I was scared of losing what we had but now I've realised that we can never go back to normal, not since that incident. It's like everything just changed since then.

"I know, but I still ended up losing you so my attempt to keep what we had failed miserably." I said with a humourless chuckle.

"Victoria, I want nothing more in this world than to be with you, but it's not the same for you." He said softly and held my hand. "You've loved Nate since you were 15 and feelings like that just don't fade away. How are you going to be with me when you love another?"

I bit my lip. Nate. I did love him two years ago which was a long time, things have changed. I just cared for him; I cared for him a lot.

"That's what you're telling yourself, Victoria, but the truth is that you still love him; you've never stopped. Now that he's back those old feelings are coming out again and you're too scared to face them." Ashley's words from last night circled in my head.

I mentally groaned and ran a hand through my hair. I looked at Gerald, he looked disheartened, probably because I was taking forever say something and he thought that I was going to change my mind; but I wasn't.

"I never said my feelings for Nate have faded away because I don't know that properly myself. What I do know is that I fell in love with Nate in the past; the past which I never wanna revisit. You're my present and so are my feelings for you." I told him.

He looked at me and then cupped my cheek. "Victoria, are you sure you wanna do this?"

I smiled assuringly at him. "If I weren't sure I wouldn't have said any of it."

He stared at me with a small grin and placed a quick kiss on my lips.

"So does that make you my girlfriend now?" He smirked.

I laughed. "Yes that makes me your girlfriend."

"Victoria Aldaine is my girlfriend..." He said, testing the sound of that. "Has a good ring to it, don't you think?"

I grinned. "Hmm, I think Gerald Iver is my boyfriend has a better ring to it."

I went closer to him and placed my lips onto his.

I just hope I made the right decision...

****

After I finished my first half of the day's classes it was time for lunch.

Today was Monday and I was unfortunately back at this hell hole. Ugh, I can't wait for Christmas break.

"Hey babe." Gerald said and kissed me, stopping me from making my way to my usual table.

"I thought I told you no nicknames." I warned and pointed my index finger at him after we broke apart.

"But I enjoy giving you nicknames." He pouted.

"Too bad."

Just as we started walked again I noticed how everyone was staring at us. Caroline looked at me with a hateful look, Ashley was staring at me with her jaw wide open and the rest of the school looked shocked; but the one look that affected me the most was Nate's. He looked hurt and angry. Oh no.

When he noticed I was looking his expression changed and turned blank. He then got off his seat and walked away.

"I'll be back." I told Gerald and ran after Nate.

He was walking at a very fast pace making it hard for me to catch up. I sprinted down the deserted hallway and eventually reached behind his back. I grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

"Damn you walk fast." I said breathlessly and took deep breaths to try and steady my breathing.

"Not my fault that you're unfit." He said with a smirk but I could see that it didn't reach his eyes and that he was forcing it.

"Why'd you walk away?" I asked him after my breathing became steady and I was no longer breathless.

"Is it a crime to walk out the cafeteria?" He raised his brows in question.

I shot him a glare and he let out a sigh of defeat.

"You know why I walked out." He said and dropped his gaze to the floor.

Guilt filled me up when he said those words. Even though his tone was nonchalant and he didn't show any emotion, I still knew that I'd hurt him.

"Why'd you kiss him?" He asked softly and looked up at me.

I didn't know how to tell him that we were dating. It'll just hurt him and I wouldn't stand to see him hurt.

I took a nervous breath. I can't hide it from him, because when he actually does find out it'll hurt him even worse.

"Yester-yesterday I..." I trailed off. I can't tell him, I just can't.

His brown eyes stared at me, making it even harder to tell the truth, but I knew I had to.

"We're dating now." I told him, firmer than I expected but not firm enough.

"You're dating him? You're actually fucking dating him?" He exclaimed.

I just nodded in response.

He ran his hand through his hair, making it messy.

"Were you dating him on your birthday?" He asked, looking me dead straight in the eye.

"No, we only started dating yesterday Nate." I told him, feeling under pressure from his gaze fixed on me.

Hurt flickered in his eyes but then it disappeared as soon as it appeared. I felt a pang in my chest when I seen the hurt in his eyes.

He grinned down at me. "Glad you found your Prince Charming then." And with that he walked away.

My Prince Charming...the one who was supposed to kiss me at midnight. He kissed me at midnight, Nate kissed me at midnight.

As I watched his retreating figure I leaned on the wall. My mind kept on replaying what happened with Nate, the way he grinned at me as if everything was okay but I could see that the smile didn't reach his brown eyes. His brown eyes... The hurt that flickered in his eyes, I caused that, I did.

I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I don't know why I wanted to cry but I just did.

I sunk to the ground and felt tears fall down my cheeks. Why the fuck am I crying?!

Maybe it's because I can't stand to see Nate hurt. Would it affect me that bad to cry?

I buried my head in my hands and let out few sobs. God, I hated this. I could never fully be happy because someone always got hurt in the end, always.

"Victoria, I'm sorry that I just wal-" I heard Nate's voice say.

I snapped my neck up and seen him looking at me with concern.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked gently and bent down on the floor so he was level with me.

I quickly dried my eyes and tried my best to stop a sob from escaping my mouth but I failed.

I shook my head at him, not wanting to tell him that I started crying because of him being hurt.

His gently expression hardened with anger. "Did Gerald hurt you?"

"No, of course not. He hasn't even seen me since I followed you here."

"Then what's wrong, sunshine?" He asked and placed his hand on my cheek, but he pulled it away not long after with hurt filing up his eyes.

I felt my heart wrench at that and more tears streamed down.

He moved from his position opposite me and sat on the floor next to me.

He placed both his hands on my cheeks and this time instead of moving it he wiped my tears.

"Victoria, tell me what's wrong or I'm going to lose my mind." He said with a soft chuckle.

I let out a breath. "Honestly, I think I'm mostly crying because of dumb hormones making me emotional."

He gave me a 'stop kidding me' look, meaning he didn't believe me, but hey it possibly was partially true since it was 'that time of the month'.

"I don't know, I think I just started crying because I could see that I hurt you. Lame I know." I said softly, my crying slowing down.

"Victoria you didn't hurt me. I was hurt, yes, but only because I couldn't have you, not because of you." He whispered. "But seeing you happy is all that's important to me, not my happiness, not Gerald's but yours."

By now I had fully stopped crying. I looked in his eyes and I could see that he fully meant his words.

I leaned my face in his hands, enjoying the warmth and the little tingly feeling I felt from his touch and that's when the thought crossed my mind that maybe I'd made the wrong decision and Ashley was right; maybe Nate was the one.

"I'm sorry I made you cry." He said, breaking me out of my reverie.

I chuckled lightly. "It's okay."

He stared at me and gently stroked his thumbs on my cheeks, giving me goosebumps.

"Remember what I said on your birthday?" He said, breaking the comforting silence between us. He moved his hands from my face and placed it on my hand which was resting on my thigh.

"I probably do, but I don't know what exactly you're referring to." I answered.

"I was talking about when I said that no matter what you choose I'd still love you and now that you've made your choice, I just want you to know that I really still love you; I don't think I ever will stop loving you." His voice was filled with love and every second I spent here with him was making me doubt my decision to be with Gerald.

I didn't know what to say so I just leaned my head against his chest, even though I knew spending time with him the way I currently was is wrong, since I was with Gerald, I couldn't stop myself.

****

Today was exactly a month since Gerald and I started dating. We've been happy, him more than me. I was still doubting my decision but I always brushed it off.

Nate as been very distant and edgy towards me and Ashley says it's probably because he's hurting which made me feel even worse about this whole situation.

After a good Christmas and New Years break we returned back to school.

Today I was going to spend my Saturday evening with a surprise visit to Ashley, just to have a little girl time

I turned my ignition off and headed to her front door. Her house was big, but not as big as mine. It was very beautiful and a lot more homely than mine.

I rang her doorbell and not long after the door opened.

"Hello Mrs. Culpo." I greeted the chubby blonde woman in front of me who was Ashley's mother.

She smiled politely at me. "Hello Victoria, it's been a while." She opened the door wider and gestured for me to get in.

I smiled back at her.

"Ashley is upstairs in her room with another one of her friends." She told me.

"Thank you." I told her politely and made my way upstairs.

I walked down the familiar passage and pushed open her door which was slightly agape.

I found Ashley and Jessie having an intense make out session. I cleared my throat and they instantly tore apart and snapped their necks towards me so fast that I'm surprised they didn't get whiplash.

"Victoria," Ashley said with her hand on her chest, breathless. "I thought you were my mom, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Calm down, it's just me." I rolled my eyes.

"Hey Victoria." Jessie greeted casually although I could see the little tinges of red on his cheeks singling embarrassment.

"Hey lovebird number one." I joked which he chuckled to in response.

I walked in her room and plopped down onto the bed. Ashley and Jessie were sitting on the couch.

"Well at least Jessie and I know that we've made the right choice." Ashley said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes. Ever since I told her about Gerald and I she's been passing remarks about how I've made the wrong choice by choosing Gerald instead of Nate.

"You're still angry at her?" Jessie raised his brows at Ashley.

She sighed. "No, I'm not, just annoyed at her stupid decisions."

I waved my hand in the air. "She'll get over it."

"No she won't." Ashley said with a glare.

I chuckled at her. I knew her well enough to know that she was just acting.

After a little chatter Ashley decided that the 3 of us could watch a movie.

"I'm going to go and make some popcorn. I'll be back soon." She said and walked off out the room.

"So Victoria, I've been wanting to talk to you." Jessie said a little awkwardly.

What did he wanna talk about? I hope everything is alright with Ashley.

"Go on." I gestured for him to continue.

"Well it's about Nate."

Nate? What was wrong with him?

"What's wrong with Nate? Is he alright? Is there something he's not telling me?" I ranted in one breath.

"Whoa calm down," he said which earned him an impatient look from me. "But you were right, there is something he's not telling you..."

"What?!" I asked irritably. God, could he just stop being so vague.

"His dad is back with him."

His dad? Is back? Oh crap no! That poor excuse of a human being is back? Maybe that's why Nate was so edgy and distant these past few days.

"So I'm pretty sure you've noticed his behaviour these days and seen that he's been on edge," so I was right. "I was hoping that you could drop by his place and maybe get him to talk a little, that should make him feel better."

Nate's dad was the worst human being I'd ever seen, when Nate was a boy he used to physically abuse him and the last time I've met him he almost killed his own son.

"For how long is he back?" I asked Jesse.

"From the first week of the year."

Poor Nate, I hope he's not going through the same like the last time.

"Please cover for me with Ash." I said, grabbed my jacket and hopped off the bed.

"Wait, I didn't mean for you to go now." He said looking a little alarmed. Probably because he knew Ashley would kill him for letting me leave.

"I know, but I wanna go now." I said and proceeded to the door.

"Ashley is going to kill us." He exclaimed.

"Just make up a valid excuse." I told him and walked out the room.

I ran down the stairs, out the door and into my car. The sun was setting, golden rays of sunshine was shining in my eyes. 

Nate's house wasn't that far from Ashley so I reached in about 15 minutes.

After passing through the guard at the front I parked my car in the driveway, walked to his front door and rang the doorbell.

How long does he take to open the door?
I thought and tapped my foot impatiently.

I rang the doorbell again and impatiently waited.

I was just about to ring it again until the door opened.

"Iliana, can't you be mo-" he stopped midway when he seen it was me and not his sister.

He was wearing a pair of jeans along with no shirt snd his hair was slightly messy. He looked hot.

"Uhh, why aren't you wearing a shirt?" I asked him awkwardly, still standing in the doorway.

He shrugged casually in reply.

I raised a brow. "You don't know why you're not wearing a shirt?"

He sighed and leaned on the doorframe, which was just a few centimetres taller than him. "Victoria I don't mean to sound rude, but what are you doing here?"

"Can't I come to say hi?"

"It's just not you to randomly come to say hi." He said and crossed his arms across his chest restricting me from looking at his extremely sexy abs. Wait what? Sexy abs? God, what am I thinking.

"Fine I'll leave then." I told him but didn't move.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Just come in."

He moved to the side giving me space to walk in, but not that much space making my shoulder brush against his chest since I was shorter than him.

Thankfully I had my jacket on so my skin never touch his bare skin.

"No one is at home so I guess you can follow me upstairs to my room, I need to put a shirt on."

Aww no, I was enjoying the view. I thought bitterly.

After following him upstairs and into his room he put a shirt on and gestured for me to sit down.

I sat on the edge of his bed while he sat next to me.

"So what's on your mind?" He asked casually.

"Well, I heard your dad's back." I said and noticed how he tensed up.

"Is that what you came for?" He asked stiffly.

I nodded.

"Well if you want to talk about my feelings and shit, it's not going to happen." He said angrily.

Oh no, I had a feeling something like this was going to happen.

I examined his features which was filled with anger. I grabbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze. His stiff posture eased a little after I held his hand.

"Nate, I'm concerned about you, I hate seeing you in pain. Remember last time at school what happened?" I asked him referring to the time i started crying when I seen him hurt.

He chuckled lightly. "You started crying."

I nodded. "Exactly. So unless you want to see me cry again I suggest you speak up."

He held my hand back and took a deep breath. "Well he's been pretty much only fighting with me."

I frowned. "Why only you?"

"He wants his gun back."

My eyes widened when I realised he still had that damn gun. I swear I'm going to punch him for keeping it.

"Did you give it back?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "Of course not."

"You need to give it to your granddad, Nate. I don't feel good about you having it."

"Yeah I will."

I didn't believe his words, so I lifted his face to level mine and looked at him in the eye. "Promise?"

He stared at me and then finally answered softly. "I promise sunshine."

"Good. I don't want you getting hurt." I said and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him.

He wrapped his arms around my back and chuckled. "If I do are you going to cry again?"

I moved my arms from his neck and hit him on his arm. "It's not funny, you jerk."

He laughed. "Okay I'm sorry. No need to be violent."

That was the first time I'd seen him properly laugh in a month. He was always so broody and grumpy in the past month.Honestly, seeing him laugh like that filled me up with genuine happiness.

I hadn't realised I was staring until now so I cleared my throat and looked away.

"I should get going now then." I said, let go of his hand and got off the bed.

He grabbed my wrist and stood up from the bed. "Don't leave yet." He whispered and stared at me intensely. His eyes looking almost...desperate.

I smiled. "Okay I'll stay if you want me to."

He cupped my cheek and looked down at me how he always did; with love and affection.

"I've missed you like crazy." He said softly.

"You've seen me everyday."

"Yeah but you're always with Gerald, I never got to spend time with you with just the two of us."

"It's just the two of us now." I whispered.

"I know." He said and bent down so his face was mere inches away from mine.

I draped my arms around his neck and stood on tiptoes so my face was even closer to his; so close that his breath was fanning my face and mine his.

I looked at his eyes and then closed my own and pressed my lips to his.

He instantly kissed me back and moved his hand from my cheek and draped it around my waist, pulling me closer, so close that my body was pressed tightly against his.

His kiss turned from soft and gentle to hard and full of need; passionate.

I moved my hands from his neck and tangled it in his hair, making it messier.

We both didn't want to pull apart but due to the fact that we were both human and had to breathe, we both pulled apart.

My heart was beating erratically and my skin was tingling all over. This kiss was different from the one on my birthday, it was full of need and passion.

He sat down on the bed and pulled me down on top of him making me straddle him.

I ran my fingers through his already messy hair and looked at him. He looked gorgeous as ever and irresistible.

He crashed his lips on mine again, this time with more passion. He slipped his hands under my shirt and circled my hipbones, shooting electric sparks through my whole body.

He moved his mouth from mine, letting me catch my breath, and kissed my jawline down to my neck.

I moaned as he found my sweet spot on my neck.

I reached the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, revealing his flawless, sexy abs.

He smirked down at me as I ran my fingers over his abs and V lines.

"Always knew you loved my sexy, abs." He said smugly with a smirk.

"Not my fault they're irresistible." I winked and kissed him, needing to taste him again.

My mind was fuzzy, it was like everything else was just a blank and Nate only mattered; I needed him.

He took me off his lap and placed me flatly on the bed, then he climbed on top of me and lifted my shirt off as well as pulling my jeans down, leaving me in just my black and red underwear.

He placed gentle kisses all the way from my belly button up to my neck. My body was on fire all over, my heart was erratic and so was my breathing.

He kissed me on my lips again and I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer to me with a burning need to feel his body on mine.

I unzipped his pants and was about to pull it down until he stopped me.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" He asked me seriously.

Even though we dated back then we'd never had sex, mainly because we both weren't ready and really young, but now I was ready to do it with him.

"Yeah I'm sure." I told him with a assuring smile.

"I love you, Victoria." He whispered and threw his pants off and onto the floor.

****

I laid next to him, curled up in his warm arms. The sheets were covering our naked bodies while we laid next to each other, trying to catch our breath from what just happened.

We were both sweaty and a mess from what happened, his hair a mess from my fingers being in them and I'm sure my hair was just as messy.

He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. I smiled and closed my eyes, my head against his chest.

"That was amazing, definitely the best I've ever had." He breathed.

"The best you've had? Who else did you do it with?" I questioned him.

I always knew that in those two years he must've had sex with other girls but I couldn't help but feel jealous to think that he's been with other girls.

"Just one night stands that meant nothing to me, unlike you, sunshine." He said softly, making my jealousy disappear and my heart skip a beat.

I made myself comfortable and wrapped my arms around his torso. I closed my eyes and felt myself get sleepier and sleepier.

"You're comfortable or do you want to put your head on the pillow? It's softer." He asked me.

"No, I'm fine with you being my human teddy bear." I told him sleepily and I heard him chuckle.

Even though Nate's chest was hard he was still comfy for me and I loved the feeling of him and not the stupid pillow.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Nate." I said, my voice barely audible.

"I love you, sunshine." I heard him say and kiss my head.

For the first time since Nate returned I wanted to say it back but I fell asleep making me say it in my mind instead.

I love you too Nate.

______

Hope you guys enjoyed this one, I know I enjoyed writing it! ;)

Lots of love,
Me! :) 💖