wide awake

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Alina scrubbed another dish, letting the soapy water rinse away the remnants of food from this evening's dinner. Tonight, it had been meatloaf with baked macaroni and cheese, a dish lovingly prepared by Dolores in honour of Alina's arrival. She'd spent hours moving around the house, chopping up ingredients and mixing them together and ensuring that everything cooked to just the right temperature. When she'd arrived back at the Burton household, Alina had offered to help, but Dolores had insisted that she would take care of it. Alina, fresh from Reefer Rick's boathouse, had been too exhausted to argue—everything Eddie had just told her had zapped all of her energy. So, instead of standing beside Dolores and helping her trembling hands shape the meatloaf together, she instead played with Nicole in the living room, brought a glass of water to George, and headed to Gabe's room to attempt to calm down.

It didn't feel like she'd learned about Chrissy's murder this morning. It didn't feel like she'd tried to call everyone she cared about to make sure they were okay this morning, either. Today, the hours had stretched out, some of them so long that they felt like days. Surely, it was an eternity ago that her flight landed in Indianapolis. Surely, it had been an infinity since Nicole had launched herself into her arms as a greeting.

She hadn't seen Lucas at all today. It was wrong, just like everything else was—twisted, contorted, upside down. She needed him. She needed her boyfriend to wrap her up in his arms and tell her everything would be all right, even if that couldn't be further from the truth. She needed to feel the sturdiness of his hand within hers and finally let herself breathe.

She didn't have any of that. Instead, she was drowning in her own mind, unwanted memories springing up.

Every single time this happened, Alina always thought, well, at least it's over, now. When El had vanquished the Demogorgon and disappeared in a clump of ash. When she'd woken up in the hospital in a sheen of sweat, the Mind Flayer's corpse expelled from her desperate lungs. When she'd watched Starcourt Mall burn.

But of course, she was wrong. Of course, there was always going to be something else—because when did Alina ever get a break? It was her that brought trouble no matter where she went. It was her that had lost so much. Why shouldn't she lose some more?

Even when dinner had finally arrived, Alina had been unable to keep up with Dolores's idle chatter. George had actually joined them tonight—sickly, frail, and looking as if he was two seconds away from slumping back onto the table—but he'd only taken two bites of his meatloaf before proclaiming that he was full. Dolores had appeared disappointed, but unsurprised, and helped him hobble back to his bedroom. When she returned, she attempted to keep a smile on her face, but it was obviously strained. Alina couldn't return it. She couldn't stop thinking about what she'd just learned.

And now, after everything was over, she was thinking about it some more.

Vecna. This wasn't an enemy Alina had fought before. It wasn't some big, dark shadow that could seize power over another by crawling into its crevices. It wasn't a creature larger than any man with a roar that opened its mouth like a deadly flower. No, it—whatever it was—was something else entirely. And that terrified Alina, perhaps more than hearing about the Mind Flayer's return ever had.

She set down the plate she'd just finished and picked up another dish, scraping away the chunks of macaroni that hadn't quite made it to the Tupperware container Dolores had meant to store it in. Short, light breaths escaped her. She'd volunteered to do the dishes both to help her host out and to take her mind off of the revelations of today, but it hadn't worked. Eddie's description—"Her bones started to snap. Her eyes, man. It... it was like there was something, like, inside her head, pulling."—played on repeat, filtering out everything else.

What a horrible way to die.

The worst part was that she couldn't even talk to anyone about it until tomorrow. No one in the Burton household had any inkling of the true nature of Hawkins' tragedies, and she wasn't about to be the person to change that. Ignorance truly was bliss, in this case.

Which meant that she just had to keep her mouth shut and try not to boil up inside.

"Ally?"

The sudden, unexpected voice nearly caused the baking dish to slip out of Alina's hands. She jumped, then turned around, her eyes dipping until they fell right onto the chubby-cheeked face of Nicole Burton.

God, that girl was good at sneaking.

Alina shut off the faucet, dried off her hands, and made her way over to her half-sister. "What are you still doing up, little munchkin?" she asked. Bedtime had been twenty minutes ago. Nicole should have been sound asleep by now, her dreams light and carefree. The exact opposite of what was happening again.

"Don't wanna sleep," Nicole said.

"Why not?" Alina asked. Internally, though, she sympathized. She doubted she'd be getting much shuteye tonight, either. This would definitely be a prime time for the Mind Flayer to worm its way back into her nightmares.

Nicole crossed her arms and stomped her foot. "Because!"

"Well, that's not a very good answer, is it?" Alina scooped the little girl into her arms. She was wearing the same baby blue pajamas she'd had on this morning. "Come on. Sleep is fun. Why do you want to stay awake?"

"Because," Nicole said again. "I don't wanna sleep."

Alina almost snorted. "Well, you have me there."

"I can stay awake," she insisted. "With you."

Of course, just as she said that, a yawn split across her face.

"Hmm. You know I'm about to go to bed too, right, sweetie?"

Nicole's mouth dropped open, an expression of utmost shock crossing her face. "Really?"

"Yeah. So, if we go together, will that make you feel better?"

Alina thought she had her there. But Nicole shook her head again. "No."

God. Toddlers. They could never just be happy, could they?

"What would make you feel better?" she asked.

Nicole wriggled in Alina's arms. "Story."

Alina paused. "What?"

"Tell me a story!"

Oh. "Didn't your Granny already tell you one?"

Her face scrunched up. "Yeah."

A sigh was just about to escape Alina's lips—she loved Nicole to death, and she truly was happy to see her again, but adjusting her schedule to fit her needs was exhausting—when she realized that this might prove to be the distraction that she desperately needed. So, with the little girl still in her arms, she began carrying her off to her bedroom. "All right. But you have to promise to go to sleep right afterwards, okay?"

A beam stretched across Nicole's face. "Okay!"

Well, that was that problem solved. Alina deposited her half-sister into her bed and pulled the covers up, nice and snug. Nicole shifted a little, attempting to get comfortable. Her stuffed rabbit was safely tucked under one arm. Its glassy eyes watched Alina as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"What kind of story do you want to hear, sweetheart?" Alina asked, stroking Nicole's hair. It was hard to believe the sweet little cherub—though she wasn't sweet all the time—could be Linda's spawn. Then again, she supposed the same thing could be said about her. "Pirates?"

Nicole shook her head. "I wanna Gabe story!"

Immediately, Alina's brow crinkled. "A Gabe story?"

"Gabe had the bestest stories. He told me about... about the Muh... Mind... Mind Flyer."

Immediately, Alina's eyes flew open, the breath leaving her chest. Even though Nicole had given the creature an inaccurate title, it was obvious what she was talking about. The Mind Flayer. Gabe told her about that?

Then again, Nicole wasn't even three years old yet. There was no risk to telling her the truth—she'd likely forget them by the time she was old enough to start school, and, even if she remembered, she'd think of them as nothing but make-believe. Still, Alina wondered at this decision of Gabe's. She'd have thought he'd try to keep the stories of the Upside Down as far away from his family as possible—even if the ones he'd tell Nicole would be a family-friendly version.

Alina pursed her lips and pressed a kiss to Nicole's cheek. Well, if she wanted a 'Gabe Story', Alina had no shortage. She'd just have to ensure that she watered it down a lot. Enough to ensure that her half-sister wouldn't be having nightmares.

"Okay," she said. "I'll tell you a Gabe story. Has he ever told you about he and I met?"

Nicole grinned. "Yeah! I love that one!"

"Okay," Alina said again. "Well, it all started on an ordinary day in the November of 1983. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and I'd just decided to go for a run..."

It turned out that Alina had been right about last night's assumption that she'd be unable to sleep. Instead, she lay awake for the entire night, eyes open, gaze locked on the ceiling. She imagined what Eddie must have seen—a girl, lifting up into the air, her eyes completely blank. Her bones, one by one, contorting, snapping, and her eyes being yanked into her skull until there was nothing left but bloodied sockets. It wasn't exactly pleasant to imagine. No wonder he'd run.

Vecna. Vecna. Vecna. Who was this new villain? What did it want? Why was it emerging now, and how? Why had it targeted Chrissy Cunningham, out of all people?

Around and around, her mind went, without ever coming to an end. Then, eventually, the sun began to rise, haloing the sky in a brilliant orange. It beamed through Gabe's window, even with the curtains shut, and forced Alina out of bed.

She took a shower, wrapping up her hair carefully after the fact. While waiting for it to dry, she pulled on the first clothes she grabbed from her suitcase, which turned out to be a green shirt she'd stolen from Jonathan (just another bonus of having an older brother) and jeans. Then, just to be helpful to a still-sleeping Dolores, she cleaned the kitchen, the living room, and both bathrooms. She put on a pot of coffee. She sat outside and breathed in the early-morning Hawkins air, marveling at how crisp it was when compared to Lenora Hills.

Steve called a little while later, asking if he could pick her up. Alina agreed, but told him to wait an hour—she wanted to help Dolores out a little more. Even if it was necessary, she hated leaving Gabe's grandmother behind. One of the main points of her staying here was to be another set of hands.

So, when Dolores awoke, she helped her fry potatoes for breakfast, encouraged Nicole to eat, and checked on George. He was still sleeping—apparently, last night had really worn him out. Dolores told her not to expect much from him today.

Before Alina knew it, Steve had arrived. He wasn't alone, either—Dustin, Robin, and Max were all cluttered in his car, shopping bags in hand. Apparently, while Alina had been attempting to airplane Nicole's breakfast into her mouth, they'd gone on a supply run for Eddie, who needed more than the little food he had to survive the boathouse. Also, they'd tapped into the Hawkins Police Department Dispatch.

It had been a very productive morning for them.

Alina leaned her head against the window as Steve took them back to Reefer Rick's. Still no Lucas. Either he'd completely forgotten about her—which seemed unlikely, based on what his father had told her—or something was holding him up. She could only hope that it wasn't bad.

The car rumbled over the slightly uneven driveway of Reefer Rick's house. Alina slid out of the car, carrying one of the many grocery bags—her friends seemed to have gone a little overboard, providing countless boxes of cereal, cans of beans, chips, and, at Max's insistence, a toothbrush and toothpaste—down to the boathouse. It was slightly windy today, and the lake's waves lapped at the shore. It would have been soothing if not for the mess Alina had gotten into.

Again.

God.

Yet again, Steve led the way down to the boathouse. Alina kept her head down as she walked, ending up a little behind. Her heart thudded in her chest.

"Hey." Robin, noticing how much she'd slowed, stopped beside her. Setting a comforting hand on Alina's shoulder, she asked, "Are you okay?"

Alina swallowed. Her throat was dry as a desert. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Because, uh, you look kind of... dead. Inside. You know."

Alina looked up at her friend. Robin was a new member of the group, and yet, she fit in just as well as everyone else did. Somehow, this former ice-cream slinger hadn't decided to run away when she'd discovered everything about monsters and other worlds and girls with superpowers. She'd decided to stay behind, just like the rest of the party, and that made her braver than most.

She'd written Alina a few times, back in California. Alina had actually started their communication—last summer, she'd learned that Robin was gay, and decided to reach out when she was beginning to realize her own less-than-heterosexual feelings. But, though their conversations had at first been about how Alina could come to terms with her bisexuality, they soon turned to other subjects. Robin really liked Star Wars, just like Alina did. Robin was a cat person, just like Alina. Robin hated high school almost as much as Alina did.

Somehow, she became something like an older sister to Alina—which, considering how many siblings she now had, was almost something to laugh about. Still, Alina fully embraced it. Before she'd started hanging out with the party, she'd been an only child. Now, with Will, Jonathan, El, Nicole, and now Nancy and Robin, her family was very quickly growing. It was really nice, actually.

Alina swallowed again. "I just... um. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Oh," Robin said. "Well, I get that."

"Yeah. It was—it was hard to. I just... I couldn't stop thinking about Chrissy. You know, about what Eddie told us. It must have been... God. It must have been awful."

Robin squeezed her shoulder. "Yeah, I know. And it's... it's weird, too. I mean, I never really talked to Chrissy, but I saw her around, like, all the time. She was in a few of my classes. So, hearing how she died... I don't know. It's messed up."

"Yeah. And I'm—I'm scared. At least with the Mind Flayer, we kind of understood what was happening. But this... this Vecna creature? We don't know anything. I can't stop wondering why it would target Chrissy. It's just—it's fucked up."

"I know." Robin pulled her into a hug. Alina accepted it gratefully, wrapping her arms around the older girl. "I know. But we're going to be okay, all right? We're going to be okay."

Alina sniffled and looked up at her. "How do you know?"

Robin winked at her. "Because we're us," she said. "Because we can get through anything."

Alina sighed. She could only hope that Robin was right.

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