The fighting is done and nobody's won / So now we're just laying here with steaming empty guns
And half of my heart has always been yours / So now I'm just laying here in pieces on the floor

Jungkook was certain that gloom somehow had a daily route through his city, making his home the first stop every day. Because every day he'd wake up to the same sombre ambience outside, dim lights from street lamps against blankets of cloud, a relentless thrashing of rain against the roof of his apartment, quiet whimpers from the neighbour's dog as he leaned against the wall they shared.

It was a Sunday, so he didn't need to heave his tired self into work clothes and to the station until the next day. But because it was a Sunday, he hadn't any idea what to fill his time up with.

Usually, these types of days consisted of him burying himself in the couch, an episode of some new drama playing in the background as he watched the trees dance through the window. But today he'd chosen the bed instead.

Lying on his side, he stared at the bleak wall in front of him, stained with regret, sorrow, desolation. The cycle was always the same. He'd wake up, he'd shuffle in his bed, he'd deliberate over all the poor choices he'd made in his life. The same self-destruction every day.

Just then, he felt a vibration through his pillow and slid his fingers under it, pulling his phone out.

Hoseok Hyung.

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, "Hyung."

"Sleepyhead," the light voice on the other end said, "What are you up to?"

"You should know the answer to that," he replied, "You?"

"Pulling up to your apartment complex, my love," he sang the last part, "See you soon!"

Eyes flickered to his nightstand, where his digital clock flashed a bright 16:27. Had he wallowed in the thin sheets of his bed all day?

Jungkook groaned into the phone, "Hyung, you know I love you, but I'm not in the mood for-"

"Yeah, yeah," he waved him off, "You better open the door for me, Jungkook."

"Hyung," he continued to whine but was met with radio silence. He'd hung up.

And it wasn't even five minutes later that Jungkook heard the loud knock at his front door. Rolling over, he threw the blanket off of him, running a hand over his face.

He knew he was grateful his friend had come all the way here to get him out of his bed. He just didn't want to show it.

"I can't believe you'd do this to me," was the first thing he said as he opened the door, met with a smiling face holding up two plastic bags of takeout.

"You can't believe it?" Hoseok asked the younger, stepping into his home and taking his shoes off, "Us extroverted friends have got to keep an eye out for you introverts, c'mon."

"Sure," with a roll of his eyes, Jungkook found himself starting to grin, "So what's in the bags?"

"The usual," setting them down on his kitchen counter, he pulled out some card boxes, "chicken and beer. Heaven."

"How did you know that I'd actually need this?" Jungkook grinned finally, and the pair could have sworn the clouds outside cleared for the slightest second before darkness enveloped them again. He wouldn't admit it, but he was really grateful.

"So the truth is," Hoseok had started once the both of them had set themselves down on Jungkook's couch, the eldest's legs draped over the other's lap, "I went out to get flowers for Celeste, and I decided to drop by since you're right next door."

The younger boy's smile widened when he heard this. He loved listening to his brothers go on about their partners. It reminded him that true love did exist. It reminded him that people could still find their souls reflected in another and be able to hold onto them for the rest of their lives.

"I'm offended," he teased, biting into a piece of chicken, "You could have at least pretended that you came over to see me."

"Would you have believed me?"

"You're right," Jungkook flicked open his beer can then, quickly brought it to his lips to catch the foam.

"I've missed you though, buddy," Hoseok's eyes fell from the window to his friend, holding out his own can for them to clink together, "I've missed you so much."

Meeting his eyes, Jungkook felt a lurch in his stomach. The innocent brown eyes his hyung always held was now replaced with nostalgia, with misery, with sadness. Hoseok didn't do sadness.

Guilt then climbed into his own chest, knowing that he was the reason behind all this.

Because when Hoseok said that, Jungkook knew he didn't mean it in the way a friend would say I miss you after a lack of contact for a few weeks. He'd seen Jungkook almost every weekend. He'd played basketball with Jungkook, sang with him in empty parking lots in the middle of the night, and drank until neither one of them could remember their own names.

Hoseok missed the old Jungkook.

It had been a few years since he'd seen you. He'd finally gotten over the wave of emotions he'd feel when he thought about you, about the smell of saltwater from the perfume you wore and the peppermint gum you'd always be chewing on.

But along with that came the exposure of his own scars. Of the fixing up he had to do, wounds that were there way before you'd come along.

"I'm right here, hyung," he tried to crack a smile, unsuccessfully, drinking out of his can, "I'll always be here."

They both knew that wasn't what he meant. But those unspoken words would just stay that way. Unspoken.

☁︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

Jungkook shoved his hands into his pockets as he pushed open the diner door with his shoulder, back still aching from work that day.

A forty-eight-hour shift was nothing new to the fireman. Honestly, though, it was the part of his week that Jungkook would look forward to the most. It was the part of the week where he'd move the most, he'd talk the most, he'd laugh the most. He was himself the most.

So, despite the pain that came along with the job, despite the traumatic issues he'd been called out to face several times a day, he never let his focus drift away from his work.

"Jungkook!" he winced as he heard his name being called, the loud cry stark in comparison to the screeching and screaming he'd heard during that day at work.

"Hyung," he smiled weakly as he slid into the booth already occupied by his six friends.

"Geez, you're freezing," Jimin said from his right, taking his hands into his own as he blew warm air into them, "How was work?"

He didn't want to lift his head, he didn't want to meet anyone's eyes then. For he knew they'd be full of pity, of worry, of despair.

"Fine," he mumbled, wriggling out of his friend's grasp and reaching for the menu, "Have you guys ordered?"

"We did," Seokjin said this time, across from him.

"And we ordered your regular burger. Did you want to change your order?" He looked up to see Yoongi eyeing the menu in his hands, clearly confused as to why he was looking through it.

"No," he sighed, folding it and placing it down, "Sorry, guys, work's really taken it all out of me today."

"That's okay, Jungkook," Namjoon grinned from beside Seokjin, reaching over and ruffling the younger's hair, "Thank you for coming anyway."

"Always," he was able to send them a genuine smile now. "How are you guys?"

"I'm okay," Taehyung answered, "Lonely at home."

"Alex still isn't home?" said Hoseok, and Taehyung shook his head, "I'm sorry man. You know you can stay over at mine for the time being, hmm?"

"I know," he groaned in response, "I just-"

"Miss him, we know, we know," Jimin rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around his best friend and pulling him close. "He'll be back soon, Tae. I'm sure he wishes work would let him leave as soon as he could."

And he wasn't lying, Jungkook thought. Taehyung and Alex were another one of the couples that taught him that love wasn't just an illusion. The boyfriends loved each other so much that Jungkook was sure he'd only learnt the true meaning of that emotion because of them.

"Yeah," the other sighed, eyes brightening as he watched something behind Jungkook's shoulder.

He turned to see the waiter walk up with a couple of trays of fast food. His own stomach growled at the sight. Finally.

☁︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

hey guys! thank you for reading this chapter!! i hope you liked it 🥰

it will only get more angsty from here - but i hope you enjoy!

have a great day/night my loves! 💛💛💛