RUSSEL HENDRICKS

What is going with me? Anytime I saw him interact with others, male or female, my blood will boil up. I think by transferring him in my company, I could monitor him closely. But now, being close only make me feel more uncomfortable.

The man, although he is wearing an indifferent face, still able to smile if he encountered a trusted type. In these two weeks, I tried my best to avoid him. I stayed at different houses and filling my schedule with ridiculous matters.

In the end, I still need him. I need to touch his heart ensuring it still beating in normal ways. Eric is interesting friend. He respects people pace and didn't being pushy even if I keep him in the dark. I knew he wanted to ask me many things but restraining himself from did it.

One more thing, his tolerable side also higher than anyone I had met. His angry mode and sulking also short. The day when we have eaten at the waterfall restaurant, a shocked wave hit me when he called me as a hubby. Eric, could he have a feeling for me?

Damn, this is a dangerous. I don't know until when I can continue this facade afraid the heart will give up if one day we really split up. Although, I won't let him go but who know the fate arrangement in the future. One day, Eric will try to find the person who loves him wholeheartedly.

During the break hour, I changed my schedule to eat at the company café. Mainly, to find where Eric eat. I found his small group. Gladly, he had chosen the correct people among his faked colleagues. Don't think I didn't know what is going on within the company. Everything basically in my hand, which can be trusted or not. But I can't take the action because some of them backed up by upper echelons.

As long as they knew the boundary then I won't need to carry out the punishment. Eric seem in his little world, although I saw he spoke or laughed with his group. The man dislikes talking about gossip. I use the piece of paper on the table, writing down an instruction on it.

I want to take him out for dinner tonight. My maid and her husband only back by next week. When the elevator in maintaining mode, I quickly stepped into the same elevator as Eric. Using the squishing situation in it, I slipped the paper to Eric.

I know he wanted to appear calm and don't want anyone to learn about us. I actually quite respect with his attitude. Although he married a rich man, he wanted to stay low profile. The rarity quite touching a part of my heart.

Waiting the office hour over is another form of torturing. Actually, today I was not as busy as people expected. I only had two meetings and a short briefing with managers and head of department. Carmen also annoying as a parasite in my eyes. The woman thinks it is easy to conquer me. She really dumb when can't take the annoyed hint I dropped everything she came close.

When the clock hit six, I immediately grabbed my blazer and leaving the Carmen who speaking nonstop. I pressed the lift to the basement floor. In five minutes, I spotted Eric coming down while his eyes still wandering around. A trace of anxiety appeared in his face when he entered the car and lock the seatbelt.

"If people see us the bad rumour will spread." He grunted while eyes still warily studied outside.

"I don't care... they can spread it worldwide because one thing I do clear, we are not committing any crime. And, I just with my husband." I really don't care if someone spotted or using us as a gossip topic. Eric is my husband and I have a very right to treat him as like.

"I don't want to be put under the limelight." He murmured after a moment of silence.

"One day you need to go through it too." I

"One day cannot guarantee anything." The word stabbed my heart badly as if he had planned to get rid this married once the debt settled.

"Whatever." Losing the topic to talk, we just decided to stay quiet. I parked the car at the curb near the famous Chinese Cuisine Restaurant.

The excitement appeared in Eric eyes as we walked to the booked table. He is exciting flipped the menu pages and I clearly see a hungry beast in his eyes. I also flipped a few pages and place the order. He also places his own order and grinned like a fool.

Around fifteen minutes, the dishes served one by one on the table and the total enough to eat by four people.

He cocked his eyebrow as if reading my mind right now. To my surprise, he'd finished all the food although taking a slow pace. He used the napkin to wipe off his lips and sipping the warm green tea. The drink taste like a piss but he still drink it casually.

I glad that he mood going better. One thing I like about him as a companion when he didn't act like master who own me. Not acting like some bullshit fake police officer interrogated for a reason why I was distancing myself a couple weeks ago. He simply don't care, I think.

With a full stomach, he slowly drift into the sleep as we drive back. I keep checking from the mirror. The calm and peaceful face still has some trace of innocent and childish. My hand lightly brushes his light hair.

He is perfect for you, right?

A familiar face appeared in the mirror, with charming smile and gentle voice drift in my ears. The voice and face caused me to press the break in sudden.

"What is going on?" Eric wake from his light naps. His eyes roam around the dark road with a slight frown.

"An animal crossed the road." I lie to him when the previous image disappeared from the mirror.

"Sorry, I fell asleep." He did a light stretch.

"It's okay." I say.

"Hmm, are you busy this weekend?" He asked me.

"Not sure." He looks hesitant for a bit before going silent.

My weekend not as a busy as a people think. I did flying around the world but it only occupied my mind from thinking about the past. We arrived at home with Eric still in the shock. I glad he didn't sleep in the studio tonight.

He did some of his work and then joined me on the bed. When I heard his breathing becoming even, I put my hand on above his heart, feeling the calm beating. Sensing it could soothe me from an earlier image. No matter what, this man only my beloved heart host body. My eyes gradually close as I feel the heartbeat. Gladly, Eric is a heavy sleeper.

The next morning after a little fight because transportation issue, we managed to arrive at the office earlier than my subordinate did. Eric slammed the door car hard with an angry glare. Somewhat his childish acted enough to make me smile this morning.

"Are you not afraid walking alone? You know at this hour what creature so active and eagerly..." A hand cover my mouth immediately.

"What the hell with your mouth? Damn, I should take the train than this bastard 's car." His eyes roaming around with fear in it.

I dropped the briefcase causing the loud thumping echoed when it touched the floor. Eric spontaneous hugs me for dear life with tightly close eyes. His body slightly shaking under fear. I contain my laughed to avoid getting a free slap as a breakfast.

"Oops, sorry my bad." I bend my body to take the briefcase again. Eric humph as if read my deliberately action.

"Can you accompany me until my floor?" Well, the kitten only can swallow his resentful alone.

"But do you dare being there alone? I think the people in there only entered the office when the clock hit 09:00 a.m." I smirked when detect his fear again. One day I would take him into the haunted house. Interesting!

"Damn, argh forget it. Better go somewhere else first." The elevator open but he is turning to another side. Maybe to wait at the nearest convenience store or restaurant. I grabbed him into another lift and press 15th floor button.

"Where we are going?" He faced me.

"My office and we can go breakfast later." I said. When the lift open, I lead him into my office. His eyes widened but disappointed later.

I switch on the laptop, letting the email entering the inbox. As a worldwide company, the email kept coming for twenty hours. I'd through every email and delete the unimportant messages. Once the sorting is done, I locked the laptop and bring my grumpy husband for breakfast.

I pressed the rooftop floor and as he kept silent. Maybe tired entertaining with my attitude this early morning. His eyes widened when spotted the rooftop restaurant. As a new staff, I think he was too busy with the tasks and have not a time to venture around.

The waiter open the door with slightly frown. Usually, I only came here for business related like entertained my guest or alone. So, no wonder the waiter finds it out of the ordinary.

"Give me a cup of premium Espresso and France toast." I ordered the breakfast.

"I want a cup of cappuccino and a Set A breakfast." He closed the menu.

"It's not good taking the bitterest caffeine in empty stomach." Eric glance at me.

"One can't cut off the old habit in a second." I casually replied him.

"Typical answer." He turned to another side. The outside gradually brightened by the morning first ray.

"Beautiful." He murmured in a low voice.

"Certainly." I agree with him.

We enjoyed the breakfast with the light topic. Mostly about him during the new tasks. He looks so free when facing the food. That is why I always used the foods to lure him out from sulking or angry realm. We waste the time there until the clock show fifteen minute before nine.

Eric suggests us to take a different lift to our different destination. When his lift close, I didn't take another lift yet but walking to closer railing, watching the ground crowded with transportation like an ant colony. I lost count how many times I have an idea to jump over this railing in sadness.

"Who he is?" Clark, the café owner asked me with half lit cigarette.

"My worker..."

"Interesting! A mighty worker who successful break the cold emperor, making him look a little gentle." He chuckled.

"Did he is available? If yes, don't forget to introduce us later." Clark was blabbering nonsense.

"In your dream..." I leaned against the railing, facing the fox wearing a human skin.

"For someone cute like him, I never mind to dream for my whole life."

"Tsk." I left him alone as his laugher reverberated around the space.

"Hey, stinky boss bring him again. I would give 100 percent discount for any menu you order." I rolled my eyes and pressing my floor button.

I reverted to my usual demeanour. The floor is quite than normal staff working space. Here only consist higher executives and their secretaries. The secretary also has their own office. I spotted Carmen putting a thick make up. This woman never knows the meant by giving up, although I treated her as nonexistence. What irritated me the most, she had a courage to meet my family through relative connection.

Grandfather gave an open approval when his grandchildren back to norm path. He was the biggest obstacle when I introduced Nate to the family. They were prejudiced and throwing all the bad words. We were obviously having been kicked from the families.

But fated in our sided. After leaving my post when grandfather forced me resigned, Nate and me fortunately have another jobs to keep us continue living without both family support. Their hatred meant nothing to us.

A year after leaving the company, my cousin actually made a big mistake caused the company in the riot. The price was we almost need to sell almost sixty percent of company shares to outsiders. Fortunately, I have people from inside that kept me updated about the company status.

I bought the shares little by little until I get it all. Now, no matter how much hatred they have, they can only swallow it to the deep pit. I am literally an owner to this company. First, I planned to put a stand in person in my stead but Nate persuaded me to go back to the company. Two years, everything back to the track.

Grandfather resigned from his position. The remaining relatives in this company show their fang in the family gathering. There, they would complaints nonstop to dearest grandfather. My parents? Oh they were only like wallpaper in the family. They also stood at grandfather side and blamed me for being an abomination. I hate their powerless and coward.

Nate's family from devoted believer, never missed the great Sunday. When Nate confessed his sexuality, they screamed in his face like he was a Satan reincarnation. He was basically diminished from family registration. Nate took almost two months before he could overcome the sadness.

After that, every day was so sweet and he was totally the right person I had chosen for myself. We completed each other. We were the best buddy, the great lover and the loving married coupled. This was not the secret but no one dared to speak about him now.

I hired them for working not running their mouth around as they like. I showed the consequence if they ever dare to gossip about us. Since then, Nate name and what he meant to me remained in secret. I go to my own office room. An earlier memory entered my mind cause me mindlessly touched everything Eric had touched earlier.

So, his biggest fear is a ghost. What is interesting man? I sit down and begin checking each files before signing over it. The times sure fly in a blink of an eye if you have a lot matter to do.

"Mr Hendricks, it's almost lunch." Carmen's perfume spread across my office room. The perfume enough to make you puke nonstop.

"What is my schedule today?" I lean on my chair. I just asked to get the confirmation again.

"You have two meetings after lunch." She explained.

"Okay but make sure you drive a different car because I have personal matter after the meeting." I said while flipping the document.

"But I..." She tries to protest but I cut her off.

"Or else you can take the public transport after the second meeting." I put down my pen and stare at her.

"Oh never mind, I also have an event tonight so better we take different car." Carmen frustrated replying me.

"Good, I would get there in another half an hour."

Carmen scurried out like a headless chicken. All my good moods disappear with woman overly reaction. I double checked the draft for both meetings, Unlocking my phone and texting Eric. I planned to eat outside again.

I have a meeting. Wait me at home after office hour over.

Okay, see you later. – In a second, Eric respond me. A smile down at lips again. I neat and bring the needed files along the laptop. Carmen had been waiting outside like a display doll at megamall. We get down with the same elevator but driving a different car.

Later at night, I'd arrived quite a late because the last client invited me to a private party. I wanted to decline but the man persuaded me no end. Carmen looks so happy with the invitation and told me her appointment got cancelled in a last minute.

One thing I knew about Carmen, she was a big liar. Her acting better than some lousy actress. One with thicken skin. Literally the type of hyper slutty during the college days. The meeting is going smoothly and we get both tenders. Carmen pretended her car breakdown and request me to bring her home. I help her calling the towing car and left her there.

After parked the car, I quickly rushed to the bedroom, spotting Eric sprawled across the bed. He looks so tired and I saw a medicine near his head. Did he get the heart attack? Did the heart also want to follow its real owner?

The bed dips as I sit. I brushed his bang aside. Observing if he have a pain but the man only have peaceful sleep. After checking everything is okay, I refreshed myself with taking a bath and changed into a new pair of clothes. I wake him up after that.

"Have you eaten?" I asked him.

"Not yet... you?" A small yawn escape his lips.

"Go wash your face and I shall bring you eat outside."

"Okay." He obedient going to wash his face.

Tonight, I was bringing him to an Italian restaurant. Judging from his smile, I knew he had tasted every food around the world. From the investigation, Eric had been around European, mostly places with few urbanisation effects before joining his family business.

"How the tender? Did you get it?"

"Sorry no business related after office hour. And, I also restrict you from bringing back any incomplete task. I paid you for working in office hour." I am sternly warning him. He sulked before stabbed the innocent Chicken Alfredo.

"Sorry..." He mumbles under breath.

"It is okay. Sorry but I am not around this weekend because some issue at Canada."

"Okay... I also need participate in charity program."

"What program?"

"Entertain heart patients in the hospital and joining an art exhibition in collecting the fund for them." He reluctantly answered.

"Then, don't tired yourself too much."

"No, staying with them remind me about my past and how lucky I was escaping the narrow death."

"Dead?" I pretend not knowing about this matter.

"Hmm, I was diagnosed with heart defected since I was a baby. Fortunately, my family didn't give up and helped me through the suffering ages. One day father broke a news about my awaiting to get new heart finally coming. Unfortunately, I don't know who the kind person due he demanded kept it confidential." Eric is playing with the chicken. His voice contained sadness and grateful. Really sincere.

"Oh... stop talk about depressed topic." We resumed eating in the rather tense air.

On the weekend, after ending the business, I dropped at the cemetery ground where my lover resided. Walking around silent and sturdy gravestones, strangely I didn't feel any fear. One day I would be placed here too. I caress the black cold tombstone with curving alphabetical and numeric.

Nathan Andrew Hamilton

His family didn't acknowledge our married, thus they used their family name instead mine. I don't really care about the trivial matter because the one laid under this still the same man. My lover and everything.

"Hi, Love... how are you? I just back from Canada. I missed you so much, Love. Two and half years haven't erased my love for you even an inch. Oh yeah, your heart also in good condition. I swear to keep it in a good care." I swept my finger on his name.

We created so much memories, in sadness and happiness. Stood shoulder to shoulder bearing human judgment. But the memories turned so painful, so sorrow as my half had left me alone. Letting me bore this misery alone. Why I let him drive at that night? Why I gave him a permission visited these cruel monsters.

In two years, my tears drained and shed no more tears whenever I visited this grave. I think the tears pool completely drained. In the past, whenever I was visiting this cold grave, I can't prevent from crying. Crying alone and pouring out all the suffering I tasted. The world no longer same as when we were together.

I began distancing myself from everyone. I gave a cold shoulder to everybody, relative or not. I preferred to be alone or when the pain goes worst, I was venting it with drowning in alcohol or sex. I don't care who I slept with. But they only remained as one night stand as I hate to have a deep relationship with the other people.

"I will come visit you again." I kiss the tombstone.

Putting the black sunglasses, I walked to my car. In this mood, I rather spent my day at my main house. The house where I shared with Nate. The house filled with our precious memory. I turned off the phone and put it under the seat. I wanted to be alone.

A/N

Hope you will enjoy this chapter as well. Thank you very much dear reader for dropping comment and vote in the previous chapter. See you next weekend.