Chapter 3

Harry blinked, stunned. "No?"

The crowd murmured as Snape's deadpan reply hung in the air. Harry's jaw worked soundlessly for a moment before he managed, "Why? I clearly saw you checking me out."

Snape's eyes flicked to the onlookers, then back to the King just standing in the middle of the road, looking shocked. His expression was unreadable, but the faintest twitch of his mouth betrayed amusement. He sighed before gesturing toward the house. "Not here. Come inside."

The crowd parted as Snape led Harry toward Spinner's End, the squat brick house loomed at the edge of the canal. Its windows were grimy, its door weathered, but inside it was surprisingly neat. Books were stacked in precise order or crammed into bookcases, while a faint scent of herbs lingered in the air.

Harry followed. Once the door shut behind them, he asked again. "So why not?"

Snape arched a brow, "Potter, just because I would like to climb you like a tree does not mean I want to marry you."

Harry's mouth fell open. "You... what..."

Snape smirked while folding his arms and leaning against the wall. "At least take me out for dinner first. And while you're at it, explain this convoluted idea you just spawned in front of half the town. Your Potter-ness is synonymous with recklessness."

Harry flushed crimson, torn between indignation and disbelief. "I wasn't reckless. It was... tactical."

"Tactical? You thought proposing to me in public would silence your court's obsession with heirs? Bold but foolish,"

Harry groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "Damnit, Draco..."

"Draco didn't have to tell me anything. I have been around Purebloods long enough to know what they would be aiming for... eventually." Severus stated and then invited Harry to sit. "Let me take a wild guess. You are being pressured for an heir, but for some reason, you do not want an heir. So you thought you'd propose to someone who could glare them into submission. Am I close?"

"Sneering would work too," Harry mumbled, suddenly feeling like a schoolboy again.

"So?" Severus said while taking a seat opposite Harry.

"So?"

"Are you going to convince me or not?"

"Huh?" Harry blinked.

"I am a Slytherin, Mr. Potter, and so are you, even if it was only for a few hours. If you want me to accept this insane plan of yours, you'll have to bribe me or convince me of the perks." Severus stated.

Harry gaped. "Bribe you?"

Snape leaned back in his chair, "Yes. Persuade me. What do I gain from shackling myself to your throne, your court, and your endless parade of crises? You want me to glare aristocrats into silence? Fine. But what's in it for me?"

Harry flushed, suddenly aware of how ridiculous his impulsive proposal had been. "I... hadn't thought that far ahead."

"Alright... perks. You'd get a better lab. I could have one built for you in the castle, state-of-the-art, enchanted ventilation, wards, and whatever modifications and equipment you want." Harry shifted in his chair.

Snape's brow arched, but he said nothing.

Harry pressed on. "Unlimited potion ingredients. Anything you want, from anywhere in the world."

Snape's lips twitched, though his expression remained carefully neutral. Harry leaned forward. "Food. You'd have access to the royal kitchens. Gourmet meals every day."

Snape gave him a long, unimpressed look. "You think I'd marry you for soup?"

"Clothing, then." Harry flushed. "Land. Estates?"

Snape tilted his head, considering. Then Harry's eyes gleamed with mischief now. "And... I could arrange for Lucius Malfoy to wear Umbridge pink for twenty‑four hours. Publicly."

For the first time, Snape's composure cracked. A sharp, dark laugh escaped him before he smoothed his expression again. "Now that is a bribe worthy of consideration."

"What about the drawbacks?" Severus then asked.

"Drawbacks?"

"Yes. You'd be shackled to me, and I to you. Your court would whisper endlessly. Your enemies would look for weaknesses. And you'd have to endure my sarcasm daily."

Harry groaned. "I already endure Draco's daily sarcasm. I can survive yours."

"We shall see,"

"You mentioned dinner," Harry stated. "Would you like to join me tonight at the castle? I can give you my personal floo address."

Snape's lips twitched. "Perhaps. Provided the food is edible and the company tolerable."

Then Harry tilted his head. "Alright, but tell me, why did you seem so gleeful about Lucius in pink?"

For the first time, Snape's composure cracked into something resembling satisfaction. "Because, Potter, I am still getting Lucius back for tricking me into stealing a penguin from the Muggle zoo when I was thirteen."

"Wait... what?!" Harry blinked.

"I spent three days hiding it in my room at Malfoy Manor before his mother discovered it waddling through her drawing room. The humiliation was... memorable."

Harry gaped, torn between laughter and horror. "You stole a penguin."

Harry's jaw dropped, and his mind struggled to reconcile the image of his dour ex‑professor with the absurdity of a penguin waddling through Malfoy Manor. "You stole a penguin," he repeated, as though saying it aloud might make it less surreal.

"Indeed. A juvenile emperor penguin, if memory serves. Lucius insisted it was a rare magical bird, and I—foolishly—went along with him. Three days of feeding it fish filched from the kitchens, three days of listening to its incessant squawking, and then it was discovered parading through the drawing room. I was nearly hexed into oblivion."

Harry pressed a hand to his mouth, trying not to laugh. "Merlin's beard... Draco is going to love this story."

Leaning back in his chair, Harry shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe I'm sitting here, negotiating marriage with you, and somehow penguins are involved."

"Consider it a lesson. If you wish to bribe a Slytherin, Potter, offer them power, respect... and the occasional opportunity for poetic justice."