Song attached: Let me love you by Dj Snake feat. Justin Bieber (this song is so perfect ♡_♡)

*starts singing in her usual crappy tone*

Don't you give up
Nah nah nah
I won't give up
Nah nah nah

Let me love you
Let me love you         

Okay! I'll shut up now. Go read the chapter amigos! (I just felt like using 'amigo', amigo. Don't mind me)                       

                                              e l e v e n

                             [ r e a l i t y   c h e c k]

"You're doing it all wrong," Kiranya whispered tapping her pencil on my note.

I looked down to see that I had used a completely wrong formula for the question and winced. I cut the entire problem and started from the start. We worked in silence for a few minutes before I heard Kiranya clear her throat.

"What's wrong?"

She was looking at me as emotionless as ever but my mind flashed back to her laughing face from the woods. My eyes trailed down to her lips which were in their trademark sullen look. But weirdly though, my heart rate picked up.

"Helium," she whispered again and I looked away trying to shake images of Kiranya looking... attractive from my mind.

I laughed. Or at least that's what I tried to do. In the end, I sounded like a five year old on sugar rush. I abruptly stood and started gathering my notebooks, stuffing them into my bag. Maybe I'd stop being like someone who's under the... happy stuff if I avoid Kiranya's brooding presence.

"Helium..." Kiranya called again but I didn't dare look into her eyes. "What's wrong?"

What's wrong?

Oh nothing's wrong. It's just that ever since that freak day in the woods, every time I look at you, I see you in this... sparkly light thing with my mind flashing back to every single moment you gave that tiny shy smile of yours. And every time I look into your corpse eyes, my heart does this weird 'pa-dhump' stunt as if I had just finished a 5 miles marathon and then, I become a sweaty mess. Oh, and I also feel like I was made to stand in the Moon with nothing but a sweatshirt with vacuum surrounding me as I struggle for breath. Which is quite fatal if you ask me. And let's not forget the huge urge to crash your body against my chest in a bear hug.

Of course I can't say that to her! That's like asking for the Grim Reaper to reap my soul with offerings in a gold platter.

"Um, I have to go home early today. You know, family thing." I shrugged and Kiranya just tilted her head.

I tightly shut my eyes and counted from one to ten to calm my nerves before opening my eyes to find her still looking at me like that. My hands started to itch as the desire to pull her into me started growing stronger.

Varun, self control. You don't want to end handless right? Self control. Yeah, take a deep breath. Yes, just like that.

Kiranya folded her hands across her chest as she continued looking at how I was busy behaving like a retard. I coughed, hitching my bag higher on my shoulder.

"I better get going."

"Okay."

Surprisingly for the first time in almost a month since I've known her as BookManiac12 and Kiranya, she walked me to the door.

Once I was out of the gates, I turned back to find Kiranya still standing there in all her plaid shirt glory. And though her dressing style would be any fashionista's nightmare, it still stole my breath at how she looked.

"Erm, I'll be going. Stay safe. Lock the doors. Don't come out until uncle comes, okay? And if there's a bigfoot trying to trespass, remember that I'm just a call away right?" I blabbered but stopped when Kiranya cracked a small bemused smile. She have a curt nod and I nodded back.

"I'm going now. Good night."

"Helium, it's six thirty in the evening."

I face palmed myself internally and shot her a salute. "I meant, advance good night."

She all but rolled her eyes before going back in while I stood there for a few seconds rubbing my neck and trying to control my growing need to pull my hair and kick myself. 

This needs to stop.

*

*

*

Whack!

Someone took a sharp breath above me and I halted from my backing away mission. I looked up to find Yuvan glaring at me while rubbing his chin. I was sure I looked like a deer caught in the headlights right then.

"What the hell, man?" he hissed as I continued throwing sorry after sorry at him.

"Serves him right," Boomi mumbled in the background. And just like that, they started squabbling like an old married couple. My eyes found Kiranya's and they were looking at me with an intensity that threw me off balance.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I announced.

Kiranya raised her eyebrow. "You just returned from there," she remarked but I wasn't there to counter that reasonable statement.

For the past week, I've been behaving like a clumsy idiot as I tried to maintain my nerves around Kiranya. And the added pressure of the question of why I was behaving like this to my childhood friend didn't help me.

And the growing curiosity for this mystery revolving around Kiranya's family worth a television drama made me edgy. I met her father again the other day. This time, it was at the old park where I first met their family. He was sitting on a bench overlooking the sandbox, a box of cake beside him. His eyes were hooded as he continued looking at the sandbox. At first I decided to just leave him to his thoughts but right when I was about to turn, his eyes met mine. Without no other choice, I waved at him before walking over to him.

The conversation was short. Just another round of pleasantries. But what made it feel wrong was how he asked me how his daughter was. Okay, it was normal for parents to ask their child's friends about how their kid was at school and their progress. But it was different. When I said that she was one of the top students at school, he simply leaned back on the bench, a small proud yet melancholic smile on his face. I was pretty bad with human emotions but even I was capable of detecting when something was wrong.

And right then, both Kiranya and her dad had looked wrong.

Maybe her mother died and it took a toll on the small family. It would explain many things like how Kiranya was always alone at her house, how her ID card only has one number, how the charming young man who used to walk around easily with both Kiranya and me on his hips looked like a mess now. But it all didn't make sense because she had said to my mom that 'her mother wouldn't mind.'

Argh, screw everything! Maybe I should've simply stayed at Riverside.

That day, I didn't attend the rest of the classes since I had been busy hiding in one of those less tidy toilet cubicles.

*

*

*

Before I knew, I was full on ignoring Kiranya like the plague. Ever since that day when I made my mom bait Kiranya into making me stay at her place, I went there every day. We simply did homework, me talking nonstop and Kiranya, grunting now and then. But since that one day of ditching classes, I had stopped going to her house. For the first three or so days, she asked what was wrong. For the next five or six days, she stared at me as I tried to avoid making conversation with her. After that, she stopped looking at me. It went back to how everything was at first. We both became complete strangers.

Boomi noticed the change immediately and interrogated me. Since I actually know how annoying that girl can be when she's being determined and strict, I went for the dirty, cheap excuse. I told her that I was tired of Kiranya's creepy, corpse eyes and closed off behaviour. I was expecting a really worse outburst but all I suffered was a stinging pain in my right cheek and the echoes of Boomi's voice screaming 'you sick bastard.'

Even Yuvan, whom I expected would do a happy dance and throw a party since I had stopped being his crush's shadow, asked me what's wrong. I repeated the same excuse I told Boomi expecting a sting on my left cheek and more colourful words but all he did was thump my shoulders before walking away saying that I was lying.

Who knew lover boy was insightful?

Ping.

I looked from my physics book to see a notification from wattpad.

BookManiac12 has updated Through the cheerleader's eyes [ 10 ]

And even though I was technically cutting relations with Kiranya, I still read the update. And the more I read through the update, the more I knew something wasn't right.

The chapter was amazing. It was sad as Roslyn, the Cheerleader narrated the playboy and the good girl being all lovey dovey in front of the entire cafeteria and how she couldn't show a single reaction since if she so as moved a muscle, the whole school would be there to boo at her saying she was a 'jealous, mean bully.' It was just another chapter of the story. But it felt like someone had douched me with water straight from Antarctica when the chapter progressed from Roslyn being bitter at the couple to her being bitter at the entire society. The chapter focussed more on friends who were untrue and who left her when she needed them the most.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"I'm going out!" I shouted as I hurried down the staircase. And right when I almost reached the landing, my foot slipped and I crashed down. The maids along with my mother rushed to the living room only to see me shoot them a thumps up from my position on the floor.

"I'm okay!" I shouted again swallowing back the groan that was threatening to spill. "I'm okay. I'm okay so go back to whatever you guys were doing."

My mother opened her mouth to say something, but with a 'I'll be back' I was out of the doors.

I cursed myself as I ran on the dimly lit road to Kiranya's house. I cursed at how the whole let's-ignore-Kiranya thing was an utter stupidity since it did nothing to soothe my accelerating heart rate when I looked into her eyes or my clampy hands that wouldn't do what I wanted when she so as spared me a look. I cursed at how I forgot to wear a sweater or overcoat in my haste. I cursed at everything that came into my mind right then.

The cold night air bit my skin as my flimsy T-shirt did nothing to block it. But in a way, it felt kind of nice. It felt like... her. All cold outside, yet gave a cosy warmth to my adrenaline rushed body.

Once I was at her house, I didn't use the calling bell or anything as I opened the gates myself and stalked to the front door. I knocked on it with a force I didn't know I could muster as I waited with bated breath. I didn't know what came into me but I wiped my sweaty face with my sleeves and ran a hand through my hair which was wet with sweat, trying to look presentable.

I mean, this was Kiranya. She wouldn't bat an eyelash if I stand before her wearing a potato sack smelling like an onion truck full of onions let to rot! She'd still look at me with that skin crawling stare and—

The door opened.

She looked the same. Another one of her famous worn out plaid shirts clung on her frame, like a cloak shielding her from everything and her trademark skinny jeans were on. She was dressed in old yet not so cosy clothes like always.

Some kind of calmness spread across my chest and for once in so many days, though my heart was pounding inside my chest painfully, it felt reassuring. Made me feel a little less lost.

Black.

I felt like a fish who had been out of water long enough to feel like dying, yet had not died, gasping for breath, writhing only to be thrown back into the water at the last moment as her black eyes pierced my violet and blue-green ones.

The emotions were overwhelming and complicated. I'm Varun. I don't do complicated stuff.

Kiranya didn't say a single word, her eyes holding mine in a sort of captivity. They were guarded, not spilling even the slightest of emotions.

"I'm a certified jerk," I said loudly.

It carried louder than I meant in the silent night. Kiranya's stance didn't change and neither did her eyes.

"I shouldn't have ran away," I continued cautiously and when it was evident that she wouldn't kill me, I proceeded further. "I was stupid. And I was confused. People change. They don't be the same as they were when they were five. But no one changes enough to be like how you are right now. That isn't a normal thing. And it doesn't help that you're being so secretive. As... wrong as it sounds, I came back for you. I don't even know why! It was like, suddenly I felt 'hey, I wonder what Sandy is doing right now. I should meet her' and just like that I changed schools.

"And I come back to find that everything about you has changed. And you wouldn't even let me meet your parents. Then there's this weird malfunction of my body were every body part becomes hyperactive when you're around. It's scary, you know. Then Grandpa Beardie asks something like 'you don't know what happened' in that grave voice. I got curious. Any normal human would be curious. Yet I tried to respect your sense of privacy. I swore to be there for you. I swore to wait for you. I wanted you to trust me. But everything started getting... strange. Maybe nothing's wrong. Maybe I'm just overreacting. But I'm someone who is simple. And these things are complicated. I got scared. I got overwhelmed and I took the easy way out. I ran away from you only to realise that that doesn't help. So here I am. I came back. I'm truly sorry."

Kiranya regarded me with a cool stare, nothing changing in her expression or position hearing my extra long speech while I stood opposite her, heaving and panting like a race hound after a race.

Okay, it wasn't like I expected her to break down crying and say things like how she should've been more open with me or expected her to hug me saying she trusted me now and say something like 'let's go built a sand castle to renew our lost friendship!' with her tugging me towards the sunset, in this case, black night.

But I didn't expect her to shut her door on my face.

And I certainly didn't expect to hear her bolt the door followed by the porch light above my head to go off.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is reality check.

~✩~✩✩~✩~

Okay, I started the chapter with something on my mind and it turned completely into something else O.o

But after writing it, I felt like this actually helped with the plot :D Whatdya guys think is going to happen following this? Tell me!

If you liked the update, and enjoyed reading it, please vote and leave feedback!

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With love,
Kavya.