POSSIBLE TRIGGERS

A knock on the door. Simple but strong with meaning. Lily dresses quickly, the constant fear of her husband discovering her gnawing at the back of her mind. Madam yanks the knob, an unknowing prisoner in her left arm hooked by her elbow and a passion to kill. Julius flashes a shy smile moments before being forced to his knees on the splintering wood floor.

"Do you know him?!" Madam's voice is hoarser than usual, more cigarettes I'm guessing. She should lay off before she's stuck with a plastic lung.

I rub the back of my neck, coolly trying to play off the fear boiling inside me. "He's a...friend...I guess."

Julius shows another smile "Told you."

Madam coughs a few times before staring me straight in the eyes, finger raising to point at me in an adagio matter. "You are not to leave this brothel nor this room for this man will not have you. Ever." That's one way to turn crazy stepmother the night before the ball. I huff silently at my thoughts.

Julius is instantly crushed, Madam dragging him out by his baby blue shirt collar. Through all of this I never realized Lily had snuck out of the room. Most likely to avoid an awkward situation.

I lay back to face the many ceiling cobwebs and baby spiders, a sudden ache of loneliness coming over me. The wood splinters as they spin silky webs for me in dazzling rhombuses and squares. A larger, much older spider turns to face me, it's eyes lingering on mine before scurrying back to a hole in the wall. Strange.

The days go by as usual as I sleep with women, bathe, get paid. I feel the need to cry, for being locked in a bedroom for seven days isn't living life to the fullest. Especially when a certain violet eyed man won't leave your thoughts. Madam has yet to speak to me as I to her. She will stop by once a day to make sure I didn't escape through a non existent hole but that is my only contact with humanity, for women seize to come.

As the days pass my mood declines drastically. First I just don't want to see women, the thought of their presence annoying me, but then I crave for the attention they gave me. How they hugged and kissed and touched me.

I don't quite understand why I'm given such treatment, I did nothing wrong. I do think of Julius more than usual now. His violet eyes and strong, diamond like skin, paler than the average human. My body shakes with the thought of ice on fire, his skin on my skin.

"He looks so distant." I stand in excitement at the sound of a female and quickly scramble to a sitting position beneath the sheets.

Greeted by a closed door, I sink back down with my head on a pillow, mind flooding with disappointment. There's a small cough and my head jerks to face a spider the size of a quarter. I sneak a smile as I count the eyes. Two. She's just like me...in a way.

"Good evening!" I whisper. My excitement barely able to be contained.

The spider jumps before leaning it's minuscule head closer to me "Can...can you...?"

A smile rivaling the Cheshire Cat plasters itself to my face. "Yes, I can hear you! I mostly just choose to ignore your...insects's chatter."

"Then you must be-"

All joking aside I say: "I choose to not talk about that title unless necessary."

She bows in respect of my offer then continues with her messy and slurred speech. "I can't even- all this time I never even knew you were him! You're N-"

"Yes, but the past is behind us and the future is ahead. I don't think back often, don't make me now please." She seems to understand my request, minuscule head bobbing as she folds and unfolds each of her twiggy, hair coated legs.

"So sad," I can no longer tell if she's speaking to me, eyes glazed and voice distant as she speaks as if discussing fairy tales. "Locked up in this Hell of a place."

"I've been to Hell, trust me, this place is worse." I laugh weakly, sick with longing for something, someone, I never had.

"I know a way to escape."

As she drops down onto my lap I listen intensely, grasping onto every last thread of hope.

•••

The moon is high up tonight, three days after the spider visit. Her plan has worked so far as I make my way to the brothel basement. The night conceals me, my socked feet maneuvering over every creaky floorboard.

The fire shines through the cracks in the wall, sending ghostly chills through me. The phantom fingers caressing my back, neck, arms, leaving only goosebumps and terror behind. I've been in a basement before, watched my coworkers be slaughtered and burned before me. They always destroy evidence when caught, even the living evidence.

I catch a whiff of the mildew aroma and almost faint. So many memories as I pass the bloody chains and decaying bodies. A few cockroaches crawl away from a water bottle most likely filled with bleach and scatter to rotten human remains.

Dust rises and the stone walls began to sweat as I grow nearer to freedom. On my knees I scoot down a winding tunnel. Taking a deep breath, freedom fills my lungs right before Satan drags me back.

Her claw-like fingernails slash against my ankles as stronger hands tug me by the waist. Madam grinds her teeth in frustration, slapping me multiple times. Cheeks burning, I kick and thrash until she falls back but the other men easily overpower me.

A small squeal bursts through my lips with each kick to the side, Madam's eyes burning with rage until she throws the men off me. They exit the basement without a backwards glance as I stay chained to the wall, bloody ankles and bloody cheeks being washed clean with tears.

•••

It seems like days before I see light. My stomach burns from hunger and my wrists have swollen to twice their size from the rusted cuffs. Through the ajar basement door I spy Madam and a strange man exchanging money, my stomach dropping as his animalistic eyes glare in my direction. A hunger to them that has me backing into the nearest corner.

Madam walks with her usual quickness, squats in her pink stilettos to my height, and grabs my face with manicured nails. "Slaves are slaves. Work and sex is all the same. You are being punished for your actions."

I'm quickly blindfolded and pushed onto my knees in a blinding movement before Hell erupts on my back. It's the same sound as thunder on a stormy night, lightning hitting the ground, leaving a red trail of flames -of blood- on the ground. I try to contain my screams as I soak my blindfold with tears.

The darkness swallows my pain as the whip comes down again and again onto my body, splitting my skull. I'm a jumbled mess of flesh before she stops and her light butterflyish footsteps are replaced by those of a man. I can tell he's quite thin by the way the floor barely squeaks. His eyes boring into me with the same hunger as the man at the stairs. He laughs to himself before forcefully pushing me to the ground and raping me.

•••

I can't stop thinking about last night. The man ignored my screams of terror and pain as my arms were twisted by chains. Loose layers of skin were accidentally ripped from their rightful place on my body. There were more visitors after the first, enough that they eventually just tied me to one of the beds for easy access to multiple men at once.

My legs still tremble from my attackers and fresh tears are spilt as the rapists overflow my memory like a bad flood, washing away your only summer crops. The way they hissed my name, pulled my hair, I dry heave at the memories but my growling stomach reprimands me.

Last night I eventually closed my eyes for a darkness I'm comfortable with. With my eyes open I was vulnerable to flashbacks. Of Audrey. Of that night in the alley. Of my parents. Another man enters my basement, soaking the walls with a heavy aroma of expensive cologne.

My scalp is still healing from Madam's whip so I'm sensitive to the removal of the blindfold and chains. He's a business man, no taller than 5"6 and dressed in a black tux. His eyes wander to my wounds where he gives a cautious smile before undressing me. I shift uncomfortably around him before he settles me down in his lap.

"You're broken." He sighs.

I'm too parched to speak but I swallow in a makeshift attempt to reply. He sits Indian style and rocks us in a backward forward rolling motion while combing his fingers through my blood matted hair.

"It's okay to cry." He whispers with a soothing smile.

I don't. Maybe it's because I've been trained by experience to never cry on the job. Maybe it's because Madam is looming over us like an angry vulture, ready to snap me with her whip and devour the pieces of my aching soul.

A wicked crack ruptures the air as the whip finds itself attracted to my unhealed back, my hollow body falling into the man's lap. Madam cackles hysterically as the man leaps away in horror and shock. "Payment!" She howls as her frilly pink blouse exposes too much and a button flys off.

My thoughts are drowned by my own screams and her orders for the man to do things to me. I plead with my eyes wishing the man still has a hold of the kindness he expressed moments before. He turns to face me, eyes dark and cold all sparks of compassion wiped with fear.

Undressing himself this time, he grabs a fistful of my hair, and collides his curled fist to my face. The whip still falls down onto my back, my vision spotted and blurred like a burnt film around the edges. More men join. More whips. More pain. More men inside me. More pain. Knives cutting away at something. Pain. Pain. And finally darkness.

•••

I count the bloody fingerprint calendar on the wall. It's been three months in the dark basement away from humanity except the daily rapes and beatings controlled by her. I shiver for I'm naked and the weather has turned quite chilly, my mind flashing back to when I was walking to work and was twirling my heel on the ice.

My hair has grown longer and now is almost to the middle of my shoulder blades. My eyes have clouded over from the physical, mental, and emotional darkness. My skin has only seemed to grow colder and paler, resembling Julius's in a way. Julius. That name has brought me pain for so long now it's not even funny-not that my life ever is.

"Julius..." I call into the blinding darkness as I have so many times. I've had his words in my head since day one, a broken record that seemed to be dying out. I'm going to come back for you. I promise. The spiders would scatter and the cockroaches would hide but this time everyone oddly stays put. Footsteps are audible walking down the stairs and I instinctively flinch, beginning to cry before the whippings even begin.

"Moon darling."

I jerk my head up so quickly the chains almost choke me. "Julius!" I scream into nothingness. The chains rattling against the walls as I jerk about, the tears falling faster as I try to get to him. "Julius!" My screams are bloodcurdling and my ears ache from the chains but I keep it up, wanting-no needing- him to find me.

Julius comes running to me, tears welling up in his eyes as he takes in my malnutrition and empty form. I'm showered in kisses by this stranger his lips like ice and taste of oranges. I'm grabbing him with as much of my strength as I can muster. It hurts to reopen the wounds on my knuckles but I want to touch him and know he's real. To know he's not just another mirage birthed from the constant darkness. She comes down to our make up party and I hide in the shadows shaking.

"Take it. Take all of it just let me have him." The pain in his voice is audible as he throws thousands of wadded bills at her. She removes the key from her bosom to free my swollen and cut wrist, an expression on her face I can't quite read. I fall weakly into Julius as he carries me bridal-style out of the brothel, my fist gripping his white t-shirt until my knuckles turn white.

I let out a faint cry as the light from outside touches me. Tears are streaming down my cheeks as my eyes try to adjust to the painful light of the sun, whimpers breaking through my busted lips. Julius hides my naked body with his jacket and I utilize it to cover myself in familiar darkness. I'm lifted into a car smelling strongly of oranges before being embraced by Julius.

"Hospital. I'm taking you to the hospital and then home. You're free. You get to come home with me and everything will be okay I promise." He rambles, smoothing the back of my hair down flat.

"Julius." I murmur as he hands me water and I chug it gratefully. "Julius, thank you." It comes out scratchy and rough but he understands it none the less.

He smiles at me, a real ear to ear grin before he drives to the hospital and I doze off.

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Note:

1/5/13 I changed the cover! I like this one a lot better than the last. I didn't really change this chapter that much but I still think it's better than before. I'm really working on trying to distinguish Moon's character from Julius's.

Don't forget to comment/fan/vote if you enjoy this new and improved version of Crossblood!

Picture of Julius to the right

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