(Don't read, very cringe, you have been warned)

Narrator: Romeo and Juliet a um… different story? Who wrote this a 2 year old!?! Ugh anyway… (romantic music) Romeo and Juliet a love story beyond reason….. (Music ends with a weird sound) What is this?! Backwards? Now this word is sideways!

*Narrator throws book*(movement)

*Grabs random book*  

Narrator: Ok! We’ll just read this one!

Narrator: Cinderella!

Random person: Dude… you actually have to do this

Narrator: NOPE GET LOST! I DON’T HAVE TO!

Random person: You do.

Narrator: UGH FINE!

*random person goes away*

*Narrator grabs the book again*

(Romantic music)

*Narrator huuuuugh*

Narrator: Romeo was a total buttface and i hate his guts… wow this kid really hates romeo…

Anyway. One day romeo was being a buttface like normal. And disrespecting his parents

Romeo:(shouts) I do what I want Mother! *puts on leather jacket*

Narrator: Wow this kid is really making him a sucky character…

Romeo’s Mother: Romeo! We are your parents and We forbid you from going to the party it’s past your bedtime! Now go to your chambers!

Romeo’s father: Your mother is right! Parents know best!

Romeo: You guys are the worst!

*Romeo stomps away*

Narrator: Romeo went. . . and did what buttfaces do? I’m serious, this kid HATESSSS romeo! Get some help kid, anyway… Romeo didn't know but someone else was sharing his sufferings.

*Romeo leaves the front*

Juliet: But DADDDDDD everyone in BOTH kingdoms are attending! I’ll be the only one not attending! You are the worst father ever!!!!

* juliet stomps her foot*

Juliet’s Father: Juliet this is for your own good! I’m doing this to protect you! You never know what kind of people are out there you !

Juliet's Mother: Your father is right dearest! We are doing this because we love you!

*juliet walks to the middle and her parents leave*   

*juliet rubs her hands together with an evil grin*

Narrator: Hm… this is kinda cool… when you get past the fact half of the words are like in a different language… anyway both Juliet and buttface… THIS KID NEEDS HELP!

Random person: Dude… Just continue…

Narrator:....

Random person: Bro… Just do it… You ARE getting paid…

Narrator: LOLLIPOPS DON'T COUNT!

Random person: just…. Ugh… fine… we can wait.

*random person stares blankly at the Narrator*

Narrator:... Fine!!! Just go away! Shoo!

*random person leaves*

Narrator: *sigh* let's continue… Juliet came up with a perfect fool-proof plan. At night she would sneak out hopefully not to wake up the ever so grumpy guard.

*loud snores coming from the guard*

*Juliet tries to sneak past but makes a very irritable squeaky sound*

Juliet (whisper): oops…

Guard (regular): Juliet! What are you doing outside of your chambers!

Narrator: At this point she had to quickly find a reasonable excuse…

Juliet: Well...um…. Look! (Quickly) a middle aged woman desperate for love!

*Juliet points of to the distance and the guard turns around*

Guard: Wait what! Well um (yell) WELL MY NAME IS HAROLD AND I LIKE KIDS AND LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH!

*Juliet quickly runs away**put her pinky up*

Juliet: loser!

*Juliet keeps walking until bumping into Romeo*

Narrator: See! Kids need to get off their phones!

Random person: it wasn't because of their phones there was no phones in that time

*random person stomps foot*

Narrator: SHUT UP IT’S TRUE! PHONES ARE TAKING OVER THEIR LIVES! YOU BUTTCHEEK HOLE! HUH…...HOLY Sugar Honey Ice Tea!

Random person: ugh… just keep reading…And your an idiot...

Narrator: FINE! JUST GET OUT OF MY SPOTLIGHT!!! I am not an idiot , your an idiot…. Jeez mah gawd (sing) Why ya gotta be so rudeee!

Random person: Stop already! Read the story!!!

Narrator: ok fine!!! Snow white and-

Random people: NO! It's Cinderella!... Wait… oops we mean Romeo and Juliet…. Heheh…

Narrator: FINE! So while Romeo and juliet bumped into each other their first reaction was-

Random person: IT WAS “IMMA GET ME SOME O’ DAT”

Narrator: No! It was-

Random person: TO CUSS EACH OTHER OUT!

Narrator: SHUT UP! IT WAS THAT THEY LOOKED LIKE NICE PEOPLE AND THEY BOTH WANTED TO PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP GAWD!

Juliet: Hey! Sorry about that heheh

Romeo: it's fine…

Juliet: What are you Emo?

Romeo: What! no!

Juliet: oh… Ya look emo?

Romeo: No I don't!

Juliet:Fine fine… are you going to that boat party?

Romeo: DUH! Everyone is going!

*Romeo storms off*

*Juliet rolls her eyes*

Narrator: Mina? Who's mina?

Random person: a new character…

Narrator: fine… I'll continue now…

*Mina approached Juliet*

Mina: Stay away from romeo!

Juliet: Who?

Mina: You know who I'm talking about! The boy you were just talking to!

Juliet: The emo kid? We never introduced ourselves so how would I know!

Mina: Just stay away from him!

*Mina walked away*

*Juliet has a confused look on her face*

Narrator: Juliet walks to the party running into butt face… I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS!

Random person: Just ignore it!!!

Narrator: Fine….

Juliet: you again!

Romeo: What are you talking about! YOU bumped into ME!

Narrator: After a long silence filled with anger and death glares they decided

Romeo: Hey… this is pretty stupid to fight about…

Juliet: Yep

Romeo: Wanna start over?

Juliet: Sure I'm Juliet

Romeo: Romeo!

*Romeo and Juliet shake hands*

Romeo: well I'm heading inside

Juliet: oh me too!

*Romeo leaves*

Mina: Juliet….

Juliet:....

Mina: Juliet!

Juliet:...

Mina: HOLY MOTHER OF CALVIN ARE YOU DEATH!??!?

Juliet: No! I just don't want to talk to you!

Mina: Oh…. Why! Don't be a buttface, and talk to me!

Juliet: Ugh.. Fine! What do you want!

Mina: um… 40 puppies, an island, oh! AND YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM ROMEO!

Juliet: Why?

Mina: DO I REALLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN AGAIN!

Random person in background: Yes!

Mina: LEAVE!

*Random person in background leaves*

Mina: Finally! Ok so-

Juliet: Are you going to explain or nah?

Mina: IF YOU WOULD LET ME!

Juliet: fine

Mina: thank you. So Romeo is mine NOT yours so don't talk to him!

Juliet: So you two are dating?

Mina: Yes! Well… currently no… but soon!

Juliet: are you sure about that?

Mina: DUH! I know everything about him!

Juliet: So what I get from this is you are an obsessed stalker?

Mina: Yes! Wait! No! No I'm not!!!

Juliet: Ok then?

*Juliet backs away slowly from mina*

Mina: Hey! You! Juliet! Where are you going!?!

*mina shakes her fist in the air*

Narrator: Wait who is this Mina girl anyway?

*Random person face palms*

Narrator: What?

Random person: just… just continue…

Narrator: Ok?

Narrator: anyway! So romeo was waiting in line and since he was a prince he OBVIOUSLY was let in without a struggle.

Romeo: Heh, do you even KNOW who I am?!?

Bouncer: You have to be on the list.

Romeo: What ‘List’ are you looking at!?!?

Random person with fake British accent and moustache: Excuse me but may I come inside my good sir,

Bouncer: of course. What is your name?

Random person with fake British accent and moustache: Sir fancy the third!

Bouncer: please come in,

Random person with fake British accent and moustache:Tralalala! Thank you good sir!

*Random person with fake British accent and moustache leaves*

Romeo: ARE YOU SERIOUS

*Romeo grabs the Bouncer by the collar*

Romeo:He got in but not me! HOW!?!?

Bouncer(still calm): You WERE on the list-

Romeo (interruption) :THEN WHO TOOK ME OFF!?!?

Bouncer:Your father.

Romeo:WHAT!

Bouncer: Yep.

*Romeo let's go of collar*

Romeo: No, it was ‘What’ with an exclamation point not a question mark

Bouncer: Oh..

Romeo: Yep

Bouncer:Well you know it's kinda confusing and-

*Romeo already snuck inside*

Bouncer: What the get back here!

Narrator: this story is not interesting.

Random person: I know

Other random person: Just keep reading

Narrator: But it's boring! Huuuugh!

Other random person in background: just do it!

Narrator: fine!

Narrator: As Romeo got in, he saw that Juliet was already there ..

Romeo: Oh hey! It's you again!

Juliet?: Do I know you?

Narrator: Romeo didn't know but he was actually speaking to a tall man who was wearing a pretty blue dress, not Juliet. But he continued his conversation.

Romeo: oh come on you forgot me already!

The man: We've never met.

Romeo: yes we have!

Narrator: Oh sweet stupid Romeo you two haven't met! Hee hee! Juliet is still outside!

Random person: I don't remember the story like this.

Narrator: Me too but it's fine! Ok I'll continue! Romeo kept trying to tell the man that they've met before.

Romeo: ugh! We just met outside! Do you have short term memory loss!?!?

The man: grrr….

*the man turns to face Romeo*

Random fangirl person: And as the man's wispy beard blew gently in the wind, As Romeo’s eyes widened at the man's figure. Tall and lean, though the face of a god. Romeo longed for this man and the man did the-

Narrator: that's enough from you! Grrr…

Romeo: oh h-hey bud…

The man: grrr….

Romeo: heheh….? All's good right bro?

The man: oh you wou-

Juliet: Vincent…

The man(motherly voice): Oh hi juliet! How are you sweetie!  

Juliet: I'm fine… Why are you here Vincent?

Vincent (still motherly): Oh I was just here you know! Heheh!

*vincent starts to sweat*

Juliet: Mhm! Sure buddy! Did my parents set you up to this?

Vincent: n-nope!

Juliet: mhm…. Sure!

*Vincent gulps*

Vincent: fine fi-

Romeo: did everyone forget about me!?!?

Juliet: shut up! Continue Vincent.

Vincent: Fine they set me up to do it! They even disguised me!

Juliet :how? You don't look different at ALL. And why are you wearing my mom’s dress?!?

Vincent: I'm disguised as a female!

Juliet: how you still even have your beard! What female has a beard?!?

Random person: hey that's rude!

Narrator: do you know any one who is a girl who has a beard?

Random person: yes I do! My aunt Tracey has a beard and she's around of it!

Aunt Tracey: Yeah!

*aunt Tracey and random person high five each other*

Narrator:.... Ok? Anyway…

Vincent: W-we didn't have time!

Juliet: really ugh!

Romeo: did you guys seriously forget about me!?!?

Juliet: oh hey I forgot you were here.

Romeo: rude!

*Author of script comes onto stage while Romeo Juliet and Vincent freeze*

Author: Ahem. Due to me being very lazy we will have a small intermission please take all the champagne, alcohol and cookies as you want

*Assistant comes in and whispers something to me I mean the author heheh*

Author: ok so some cookies MIGHT be drugged you have been warned thank you.

Juliet and Romeo: A L C O H O L !

Random person: wait! Wasn't Romeo 16 and Juliet was 13 they aren't even legally able to drive!?!? Now they're drinking!

Narrator: I don't really care.

Random person: what but- ugh fine!

Narrator: good now I'm going to get a cookie!

Other random person: that's only for the people in the story ma'am!

Narrator: NOOOOOO!

Other random person: yep

*narrator cries loudly*

Random person:.... Um dude?

Narrator: WAHHH! JUST LEAVE ME TO DIE!

Random person: umm?

*Assistant comes over and says something to the narrator*

Narrator: Yay! Anyway…

Random fangirl person: may I go again?

Narrator: NO

Random fangirl person: So-

Narrator: No!

Random Modern person: Nah fam, imma do dat readin’

Random old person: You young people confuse me… So how about I try it out?

Narrator: no

Random fangirl person: Sure!

Random modern person: Fo’sho bruh

Random old person: Ok, so huddle around kiddos.

Romeo-

Narrator: MY STORY!

*random old person gets scared and has a heart attack*

Everyone: HO MAH HOLY SHICKEN TENDERS NOONE WAS GONNA DIE! WHY DID THIS HAPPEN! OH MY-

Author: There is a lot of screaming and crying in this part so let's just skip it….

Narrator:...

Everyone else:....

Narrator: so um… Romeo rushed over to the food area, it was filled with cookies alcohol and champagne… Romeo quickly grabbed 3 bottles and chugged them… Juliet went over and stuffed 6 cookies in her mouth…

Author screams from background: YO SOME ARE POISONED, JUST SAYING… YOU CANT SUE ME FOR THIS!

Narrator: right…? So Juliet went to the edge of the boat…-

Random fangirls person: Oooh! Are we going to have a titanic moment!

Narrator: no but they both have something in common! Everyone died!

*Random fangirls person starts running around screaming*

Random fangirl person: SPOILS!!!

Narrator:...ok?

Random person: just continue

Narrator: he went over to her but then fell of the boat…. Wow…

Juliet: HAHA THAT'S A SUCKY WAY TO DIE YOU-

*Juliet starts to make a gargle sound*

*after a while Juliet dies*

Author: SEE I TOLD YOU! YOU CAN'T SUE ME! PLUS YOU CAN'T EVEN BLAME ME FOR ROMEO!

Narrator: you really don't want to get sued don't ya?

Author: DUH

Narrator: Alright alright! Soon people noticed that there was a dead girl, and saw the dead guy in the ocean… And notified both their parents.

Romeo’s dad: NOOO! MY SON!

Romeo's mom: I knew it! I knew this would happen! See he never listened to me!

Romeo’s dad: I always told him to stay off boats.. Boats are the enemy!

*Romeo's dad lights the boat on fire*

Romeo's dad: BOATS ARE THE ENEMY! RAGH!

Romeo's mom: YEEEEEAAAAAAH!

Juliet's mom: umm…. Are we supposed to do this too?

Juliet's dad: Ummm… I don't know….

Juliet’s mom: I thought ninjas would kill us?

Random guy with coffee: did we start yet?

Juliet's mom: Yes…

Random guy with coffee: oh… one sec…

*everyone falls on the floor except narrator*

Random guy with coffee: alright done…

Narrator: um…?

Random guy with coffee: we are done…

Narrator: what?

Random guy with coffee: we finished the play…

Narrator: oh….

Random guy with coffee: yep

Narrator: so we just stay here?

Random guy with coffee: yep

Narrator: forever?

Random guy with coffee: yep.

           .       .THE END.         .     

(did you read it? If so, Here have a donut! 🍩 and if you didn't read it! Have a donut!🍩)