Soundtrack for this chapter:
Beautiful Drug—Zac Brown Band
I'll be Home for Christmas—Bing Crosby*
Blackbird—The Beatles

26

Theo

Boston greeted us with an icy wind as we stepped out of the airport, but I'd take that chill over going back to Jules' hometown any day.

She was exhausted and stayed slumped against my passenger side window the entire ride back to Parnassus. Her being asleep allowed me to at least attempt to collect my thoughts. I loved her, loved her more than anything, but having her legal troubles and family issues unsettled didn't sit well with me. I wanted them done, not only for her, but for me, for us, so we could really move on in our relationship; I feared everything would loom over us until she was officially divorced.

I'd already made up my mind to talk with dad on Christmas. I knew she wanted to hold off, but I couldn't wait; for her sake, I'd keep that conversation from her knowledge, but I needed to get advice from him, I needed to see what we could do. If she wasn't willing to use those recordings—recordings that literally made me want to kill that bastard she was married to—to coerce him into signing whatever paperwork she needed, she was going to need extensive legal help, whether she wanted to admit that or not; her stubbornness was unparalleled to that of anyone I'd ever met.

When I pulled up to her building at Parnassus, I set a gloved hand on her thigh and rubbed up and down to wake her. She peered at me through squinted eyes.

"Hi."

"Hi, Jules."

She turned to her window and looked out of it. "Why're we at Parnassus?"

"Oh, er, I wasn't sure if you wanted to stay at my place or—"

"I'm just going to run in and grab a few changes of clothes, and something to wear on Christmas. I...I'd like to stay with you for a few days, if that's okay."

"That's always okay, Jules. I'll be here waiting."

She smiled at me and pushed herself out of my car. It was pretty dead on campus, which made sense given it was winter break. The stillness around me allowed me to further reflect on everything I'd learned in the past forty-eight hours.

All I wanted for her was to be free. I wanted her to be able to be the person she wanted to be, with no reservations, with nothing holding her back, and I wanted to be the one to help her reach that point.

Jules and I had this habit of pushing off any problems we were having by, well, to put it bluntly, being intimate. I think we both knew it wasn't necessarily the healthiest way to deal with our problems, but, it reminded us why were were together, because we loved each other. She's so fucking beautiful, and I knew, deep in my heart, that she was the one, so, really, when it got down to it, what did it matter if we solved our problems by showing each other how much we loved one another?

As I was thinking about the prospect of Jules and I stripping off each other's clothing the moment we got back to my house, my pants began to grow a little tight. Her reappearance at my side door was enough to snap me out of my daydream and for things to return to normal.

"I grabbed a dress for Christmas as I'm guessing we'll be going to church?"

I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she stared at me. "If you want to wear a dress, you're more than welcome to, but you don't have to. God doesn't care what you wear to church, so long as you're there."

Her bottom lip gave the smallest quivver, and I ran my thumb along it.

"Don't. Today is the start of Jules Calhoun making every decision with her wants and her needs at the forefront, okay? Don't think about anyone else, not even me. You have to start putting yourself first; you have to stop worrying about what other people want or what other people need. You've played that role for too long."

She closed her eyes as she rested her cheek in my palm. After a deep breath, she opened them again and pierced right through to my soul with those honey eyes of hers. "So have you."

I shook my head. "It's different, Jules. You do what others want or what others expect because you're afraid of disappointing them. It's time to put yourself first, to do what makes you happy."

She gave me the smallest of head nods and sank back into her seat. I pulled out of Parnassus, my mind only on her.

***

Back at my house, we walked in to find Danny and Aiden cracking up at some movie they were watching. Danny paused it once we were in the door and waved.

"Welcome back. There's pizza in the kitchen if you two are hungry."

"Starving. Thanks, Danny."

"Ditto," Jules piped up from behind me.

Danny started the movie up again as Jules and I tread into the kitchen, the scent of the still warm pepperoni pizza meeting us in the doorway.

"How many slices?"

"Just one. I'll grab the plates." She slipped right past me as I opened the box to reveal our dinner.

As I placed a slice on her dish, she motioned for the living room. "Want to watch that movie with Dan and Aiden?"

"I thought you'd never ask." I winked at her, and she tumbled into a fit of giggles. It was refreshing to hear her laughter ring throughout our house.

Jules and I joined my brothers to watch the second half of whatever comedy it was they were into. Jules had apparently seen it before as she quickly took to discussing various scenes with them, but I couldn't remember having ever seen it. Watching Jules interact with my brothers, as if she was already family, confirmed everything I'd been feeling about her for the last few months. She was someone I never wanted to be without.

When the movie was through and both mine and Jules' eyes were drooping with sleep, I nudged her with my shoulder and nodded towards the stairs. She smiled at me, said goodnight to my brothers, and then led the way up to my bedroom.

As we laid there, she came in close to me, and I felt something cool against my arm. When I reached up, my fingers made contact with the St. Michael medallion that was still strung around her neck.

"Jules, can...can I have this back?"

"Of course you can. I was just holding onto it until you wanted it again." Her fingers went to the back of her neck to unhook the clasp. Once it was off and she'd removed the little medal, she placed it in my open palm and closed my fingers around it. "I'm sorry I lied to you. I know I've already apologized and I know you're fighting the urge to tell me to stop, but I just wanted to say it again. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you the full truth. You've been nothing but kind to me and I held something from you that I never should have."

"I haven't been entirely faultless, Jules. I said really shitty things to you out of anger. I hate that I let my own frustration get the better of me. I know I made you feel like shit that night at your apartment. I don't ever want to make you feel that way again."

"I lied to you, kept secrets from you. I deserved—"

"Don't say that. You didn't deserve me telling you that you were a waste of time. We both made mistakes. I'm willing to admit that; you don't need to make excuses for me. I love you, Jules, and I promise to stand behind you and support you in whatever way you need it, so long as you want me."

"I'll always want you, Theo. You're the greatest Christmas gift I could have ever asked for." And with that her lips dipped into mine before we both drifted off.

***

Christmas with the Brynes was a two day affair, and it started with brunch at mom and dad's on Christmas Eve. We then crammed as many Christmas movies as we could fit into the time between brunch and dinner, and after dinner it was time for our annual drive around the neighborhood to look at all of the lights before heading to midnight mass.

Jules interacted with my family in such a natural way that it felt like she'd known all of us for years rather than months. Her and my sisters got on incredibly well, and mom adored her nearly as much as I did.

As mom finished putting the last of the hot chocolate she'd made into to-go cups, the rest of my family huddled around in the living room, ready to divvy up the driving responsibilities.

Dad looked around at the nine of us. "With eleven of us total, we're going to need at least three cars."

"I have no interest in trying to get Caeden's car seat into someone else's car, so we can take two of you." Mary put on her mom voice, which was weird and kind of irritating at the same time. 

Erin volunteered her and Aiden to ride with my oldest sister, so I spoke up that Danny and Marnie could join me and Jules.

"All settled. Your mom and I will follow the lot of you around and to the church." Just as he finished talking, mom came around the hall with a crowded tray of hot chocolate.

"Don't drink them just yet—I made them extra hot so they'd stay warm longer." She scanned the room, and when her eyes fell on the dark bay window at the front of their home, she cursed just loudly enough for us to hear.

"Mom. Caeden is going to start picking up words soon!"

"Oh, Mary, hush. Your father and I used much worse around all of you when you were little. We forgot to light the candle in the window before dinner."

Jules looked at me with confusion in her eyes, and I leaned into her to explain. "There's this Irish tradition of lighting a candle on Christmas Eve and letting it burn until Christmas. It's supposed to be symbolic as a light for Mary and Joseph, the parents of Jesus."

As Jules made to respond, mom jumped in. "But Theo won't let us light a real candle. Ever since he became an EMT, he's refused to let us burn a real one all—"

"Yes, mom, because I'd rather not have the entire house burn down on Christmas."

"Okay, okay. Well, we missed it at sunset, but we'll just have to light it now. Theo, you want to play for us?"

"Mom, we—" but Jules was squeezing my forearm and looking up at me expectantly. "Yeah, sure. Jules, would you mind accompanying me?"

A momentary blush built in her cheeks, but she rolled her eyes at me and followed me over to my parents' piano.

"You know the words to "I'll be Home for Christmas"?"

"I guess I deserved this, huh?"

"Opened yourself right up to it." I sat at the bench and left enough room for Jules. If I'm being completely honest, I hadn't heard her sing in over a month, and the thought of getting to hear her voice fill my head again almost made me forget the notes of the song.

My fingers pressed down on the keys and Jules' soft, gentle voice filled my parents' home. They always had me play that same song at least once during the holidays because even though the speaker in the song says he'll only be home for Christmas in his dreams, we'd never had to spend a Christmas apart. I think if we had, mom surely would've lost it.

At the close of the song, I felt two hands come down on my shoulders. I knew they were mom's the second they made contact with me. She gave them a little squeeze, then moved down the bench and hugged Jules from behind.

"That was lovely, dear. You two make quite the musical pair."

"Thank you, Colleen, for your kind words and for dinner and for welcoming me into your family as if I were one of your own." Jules stood from the bench and gave my mom a true hug. When mom wrapped her arms around Jules and held her tightly, I noticed the smallest of shudders work its way over Jules.

Mom unwrapped herself from Jules and passed out the hot chocolates. Once everyone was buttoned up and ready to face the tundra that was Boston, we made it out to our cars to head off into the night.

Jules and I were the last out of the house, and I stopped her for a moment on the front steps just after I pulled the door closed and locked it.

"I wasn't meant to be home for Christmas the year I was deployed. But, well, I was. I think mom likes to hear that song because it reminds her that we've always all been together. I know it was probably weird for you to sing that, given everything that's happened over the last few days, but I appreciate you doing it. Usually they just get to hear the piano."

She rose up on her toes and pecked me on the lips. "Your mom feels like more of a mom to me than mine ever has. I'd sing whatever she wanted me to sing."

I couldn't help touching my lips down to hers again despite the protests from my brother.

"Hey! Lovebirds! Would you at least open the car door? It's twenty fucking degrees out here!"

"DAN!"

"Shit. Sorry, Mary! You're going to need to strap some earmuffs on that kid." 

Jules was nearly doubled over in laughter. "I love your family."

"And they love you. Let's roll."

We drove around to all of the best lit houses in our neighborhood before finally making it to the church. The whole of it was perfumed with incense and the altar was covered in red and white poinsettias. All that was missing was the baby Jesus in the manger.

That evening at mass I prayed mostly for Jules, that she would make it through to the other side of this battle with her family stronger than ever, that she would allow me to support her in any way I could. I knew she wanted to do things on her own, but I also just wanted to make things as easy for her as possible. I never wanted to see the defeated Jules I'd met in Savannah ever again.

Father Davies was waiting at the back of the church when mass was over, and I figured then was as good as any of a time to introduce him to Jules. I whispered into Jules' ear as everyone else filed out of the church.

"I want to introduce you to Father Davies. I've known him my entire life; he's kind of an institution here at this church."

She gave my hand a little squeeze and smiled as I led her to our long time priest. His mouth stretched into a warm grin as we approached.

"Ah, my favorite Bryne boy," he dropped his voice and added, "don't tell your brothers that. Merry Christmas, Theo."

"Merry Christmas, Father. I, um, I wanted to introduce you to Jules. I know you've heard about her, but I never got the chance to formally introduce you."

Jules stepped in front of me and took hold of Father Davies's outstretched hands. "It's lovely to meet you, Father. Theo speaks so highly of you."

"As he does of you, young lady. It's a pleasure to finally meet the woman who has captivated our Theo's heart. Merry Christmas, dear."

"Merry Christmas, Father." There again was just the slightest quiver in Jules' voice, and I started to think that the Christmas we were sharing was probably the most loving one she'd ever experienced.

On the ride home, Jules was quiet, not asleep as Danny and Marnie were, but just quiet. When I pulled into our driveway, Danny and Marnie expressed their thanks and Jules and I followed them into the house.

Up in my room, Jules remained quiet as she changed out of her dress and into her Celtics shirt and a pair of pajama pants. When she returned from brushing her teeth, I swapped places with her and brushed mine. I had to say something to her, had to figure out what was going through her mind.

Back in my room, I found Jules kneeling at the side of my bed. Her hands were folded in front of her, and her head was bent with her eyes closed. I knelt and joined her. When she felt my presence next to her, she leaned her head onto my shoulder.

"What're you praying for?"

"I don't think I'm praying. I'm saying thank you."

"That's also praying, my sweet Jules."

She was quiet for another minute, then, "T?"

"Yes, Calhoun?"

"I've never felt so much love and warmth at Christmas. It was always just a reason for my father to strengthen his business connections. Thank you for sharing your family with me."

Well, fuck. "I'd share anything with you, Jules."

"I know you would. That's what makes you, you."

I leaned over and placed a kiss in her hair. "Let's sleep. It's late, and Santa still needs to come down our chimney."

She laughed, and I've said it before, and I'd say it every day for the rest of my life, I could listen to the sound of her laughter forever.

***

In the morning, I woke to a steaming mug of coffee and a bright and cheery Jules in my face.

"Merry Christmas!" She leaned in and kissed me hard on the mouth. Even in my sleepy stupor, my hands went to the back of her head and kept her lips locked on mine. "Ahh, careful." She managed to keep the coffee from spilling over the sides.

"Merry Christmas, Jules. Thank you." I took the coffee from her and sipped it; she'd prepared it perfectly. "You're in quite the mood this morning."

"I just...I don't know. Even though we went to bed really late last night and even though the last few days have been hell on earth, when I woke up this morning, I just felt so...so...happy. I've never looked so forward to Christmas morning as I have with you."

"I don't think you'll ever cease keeping me on my toes."

Jules rounded back to her side of the bed and pulled something from the bag she packed. "Can I give you your gift now? Please?"

"Easy, Jules. What time is it?"

"Seven."

"Seven? Jules, brunch at my parents isn't till eleven."

"I know but I woke up at six and I was bored and it's Christmas, Theo. It's the best Christmas."

"Wow. This is...this is a whole new side of Jules that I don't think I've met before. I like her."

She was grinning ear to ear, really as though she were a child on Christmas morning. She made me feel so young again, and I loved her immensely for it.

"Well? Can I give you your gift now?"

"I don't know...I'm afraid this is just the Christmas spirit in you and it may fade once we get the really Christmas-y things going."

"T...please?"

Could I really ever deny her?

"Alright, alright. Let me go grab yours."

I set my mug down, but as I moved to get up, she caught hold of my hand.

"You got me something?"

"Of course I did. I love the shit out of you."

"Oh, you didn't—"

"Have to get you something? Are you crazy?" I pulled out of her hold and went to the top drawer of my dresser, where I grabbed the two wrapped gifts I had for her. When I sat back across from her, the color of her eyes started to mist over. "What's going through your head right now?"

"It's just...for the last few years...Will and I didn't really exchange gifts...Christmas was really just like any other day on the calendar."

"Not anymore. From here on out, Christmas is going to be the best day of your year, I promise. Well, other than your birthday. Here, open this one first." I handed her the smaller of the two boxes.

As she tore the snowflake patterned wrapping paper from the box and lifted the lid, I watched carefully for her reaction. She pulled the silver necklace from the box and held the little medallion in her fingers.

"That's Saint Dymphna. She's the patron saint of therapists. I don't ever want you to question the career choice you made. You're an incredible mental health healer, Jules. You care more about the people you help than you do about yourself, and that's what it takes to be one of the good ones." She started blinking at me. "Uh-uh. No tears on Christmas. Not even happy ones. Open the second one now."

Jules carefully pulled back the paper on the second gift I'd gotten her. It was an old copy of the book that inspired her tattoo that I'd found at a local thrift store. It was a beautiful edition, one that someone had clearly loved and taken good care of.

"This...Theo this is so thoughtful. I...I really don't know what to say."

"You have strong wings, Jules, I know you do. You have to believe you do, too."

"Is it okay to cry now?"

"Nope. No tears on Chris—"

Before I could even get the word out, she'd tackled me on my bed. Her lips sunk into my neck, and her arms reached as far around me as they could.

"Will you open yours now?"

"If you get off me, I'll do whatever you want." Her giggles filled my ears.

"Okay. It's not as exciting to open. I couldn't really package it, so you have to be very careful opening it."

My brows furrowed in her direction. When she set the wrapped gift in my hands, it hardly weighed anything. "Did you wrap paper?"

"Just open it! Carefully."

"Alright, alright." I did as she said, cautiously pulling back the paper. To my surprise, she had gift wrapped paper. When I unfolded it, it was an itinerary for the Vermont Trip we'd started discussing a few weeks prior. "Did you—"

"I did. It's all booked. I called the station to make sure you had the days off. We leave on the 28th and come back on the 1st. I thought it'd be nice to spend New Year's together up there."

"Jules...I...we were supposed to split this."

"It's all taken care of. You've done more for me than I can ever repay you for. Let me take you on this trip. You deserve it."

I dropped the paper between us and took my turn at tackling her. She collapsed back on the bed, laugher once again filling my room.

"I love you, Jules."

"I love you too, Theo." There was the hint of a smirk lurking in her lips, as if she wasn't quite done yet. But in that moment I decided to let it go. If this was going to make Jules happy, it was going to make me happy. Besides, spending a few nights with her in the mountains of Vermont sounded like the best way I could imagine to spend time with the woman I loved.

***

At my parents' house, we alternated between eating and singing Christmas songs and exchanging gifts and watching those classic animated Christmas movies in an attempt to feel like kids again.

Towards the end of the night, as Jules was in the family room playing with Caeden and his new train set, I seized the opportunity to speak with dad. Regardless of how wonderful that Christmas had been, I couldn't shed the thought of Jules' impending troubles with Will.

"Dad? Can I chat with you in the kitchen?"

"Course, T. Lead the way."

We sat down at the stools butted up against the counter.

"I have a pretty big favor to ask."

"Well that's lucky. I have something I want from you, so maybe we can both help each other out." He wore a sly smile.

"I'm now afraid to ask. Regardless, you have to promise you won't tell Jules about this, okay?"

"You're my son. Jules is wonderful, but you're my boy."

"Right, okay, well, know, from the start, that she did not want me to come to you about this. If she had it her way, you'd never know about this, but she's stubborn, and she's going to need your help."

"Go on."

"Jules is, well, technically, still married?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

I let out the breath I was holding. "Sorry. Telling you. Dad, it's really fucked up—sorry, it is—and she's going to need a lot of help."

"I assume she's separated from this person?"

"Legally? Probably not. Physically, yes. She moved out last August and has been living here since. She tried to file all of the correct paperwork a few days ago when she was in Savannah, but her ex-husband got to her lawyer and pretty much paid him not to work for her anymore."

"What? That, that goes against every ethical—" his voice rose in volume, and I put my hands up in front of him.

"I know, I know, dad. I told you it's messed up. Her ex refuses to sign any paperwork and has told her he will drag out the divorce as long as possible if she could find a lawyer who would work with her, but she's not going to find one in Savannah, dad. Her family and his are too well connected."

"This is not okay, Theo."

"I get that, dad. She thinks she can represent herself. She has these recordings of him, phone conversations they've had. He threatened to, and I quote, drag her ass back where it belongs, if she didn't go back to Savannah." I felt my blood beginning to thicken and my chest tightening just thinking about it.

"Did he know he was being recorded?"

"I don't think so."

"Alright. When I'm back in the office, let me take some time to think this through and figure out our best course of action. If she decides to go to trial, since she's been living here for a year and a half, she actually wouldn't be required to file in Savannah. She could potentially do it here. You're going to convince her to come talk to me?"

"I'm going to try."

"Try hard. She can't go in it alone. No judge will entertain that. Now, for my half of the bargain."

"What?"

"I told you, I've got something I need from you. Months ago you told me you were considering going back to school for your paramedic cert. How's that going?"

"Well, you see—"

"I figured. I'll help Jules, I'd be more than happy to help her seeing as to how happy she makes you, but you need to apply somewhere to get your paramedic cert. You're too good at what you do to stay at the level you're at currently."

"You drive a hard bargain, Davin Bryne."

"Just want the best for my kids. Can you really blame me?"

Dad stuck his hand out between us, but when I grabbed it, I pulled him in for a hug. "Thanks, dad. Love you."

"Love you too, T. Always happy to have you home."

A/N: Hi!

Yay! Finally some happy! I'm stoked to write the scenes of Jules and Theo in Vermont. Do you have any guesses as to what else she's planning for him?

Anyways, I literally started this today and have been writing for hours because I'm super busy this weekend 😂

I love you all so so so much. Please vote and comment and chat with me :)

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

See you next week,
L